From "Good Morning, America," via Best of Both Worlds:
Q: Jenna did not want to get married here at the White House, wants to get married at the ranch in Crawford. So what have you done to make it special there? I know that it's always special at the ranch, but for this wedding?
THE PRESIDENT: Well, one thing we did -- I'll let Laura -- she's been in charge, but my one contribution is to -- we put a giant cross made out of Texas limestone that will serve as the altar, but also serve as a landmark on our place for years to come. . . . That's where she's going to get married, right in front of this Texas limestone altar with a cross on it -- by our lake.
That's right, my fellow happy hour barflies, Jenna's big day is this coming Saturday. I've got my invite, I'm packing my inappropriately short black dress, and I'm Waco-bound. I've even been practicing downing Bartles & James shooters.
I'll be among the 200 guests witnessing two royal houses consolidating their power -- Jenna Bush of the House D'Arbusto will marry Henry Hager, son of the begoitered John H. Hager, current Virginia Republican Party chairman, former Bush administration Assistant Secretary of the DOE's Office of Special Education and Rehabilitation Services, and erstwhile Lieutenant Governor of Virginia. As we all know by now, the young, Clorox white, über-wealthy scion-in-waiting was one of Karl Rove's minions before Rove fled to the wilderness of Newsweek. Now that's Republican hegemony, bitches!
I'm really looking forward to seeing how big this party George and Laura are throwing for their professionally rehabilitated daughter will be. I mean, erecting a limestone cross so big that those Russian dudes in the International Space Station can see it? Now that's classy! I wonder if it's going to be draped with those icicle lights. I did hear through the grapevine that the altar will be up on cinder blocks, in keeping with the "trailer trash chic" that the Bushes are famous for.
Jenna, who had the good sense not to have the wedding at the White House, will undoubtedly be resplendent in her white Oscar de la Renta gown as she is led down the aisle by her drug-addled, megalomaniacal, dictator father who had to be cautioned several times by the staff not to wipe his eyeglasses on her train.
In keeping with the casual, low-key tone of the celebration, Jenna's bridal party will consist of a meager fourteen bridesmaids decked out in "fashion forward" chiffon dresses in blues and yellows. Personally, I wouldn't wear chiffon to a kegger, but it's not my party. At least the floral pattern will hide the beer stains and vomit. Still no word on Laura's mother-of-the-bride dress, but you can bet your favorite Nolan Miller "Dynasty" Collection™ shoulderpads that it's going to be iridescent with a drop waist.
It says here on the invitation that after dinner (I requested the fried cheesedog with tater tots), guests will each receive a stuffed and mounted bigmouth bass that Bush personally caught by dynamiting his man-made "lake." I wonder whether I can put that in my carry-on. Oh, and I'm looking forward to the "Camptown Races" singalong with Grammy Bar. I sure hope she doesn't find out that I'm Jewish.
I'll try to catch the bouquet for y'all, but I may be too busy getting shitfaced doing beer bongs with NotJenna.
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I’m taking my gas tax holiday in Prairie Chapel.
Oh, and I am looking forward to Jenna finding out more about all the Presidential candidates. Perhaps you can slip her some literature…
I’m sure she’ll want to know all about Ron Paul.
Oh Dana!!!
Per Jon Stewart and Dana herself:
“President Bush is well aware that the banner should have been much more specific and said ‘mission accomplished for these sailors who are on this ship …’ ” spokeswoman Dana Perino said this week. “And we have certainly paid a price for not being more specific on that banner.”
Oh, Dana…give us a frikkin’ break….
watertiger, no way! How did Babs’ wedding sneak up on me like this? I haven’t even purchased her gift!
That’s not a goiter, it’s a he-wattle.
teehee. great post watertiger!
Not Babs, Loo Hoo! She’s resolute in her singletude.
Jenna, however, can’t write those children’s books forever…
This is it. This is the grand purpose of my months-long bout with major depression. The point was to guarantee that I wouldn’t give a flying fuck about Jenna Bush’s wedding.
At last I can heal.
Water Tiger! Another excellent post!
Goddess…that means they are here in TX this weekend…
Poor Jenna…she’s marrying Rove’s aide….dummy.
woops. Jenna’s gift.
I am surprised the bride’s family chose a cross, with so many implements of death available to them. Wouldn’t an electric chair honor the gubernatorial service of the bride’s father better?
Well, nobody can stop Jenna from writing childrens’ books, watertiger. I’m sure they’re every good as her uncle’s curriculum, Ignite!.
If Coulter’s there, your black dress may be in jeopardy.
a landmark for years to come.
and when they sell the joint next March…
What no tv cameras for the
blessedevent?For the love of banana cupcakes, (who did I steal that from?)
bit as good
Wonder if Shrub will do the chicken dance at the reception?
the coaster with the most-er.
