Login Here
Bob Stokes and Rick Santorum
Tonight at FDL I'm inviting Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar to come over from their cable-access station in Aurora, Illinois to bring their cable-related expertise to bear on the interesting situation of The Weather Channel, which is looking to get big bucks selling itself to a new owner even as it tries to suppress the news of their having lost a sexual-harassment suit against them. Take it away, Wayne and Garth!
(Shot of camera doing a slow fade in to the sound of '80s-style metal music; two young men in typical late-'80s metal head garb and hairdos sit in what looks to be a typical studio set for an interview show)
WAYNE AND GARTH: Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party Time! FDL!
WAYNE: Welcome to Wayne's World on FDL! I am your excellent host, Wayne Campbell, and with me as always is Garth Algar. Thanks to Fire Dog Lake and Phoenix Woman for this most excellent opportunity!
WAYNE AND GARTH (getting up from their chairs and kneeling in front of the camera, arms outstretched): We're not worthy! We're not worthy! We SUCK!
(W&G return to their chairs and high-five each other)
GARTH: Party on, Wayne!
WAYNE: Party on, Garth!
WAYNE: Today our guests on Wayne's World will be Bob Stokes, the former male anchor for The Weather Channel who got fired after TWC lost a sexual-harassment lawsuit filed against it by one of his former anchorwomen, Hillary Andrews, and former Senator from Pennsylvania Rick Santorum, who tried to make it illegal for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration to do what they have for decades, which is to provide for free what his buddies at Accu-Weather and The Weather Channel charge the public to see.
(Camera cuts to show Stokes and Santorum in seats flanking Garth and Wayne respectively)
GARTH: Harsh! What is it with Republicans, greed, and condoning sexual mistreatment of women, dude? It makes me think of the woman employee of Halliburton who the company held captive after she got raped by her own co-workers!
WAYNE: Good call, Garth. Maybe these two gentlemen could clue us in on that. Let's start with Bob Stokes. Bob, tell us how you think your being called out for sexual harassment will affect the efforts of TWC to sell itself -- whoa!
GARTH: Dude! Stop it!
STOKES: (touching Garth's hair) You're so lovely...
(Wayne and Garth push Stokes back into his chair)
GARTH: Take your Ritalin, dude! (Aside to Wayne) Hey, I get to say that to somebody for a change! Schweeet!
WAYNE: While we're waiting for Bob to take his chill pill, let's go to our other guest, former Senator and traditional family values advocate Rick Santorum. (turns to Santorum) Sexistgreedheaddipwad say what?
SANTORUM: What?
WAYNE: Thank you. Garth, how's Bob doing over there?
STOKES: (to Garth) Can I show you my swizzle stick, honey?
GARTH: I think I'm gonna hurl!
WAYNE: Um, schwing?
STOKES: Tell me what you like about me. I need to hear it. Tell me you find me attractive.
GARTH: Dude, no way!
STOKES: C'mon, please, just tell me you find me attractive --
(Wayne pulls out a baseball bat and hits Stokes, who slumps in his chair)
GARTH: Whoa! Thanks, dude!
WAYNE: No problemo!
(Wayne turns to Santorum) Any comments, Senator?
SANTORUM: Miss Andrews brought it on herself by having a mannish career. In fact, even getting an education is the wrong way for poor, low-skill, unmarried mothers with high school diplomas or GEDs to move up the economic ladder.
WAYNE: (speechless for some moments) Umm...okay. I'm sure that this was what led to your being reelected in 2006...
(exchanges a knowing look with Garth)
WAYNE AND GARTH: (together) ...NOT!
WAYNE: Denied!
(They high-five each other as Santorum looks on and Stokes lolls in his chair)
WAYNE: Well, we're out of time for this special FDL edition of Wayne's World. Good night and remember to be excellent to one another.
GARTH: Wait, isn't that Bill and Ted's line?
WAYNE: Yeah it is, but it's pretty cool, so I'm borrowing it.
GARTH: Cool. Party on, Wayne!
WAYNE: Party on, Garth!
WAYNE AND GARTH: Party on, everybody! Wayne's World! Wayne's World!
STOKES: (stirring back to consciousness) I could win you over if I wanted to.
WAYNE AND GARTH: Eeeeeewwwww!
(fade out)
Share This 
Spotlight
Aloha, PW!
Party On, Dudette! Dang, PW, most excellent… post! ;-)
Even us middle aged crotchety Moms who do not follow pop culture get THIS one. party on.
Crotchety, eh? ;-)
Hey PW!
lmao
What CTuttle said!!! 707
Love it! Thanks, Phoenix Woman;)
well, creaky anyway.
The link “Denied” goes nowhere…:(
“Jane’s World! Jane’s World!”
PW — any word on what’s happening with Grit Tv?
well done, PW!
KO funny as PW! Showing the Billo meltdown.
Yes! was hoping he’d do that.
That Billo clip is hilarious!!
I Dugg PW!
Aloha!
That’s wonderful!
Grit-tv is rescheduled for 7pm pacific, about an hour from now. Sorry for the delay.
Party time! Ex-cel-lent!
