Sitting in this uncomfortable chair in a drafty waiting room at my optometrist’s office, I had a bit of an epiphany this week. Because I have lupus, there is always something to manage. It’s a tricky disease, but my complications are usually swelling and pain in my joint tissue, kind of like arthritis, which hurts…but is manageable. Lately, though, I’ve had problems with my right eye.
So, I called my doctor, because while you never know where your own immune system will attack next…well, you don’t take chances with your sight. Especially not at the risk of not being able to read another book or see the gorgeous leaves as they change in the fall or the colors of the flowers in the early summer.
But back to the epiphany.
I sat there in the waiting room, surrounded by all sorts of people — some older, some younger, one on oxygen, and one elderly couple that sort of propped each other up as they toddled in the door together, holding hands. Everyone had some vision issue, but I was sitting there worried about potential macular degeneration that had cropped up in the discussion over my symptoms that preceded this appointment. So I was drinking in more of the mundane visual details than I’d normally bother to see.
As it turns out, my eye is fine. There is some swelling, but nothing a little extra rest, time, a few warm compresses, and some eye drops won’t mend. But the perspective that I gained there was enormous. And I want to share it with everyone this morning.
Don’t wait.
There are things important to all of us. Things we want to do. Things we want to say. People we love, that we don’t say that to nearly enough. Causes for which our hearts are committed…but our efforts don’t match our enthusiasm. That extra mile that we could go, but don’t. That lingering kiss we could plant…but haven’t. The beauty we miss by not bothering to look, every single day.
The elderly couple that I was talking about? The wife had tears in her eyes as they finished, so I’m guessing they got bad news from the doctor. And as they paused at the door to put on their jackets, I just wanted to help them somehow, but had no idea what to do. He helped her on with her coat, she smoothed down his collar and absentmindedly tucked in his tag at the neck. Then he took her hand, and pulled it through the crook of his arm, and lovingly patted it with his free hand before reaching with it for the door to head out to the parking area.
And then they were gone.
That question of how to help has lingered since then, and so I’m passing this forward: whatever it is that you have been meaning to do — for yourself, for your family, for someone you love, for someone who needs your hand up — don’t wait.
There has been a lot of divisive back and forth the last few weeks, some of it strident and bitter, some just plain angry or stupid or both. But in the end, none of it matters if we do not all sit up and start to realize that we are all — all of us — in this together. Our fate is tied to the ones closest to us, and those closest to them, and so on and so forth across the entirety of our nation and our world. We are all in this together. We have to find a way to get through this together.
If one of us sinks, we all begin to drown. If one of us starves, we all are less because of it. If one of us is beaten or hurt or put down, we feel that loss as though it is our own because a light in this world is diminished as that spirit is dimmed, and we all walk in a little more darkness as a result.
So, reach out to someone today. Listen to your own voice. Take the time to really see the beauty that surrounds you. Really see it. You never know what may be just around the corner for you, and it shouldn’t take a scare like mine to wake you up to the fact that life is how you live it in the now, not what you want to do with it someday. Don’t wait. But do pull up a chair…
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Zed.
Good morning.
Great advice as always.
We are all tied in a network of mutuality.
Good morning Christy. Glad your eye is OK.
Morning all — bless the inventors of coffee. And little plastic Buzz Lightyear toys…which are all over my desk this morning, as The Peanut and I battle the Evil Emporer Zerg with Woody and Buzz Lightyear…one of the the best parts of parenting is playing with the toys. *g*
That’s something that I have missed. I don’t get that opportunity so I guess I play with other kinds of toys but it isn’t as much fun.
Christy, I sent you the Sun. line-up last night.
Felt like the sort of day for thinking about the things that bind us instead of those that divide, eh?
Clearly, you need to go out and get yourself some legos, then. *g*
Morning — how are things with you this morning? You guys have the same grey weather we do? Looks like it’s either going to rain or snow all day here…
I see the one goal we all should have is to alleviate as much suffering as we can. We can’t prevent death, but we should try to make everyone have a pain free life.
Now if you build on that you would never come up with the system we have in this country.
Good Morning,
Good Post and right on target.MY family used to laugh at me because my phone bills were so high. I called them all the time to talk and let them know I cared. Now I have unlimited calling and I have slacked off a bit,, guess I will have to change my ways again.
Take care of yourself and Peanut.
Good Morning, Folks,
Lovely morning here in Vermont. Skies still not leaking, a bit warmer. CHS, you are spot on. The connection with our fellow humans is deep. Too deep for us to feel all the time, but it is the undercurrent of humanity none the less. You are also spot on about the toys :) I am learning to snowboard thanks to my sons, and had the delight of reading Mouse Paint aloud yesterday. Have a lovely day, everyone, and take a moment to breathe :)
one of the the best parts of parenting is playing with the toys. *g*
and the Christmas shopping for them…
Good morning Christy, RevDeb,
Thank you CHS for this beautiful post on an early Saturday am.
I want to share a little thing that they do at my job.
It’s called Meet 5. Each week, each employee is encouraged to “meet” five employees by asking them a series of questions. You can ask anything you want and some people ask the usual questions, but sometimes people have really good ones, like What are you grateful for today.
It’s an interesting excercise and for me it always gets me thinking, yeah, what’s important to me? What do I care about?
all right, I’ll be the first to admit your post made me burst into tears as once again you direct us to what matters most in our lives and our world.
Hallelujah your eye is OK!
“Capture a glance, and make it dance…” Bobby/Black throated wind
Nice post. Very touching. I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes because I can picture the couple’s devotion…
…and I chastise myself for getting caught up in the day to day struggles of life…
Well I was enjoying a jellybean last night and it pulled out a crown from a root canal, and now I have to find a dentist to work on it this am. My insurance changed and the dentist who did the work is no longer around on the network.
And yes, it is gray and quiet right now. They are calling for possible heavy thuderstoms and heavy wind later.
“That question of how to help has lingered since then, and so I’m passing this forward: whatever it is that you have been meaning to do — for yourself, for your family, for someone you love, for someone who needs your hand up — don’t wait.”
“Don’t wait.” This is the bottom line. Because if you do wait, it may turn out to be too late. And you will perhaps have regrets that may stay with you for the rest of your life.
What a cool idea…I love it. Maybe we can do something like that here with another “getting to know you” type post at some point soon. :)
Beautiful post, Christy. A nice one to wake up to. A strong message to all of us. ;-)
Lupus is a son-of-a-gun. Glad to hear your eyesight has been spared.
The old couple you talked about made me think of my parents. I called them yesterday to see if they were getting the tornado-like weather down in Florida (they’re in Fort Myers). My mother said, “Nope, but we’re prepared if it does hit us”. I said back very concerned for their safety, “Mom, where do you run to when a tornado is coming because you don’t have a basement and live in a mobile home park!”. She said, “Honey. I’m safe wherever your father is”. It’s so true! These two during a tornado would lie down and die together. There has been nothing they haven’t been able to handle without each other. Almost 50 years of marriage will do that.
We’re supposed to get severe thunder showers. I love watching lightning but no clear vista in our new house.
I do have cats to play with and I think that leggos would be too much of a temptation for them :-) But I always check out toy stores—thinking of the church kids, of course and what I might find.
