Could it be because women are mentally inferior, as proved by men’s greater ability to mentally rotate three-dimensional objects in space? Unless it’s a cute little puppy, that is, or maybe a cookie.
(…)
Who’s really the dim bulb, the woman who doesn’t see the beauty of "Grand Theft Auto," or the man who thinks Tom Clancy is a great writer?
For Allen, it’s definitely the woman: her brain is just too puny. She cannot mentally rotate three-dimensional objects in space — and that, as we all know, is the very definition of smarts….
…Now the sexists diss women as inferior mental-object-rotators. I have no idea whether this is true… but you have to admit this is a very narrow scrap of turf on which to plant the flag of manly superiority.
Now, I could be mistaken because my own verbal skills are so underdeveloped, but it seems to me that Ms. Pollitt is not taking the importance of 3D mental-object-rotating skills very seriously at all. Might I remind her that almost everything in the universe is three-dimensional? If you can’t visualize 3D objects rotating through space, how can you ever hope to assert control over your surroundings? And isn’t asserting control over your surroundings what leadership is all about?
Other people are three-dimensional. Other countries and their leaders (most of whom are people, plus a few evil robots) are three-dimensional. Terrorists (also sometimes people), bombs, and blowtorches are all three-dimensional. Even money is three-dimensional if you look closely enough.
A person who cannot picture all of these things rotating through space with the utmost crystal clarity is manifestly unfit to be president of this great nation of ours. How can they anticipate the outcomes of their actions in three-dimensional Euclidean space? How can they formulate a plan to rotate our troops home when they can’t even picture it???
Granted, focusing solely on the ability to visualize 3D objects moving around is a narrow way to gauge fitness for office. But men have other unique and valuable aptitudes as well. For example, how can a president bond with foreign rulers from many different cultures without speaking the universal language of fart jokes? Sure, it can be done, but it requires, like, diplomacy and shit, and who has time for that?
In fact, I attribute President Bush’s near-unbroken string of foreign policy successes to his unparalleled mastery of the fart joke. One pull of his finger and world leaders (evil robots excepted) are putty in his hands. (Yes, I am assuming that all non-evil-robot world leaders are male – what kind of insane country of madmen would accept a ruler without elite spacial manipulation skills?)
So, to sum up: We totally need a guy president. If we do not have superior 3D object manipulation skills – and possibly some ninjas – in the Oval Office, the terrorists and evil robots will have won.
Related posts:
- Douthat: No More Breadlines for White Guys
- Sarah Palin Thinks Being President Would Be Awesome Because Ass-Kicking “Department of Law” Would Protect Her from Lawsuits
- Sunday Late Night: Other Guys’ Wieners
- National Review: GOP Should Block Health Care Reform Because Most Americans Think Our Health Care System is Awesome
- The Consumer Financial Protection Agency: A Small Victory for the Good Guys





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zed
you funny, Eli!
Eli!
Thanks, Coastie! I was worried it might have sailed right past “funny” and landed in “demented”.
CTut!
Without the capability of ascertaining three dimensional objects in space how can we avoid thrown poo?
Teh very important skill in the world of opposable thumbkind!
BTW, in answering ya from downstairs, I’d like RESTORE, PAA, ad nauseum… lapse back to the ‘95 FISA revision…! *g*
nope! you’re good… my first thought was, “that Eli – he’s teh funny!”
Another excellent point, and a compelling argument for why the Democrats *must* nominate a male candidate for the general election.
Well, thank you. I’m sure it must be due to my superior 3D visualization skills, uh, somehow.
But, Charlotte is one dimensional, how do ya expect her to comprehend two more…! ;-)
I prefer teh Escher objects.
Huh, I am teh stupid, is the puppy thing a reference to teh manly troop guy that threw the puppy over the cliff? And, don’t ferriners fart all the time and cause teh global warmin’.
Why, men themselves are three-dimensional! QED.
Except for the evil robots. Although if there are any gas-powered ones, they would have emissions of their own. I assume most of them run on electric or nuclear, though.
Aren’t there special glasses for 3-D visualizing?
Couldn’t Hillary’s campaign just buy a pair?
Men are from Mars, women are from Flatland.
