Ah, while we spend our time fretting about when the nomination fight will end, John McCain gets to spend the time shoring up his base, the press corps.

Wearing a pair of jeans and a sweat shirt with a family photo printed on it, McCain pointed out a hawk's nest on the property he's owned for 24 years, and explained how his bone-down slow-cook grilling technique virtually eliminates the fat from his ribs. (Several reporters, skeptical by trade, remained unconvinced.) McCain's springer spaniel, Sam, hovered near the tong-wielding senator, gnawing on a rib McCain had taken off the grill. McCain's friend Sen. Lindsay Graham also gnawed on a rib, albeit with more delicacy.

Is "tong-wielding" a metaphor?

But the theme of the manly straight talking man does not come cheap, it requires at least $300 worth of Costco's best ribs and some top-notch 64oz kegs of Kirkland Barbecue Sauce (don't tell th press it's the house brand). And they repay in kind, for McCain's acreage in the land midwesterners go to die, is near Sedona. And you know what that means...

There is something surprising -- perhaps even metaphysically provocative -- about the notion of Mr. Straight Talk in such close proximity to what may be the nation's highest proportion of crystal-wielding psychics. McCain comes across as a what-you-see-is-what-you-get guy, not terribly given to brooding or introspective meditation. He is superstitious, sure, keeping a lucky penny in his pocket, but it's hard to imagine him buying a "manifestation pyramid" at Sedona's Crystal Castle, or going in to get his chakras cleared.

Ah yes, the dirty f***ing hippies. The poor maverick having to cook ribs (over propane!) within a few miles of the folks the press corps goes out of its way to call the Democratic base.

No questions about the tanking economy; nothing about the collapsing dollar; nor any questions about Iran's Casual Friday Stylin' Leader was in Iraq laying a McCainesque hug on al Maliki, in a highly publicized, long-announced visit (let's see Bush or the Maverick do that) while taking business contracts away from reliable Republican donors. No questions about how much McCain solicited John Hagge's support for a barbecue...in hell.

No just good times, good ribs, good beer and soulful embraces.

How quaint. It almost makes eternal war worth waging, as long as the ribs keep coming.

Meanwhile, here's a John McCain site for the rest of us.