Religio—to bind together. That’s the business I’m in so I think about that a lot. Sadly it’s one of the hot buttons here that seems to evoke more antagonism within the ranks than I would like.
We have another glorious Oklahoma morning here. The sun is bright, the skies are blue with a few puffies. We have company from the Lone Star State. Family and a couple of friends. When everyone gets up, and I have fed them, we are going horseback riding.
Thanks for sharing Christy. Glad to hear that your eye is on the mend and the prognosis is good.
I’m in the ‘Don’t Wait Phase’ of my life as well. My young husband (53) was diagnosed with a degenerative brain disease last year. He’s been placed on disability. Our house is filled with friends and family, as we celebrate each day that we are able to share. He’s lost four brothers to this horrific genetic mutation at ages 3, 8, 12, 37. So we have lived our lives backwards for most of our lives, thinking that each day would be our last.
Stand back and embrace the beauty that life continues to offer. It is always the most simple gestures of love and appreciation that give meaning to our lives.
It still doesn’t mean that you can light a fire in your belly and want to kick the GOP and the Bush Administration out of office!
Thank you for the community you have so generously created.
Sincerely,
LizH
Sitting here this morning, listening to a Neil Young CD ( Live At Massey Hall — Howie sent me this one, and I love it.) with The Peanut, and playing with her action figure toys. Too fun…
My kid, after reading a book, often will pull out his legos and announce “Now I’m going to build . . . ” something critical to what he just read. And by “I’m” he generally means “We’re” since his imagination is still a few steps ahead of his engineering abilities. “Daddy, you have to help.”
He and I finished reading “The Hobbit” two days ago, and when he wakes up, he’s going to want to finish building The Lonely Mountain (complete with dragon inside).
Legos rule.
Glad things turned out well for you, Christy!
It’s cool to know that there are other people out there with good ideas.
This thing is not required, but employees who fulfill this and email the answers to the CEO of the company, it was his idea btw, get a higher percent of their quarterly bonus. How’s that for incentive?
It’s a very Green company. Recycle bins and food donation bins everywhere. They supply excellent coffee, but ya gotta bring your own cup.
Liz, what a wretched gift you have been given. It brings out all the great and awful things of life at once. Most of us toss out the phrase, one day at a time somewhat casually. You have to live it. Blessings to you and your husband and thank you for sharing your story with us.
I’m taking my Auntie to church tomorrow morning. Our family, (just the local ones) fills a whole pew and a 1/2. And these pews are long. my family walks the talk. Anyway, good morning. ;0)
((LizH))
Peace to you, your husband, your family, and your friends.
Sounds to me you’re going to have the perfect day, Kiddo! Good for you. You deserve it. ;-)
sounds like a great place to work.
(((((HUGS TO LIZH)))))
When a blogger goes to the optometrist’s office, does the doctor use this?
Re: the kids and cherishing them…I miss those days like you describe…and even while it was happening, I was wishing it would last forever…there’s nothing like watching the wonder in a child’s face at each new discovery.
(((((LizHV & family)))))
Religio—to bind together. That’s the business I’m in so I think about that a lot. Sadly it’s one of the hot buttons here that seems to evoke more antagonism within the ranks than I would like.
The way I see it is this: there are so many people who must have had a terrible experience with the Religio in their life and You, Dear Deb, are living proof that a person can be smart, totally up on politics And be a beacon of light and faith. Drip, drip, drip…baby steps. You never know when you are going to be the inspiration for an Ah Ha moment.
Liz, I’m so sorry to hear that — hugs to you and yours…
Christy!
When MiniRieszette was little we used to play with those little plastic toys. We would make them act out a little play, talking their parts. The good ol’ days.
I bought a big bag of the little figures at a garage sale– we had Little Mermaid characters, and two Catwomen (but she didn’t like Catwoman so we never played with her).
I have to say…I came here this morning not realizing it was going to be an emotional visit to the Lake. Wow! I’m feeling grounded right now…where I should be. Hearing the plight of others always makes you appreciate what you have and gives you the sense again that you’re human and alive.
I’s 5:40 or so, and I have been up for an hour. It’s dark, and drizzly on the West Coast, at least in Portland.
I have that epiphany from time to time, and the bit of Zen Buddhist training I’ve been in seems to recycle it. Helps the photography since it pushes me to see, and to look.
And by looking, I mean everything.
Action figures my ass, they are dolls
I’m very fortunate. I have the opportunity to go to grad school now and pursue a dream that I’ve had for a very long time. It will benefit kids in a educational way, and the business model that I will set up will be based on the work of Professor Yunis.
Every Saturday morning I’m inspired by the people, words, actions and deeds that I read in this thread, and it’s a huge influence on my present plan.
By the way, gang — I suppose it’s as good a time as any to let folks know that I’ll be doing a panel at Take Back America on Tuesday, March 18th — with Rep. John Conyers and Prof. David Cole from Georgetown Law on reining in the Imperial Presidency. Don’t know if anyone reading will be there, but it looks like it will be a great discussion…
Changing insurance is a definite hassle, even when everything’s working fine and you just want to schedule your next checkup. Having to deal with it while you’ve got this hole in your tooth where the crown used to be must be a real joy.
That’s such a fantastic thing for you — let us know how things are going along the way. :)
(((((LizHV & family)))))
(the universe is paying attention)
Me, too. I am the Mauna Loa of unshed tears lately. Christy, thank you. Somehow, I’ve missed the lupus part of your life. Since I’m a frequent flyer to FDL, not sure how. Tunnel vision, maybe — a disorder no opthalmologist can treat. (sigh) So focused on David’s cancer. I come here for posts like this one. Okay, and to mix it up with co-snarkers. *g* So many things need fixing and enjoying and celebrating. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day . . .
Your mailbox must fill up with the most interesting invitations to panel discussions!
And if you mention that panel with Conyers and Cole a couple more times – say, during a weekday morning post or two — a few commenters and lurkers may turn up in your audience.
I REALLY wish I could go but it isn’t going to happen this year.
Do you know if it will be streamed or podcast? Big questions with no easy answers.
I don’t know — in the past, they’ve broadcast some of the panels on C-Span, but I’m not in the loop on how they are going to do that this year. Will let folks know as soon as I hear anything on it…
Peterr
What I said to RevDeb at 35 goes out to you too.
Drip. *g*
Yes it is, and because I haven’t been on this plan for 12 months yet, the major expenses are not covered.
The lesson learned, fight for universal health care and avoid jelly beans. :)
And the books.
No man is an island, entire of itself
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main
if a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were,
as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were
any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind
and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls
it tolls for thee.
– John Donne
Glad you’re going to be there, too. If David’s situation remains stable, I’ll be there. Again. It’s a fantastic place to be when the well is running dry.
I looked up the definition of Religio and the Dictionary said “Combining Form”, which is the meaning I understood it to be. Binding together is a different sort of process.I suppose they are reasonably related.
Anyway, we need less religion and more spirituality. imo, of course.
Mr. Young is a trooper. I’ve been liking this man for 38 years, when he and Crazy Horse were together. And before that; Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. I saw these guys at Altamont.