(Damn! I wish I had thought of that before I titled the post…)
nah – if evil robots were gas powered, we’d see ‘em down at the Mobil station… gotta be nuklear…
Off Topic, but here’s another big win for free speech here in America:
http://www.citizen-times.com/a…..1/80306150
Apparently the courts decided the founding fathers may have had more in mind than a nation of unobstructed sidewalks.
have you ever seen a woman solve a rubik’s cube?
I thought not…
Bill Moyer is nailing McSame on Hagee’s insanity…the footage of Hagee is almost impossible to watch…McSame accepting his endorsement is nothing short of desperate, hypocritical, and quite frankly despicable. The really, really important element, is the element of horrifying cultism of the Hageeites. Jeebus…
Goddess, save us from this shizzola.
Or maybe, “All your 3D visualizations are belong to us”…
They have won, Bin Laden couldn’t have been blessed with any finer recruitment tool than Shrub, and the Evil Bots have taken over…! ;-)
Nuclear farts…hmmm…worse than silent but deadly?
Pootonium.
I’m having deja view all over again, i think it may be a re-run. Although just as scary as the first time.
Then again, my bottle of Weller is three dimensional also.
707
No, but here’s a kid. A boy.
Both my daughters can and do…! 8-P
Definitely not; I’m sure I would have thrown myself at her immediately.
I betcha McSame farts and moves away and blames the Dems.
I would, uh, like to retract my previous comment.
You’re such a cheap date.
The final proof of the superiority of males, white males to be specific, lies right in front of our eyes.
Behold, the crown of creation!
http://www.iaingrant.com/media…..-idiot.jpg
I’ve heard of them thar flatlanders.
Gawd, Bill Moyers rox.
Hey, it’s BYOC.
gag
Ol’ W.L. and his brothers seemed to have me seeing into the fifth and even eighth dimension a lot of times.
See, right there, Bush is visualizing every single component of the federal government rotating around in space at the same time. It’s hard. It’s hard work.
He blames the dog.
Bad Barney!
Nailing McSame….hee, hee. Most militant, interventionist candidate…
Ooh No! Doughy Pantload is on Larry King! I’ve another 2-3 hours before NOW and Moyers… 8-(
Prost!
*snort*
I’d wonder if Shrub could rotate 3d objects in his head, but I think the only objects he can rotate (in or out of his head) are beer bottles.
Heh, my eldest is a grab ass seeking a Pysch degree…! *g*
LOL…the dawg just farted…uh, huh.
Speaking of smelly, I think the cabbage is ready. Back in a bit (or bite)…
IhaveagirlfriendIhaveagirlfriendIhaveagirlfriend…
I got something he can rotate on. (Well, maybe I don’t, but he can rotate anyway)
Once in college we calculated there had to be at least seven dimensions if you include space, time, place for my shoes etc. I’m sure we were all perfectly sober at the time.
Anybody get that McCain is “submissive” to W? He is no
“Maverick”…..Pllleeeaasse.
Honey I’m home…. how is everyone?
I’m about to cook cauliflower…./s
Personally, if I didn’t have bad feet, I’d be in shoe debt.
When it smells like farts, it’s done.
I was always intrigued by Douglas Adams’ idea that the fifth dimension was probability. I’m not sure he was serious (it was a Hitchhiker’s Guide book, after all), but I liked the idea of all these alternate universes separated by chance.
Heh, wrong persuasion, my better half and I have to wait for our middle’un to produce grandkids… A mild setback in my wife’s long term plans…! *g*
OFG
chirality uber ovaries!
[ducks]
I smell Barney, I think the cabbage is ready. I’ll be right back after dinner.
My mother’s given up on me.
Adams rocks. I like to think he’s only one dimension away, laughing at us.
I’m very leery of these popular myths about men’s and women’s abilities.
visualize whirled peas
someone had to say it
Brrr… That’s cold…! 8-)
I hope so. What a shame that was.
i expect that silliness from women
/s
Well, just grandkidwise. And she’s probably right.
I brought his books in the ‘must open first’ boxes.
404 – not ready yet.
I am with these guys..
Grateful Dead-Man Smart, Woman Smarter (youtube)
You had “must open first” boxes? I just opened all of them and then used the top layer to decide whether I wanted to keep going…
Yep… was it the wine or did someone pull a post?
