Even with Obama's surprise Hulk Hogan endorsement, Democrats are woefully behind in the celebrity tough guy endorsement race (unsurprisingly, icons of manliness whose opponents are hired to lose to them on camera seem to be breaking for the Republicans).

The state of play so far:

Senator McCain, who recently held highly-publicized hearings on the scourge of performance-enhancing drugs in baseball, has scored Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, making him the preferred candidate of the performance-enhancing drug user aging action heroes.

Schwarzenegger, who says he stopped using them when they became illegal, currently says he has no regrets about substituting chemistry for effort with his personal advancement on the line.

Stallone apparently has no regrets either, since he was convicted in Australia last year of illegally importing human growth hormone and testosterone, a decision he defends by explaining that he's too old to look good without drugs, and besides (I am totally not making this up) "Where do you think I am going to get this stuff in Burma?"

Governor Huckabee, the man who's going to let Jesus rule America, is the other big winner in the (ripped) arms race, as the candidate of:

Chuck Norris, a guy who has children by three women, one of them a one-night stand he met while his wife sat home with the kids (in fairness, that was before his current wife was born). According to his book, the blessed event took place in a car.

Ric Flair, wrestler: three wives (he traded up just last year. There were allegations of domestic violence in his last divorce)

and the name to conjure with, Ted Nugent

That's right, the Nuge, the gun-toting hairboy who soiled himself to stay out of the army, has endorsed Huckabee (something to do with hunting), which makes America's wouldbe pastor the chosen candidate of the man who wrote the immortal words

Wang Dang Sweet Poontang

Wang dang, what a sweet poontang,
a shakin' my thang as a rang-a-dang-dang in the bell.

She's so sweet when she yanks on my meat.
Down on the street you know she can't be beat. What the hell.

Wang Dang Sweet Poontang

Still in play as of this writing:

Tom Selleck (as well as fake smart guys Dennis Miller and Kelsey Grammer) formerly Giuliani supporters

Bruce Willis, Thompson