Yeah, I don’t really talk about it all that much because, really, there isn’t anything to be done but to live through it. Ya know? It just is what it is….but every once in a while, something crops up of broader interest…
Much of the event is taped and available on their web site. http://www.ourfuture.org/
Morning CHS and all aboard,
A blessing and a curse has been losing my mom at when I was 19 and my dad at 40. Top rung of the evolutionary ladder, so to speak. Then you realize time is shorter than you can imagine. Martin Luther Kings riverside speech,when he came out against the Vietnam war catches timing clearly. You are visited a moment in time to take a stand ,then time wooshes by.
My take on this war, which I oppose with every fiber in my body,clearly diminishes us all with every death of even the least of our Iraq brothers and sisters.
Christy,
dedicated to you,
you one of the most beautiful of all.
Christy,
Can you give us an update on your new laptop?
Unfortunately, that’s an item we can’t pick up at a garage sale or the thrift store.
My absolute favorite poem. Wendell Berry’s “Peace of Wild Things.” Seems to fit this thread. http://www.poetryfoundation.or…..?id=171140 I’m thinking of having it tattooed inside my eyelids.
People tend to think of spirituality as a personal thing. Religion has more to do with community. We need more of both but much less fundamentalism. The great religions are great because they do both for the sake of a greater good. The Robertsons, Hagees, Falwells, etc. have perverted religion for the sake of their own power. Most of the problems with religion today have more to do with the reality that people are not living out what the faith tradition teaches, they twist it to feed their own power and control needs.
But I’m a liberal. What do I know?
There is a part of us that sees but does not judge, the “I”. That is the god head, and the I can be approached through meditation or simply alone in the wilderness.
Unfortunately, that frightens most people. But the wilderness is neither good nor bad. It simply is, as the “I”.
That is also Religio.
Thanks I will, and I want to say that I had no idea that I would end of up pursuing this plan when I left the corporate world 2 years ago. I knew something had to change with what I was doing with my work, and my life.
By taking positive action, possibilities present themselves that you would never imagine. Focus on the benefits, face down the fear and have faith.
I heard an interesting piece on NPR this week about the B’hai Faith. They were teaching children. They said all religions are like lamp shades, they all look different, but they all hold God’s light. (something like that.)
Christy,
You are an amazing leader of a truly exceptional group of people. Ya’ll always have valuable insights into what’s really important.
Mr. Redd is a very lucky man…lingering kiss. Rowwrr.
T-
A beautiful post this morning, Christy. I find it deeply moving and directly applicable to my own experience. I attest to the truth in all you say & ask all to take the wisdom of CHS to heart.
Oh crap…that reminds me. My paypal password is at work and I’m at home. Hope Monday isn’t too late.
Heya — I ended up getting a desktop, because it comes with a bigger screen, which is important to reduce some eye strain for me. And we got enough to defray most of the cost — which is wonderful. You guys really are the best.
Normally, we save up so that we can pay cash for whatever we buy (we did that with the big screen teevee purchase for Mr. ReddHedd last year, for example). The laptop shocking expisode was one of those out-of-the-blue things — I’d only had the laptop for a year, and even though I use it a lot, never expected it to shock the hell out of my hand plugged into a grounded outlet. They think it’s a problem with a port on the side of it, and it may or may not be fixable…but I’ve got a desktop and can save up for another laptop purchase in the future if it can’t be fixed. I’m usually writing at home, so this is much easier for me over the long run. Thanks for asking — meant to put up a thank you to everyone, but it’s been so insanely busy the last few days, I forgot!
Where are the non white women in that incredible presentation?
It’s an interesting group. I used to love to go out and look at their temple and gardens north of Chi. on the lakefront. A great place to meditate. It didn’t grab me enough to make me want to walk that path, but I can see it’s allure.
Thanks, Christy, for reaching out and sharing your story. I love your weekend conversations, whether the news is good or bad. Though I wish you only good news.
I was really surprised about that shock, Christy, as the power supplies inside the laptops I know do not exceed 12 volts. You have some sort of ground loop to the AC mains, it would seem.
and today is International Womens Day
http://www.internationalwomensday.com/
I once read a quote along those lines by the leader of the B’hai Faith, to the effect that “there is only one God, therefore there is only one religion”. That is what I believe, that all religions worship the same God, they just call her by different names.
A lot of people take the view that different religions worship different gods, as if there are all these different gods out there and only one of them is the Big Cahuna.
Have a nice day everyone. I have to tear myself away from here and, you know, do stuff.
Woo Hoo. Sounds like you made the Right Decision.
Funny thing, one of the questions I was asked at work was how many tv’s did I have in my house? The funny part is, there are four of us here, only two tv’s, but, we have 6 computers. One for each of us, but, the mister’s job is is software tech/support, so he has a desktop and two laps.
And, when asked what my favorite show is, I say anything on C-Span. They all think I’m pretty weird.
They are correct.
12v can deliver very nasty shocks.
Since I got up so early, I am still somewhat drowsy, so instead of coffee, I’ll go back to bed for a bit.
Cheerio!
ometimes all we can do is smile, hold a door, or say hello. Simple stuff……Glad your eses are OK.
Ya’ know that old trees just grow stronger,
And old rivers grow wilder ev’ry day.
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, “Hello in there, hello.”
J. Prine
sometimes….eyes…..typing…..bad
I’ve never been shocked by 12V, but if you have, better stay away!
Yeah, the tech guy with whom I spoke about it was really surprised, too. We cleared out what he thought might be residual static build-up, and the computer still wouldn’t work. Apparently, there is a very, very rare occasion when the ports on the side can get mis-wired somehow and, alas, the laptop I had seems to be one of those rare exceptions.
It’s the one I got really quickly right before the Libby trial, so I’ve had it barely a year. Shouldn’t be having a problem like this so soon, I shouldn’t think. But it was a cheapie purchase on the fly…would not have been exactly what I would have ordered had I had lots of time to research — but my other three year old laptop had completely crashed, and I didn’t have time to be choosy — since Jane had just had her surgery, and it was my week to cover the opening of the trial and we didn’t have other options on a laptop at that point.
Computers are the ultimate consumer folly. We disparately need them but they are obsolete in 6 months and need to be replaced or the software updated. We are as addicted to PCs as we are to cell phones, gas and TV.
The capitalists are winning!
First of all, apologies to all the fine and very ethical physicians who comment here at FDL.
FWIW, I always have serious concerns about physicians when they say, “nothing is wrong.” They get paid the same whether they find something or not. They also do the charting, so the records will show that nothing was wrong.
That doesn’t mean nothing is wrong. It means that if you come back in two months, the physician’s records will claim the symptoms weren’t there in the visit you referenced in your post.
Physicians, even specialists, are huge generalists.
The only way they get paid is to see more patients. In the case of unscrupulous physicians, they don’t do testing if it isn’t profitable to their practice.
Lead-test mandate isn’t met
Blood screening is required for all children who qualify for Medicaid, yet many at-risk kids in Wisconsin are going without
In this example, the physician (who TEACHES at the state Medical school) claims he’s concerned about the pain to the children. As anyone familiar with childhood diabetes is concerned, heel sticks really diminish the pain to the child. The physician in the link doesn’t mention heel sticks, because imo, he just doesn’t wanna do the Federal mandated test, because it’s unprofitable for his practice.