CT, it’ll just be our secret….
I can’t keep up, I’m doing laundry tonight!
Moyer has it right:
Recipe for Disaster. Blames Newt.
I just thought that “spring forward” had come 2 days early. :)
All good wines arrive in time….
The post is now in the 6th dimension, along with your missing socks.
That makes sense to me!
But Arizona doesn’t do daylight savings….. years ago…. I was told that Arizona doesn’t need more sunshine…. just my Teevee programs switch around AND my work calendar.
women can visualize posts in 6 dimensions
Actually it was my missing gloves that I swore were in my overcoat pocket before I few to NYC but were found on my bedroom floor…
Annoying and has nothing to do with now.
Why do the objects have to rotate? Isn’t it good enough to imagine them just standing still? I mean, if you sit there and imagine various things rotating, like, say, a horse or a refrigerator or a shoe, it really seems kind of pointless & even silly. But that’s just me.
A week without KO…. days without FDL… or the toobz…. how the heck is everyone?
Foreign policy AND fart jokes can only mean one thing: “I fart in your general direction . . .“
It is a pain when you have to figure the new hours ahead people are when you have to call them.
cojones
it’s all about the cojones
Adams laughing at us — Conservation of matter and energy, why wouldn’t there be some kind of conservation of spirit/mind in some form?
Apparently, Doc… I did get a few more comments in before RBG pulled the plug…! *g*
Did someone fix Rocky Mountain Oysters for dinner?
Now that is a set of Cojones…! ;-)
See, math is taught all wrong. If they had explained this 3-D stuff as a rotating Louboutin pump, I would have grasped it in a flash.
yes, but they all have girl cooties.
guys’ dimensions don’t have cooties (unless needed for Dungeons and Dragons)
Lots of misandry around here.
Not to mention Nominalism.
Y’all sound stoned!
Speaking of D&D – tonight and tomorrow night is “GaryCon” – you’re supposed to play D&D in memory of Gary’s passing.
Speaking of which…
Now those Louboutin pumps are some serious equations, even without rotating them.
Girls are also very useful when playing Munchkin.
Heh, nor do we, we keep chugging along in ‘Hawaiian time’… ;-)
Nobody ever talks about multi-tasking. While rotating 3 dimensional objects in space, can you also make sure that the baby doesn’t put a dime up his nose? (But I do admire people who can back up a boat trailer.)
This one is more on topic.
I hadn’t heard about his death. Somewhere on a bookshelf, I’ve got these three old paperback rulebooks, and in a drawer are some funny dice that my six year old thinks are very odd . . .
RIP, Gary.
I don’t know if physicists have picked up on this yet but if you go through old music compilations on DVD you can sometimes see the 5th Dimension.
I met Gary once, unexpectedly, in the basement of a gaming store in Madison. He was looking for play testers for his ‘latest’ game. Unfortunately, we didn’t have time, but it would’ve been great having him as a GM once in my life.
It was a real crappy week on Tuesday. Favre retires (and my kids never got to see him play in person, we were hoping to take them this year to see him), Gary dies, and the mess of the (whatever they are calling it) Tuesday voting.
And this one is *always* on topic.
Arizona has an official time zone in Microsoft, does that count?
I don’t get it.
;)
Girls are very useful when playing any number of things ;)
Hey
I linked to that a couple nights ago
ding!
I only played briefly, in summer camp – I got invited into the game because overhearing the scenario sent me into problem-solving overdrive.
(”How about using a water-evaporation spell on the giant lobster’s eyeballs to blind it?”)
Eli, have you checked the most recent edition of The Art of Manliness for how to do man hugs?
Time out to read Freddie and the Bean Home News to the little one.
Interestingly, I’ve taken two separate spatial tests, twice by the ASVAB, and, once as a civil service test administered by the State! I aced’em all, 20 out of 20(ASVAB), and, 40-40 on the civil service test…!
Egads, I hope our current DM doesn’t read that comment!
Eli, thank you.
Awesome.
hope the little one and you have fun in Marshall….
LOL!
From kos (catching up on past stuff)
So you think they will change the sign at the canyon that states the canyon is only 6 million years old (fundie infusion of crap)?
where did everyone go?
perhaps they are learning how to write a love letter like a soldier or how to shave like grandpa?
