(Senator John Kerry will be here at 8:30 PT/11:30 ET to talk about net neutrality, so please join us — jh)

Paging Richard Curtis to the poor imitation makes for painful irony courtesy phone (via Dana Milbank):

And so it was, perhaps, inevitable, that the beleaguered pair would start off their news conference talking about Winston Churchill and the "Special Relationship."

"I appreciate our special relationship with Britain," Bush said upon taking the podium.

"It’s my profound belief that over many decades no international partnership has served the world better than the special relationship between our two countries," Brown reciprocated, recalling "the darkest days of the Second World War when the strongest transatlantic partnership was forged."

Reporters knew what the two were up to. "Some people would suggest that the special relationship is a little less special than it was," a correspondent with Britain’s ITN pointed out.

"False!" Bush argued before the questioner finished. "We’ve got a great relationship. . . . Our special relationship has been forged in common values . . . And so our relationship is very special . . . There’s just such a uniqueness in the relationship."

Ugh, someone grab my hip waders, would you? If we are going to hearken back to the good ole’ days, could we at least be honest with ourselves on how far we have come from them in terms of leadership? I’ll let Kung Fu Money do the honors:

Maybe it’s just, I cast my eyes back on the last century …

FDR: Oh, I’m sorry, was wiping out our entire Pacific fleet supposed to intimidate us? We have nothing to fear but fear itself, and right now we’re coming to kick your ass with brand new destroyers riveted by waitresses. How’s that going to feel?

CHURCHILL: Yeah, you keep bombing us. We’ll be in the pub, flipping you off. I’m slapping Rolls-Royce engines into untested flying coffins to knock you out of the skies, and then I’m sending angry Welshmen to burn your country from the Rhine to the Polish border.

US. NOW: BE AFRAID!! Oh God, the Brown Bad people could strike any moment! They could strike … NOW!! AHHHH. Okay, how about .. NOW!! AAGAGAHAHAHHAG! Quick, do whatever we tell you, and believe whatever we tell you, or YOU WILL BE KILLED BY BROWN PEOPLE!! PUT DOWN THAT SIPPY CUP!!

… and I’m just a little tired of being on the wrong side of that historical arc.

We can’t get the "war on terror" right because we are too busy fighting "the war to cover George Bush’s sorry ass." Be ashamed. Be very ashamed. I’d say send in the grown-ups, but I’m not sure we have any left…

(YouTube is the Prime Minister "special relationship" scene from Love, Actually.)