When it comes down to something like lead poisoning, we (society) want to be sure. Kids with lead poisoning always grow up to be severely disabled adults who absorb tax dollars instead of paying them. The reason for the federal mandate is that from a public health perspective, early assessment is key. Also, if physicians don’t order the tests, there’s no incentive for medical suppliers to develop less expensive tests.
I always encourage friends to use the physician as a bridge to understanding their own symptoms. Then use the web to find the real experts. What really are their symptoms? What tests do those symptoms suggest? Once a diagnosis is made, and the patient buys it, what are the treatment options. Often, a Ph.D. who specializes in an area will have much broader knowledge about a certain set of symptoms, than a physician, who is seeing patients all day. Also it’s great to talk to people on the web about what their experiences have been. In this scenario, the physician becomes a counterweight to phony web sites that offer false hope. Good physicians appreciate their patients really getting involved in the nitty gritty of their case. It makes them better physicians.
Reddhedd, in addition to great affection, I have great respect for you. IMHO, you wouldn’t go to the trouble to schedule an appointment, unless something was really wrong.
I’m not in the threads as much as I used to be and this is the first time I learned about the lupus. Condolences and prayers to you.
Preach it, sister. (Tomorrow’s my turn, so I have stuff to do too.)
And,
Blessed assurance, Dusting is mine.
Christy did you get an Mac or a Windows?
Christy,
This is the most beautiful post of yours I’ve read.
I want to talk for a moment about last Saturday. As many of you know, there was a benefit concert for my son Esten, who was diagnosed with leukemia in late 2006. (He’s been in remission for over a year, and the odds of a complete recovery is over 90%). The concert was an incredible success–musically, emotionally and financially. It started at 2pm and ended after midnight. By five o’clock I felt like I was actually emitting light, the sense of community in the room was so profound. This is what I wrote about it:
It was a poignant day too. One band member told me his mom had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Another said his mother passed from it two years ago. Another band member’s nephew has leukemia.
What I treasure about this experience is how I’ve been sensitized. I’ve been made more aware of what’s going on around me; more willing to participate in community, and my own life. What I saw on Saturday is the very best of what people are capable of, and am honored, and amazed.
Esten turns five on the 12th of next month. It’s a beautiful morning here, after two days of rain. After I post this, I’ll take the kids past the daffodils’ bobbing heads and into the car, and up to the market for something to eat. I’ll open the car windows, to admit all the warmth.
I’ve always loved FDL most because it is community. Though my visits are sporadic, I’ve always felt like I belong.
You can plug your laptop into a monitor, keyboard and mouse when you’re at your desk and you would still have the option of taking your laptop with you, in case you wanted to liveblog a trial or something.
I won’t bring up any trials going on right now for you to liveblog. :-)
I got an iMac — first Mac machine I’ve had since we first got married (when we had one of those little all-in-one boxy unit ones fifteen years ago — still can’t believe it’s been 15 years, seems like it’s gone by in an instant…). Jane talked me into it. I got a bigger screen, so I can make the text windows and font a bit larger to see it with less eye strain.
tommy yum!! Glad to see ya here again. And doubly glad to hear that Esten is doing well!
Tommy — Thanks so much for the update on Esten. Hugs to you and the kids — and lots and lots of smiles and laughter for the day ahead. :)
This song has helped me through the dark days…
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cJmghwq7k2I
It’s a catchy tune but the lyrics are very powerful. The meaning of this song will be different for each person who listens to it.
LizH @22
The key words to your post “Our house is filled with friends and family”
Best wishes to you and your family. I have been here since Christmas Day 2005 mostly as a lurker and sometimes commenter. This is my favorite site and the community is awesome.
My mom passed away at 86 last April. Going through her things I found a lot of sayings that were important to her. In keeping with Christy’s theme today.
Kindness
“I shall pass through this world but once.
If, therefore, there be any kindness I can show,
or any good thing I can do, let me do it now;
let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall
not pass this way again.”
–Grellet
Have moved on from Neil Young to some Stevie Wonder this morning…padron me while The Peanut and I do a little dancing. *G*
I don’t have a cell phone, so they haven’t won all the way yet. *g*
Smart move. Congrats!
Glad your eye is going to be better.
Thank you for your message. Compassionate thoughts seem hard to find these days. Thanks for the compassion of your words to nudge us all along to do better, to do those “right things” which linger in our hearts.
Aside:
Enjoy your new iMac. Somehow, I knew Jane had to be a Mac person!
Tommy Yum:
You belong…Thanks for belonging to us! We’ll ad Esten to our prayer list here at Klynn’s…and the band too…
I have one, always lose it, rarely turn it on and when I give a biz card I find people always use the cell phone. I hate those things!
Good morning Christy, morning dawgs -
It’s gray and rainy here today, but I’m going out to walk anyway. Thanks for the good thoughts, Christy. First Julie’s post from last night and then this one from you, It’s very emotional.
Here’s what’s been catching my eye this morning.
Question from TechnoDolt: What’s the learning curve to shift from PC to Mac? Every time I think about doing this, I freeze in the headlights. Are PC-generated documents transferable to Mac. (Please be gentle with me; it’s my first time, serious-Mac-thinkingwise.)
I’m either at work or at home and both places have phones. My work doesn’t require one and if I were to have car problems, I’ll just use someone elses. I guess I’m teh lucky.
FWIW, I’ve heard the Mac is mouse driven. If you like using keyboard shortcuts, Mac isn’t so good.
I think that MAC is quite intuitive, but it depends on what you do with the computer. If you do wen surfing it won’t matter much at all. Once you are in a browser it’s all the same.
It’s all the programs which may have a different feel and functionality. MS word and Excel are the same for example.
Macs are virus free and that’s a plus ain’t it?
There are programs such as Quick Keys which allow you to create “macros” or keystroke commands for PC or MAC.
For example I never type my name address and so forth, I use a “macro – two keys pressed together, the date and so forth.
Whatever commands you use frequently CAN be “automated” with macros in PC or MAC.
Plenty of keyboard shortcuts on the Mac. There may even be more than windoze due to the fact that Macs used to have one button mouses (mice? mices?).
Inspiring words, Christy! We are all ennobled by those who inspire. Your “don’t wait” message was part of what prodded me to start my wee blog a while back. Juggling sustaining that with real life becomes daunting sometimes.
And because our family endures the challenges of severe chronic illness your circumstance with lupus resonates.
And I’d add to “don’t wait” one other urging: “don’t sit on the sidelines of life.” There’s way too much going on that needs our participation. Whether it’s trying to weave a tapestry of seemingly disparate elements in our blogwriting or commenting, or making action calls, or stopping by a campaign office to volunteer, or like this week’s Person of the Week on ABC, organizing your own foundation to fight your rare disease, or…when you rev up your Snowmaster, movin’ it beyond your own property line to clear the sidewalk for your neighbors. So many ways to pay it forward. Don’t wait.
Prairie Today: Power of One…and Many
Thanks twolf1.
IIRC, emptywheel just switched to a MAC, and I think that was her comment. Perhaps it was that the keyboard shortcuts were different?
I’m no fan of
what Gates stole from XeroxWindows.Oh, it’s not tough at all to switch from Mac to PC.
If you get one of the new Macs, you can even run Boot Camp on it and actually run Windows XP on your Mac. My tech friends tell me it runs faster on a Mac than it does on a PC! (That way you don’t have to buy new programs, which is always the killer when you change platforms.)
