"Want some wood?"

That's right, five years ago, the most awesome war EVAH! ended.

So, how'd that work out for everyone?

MATTHEWS: We're proud of our president. Americans love having a guy as president, a guy who has a little swagger, who's physical, who's not a complicated guy like [former President Bill] Clinton or even like [former Democratic presidential candidates Michael] Dukakis or [Walter] Mondale, all those guys, [George] McGovern. They want a guy who's president. Women like a guy who's president. Check it out. The women like this war. I think we like having a hero as our president. It's simple.

Yeah, a frequently AWOL former National Guard pilot is brave a guy's guy - irresistible to women, George McGovern, 35 missions as the pilot of a B-24 in World War II -- just cowardly.

Meanwhile, the news reports indicate that the USS Abraham Lincoln has returned to the Persian Gulf to send the Iranians a message [the message apparently is George Bush is a big "effing douchebag"]. Because after all, the Iranians managed to help put in place the Al-Maliki government we love so much...and how dare they!

Here's what I suggest. Admadinejad zip up the ol' Members Only jacket, hop into a piper cub, call ahead, and land himself on the "The Abe" and give one of his patented rambling speeches declaring victory. Only most painfully, his declaration will be accurate.

Then fly back to Tehren and pretend he's Jimmy Doolittle.

Just like Bush.

Once you explained who Jimmy Doolittle was.