Bet Darth gets the Bride and Groom matching shotguns.
Now that would be some good fun.
i would guess the risk of defilement would be great.
If Paraguay goes and starts signing extradition treaties, they probably won’t be selling after all. Luckily, the enormous limestone death fetish will become an excuse for a permanent military garrison and no-fly zone down in Crawford.
Ha!!! Probably only for the groom.
Via Jon Stewart…how forked up is this:
http://www.theaapc.org/
I hear they’re getting a head start by celebrating Sink-o de Mayonnaise today.
And with Luck Daddy Bush might get them a war.
stupid jenna trying to garner all the attention when anybody who is anybody knows my daughter’s wedding at the end of the month is the most sought after invitation
gee, bet the decision to use blue in the wedding colors really frosted daddy dearest
ooh. looks like mark penn will be speaking… don’t want to miss that - we should go!
They have to marry off Jenna before they attack Iran…they don’t want to taint the “wedding”….ick, ick, ick….Ewwww…a Rove aide…ick, ick, ick….
Jenna!!! Don’t do it!!!
watertiger, Don’t forget to pack a giant big-hair wig! In Texas, it’s urban camouflage.
Having an invite doesn’t necessarily mean you’re home free, as Grace Slick discovered….
Don’t worry we have a plan Bush has always felt a bit jealous of Al Gore so as soon as Bush leaves office we nominate him for a Nobel Prize for bringing *cough* Peace to the Middle East and once he is out of Paraguay we Nab him!
Cops can lie to Perps after all.
Now that’s some dirt…
lmao, the little bunny in the hat says it all.
Too late now. I’m sure the cross is about finished. And I strongly object to a religious symbol being used for political purposes. Bush has already said that he and the Lump will live in Dallas so he will not even have to look at it. Obscene and disgraceful.
Check this robocall crappola…read the whole thing…:
http://www.cqpolitics.com/wmsp.....0002712158
True but I bet Jenna gets laughed at, that and the only Snark she sees on her wedding nite is likely to be from reading the blogs. T Rex should have a field day…if he can keep his cookies down.
Evening all. Will the honeymoon be in Paraguay or the Hague?
Digg it right here!
The wedding night…O.M.G. A Rove aide…Bwahahahahaha
Poor Jenna. What an idiot. Anything for DaDa…
Rovian spawn…ewwwwww…..
dugg and thanks
Maybe a fertility clinic our upper class I think has reached a point where they need medical help breeding.
At least NotJenna is still available.
Ah, sweet sweet NotJenna…
Howdy, Suz, I see ya snuck in while I was peeling some spuds and marinated some rib-eyes…! ;-)
what is not-jenna’s name
imagine having to be defined not by what you are, but by what you are not
i’ve been known to be around when folks least suspect it…
Jenna…Don’t do it! Get a life!
Rovian spawn…ewwwwww…..
Yep it worse than The Call of Cthulhu Spawn!
Ba-wa.
lucky
Barbara !
I have never understood why anyone would give a fuck what either of them do. They are about as interesting as watching paint dry.
if i were named for mommy bush, i would be happy to be called not-jenna
15 attendants? Just a bit over the top, maybe? And the wedding gown. That thing has a train, and she’s getting married outside. Word to the wise, Jenna-I got married in a bit longer than tea-length dress in an outdoor wedding and there were so many teeny little bugs in the layers of my skirt I like to never got them all out! Dragging that train all over the Crawford dirt is not gonna look good in the pictures. Just sayin…
May I suggest this as their song
President Gas
with this video version from downwithtyranny1
We can only hope. ;-)
They look like a nice matched pair.
What they’re a pair of is a whole ‘nother question. [/s]
They have to marry off Jenna before they attack Iran…they don’t want to taint the “wedding”….ick, ick, ick….Ewwww…a Rove aide…ick, ick, ick….
Jenna!!! Don’t do it!!!
No Bush wants a grandmonster conceived the night of an another unjust war that he starts.
Lovecraft reference *g* cool
The pollies look like carpet sweepers.
Thanks Darth is more evil than the Old Ones
Hey WT! Bunch of us firepups are just down the lane 50 or 100 miles from Crawford. Stop on in!
Jenna “Stepford” Bush
*waving to Millineryman* Great song!
Think the gown will end up in a thrift shop in a couple-three months?
BTW, Suz… FTFY…!
I hadn’t seen the resemblance between Daddy and daughter until that picture. She is a scary Mini-Me, especially her smile.
Oh my goodness, the train might get caught in the Bush…I mean the Brush…I mean the brush that Bush wacked…I mean…
Bush wacked brush and the train might get caught in it…in the bush…or the brush?