Otherwise, if you’re using it as a Mac, be sure you get a two-button mouse, because then you can use right-button functions you’ll miss like crazy if you don’t. Remember that the two control keys — Control and Alt on the PC, Command and curly-whatever-it-is on the Mac — are analogous, but reversed. So if you’re used to Command-C for copy, you have to learn to use the curly-C (next to the space bar) to copy something. I go back and forth constantly from platform to platform all day long, so I’ve gotten used to this little Bill Gates gotcha.
And to Christy — thanks for sharing your epiphany. Love is the only thing that really matters after all, isn’t it?
christy – don’t know if i was especially open to hearing your message today… or maybe this really is your best post ever.
wow. thank you.
Let’s here it for Tommy Yum! And Esten!
[clapclapclapclap]
Aw, thanks selise. This has been welling up for a while, but I couldn’t quite come up with the vehicle to say it properly until now. Funny how something just clicks sometimes, isn’t it?
Propaganda from the Apple site: How to switch to Mac
Stevie Wonder, I Wish…how much fun am I having re-loading all my music for my iPod mix because it got eaten with the laptop crash? All that organization that I meant to do can be done from scratch…sometimes, the silver linings are awfully fun, aren’t they?
(((tommy yum and esten)))
tommy! just wanted to tell you that ever since you posted the info on esten’s care page (over a year ago?), i have read every update immediately and hold you both in my thoughts.
… i had the pleasure and honor to meet tommy once while down in CT
A touching and wonderful piece Christy. Thanks
I love that poem…thanks for the reminder.
oops… sorry early accidental “submit”
… i had the pleasure and honor to meet tommy once while down in CT and he was the most warm, gracious and humble person – kissing the women’s hands in greeting and kind and interested in talking with friend and stranger.
My fave MLK quote (which, as I recall, is a quote of someone else, whose name I’m blanking on at the moment) comes from that speech: “A time comes when silence is betrayal.” Amen…
Well, I’d like to think that he thinks so. *g* You are cracking me up this morning…
Thanks, all you Macsters. See barbara curl toes over edge of diving board as she peers down into the pool where everyone seems to be having a wonderful time. *g*
Glad you enjoyed it — it’s one of those “a ha!” moments that begged to be shared, ya know?
i’m not going to read any comments before i say, just beautiful, Christy. that’s all there is to it.
we go through so much of our lives as though we’re never going to die
and no one we know or love isn’t either, and, of course, it’s really not that way ……
Gosh, it is good to read through a civil and thoughtful thread.
Hey — good to see you — haven’t seen you in a while. :)
(((Christy))) (((Barbara))) (((LizH))) (((Tommy and Esten))) and all of those of us who walk the survivor’s path ourselves or with our most dear.
Our epiphanies define us.
My sister’s an optometrist who did her residency in geriatric eye medicine. Your posting touches me in so many ways this morning, Christy.
Seeing the first swashes of yellow peeking thru the goldfinches’ winter coats this morning…and the scarlet head of the pileated woodpecker. There are feeders to replenish….
Thanks much — how are things with you?
Yes, you’re correct:
Frontline theologian: Robert McAfee Brown – 1920-2001 – Brief Article – Obituary
Oh, ((( Prairie ))), thank you. I know you understand. The human condition ramps up big time when we pause to see we’re really not alone in this living thing. Seems so obvious in the light of day. Harder when it’s dark.
Pileated Woodpecker? Lucky duck. I have seen a pair twice in my backyard over the course of 5 years. I sure wish they would find a suitable home back there. They are my most favorite bird. Anyone know about their migration and/or nesting habits?
TBogg…he’s killin’ me this morning. (Warning: Put down all liquids. Now.)
1,780 DAYZ AND THE KIILN’ GOEZ ON AND ON AND…
Citizen Hardin Smith and the Firepup Freedom Fighters:
Great post Sister Hardin Smith, jest the kinda thought charge we need on this Saturday mornin’ on the edge of history. Another pause to reflect on what is important and why we do what we do and where we want history to take us.
I work in a very busy hospital in a growing outer ring, upper-middle class suburb. I see couples like the one you describe everyday, holding on to one another, clinging to the last shred of dignity Medicare has left them. I feel the agony from the eyes of middle-class children as they stand by the beds of their dyin’ parents, wonderin’ what is right and how they’re gunna pay for it without givin’ away their parents’ legacy to the grandchildren. And yes, I even see young mothers, sufferin’ from lupus battlin’ to hold on to enough of their health long enough to keep the job that will enable their young children to go ta college.
Thanks for the reminder dear…God bless you.
KEEP THE FAITH AND PASS THE AMMUNITION THERE ARE MILLIONS OF REASONS TO KEEP FIGHTIN’!!!
well, it’s a marvelous feeling to be in such company. that’s all i can say in response. in CT i was in a room of patriots. the goodwill was palpable.
Hey Barbara, a friend taught me how to do the mac in a single morning. When my PC crashed yet again during an important project I took my friends’ advice and went for the mac. No turning back, it’s amazingly easy and free of the trouble that I just thought everybody had with their computers.
And yes it is possible to transfer documents from PC to mac. People on the lake can walk you thru it if you like.
Do not know what happened. Tried to post a quote. It just went away…Odd…
Hmmmm…have you cleared out your cache lately (if you are on a PC)? I’ve had that happen before with comments that get eaten somehow…clearing it out seems to help. FWIW…
I haven’t seen the leaves change in a few years and I miss it.
I’m a Mac person. Never had this happen before. Hmmm…
It was a neat quote too.
I have tears in my eyes. And how totally right on the mark. Today of all days, this is your topic.
Today was a big day for my older son. The last four years, and probably for the last 20 years, have been very hard times for him. As the oldest he took it the hardest during my divorce and it showed up throughout the rest of his life. After his wife died in a car crash, and his kids wanted to live with her parents, and not him, he was forced to start his life all over. After a bout with drinking, today he is succesfully work, getting his license back, and he sees the future again.
And I told him I believed in him. I told him that having a clear vision of the future for when times get tough again, and they will, is the best way to keep moving ahead. I told him I loved him, and hoped that now he could stop repeating the mistakes of his father and I and move forward as his own man.
Those are things I often think about, but often am too embarassed to say. Today I said them. Whether he finds all his answers this time, or next time, remains to be seen. He turns 40 in 3 weeks. A good time to start anew. It took me a bit longer than 40 to figure it out. [sigh]
Thanks Christy for the reminder of saying, and doing, what is in our hearts to do and say.
Barbara @101 – interesting, we were just having that conversation last night, because Mr. L had looked at the Mac Air at the university bookstore. I got a bonus check at work last week that would allow me to go buy one, and I’m having to struggle to be good, keep the money in savings, and remember that my four year old laptop works just fine, I don’t NEED a MacAir. Really. We’re poor college students, with him going back to school after a layoff. I don’t NEED it. See how I have to keep repeating it? Cuz that little white box, it CALLS to me!
But we’ve decided we won’t buy another Windows box in this house- it will be Apple or Linux from here on out.
CHS – lovely post. Glad it was nothing serious, and thank you, for everything you do through the pain that can be managed but not cured, to keep us connected and involved here.