I see Egregious has left a note on the original Grit TV thread earlier that the feed has been rescheduled for 7 p.m. Pacific time.
The real Bill O’Reilly, though. I’ve seen some egos, but his is beyond real. Perhaps less than McCane, but greater than 99.5% of us.
Thanks, Eg. I was wondering what was up, myself!
Welcome Wayne and Garth! Love your guests, PW - they had me laughing out loud. Thanks ;)
Condi’s got some more headaches. I’m thinking she should buy some Berkenstocks.
Saw it early this AM, on the AOL homepage of all places! I think KO might have left a little out, not sure…
Q? from EPU land: How’s Rusty these days?
He’s a piece of work. I bet his
co-workersslaves hate working for him. Oh yeah, and what a fucking potty mouth!!!Bless his heart.
Wangdangdoodle, will I get to see you at Netroots Nation? I so look forward to meeting LS and eCAHN! And to seeing pups I met last summer. Who else is coming?
Hi, Kirk! How goes it on the Left Coast?
I think you are talking about the clip on Huff post.
I can’t wait for the tell all book his wife writes *G*
Oh, you bet your boots! I’m thinking of throwing a BBQ.
He’s doing okay. He’s had some good results from treatment…still a struggle for him though…no thought he’d make it this far…but he’s keepin’ on keepin’ on. He’s like the energizer bunny…he could be frail, but when he gets on stage…same old Rusty…FYI 5/23 Saxon 10:30 show. Thanks for asking.
I didn’t see that one. Should I?
Wood eye?
From the Pay-It-Forward Dept. Scene from The Royal Wedding.
Appropriate and disseminate.
I certainly enjoyed seeing Billo go crazy. It was fun.
If it’s anything like the Andrea Mackris memoir, it’ll sell like hotcakes.
I swear I’ll make it for that one!
Supper’s ready, back in a few…
(Meat loaf, mashed taters, green beans)
It’s like the veil is lifting.
Coolio. I’ll be happy to pitch in.
What are the Netroots dates?
Hi PW - life here is absolutely beautiful…spent last week with the Ruckus Society on the Sonoma Coast (camping out)…got to help when they build the six-story scaffold for climb training, eat yummy food, and hang out under the starts and moon with old (and new) friends. Woo-hoo!
I hope you’ve been well and happy and spring has come to your neck of the Great Lakes….
try the Hitler version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvyD2fo99Mg
(((Rusty)))
(((LS)))
Yeehaw!!
I just don’t understand why Billo is still on the air…and wish someone would kindly explain.
Round about the 16th-19th of July. I don’t want to shuffle papers at the moment…
Thanks Kirk - Rusty/Colon mets liver…but the chemo has “significantly” reduced the colon tumor…liver..not so much…yet.
Well, I’ll be here.
Fox signed a pact. In blood.
Run, Vito, run.
Whoo Hoo. Hope we can coordinate WDD’s BBQ with newtonusr’s time. He may not be able to be there all three days.
John I’m-A-Greenie McBu’ush speech on global warming:
“…For the market to do more, government must do more by opening new paths of invention and ingenuity. And we must do this in a way that gives American businesses new incentives and new rewards to seek, instead of just giving them new taxes to pay and new orders to follow. The most direct way to achieve this is through a system that sets clear limits on all greenhouse gases, while also allowing the sale of rights to excess emissions. And this is the proposal I will submit to the Congress if I am elected president — a cap-and-trade system to change the dynamic of our energy economy…”
Everyone needs to loudly call bullshit.
Dude, you’re a sitting Senator. Sponsor a friggin’ bill right now and push for passage. Wait until you’re President? Why?
What crap.
OMG!
Fun, fun, fun.
We made BBQ ribs yesterday…4 1/2 hours…slow smoked dry rub (sugar, paparika, onion powder)….fell off the bone…(I know..if you are a vegan…not so good)..I’m not, and they were amazing.
Ding!
The man just opens his mouth and Karl Rove peeks his head out and speaks and then McBush swallows.
I’m drooling….
You didn’t get the recipe from McInsane’s web site, did ya…? ;-)
OT
besides digging PW (and who doesn’t!)
if you haven’t given Christy digg love for this morning’s post, “McCain’s Economic Policies Like A Third Bush Term? Yes,” please do
I got it from the “Neelys” on the food channel. Trick is…3/4 of the way through the cooking time…wrap in foil for the remainder of time..oh, and use wet hickory chips for the smoke. We just sat outside, blasted music, drank beer and Cuervo Gold…and let ‘er rip. Sigh. Oh…and we did corn and potatoes too. Shucks and all….
Yum, now that’s the way to BBQ…! ;-)
Egregious headed up the FDL get-together last year. She was most generous. Jane will make the determination as to official FDL plans, but we can meet and eat either way. Egregious? Jane?
I would love to be at a Luau myself…I don’t know about that poi stuff though…
Bah hahahahaha Phoenix Woman! I’m going to send the link to this post to Robert McCain whom I’ve been
yelling atspeaking to via email. He’s trying to convince me that businesses are always innocent. He’ll love your post big time! LOLThere’s nothing like corn cooked in the shucks. YUMMY…! [still drooling]
I can’t afford to actually attend the netroots part, but I’ll be here for “extracurricular” activities though.