I’m here – strange things happening tonight.
I’m here!
But something weird just happened. I saw a notification of a new post, and then it was gone.
Either that, or they’ve all become completely wrapped up in the rotating 3D world inside their heads.
I saw that late night a while ago…. it is 10:20pm in NYC and it is 8:20 pm here in AZ…. Lordy I hate trying to deal with time zones…
Elmore and I are trying to plan another trip to Greece…. we have a strong desire to get the hell out of the USA for a while…
Just catching my breath, you all comment so fast. *g*
They’re thinking how weird it is that one rotation followed by a different rotation (possibly about a different axis) is equivalent to a single rotation.
night all, my wife just got home, time to catch up!
It is?
Hey, I’ll be right back…
Fundies believe the world began 6 million years ago? I thought it was much closer to the birth of JC…
somewhere in my folder of Grand Canyon pictures I have one of the south rim sign that states the canyon was formed 6 million years ago….. called my Dad who is a Wildlife Biologist and he just laughed himself silly
I’m sure it was only 4,000 and a few months. They give a little leeway on the months part.
Sorry, that was me. I set the time for my Late Night post wrong.
how would I know… don’t know what time zone I should be on…
I guess the world probably began whenever their preacher tells ‘em it did. No discussion. No science.
i would blame the time change, julia
No prob. You were probably thinking about the group of rotations of Euclidean 3-space.
I posted this analysis of the new Survey USA Electoral Poll Estimate downstairs. I thought it might be interesting (to start an argument) or to pass on to a Superdelegate who might want a good reason for saving the Democratic Party and getting more progressives elected.
Obama is according to this Survey USA Poll of all 50 US States with Electoral Votes Assessments the hands-down BETTER candidate against McCain.
In fact, he’s sort of the prototype for John Deans “50-State Strategy”!
Clinton takes only solidly blue states, and even not all of those. She’s definitely even a tepid version of John Kerry, electorally.
Both Obama and Clinton easily take the following States- California, Connecticut, Illinois (though Obama kills McCain there), Maryland, Massachusetts, New York, Ohio (both by 10%), Rhode Island, and Vermont.
McCain definitely wins Alabama, Arizona, Georgia, Idaho, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Utah, and Wyoming.
Michigan, Pennsylvania and New Jersey are battle grounds for either Democratic candidate against McCain. Both candidates are in statistical ties with McCain in those States. Both Democrats trail McCain by 6% in Missouri.
The clear only advantage that Clinton has over Obama is that she takes Arkansas. She also wins Florida, whereas McCain would compete there in an Obama campaign. She also makes a race of it in Tennessee and West Virginia. But Obama would definitely lose in those states. So those are the Clinton advantages and possible pluses.
Now the down side vs. Obama.
Obama wins Colorado (50-41%)- Clinton loses it to McCain(48-42%).
Obama wins Iowa (50-41%); McCain probably wins that vs. Hillary 46%-41%.
Obama would likely win in Nevada, but Hillary loses by 8% there.
Obama possibly wins North Dakota, but Hillary trails there by 19%!
Obama wins by 8% in Oregon, Hillary trails McCain there by 5%.
In addition there are several states where Obama easily wins where McCain presses Clinton. Delaware would be a safe win for Obama, but is within statistical error for a Clinton-McCain showdown.
In Hawaii, Obama clobbers McCain…it’s within 4% for McCain vs. Hillary.
Obama wins Maine easily…it’s a race between Clinton and McCain.
Minnesota is safely Obama but within 4 points when Hillary is his opponent.
New Mexico has Obama 50% -43%. Hillary is tied with McCain.
In Washington, Obama wins by 14%- Clinton trails McCain by 2% (so it’s a fight).
Nevada leans Obama (46%-41%)…but Hillary loses it by 8%.
The same is true of New Hampshire (Obama 46%-McCain 44%) – Hillary would lose it by 8%.
Obama leads McCain in North Dakota 46%-42%…HRC would lose there by 19%.
Then there are the states where Obama makes a battleground state, but Clinton is non-competitive.
States like Alaska (43%-48%…Hillary trails by 22% there);
Nebraska (45%-42%…where HRC trails McCain by 17%);
and both North and South Carolina. Obama is within the statistical 2-3%…while Clinton is about 7% behind.