David has lived in this house for 30+ years. Had his/our first pileated sighting a week or so ago, at one of our suet feeders. Amazing! Thus downies, hairies and now the Big Guy. No sign of his mate, so maybe he’s a bachelor.
Christy your post is so beautiful. I’ll be thinking about it all day. Thank you.
Great post Christy! Greetings firedogs… now that we’re talkin’ tech, I’m thinking of going wireless in a house with macs and pcs. I’m leaning toward Airport Exteme. Any advice?
You herart alot about how 40 is the nbew this or that…. But it’s great that he’s able to start anew. He’s got alot ahead of him and I think anyone who reflects on it will tell you that when you have to start anew, what used to be dark days become “valuable experience.”
Well, see, I don’t NEED a Mac either. (sigh) But when I see what others can do with that technology, I feel like the little match girl. Oh, yeah, right. I cried because I only had a PC and a laptop, and then I met a man who . . .
Hugs, hon — that took a lot of courage and love, and I hope that your wisdom sinks in for the long haul.
Glad you liked it. :)
An excellent post Christy in so many ways. I don’t know how many words it is, but it says so much. That’s great writing.
Hey, Tom(my yum), a close friend always keeps me posted on your doings. He’s tubadude from SoCal, & a great guy who’s now working as a music director in Upland CA. Upland’s got a lot of great old houses, terrific underground scene, & a superb small venues there & in the surrounding area, when you can locate them ;-).
All the best to you & yours.
CNN reporting on their Financial Security Watch about the increasing purchase of US properties by foreign investors.
And a what kind of world is it where Martha Stewart and today Marian Jones go to prison while the Scooters and Karls tapdance free and get feted by their friends. For shame.
tommy -
Have been wondering how the concert went…delighted to hear it was an overwhelming success! Snail mailed a check sometime around 29 Feb; hope it has arrived by now.
You know, when I did some investigation on computers after mine crapped out, the one consistent complaint that I kept reading about MacAir is that its internet connection is not the greatest — something with the design, at least in the first generation ones. No idea if that’s been resolved, but it made me leery about getting one. Check out the reviews on CNet, among other places, to see what you think before you spend the money. I’d heard from a couple of people who had gotten them and then took them back to exchange for the other laptop model for the connectivity reason — bloggers having a sort of need to be online a lot and all, it’s not a good thing to deal with when you are travelling…
Christy,
I think the site has a comment “preview” function and my post is “caught” in some preview. I just tried to post the quoted letter again and got a “duplicate comment” note pop up in the response box…
Hi Christy,
Normally I wouldn’t intrude this kind of information, but you said to reach out, so here goes . . .
I know nothing about your health situation or background, but you might want to do some reading on gluten intolerance. The first 5 or 6 hits on Google should give you a good start. It mirrors a lot of diseases, including lupus and various other nasties, and sometimes, sometimes the solution is a change of diet.
Anyway, go visit Mr. Google, see if there’s anything useful. We want you healthy and happy.
Interesting. I read your comment to Mr. L, he said the one he was on at the university was having issues, the sales guy said it was the connection, not the machine. That is a metal box, and wireless is radio waves. Hard to believe they didn’t get that right, but good to know.
I want, but I’m not buying unless Zoe (current laptop) dies, because want doesn’t mean need. Or so I keep telling myself.
This is why so many of us enjoy starting our days with you. Inspiration can be a powerful tool. Maybe the most powerful of all. Years ago I decided to never wear a watch again. I refuse to be a slave to the clock. The “time” that I spent with my kids while they grew and now the same “time” I spend with my grandkids have made me far more wealthier than so many of my friends who became slaves to the clock in order to have money and whatever that brings. But not a one has made enough money to add even one minute to their own clock and the one thing they all seem to agree on is if they had to do it all over again they would spend a little more time with their kids. We all have lost someone special in our lives, some more than others, but we all can agree if we could have just one more moment what would we be willing to pay. Take that moment now, don’t wait to wonder and get rid of that clock. LOL Christy and thanks.
Heya — thanks. Yeah, I’ve tried an elimination diet and that’s not it — but I appreciate the thought, nonetheless. I have a friend who has that issue — she has celiac — and it does mimic some of the same symptoms.
mr. barbara needs breakfast. Given that his cancer has generated esophageal spasms (nasty buggers!), this is a bit tricky. Yikes! As Bette Midler famously stated in “Beaches”: But enough about me, what do YOU think about me? *g* Toodles, pups.
Can I report some late-breaking family news….My sister’s Old English Sheepdog is beginning to give birth to her litter. There are at least 5 pups. Will give an update later.
Clear your browser cache and reload the page. That ought to take care of it.
Enjoy the woodpeckers, and hope ya’ll enjoy breakfast.
Well, if the post ever shows up, let me put it in context. The letter was written to my niece and her parents for her birthday because her past year had quite a challenge. She lost a baby brother at birth (just two weeks after we almost lost our baby). It’s hard to say “Happy Birthday” to a five year old after that…Somehow the words found me…
That was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.
Thanks for sharing.
((((((christie)))))
i have a disease thingy, too, and yeah, you just make the best of it…….as my mom says, when the times come that are difficult, you will know how to handle it, don’t worry about it, that is not living.
i was brought up to realize that every single person walking around on earth has things they are handling, or not……..and to be compassionate. cuz you never know what’s going on in their lives. when i see/hear someone being shitty, i immediately wonder-what kinda pain are they going through? just a reflex.
when i see couples like the one you described, i just smile at them like i would if they were my family. cuz they are in a way.
Totally wizard! I’m an OES person having been owned by two of them. You’re gonna have me nailed to every thread today. Had to have my last one put to sleep in January of last year and there’s still a bit of sunshine missing from every day. One of the dog shows recently showed a segment of a husband and wife who breed them and the sight of half dozen of the sweethearts romping around nearly tore my heart out.
Christy, I am a firm believer in the cumulative effect of words. Whether a person ‘gets’ it the first time or the 10th, those words are embedded in our brains and will come back to us when needed. They just need to be said enough times to reinforce the feelings. Best words spoken to me during a very black time in my life was “I love you, pass it on.” I didn’t get it then, but I do now. Love is a gift to be shared with others. You can’t return it, and when it is given freely without strings, it is a gift beyond measure.
My motto has been 1) remember the past, 2) be brutally honest about the past, 3) learn from the past, 4) forgive yourself past bad deeds, 5) but NEVER live in the past and always move forward towards your dream, and 6) tell people you love that you do indeed love them.
O.K., that’s a bit long for a ‘motto’ that could he put on a t-shirt, but I have it printed on a sign over my desk.
In a real sense we can’t feel each other’s pain. If we are honest, we say “there but for the grace of God go I”, glad that trouble missed us this time. You are right. Our system produces, rather than reduces, pain. I happen to believe Utopia, a classless society, is essential to our survival. Capitalism is not only cruel, it is self destructive as some strive to see themselves as different without realizing they are crazy. Their hope of proving themselves different is a delusion. No matter how great their success, they are going to die, just like the rest of us.
Christy, truly sorry about the lupus as is everyone. The problem is we cannot see our difficulties as systemic. It gets too vast. As Stalin purportedly said, “One death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.”
Beautiful post Christy. That old couple reminded me of the Love my wife and I have shared for 24 years.