See…they have a security problem.
Oh, by the way….Jenna is no Diana.
greetings from your OT Indiana political reporter.
Attended an Obama rally tonight. E-lec-tric!!
Thing was supposed to start at 7:30 - and it was right across the street, so I decided to get pro-active and leave about 40 minutes early. I had already looked out the window and the park was only about half-full - I figured I’d get a good spot. Wrong.
Had to go through security-check first, and the line forms right over there, mister. 6 1/2 blocks later, with people lined up two, three or four-wide, I came to the end of the line. Eventually the police started changing the line from straight and re-routed up one block and down the other side - like those velvet ropes at the bank, ya know?
I wonder just how many thousands and thousands of people were actually there.
Did it go national?
Is it just me or does the Groom look a little too much like the bride the eyes, the cheeks, the face in general family trees are suppose to branch out…in theory.
Waving back! I’m listening to a extended remix of Heatbreak Beat right now.
That chicken dance is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen on FDL.
Maybe you could live blog
I still love Grace.
I’ll swing by with some frat boys!
It has now. W00t! Glad you got to attend!
I know it’s not nice but I think he looks like a doofus.
;-)
Swing by Gnome’s place!
well MSNBC has some prison crap on right now but maybe someone saw it on CNN?
Sounds promising for Obama tomorrow…! ;-)
Did you guys see Fightin’ Harry Reid on Daily Show? Jesus H Christ. Here are a few quotes:
The Senate is a collegial body. Haven’t got the majority with Lieberman always voting for the war. Mostly we want to get the work done quickly and go home. Nancy and I are wanting to fund the war through the next presidency, b/c we don’t want to do it again in September.
The war costs $5000 per minute.
Will she be throwing a cow pie instead of a bouquet?
Fried cheesedog and tater tots….(Homer Simpson noises)!
Sounds promising for Obama tomorrow…! ;-)
I was astounded.
I hope he takes Indiana. Didn’t they have heavy early voting there?
Aww… Ya had to spoil it for us lefties…! ;-0
That’s what they always say about European
realtyroyalty…you know…that they are marrying people too familiar…too similar…ummm…related…one eye…Arranged marriages…even covertly arranged marriages…inbreeding…it creates a concentration of faults and weakenesses…Good grief..
Hybrid vigor…much healthier…/s
No the pictures Watertiger put up is of the bride and groom. Now then are the Elites of this country all starting to look alike or what.
What being has Bush found immortality in cloning himself to marry his own daughter?
Oh now don’t go spoil the secret…;)
And, what the heck is up with that??? News…fake news…and then prison, prison, incarceration, perverts, etc…
What is that message??????
Was it a mixed crowd or was it a particular demographic…?
Never got to see it until tonite. I’d heard about it from a co-worker from Palatka (FL). She said that the chicken dance is a big thing there on Friday nites. Now I can see why. :- )
Where you been, marymc? Every wedding I have attended sine I move to Louisiana has included one very spirited chicken dance. The open bar might have had something to do with it, but who knows?!
Didn’t they have heavy early voting there?
I think I heard today that the early vote alone has already equaled the entire turnout for the last presidential primary…
Amazing what a turkey baster can do.
oy, that book salon will be a tongue biter :/
Since Mother’s Day is Sunday, does this mean Jenna has a good excuse for not visiting Pickles that day, she’ll be on her honeymoon?
what kind of demographic watches news and prison/predator shows?
Odds on the marriage lasting???
The kind you really don’t want to know.
wow. I wonder who the early voting favored.
without a premature death?
My crowd was a gator group. Plus, I have only been to about five weddings in my entire life. two of them were mine. I don’t get out much. Or my friends are very unpopular. Or I hang with a group of DFH.
I think you’re insulting Jenna. It will be Sotherby’s.
Introducing the spawn….GW53:
http://bucketfoot-al.tripod.co.....CLOPS2.JPG
might be best if she married into another species..
Sorry. You still need to see it. The man’s demeanor is f*cking incredible. A real dynamo, he is. Fancies himself a fighter!
Ha! I still got you beat by one wedding. I find the chicken dance amusing, and had never seen it before till I moved here. I figured it was strictly a local phenomenon, like a second line.
Was it a mixed crowd or was it a particular demographic…?
Absolutely mixed.
SawHeard Stevie Wonder, too. I gave up on the 6 1/2 block line, and just moved up to a spot where I could at least hear. I did see Obama pretty close though when he got out of his SUV and headed inside.Is that KKKarl’s little woman?
The Bush challenge take a picture of Bush and the Groom place them close together and ask the average American what they see I’m betting most of them will look at Bush then look at the Groom and say one is a picture of our President the other is a picture of him when he was in highschool.