In Texas Obama is in a statistical dead-heat with McCain…Clinton tails behind by 7%.
Obama is tied with McCain in Virginia…Hillary would lose there by 10%.
Or even Indiana (50%-41% Obama vs. a 17% differential for Clinton). I’d rather be a Indiana Democratic Congressman with Obama at the head of the ticket than the former first lady being blown out.
All of this is without considering the enthusiasm brought forth in turnout by Obama supporters, as well as antagonism against Hillary that might stimulate right wing Republicans to come out and vote.
If I were an official with the Democratic Party I’d look at these numbers and immediately throw my vote for Obama and get ready for the big race in November. The down-ticket candidates have little to gain from the coattails of a Clinton candidacy, while even many erstwhile Red States may have increasing splotches of blue and maroon with Obama at the top of the ticket.
it least it was not the words men hate to hear – beige, i think i’ll paint the ceiling beige…
It is a great post, Julia! *g*
my gender is more genderable!
boyz RULE
(linky to follow)
LOL!
I think I’ll stay away from that.
BTW, folks this is disheartening…
Typically the “Young Earth” Cretinists say the earth was created about 6000 years ago…based upon counting years in the geneaologies of the King James Bible. Some of the more liberal ones will tack on another 4000 years.
These are the folks whom some fundy member of the Bush Administration belongs to. He ordered the Parks Service to allow a Cretinist guidebook in the Grand Canyon bookstore saying the Canyon emerged about the time of the imaginary “Great Flood” about 4500 years ago.
But there are other types of Creatinists who accept a more “figurative” translation of Scripture that will allow millions of years. They’re just a little fundamentalist…they pick and choose.
Couldn’t be. I’m a girl, remember?
Well, y’all have to keep your pretty little heads occupied while you’re looking at it.
I just used posters – changed ‘em every season or so…
Along with the pretty ones (well, uh, after they’d
dump melose their discernment..)BOYS RULE
gotta linky – gee, the offical number of wounded is slightly less than HALF the real number. who wudda thunk they wudda done that? (/s)
well, you know, whoever has to stare at it…
I had to come back to share this. Seems girls are good at other stuff too – how to make chainmail from pop can tabs.
Stigletz would be a great person on the Book Salon. Non?
New monitor please.
Whoa– that one left a mark. :-)
The Three Trillion Dollar War
FDL Book Salon on March 23..)
hahahahaha
Yes’m, it didn’t register at the bottom…
http://www.editorandpublisher……1003721852
Ukulele Anarchy.
Why the hell not?
Coooooool!
Heh, Another Nobelist gracing the Lake…! *g*
thanks ct (spitting) forkers.
from the link:
Heh, the Uke is a revered art form, similar to Pete Seeger’s five string Banjo…!
Looks to me like what the well dressed mother of the bride might have worn, back in the day.
You know, before that other dress was invented.
No place like the Lake, eh? *g*
Isn’t it? I love this blog. Ordered the book an hour ago.
And I owe CT at least a six pack of Cokes by now.
spew.. great idea – i’ll send it off to the bride with another note informing her that it is not tie dye but advising the weight gain from drinking all the contents of the cans would make me slosh a wee bit when being escorted to my seat.
I think I owe numerous six packs to numerous others here at the Lake…! 8-)
Oh darn! I can only drive by the Blue Flamers’ club tonight to mention that Stephen Colbert had an awesome tribute to International Women’s Day. I fell down laughing given the “columns” running in WaPoo.
have fun and open the windows…
It could be a great bridal shower activity, too. “Let’s all help make my mom’s dress . . .”
And this will take you into the preposted, heavily anticipated, multi-dimensional late night unpost…
It’s like music.
Ya got yer major stuff.
Yer minor stuff.
It’s all good.
Then ya got yer demented chords.
And yer demolished chords.
And at SOME point the diminished value kicks in.
Eli, you know yer music. *G*
I wonder why Dana Priest hasn’t done a follow up on the injured soldiers story and their treatment. Why has this story disappeared? (I know WaPo has a link, but nothing new??)
we could get a collection going to help save my waistline while creating the dress
http://allyourbase.planettribes.gamespy.com/
*G*
Demented and diminished, that’s my wheelhouse.