OT
Folks who followed the early Dean campaign will remember a poster called “Soylent Dean.” (”Their Campaign, it’s made out of people!”)
Well Demetrius has done it again…
How cute! How many pups are expected? When my pair of cockatiels had a clutch, we were surprised only one egg hatched out of seven. Nonetheless, watching the baby push her way out of the shell (Mom helped at the end) was something to see!
Enjoy your birth moment. ;-)
Good Morning Kiddo!
Thanks for the beautiful morning word-picture to enjoy. We’re having a beautiful but rather treacherous spate of blizzard-like nastiness that started yesterday and just won’t quit. Looking fwd to spring.
Jealous? Oh yeah! Wish we could join you on your ride. *g*
Give our best to Lahoma and the rest of your crew. You’re special.
Whoa — suddenly, it’s pouring the snow down outside. It was just pouring rain a few minutes ago…guess I’d better get my rear end in gear and refill the bird feeders before the cardinal comes to chastise me this morning!
This post reminded me of Jose Saramago’s Nobel-winning novel Blindness. There’s a scene near the beginning in just such an opthamologist’s waiting room, and it ends up being the scene in which all the main characters’ lives become inextricably intertwined. I highly recommend it – but if you haven’t time to read a novel, don’t worry. I hear it’s going to be a movie this summer.
What a great post. Over about the last year and a half, I have lost a mother, sister, and a very good friend. An experience that certainly gives a new perspective to the sense of time. You have created a lovely morning for us. I am sorry for the lupus; I had no idea. I also have a chronic illness that keeps me very aware of limits, esp. to avoid stress and fatigue.
Re: The imperial President: Did you see Bill Moyers last night? It may be online. He had 2 guests talking about McCain. Much of the content is how devoted he is to the power of the Presidency in the expanded way, like Bush/Cheney, let alone that he is highly militaristic is his foreign policy. The lead-in/set up was about his connection to Rev. Hagee in San Antonio. It was a very convincing piece for anyone thinking about sitting out the elction if your favorite Dem. is not the nominee.
The vet said at least 5 pups. So, the number will be a surprise. Heading over to there. Will let you all know later.
This is a lovely post. I am fortunate to have neighbors friends and family that all share this point of view. It is a good way to live.
Here in NYC we had one moderate snowstorm for the whole winter, and really on a few days that were actually bitter cold. It’s sad, really because most folks enjoy the warm weather without seeing the danger of only having three seasons.
I’m on a weird schedule of flu and sleeping only in two hours bursts. Sorry to be late to the lake. But I’m quite interested in what you are going to be doing with the Yunus model. I’m making my students write about microcredit and kiva this semester. It is a composition class, but they need some content, so I create it. It turns out that I have a student whose very wealthy parent is quite involved in donating large sums to Grameen.
We ran out of seed yesterday and now there is 15 inches of snow on the ground. A level three emergency so we cannot even go out and get more…We are “hearing it” from our birds…We’ve been shoveling snow every 6 inches. It could end up more than 15 inches…
Oh wow — I’ve never heard of that one, but I’ll definitely look for it now. Thanks so much for the reading suggestion — sounds like a fascinating character study read…
Well I found a dentist, and she suggested Polident to hold the crown in place until I get there on Tuesday. I even get to place it back into place. She suggested a practice round before I apply the Poliden since it only goes in one way. I’ll take her advice on that.
You what they say measure twice, cut one.
Odd that awareness of ones pending death would be a key to a happy, successful life.
.
Capitalism is very predatory. It creates lots of pain. We tend to ignore the idea that competition creates MOSTLY losers and lots of pain and a few winners with lots of joy.
Until we face the fact that capitalism is hurting us, democracy will never have a chance. Democracy is not compatible with free market capitalism. If you severely control and regulate the economy, perhaps it is, but we are very far from that “type” of capitalism.
Money and wealth rule.
christie at 172–
yeah, it started here yesterday, in athens, a mess, they closed roads because of wrecks……then overnight, ice crystals/rain, i could hear it outside during the night, and loud thunder! but it was ice crystals! was the strangest thing, i got up to look on the deck to see what the heck it was…….then this morning, ice crystals and snow again….the mixture is like sand in texture…i was out playing with it a while ago……very weird texture.
i can see the highway-us 50/32 through a peek -through through the trees in the distance down the hill, and traffic is still moving slowly…….not much traffic at all for a saturday…….not much traffic here except on saturday mornings and when people are going to/from work.
there was an advisory to stay off the roads, but they must have lifted it.
is a mess here.
Hi Christy.
Our version of this week’s storms had a nasty ice component.
Do be careful out there.
I had the flu last week so I hope you feel better.
If you’d like to drop me a line at my username on fdl at mac dot com, I can go into some more detail.
Good Morning everyone…. didn’t read the comments but the military saying that a unit is only as strong as the weakest member coupled with never leave anyone behind always reflected such liberal concepts……
Howie had a great You Tube up over at C&L, Late Night Music Club with Natalie Merchant, “Which Side Are you On?”. This classic union song was written by Florence Reece in 1931 while mine owners were terrorizing coal workers in “bloody Harlan County.”
It is worth a watch and listen.
Gosh, my years of living have shown me it’s not the detours of life that’s extraordinary, it’s whether I’ve embraced the opportunity and recognized at each sign a new road to love, spiritual growth, humility, and strength.
You gotta learn to laugh, it’s the way to true love.
Philosopy aside, Alison Krauss sweet voice sings of a “simple love” that calms my heart and makes me smile alot.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Os8E_k8FwCY
Her rendition of James Taylor’s Carolina on my mind is so lovely.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qn8tixOYiZ0
OT – Don’t forget tonight’s time change!
I was just over at the WP reading about who is going to take the blame for the tanking economy. During my tirade to the children on what idiot could be in doubt as to why it is all Bill Clinton’s fault. It’s all and always his fault and soon enough it will be Hillary’s and it never has and never will be the ***** Chimpsters fault. Anyway I woke up and realized that in actuality it is really ALL my fault. I stupidly analyzes the situation in 2000, determined the there was no difference between Al and asshole so I voted foe the libertarian whose name I don’t even remember. I am so very sorry. Thanks for the uplift Christy but I just don’t see how I will ever be able to make amends.
Billy Bragg has a great rendition of that one, too. I had no idea it came out of the Harlan County story.
That was reeealy good!
Very lovely, even though the images are all western & non-diverse. Still very nice to look at. Thanx for posting. May I suggest one to add to the CG montage:
Kateri Tekakwitha- the Lily of the Mohawks
hi folks…*G*…*g*
Will this panel be televised? and what time/C-Span ?
The economy is tanking because it a ponzi scheme and they have run out of suckers at the bottom and the guys at the top are ripping it off big time.
Can someone explain to me why a mortgage broker is paid tens of thousands of dollars to “sell” a loan?
Christie, wonderful post, moving and so in tune with what I’ve lived through in the last few years.
