2253571039_7e7f2a75fb_m.jpgIt's just not really clear why CNN gives this talentless nutjob, who engages in the nastiest smears imaginable almost on a daily basis, a microphone. Check out this bizarre, rambling essay, "America needs a 12-step program" featured today at CNN.com.

Must. Fisk.

My name is Glenn Beck, and I am a recovering alcoholic.

It took me a lot of years and a lot of pain to be able to say those words and really believe them. Along the way, I was arrogant, greedy and self-destructive.

Was?

Even at the lowest, darkest points of my life, I still thought of myself as that successful guy who everyone loved. I was the life of the party, the guy who could do no wrong -- the guy who everyone else only wished they could be.

Yeah, I've got bad news for ya, Glenn. In addition to being an alcoholic, I'd say you're suffering from pronounced cases of megalomania and narcissism.

I think America can relate...Maybe America should consider starting on the same kind of 12-step program that's helped millions of other addicts who couldn't see that they were slowly killing themselves.

Like Rush Limbaugh.

Step One: Admit we are not powerless.

Take a look at our Constitution.

I have. I'm pretty sure it says Congress has to declare war and that torture is wrong. There's lotsa good stuff in there!

Step Two: Believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.

I think this one pretty much speaks for itself.

Yes, all that ails us is due to the fact that we don't have enough religion. Uh-huh.

Step Three: Decide to take our power back.

A recent polls says 81 percent of Americans now say that our country is on the wrong track. If you're one of those people, who do you blame? The Bush administration?

Yes.

Step Five: Admit our wrongs, and our rights.

We're constantly reminded about America's faults and flaws, but what about our achievements?

So true. If only just celebrated how awesome we are more often, I'm sure gas prices would go down, we'd win in Iraq and Afghanistan, we'd solve the climate crisis, the middle and working classes would rebound and that whole health care thing would just take care of itself. CLAP LOUDER, PEOPLE!!!1!!!

If you want to teach our kids about Vietnam, that's fine, but you better also teach them about World War II.

Oh, I will. And I'll teach them that during World War II we had a Democratic president who mobilized the country, enacted a draft, and with our allies, defeated Germany and Japan in just 3 1/2 years. I'll teach them that instead of borrowing the money to fight the war, he raised taxes -- including a 91% rate on the nation's wealthiest citizens. I'll teach them that he asked the nation to sacrifice, not go shopping. I'll teach them that he told them not to be afraid instead of trying to scare the beejebus out of them. And I'll teach them that Americans didn't torture prisoners and that the Nazis and Japanese did.

That's what I'll teach them.

Step Six: Be ready to remove our defects.

Just like an alcoholic, we simply cannot go from sleeping on the street to perfection overnight. This is a big ship, and it takes a long time to turn it around.

But we have to start somewhere, and the best place is with the defects that almost all of us agree on. For example, does anyone really believe that being addicted to Saudi Arabia's oil is a good idea? What about China owning billions of our debt?

Yes, there are people who think those are good ideas. We call them the "Bush administration" -- the people you've been shilling for for the past 8 years.

Can someone please get this asshat off their air once and for all?