Dugg. Haven’t had a chance to go through all of the links yet…but you’re right. It was excellent and should be seen far and wide.
Fresh poi is edible, what they call ‘day old’ poi is sour stuff…! ;-)
Oh fuck. To teh Google Mobile!
No worries…
Perfect!
We must coordinate when I am soberer. I had a hard time staying on the wagon today.
Easy way to do it indoors, about three to four husks at a time:
1) Peel back husks just enough to remove silk, then smear corn kernels with butter. Replace husks.
2) Put in microwave on high for a couple of minutes.
3) Remove and serve. Yummy!
This guy on Tucker just nailed Rove:
“He’s the enemy of facts”.
Dude!!
Spring’s come to the Great Lakes — it’s a bit chillier than usual, but the chill has kept the tornadoes away.
Wangdang…I look forward to seeing you…
L
Extra-curricular is where it’s at, bay-bee.
You mean ‘The Verdict’ with Dan Abrams, don’t cha? ;-)
Yummmm…
I love corn.
I like it with garlic butter.
My ultimate favorite food in the world is….Artichokes with garlic butter…I could drown in them…
BTW, Horton and Seigelman are on right now…!
Same here! And I have a floor if anyone needs a place to crash.
Oh yeah…Tucker’s the guest…
Abrams…
Thanks!!!
I’m paying half attention… :)
Netroots Nation schedule.
What’s the fees for NetRoots? I might bust out my outrigger canoe…! ;-)
Who is the guy - and thanks for watching Tucker cause just the sight or sound of him makes me uneasy/queasy.
Siegelman…heh, heh…on Abrams…it’s clear someone at DOJ told Bloch to shut down the investigation…we used the FOIA to get the documents and were denied…
Dan Abrams…thank you for staying on this case!!!
Oof, $375-450… Kinda steep…!
Yum is right! In Germany, I’ve heard, they don’t eat corn as it is considered food for pigs. Are they ever missing out!
Okay.
That’s just it…I’ve never seen him before. I don’t know who he is, but he rocked…quick…smart…
Tucker was only a guest, Scott Horton and Seigelman were on…! Tucker doesn’t have a show anymore, NPB! Thank Gawd for small miracles…! 8-)
He’s been all over the Siegelman case…I’m really glad about that.
Yikes!
$375-$450
Come, CT! It was $225 back in November, I think it’s $300. now. You do not want to miss it if at all possible. Barack could be there this year…no insider info, just my guess. He was there last year with all of the other dem candidates…
Heh, see my 88…! 8-)
There must be a way to sneak in. Adorn kitchen wear and a pair of tongs and walk like you know where you’re going!
This is an interesting read…referring to the group in Texas…the religious group that has been “invaded”:
http://www.freerepublic.com/fo.....4556/posts
totally funny :)
Saw it too late, but I know where to put the canoe in at Barton Springs!
CT, you are a blogger. There are probably better rates for folks like you who go the extra 100 miles. It may even be free for you. Check it out!
LOL…I’ll put a hairnet on and carry a mop…
oooooh, free republic? They scare me, but not as much as this place!
First, I need to check with JoFish to see if I can get some advertising fees and/or a donate button on M&C, it’s a .org, so I’m not sure if it’s possible…!
That’s how it’s done! Some folks tried that on us at the Armadillo, but of course, we knew each other… these venues, on the other hand, prolly woodn’t. Just shout orders at ‘em and watch ‘em scurry!
Small miracles Indeed! I knew Tucker lost his show and never stop hoping Dan Abrams will lose his time slot as well but guess it is too much to expect him to can his own sorry ass. KO could easily cover both hours and increase ratings in da bargain imho.
Heh, heh. I know, but the letter to Bush is interesting. Think about it…think about the “home invasion”…I think it sets a precedent…you seem suspicious, based on BS, and we come in and take everyone away, including your kids, who we place in foster homes…based on …stuff you found out after you took the kids away? It may end up that they were doing what they are being charged with..but the way they went about it is not right. JMHO
Tiz a puzzlement.
I think a real Texas BBQ would be the cat’s pajamas.
I might end up speaking with a twang! (So far, my exposer to the twang is totally negative, if you get my drift.)
I actually like Abrams for the most part, I just wish he’d can Tweety and Morning Joe… That would really make my day, or rather, my year…! ;-)
“Y’all” (you) have nothing to worry about. Austin is one of the most progressive cities in the world.
Oooo…and Johnsonville Better Cheddar sausages…O.M.G….
Git ur Grit On! Jane is on now.
Grit TV upstairs!
Heh, one of the only oases in Tejas…! ;-)
in a vast redneck wasteland
Thanks!
pw says–WAYNE AND GARTH: Party on, everybody! Wayne’s World! Wayne’s World!
party time! excellent!!!!
(i had a wayne and garth poster on the landing wall above my basement stairs for years…from my sister…ditched it when i got married and moved….. wish i still had it….shoulda ditched the new husband instead, shoulda known a sign of what was to come when he didn’t like the aurora dudes….)