Last summer, I lost my 86 year old dad from cancer. I had been taking care of him after he took care of me because of a bad ankle accident I had in 2002. His last three years saw him go from a vibrant open person, to a secluded wise buddha. His mind and hearing were things of the past. I was taking him to all those doctor appointments, driving him to one bad news after another. Through all that, he was so grateful I was there, that i was taking care of him. All I could do was stand besides him, as I could feel him leave slowly. Spent his last night with him, he was in a hospital facility for terminal cancer victims. His last night was extremely bad for him, he fought like hell, until he finally told me he was hurting. Yup, that kind of a man. At that point, I told the nurse it was time to knock him out. I held on to his hand as he went into a drug laden sleep. I knew the decision I had taken was going to take him away from his wife of 60 years, my sis and bro. It was what had to be done. I left in the morning, kissing his forehead. He had twelve more hours to breathe… Now, i take care of his wife, my wonderful mom, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You are right, a helping hand changes your life for the better. I so miss my dad.
Phoenix Woman has a new post up and waiting for us upstairs.
Fabulous — this is going to many viewers. Thanks Elliott! I had a voice mail message from my doctor this week, after months of struggle: “you are cured.” Christy, I’m paying attention to your advice.
It was a riveting piece of television, IMO! I thought one of the most telling lines was when they pointed out that both McCain’s Father & Gfather were 4 star Admirals. As the son of professional military man I immediately grasped the implications of that. I also realized how he got to be a Naval Aviator despite being fifth from the bottom of his class at Canoe U. It’s a virtual impossibility, they are the most sought after slots, followed by submarine service, last but least is generally Surface Line Officers. Marines are a special case, as those guys want to be a Marine, period.
Christy – Thank you again for everything you do, not the least of which is to be the consistently reasonable voice out there. We ARE all in this together. We do need to keep our eyes on the goal.
At the same time, I am reminded of my dad, who threw a clot into his renal artery in 2002 and spent the next two(his last two) years of his life on dialysis. At the time when he threw the clot, he knew what his prospects were and his comment to me was, “The only thing I regret is that I never went flyfishing in Montana.” None of us ever knew that this was something he’d wanted to do his entire life. Being a Depression era kid, it was also something that to him was this frivolous dream, so it was a “someday” thing which never happened. After that, I made a list of things that I’ve always wanted to do and I have been slowly working my way through them. So far, I’ve only gotten as far as ‘take fiddle lessons’ but I am getting there.
Thanks, And I had understood that he was not a terribly successful aviator. Not sure, of course. But that slant gives a different view, I think, of his inevitable introduction as “war hero”. Not to be disrespectful, I do think some of the material makes one wonder how much “there” there is there.
Hi Christy,
I’m adding my thoughts and send all hopes that every day is better and better.
We had an experience in December that showed us in a hurry who our friends were, and who they weren’t. The dust is still settling. At the same time, there is nothing more important than those that remain. It’s possible to have every financial blessing, but if you don’t have someone who answers a “I need your help” phone call with “you can count on us”, the material doesn’t mean much.
On the flip side, even in the midst of a gray, overcast Pacific Northwest winter morning, I’m struck with the realization that I can see it. I’m inside. I’m warm, fed, and things look good for the rest of the day.
-S
Hi Christie,
Just want to thank you for the way you inspire us all. My father-in-law had lupus for many years so I have glimpses of what you must handle each day. He was a journalism professor and kept a busy schedule for a long time despite the illness.
Hugs to the Peanut – I have become good at building and action toys with my son, and it makes me glad to have a boy as I was never into girly dolls and things.
Tommy Yum – glad the fundraiser for Esten was a success. We are in Chapel Hill but our Saturday was taken up with Chinese class and things. And the sun today is special – our solar panels are connected to the grid so we are producing power for the electric cooperative. It is a very happy feeling!
Christy, sorry to hear about your lupus. Lupus is an awful disease. I have participated in fundraising work (walkathons) for a lupus advocacy group called the Alliance for Lupus Research (www.lupusresearch.org). They are working hard to get lupus research the attention that it deserves. About 1.5 million Americans have lupus; the disease affect 9 times as many women as men and African American, Asian and Latino women are 3 times more likely to get it than caucasians. I’ve always felt that research into the disease (which my close friend died from) was neglected because the populations who are most vulnerable to it are so underserved.
Like Type I diabetes and multiple sclerosis, lupus is an autoimmune disease. The mortality from these three diseases is rougly similar, the disability associated with them is roughly similar and the number of people with the disorders is rougly similar. Despite this, the US government spent $435 million on diabetes research; $98 million on multiple sclerosis research and only $84 million on lupus research, last year. The disparities aren’t fair, but they are real. Most of the money for research is allocated through a federal agency called the National Institutes of Health. During the 1990’s funding for NIH doubled. Under President Bush, funding for NIH has declined three years in a row.
About 5 years ago, the Komen Breast Cancer Foundation realized that breast cancer funding through NIH would be stagnant for several years so they lobbied to create a biomedical research funding program through the one agency that did increase during the Bush presidency, the Department of Defense. This program has now expanded and supports research into breast cancer, ovarian cancer and prostate cancer. I hesitate to mention it, because if you say anything at all nice about Senator Clinton on this site, Obama supporters verbally slit your throat, but last year Senator Clinton and a member of the NY House delegation, Nita Lowey introduced a bill to include lupus in the DOD research funding program.
My friend who had lupus had flare after flare, but it wasn’t the lupus that killed her, it was the side effects of all the prednisone she took to keep the flares at bay.
My one plea to all of the Clinton supporters who hate Obama and all of the Obama supporters who hate Clinton, both have good health care plans (getting health insurance is almost impossible if you have lupus) and both will dramatically increase funding for medical research. A President McCain won’t do either; he will follow Bush’s strategy of cutting domestic spending. It may feel good to some to argue about who is purer on Iraq or who is a nastier campaigner, but to people with real problems, any democrat (even the ones you can’t stand) will be better than any republican.
Good luck with the lupus Christy! God bless you.
Christy,
Bless you and your insights. I am so proud of my Sprout for his little act of kindness last week.
We’d been to the store to get drinks for his birthday party (OMG he’s 9 already!)and as we turned onto our street there were 5 workers painting the bridge we drive across daily, near where we see the bunnies and deer lying panting in the shade together in the summer. It was warmer than usual and he said “They look thirsty. Can we give them some drinks?” So we turned around and my shy boy took the cans out of the car and handed them out.
The men smiled and thanked him and when he got back into the car he said “That felt good.” He is starting down the path of random acts of kindness and I couldn’t be happier.
That is a totally joyous story. Thanks for letting us know. Nothing like seeing that you have a “good kid.” Here’s to the future. Thanks
I know Utopia sounds preposterous, human nature being what it is, but that’s exactly my theory. Negative perceptions of human nature (the collective image) motivate hierarchy. Utopia gets by with as few jobs as possible, the opposite of capitalism. It seeks to conserve and eliminate obsolescence rather than promote waste. Waste makes work and, under capitalism, we need jobs however they come about. Utopia promotes a psychology of abundance rather than of a scarcity intended to maintain the value of things. Cooperation is a far more powerful developer of technology than competition. Just look at the problem with HD television formats. I could go on but I’m sure you don’t want me to.
If you see us in thrall of compulsive behavior, like a drug addict, you understand that all we need to do to change our collective behavior is change our minds.
A few more Women In Art images that are a bit more diverse, for that great CG morph/montage Elliott posted:
Frida Kahlo
Women in Hats
Vietnamese Woman w/Baby
Cindy Sherman
This is a beautiful thread. Thanks to all for sharing.