If it was Diet Coke pop tops… Beware tho…
Or the Firepups could just mail you the tabs.
So we can have a get Suzanne and Katymine back into shape (lordy feeling sorry for yourself can add the lbs!)
I think they prefer to be called prgrssvs now.
Well, turns out Robert Hamilton is the only dem running against Issa. (I’m his volunteer coordinator) In the past, Issa has funded a dem to run against him, only to have him drop out in the general election.
hey larue, you going to the utah phillips benefit in felton monday that the pig is putting on?
Pete and Woody! Cool, WDD!
Cry me a river, miss I just got back from Manhattan. *s*
the phantom post is officially up now, I think…
Suzanne,
You won’t believe this, but there is a matching chain mail purse for sale in our museum store!!! It is there to accompany the armor show — it would be perfect with your dress.
1) Wimmen’s is too busy to futz with cubsim less it’s art.
2) Wimmen’s Is Smarter. I heard it in a Bobby Weir song.
THAT’S RIGHT! In EVERY way.
*G*
Distinguished gallery in here tonite.
Back to the subject at hand…that three-D thing could be why guys are so obsessed on big…pairs of three-dimensional objects.
hahahahah this will require planning over several posts… julia’s is upstairs now so i’m heading up there
Eli,
Great post, I was too late to comment (what a great crowd here, such snark!).
Chris
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/i…..AA240_.jpg
Teh First Crown Of Creation.
N Teh Onliest.
*G*
Thanks, Christine!
Geebuz, you folks are EASY tonite.
THESE are teh onliest Flatlanders:
http://www.newwestrecords.com/theflatlanders.php
Jimmy Dale Gilmore rules. Sweah!!!! *G*
Is she better than that? That girlfriend?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r7X3f2gFz4
She is the best of all possible girlfriends.
*G*
I found one that would keep me, in ‘84.
I’m a Lucky Larue (walkin down the streets with my hands in my pocket John Prine).
*G*
We is all lucky, I guess . . lol
That’s BOUND to make the dog fart!!!!
Put some jalapeno smoked cheddar cheese with cilantro over it.
Covers up the stench.
The Cauliflower.
Not the dog.
Seen the new brocliflower? Green cauliflower . . . good though. I’ve used it.
Gotta get yer fiber.
Mr. Taggert?
Tough country. Gonna need yer fiber. Gotta eat yer fiber.
(cut to fart scene)
Greatest.
Single.
Comment.
Evah.
Evah.
Opus The Penguin would be pooty proud of ya hoss. *G*
NO! A certain reality, we all lived with. As Boomin Boomers!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RU_s1WzpP-Y
I got two words for all you young pups, who think they know it all.
Marilyn McCoo.
GOD I forget all about her . . . rowr. *G*
One Last Bell. *G*
She owns the planet at that time in life. *G*
Heh. Thanks, dude. I try.
One last musical note, on the 5th.
Part sangin. They do it. Like in blue and new grass.
The harmony’s are so good, and I HATED pop music in them dayz.
Now, I listen to what, 7 people on stage? All sangin?
And I think about my grass, and the 4 parts or maybe 5 at times.
And I KNOW just enuff about the music now, to know what that means to break them parts out . . . and then I see this clip, and wow, 7 folks sangin parts, and doubling up to make it work.
Them 5th Demented Folks, they had it goin on, vocal wise.
Damn I wisht I had liked them more then. . . oh well, now is better n never!
Uh, what was the thread? Sorry Eli . . . my bad. ;-)
Don’t worry about it, dude. They’ve all gone home.
I wonder which gender is better at visualizing fifth-dimensional objects…
Damn merlot, only 5 in the 5th! What 7?!?!?!?!
Guess I’m deeper into it than I knew!!!
LAST BELL!!! *G*
Hillary Clinton today praised John McCain’s ability to visualize the rotation of three-dimensional objects in space, and said that she was confident that she could do it as well. However, she insisted that Barack Obama was, at most, capable of giving speeches about 3-D geometry, and thus had not risen to the level of commander-in-chief.
It’s so late I almost missed this. Just fits with the great joke do not have depth perception: Really can’t tell it ’cause it takes a hand gesture.
Addition: I left out the part about “women don’t have depth perception.”