boschPictured: The Right Blogosphere discusses Race in America

So. If you really want to find the strangest crap being spewed about the role played by race in the Democratic primaries (I hear that Obama fellow is black!), to whom do you turn? Elite Media Pundits, or Greater Wingnuttia?

Case in point, this… something… by Dick Meyer, Editorial Director of CBS Online.

Sen. Obama is a Rorschach test. I see hope! I see brains! I see a whole new kind of politician! I see an amazing life story! I see an orator! I see a natural! I see a hero!

Well, real people aren’t Rorschach tests. They aren’t blank slates. And by January 2008, Senator Blank Slate, D-Ill., will be a messy chalkboard. He may well be a fabulous chalkboard with cool stuff all over it. But more likely, he’ll be pretty much like an American politician, though perhaps one who is a great guy, with a big brain and a powerful voice….

Bite me.

No, that’s all I have to say about that. Bite me. And send me the name of whoever signs your paycheck, so I know to make fart noises at them if I ever meet them in public.

Yes, Obama is a politician. Well-spotted. However, he is not entirely a "blank slate" — though admittedly you would have to be a pretty intrepid journalist to start the process of figuring him out.

It is only through the most painstaking research that I myself have discovered that (a) he has written a book, as well as some articles that one can read online, for free; (b) his campaign operates a "Web site" where you can find his positions on many issues; and (c) a lot of people have written a great deal about him, which you can also read online — for free!

Why, if I didn’t know better, I’d speculate that on some level, this rather bizarre confession on the part of somebody paid to tell the world what he thinks about American politics, that he’s unfamiliar with the record and positions of a major presidential candidate, speaks to some latent, deep-seated sense that there just hadn’t been all that much of a need to take this dusky-hued fellow seriously. After all (heh heh), who’d ever vote for one of… him?

But of course I would never actually so speculate. Not only am I refreshingly free of cynicism, but I have the same antipathy to what Meyer calls "pop psychology" as he does, and I have exactly the same amount of integrity as him in refraining from it.

Which is not to say that Meyer doesn’t have his fans. Certain eminences of the Right Blogosphere find him Profound, including The Anchoress, who provides the sort of perspective on race in America that only a self righteous suburban Long Island shut-in can deliver. Speaking of a relative who is so crass as to remain Democratic (on Long Island, even!) and who likes Obama, Our Lady of Roosevelt Field declares:

she loves Obama [because] he is black. Wow…a chance to vote for someone who his not Hillary AND to “feel kinda good about myself” at the same time! This is a win-win! Obama’s blackness gives my relative permission to vote for him over Hillary, because women have achieved lots of things (and hell, Hillary was already a co-president) but blacks in America are still being kept from full participation in some venues. A vote for Obama helps to correct that, and that renders such a vote “noble.” A vote for Obama sets this relative of mine free from Hillary, and (and I know I’m going to get creamed for saying it) from white guilt, too.

Right. Because no Democratic primary voter would ever consider voting for Obama for the ludicrous reasons that they think he has the best policies and the best chance of winning come November. It’s all about the White Guilt. For, clearly, Obama is obviously incapable of persuading anyone based on his positions, or Heaven Forfend, actually inspiring anyone with his rhetoric! Crazy talk! He is one of… him, you know.

Yeah, it would be cool to have the first black president ever. But the hangups about race in regards to Obama don’t belong to Democratic voters, who by and large remain preoccupied with trivial issues like the fact that there’s a fucking war on, that our healthcare system sucks, and that we need to beat the snot out of the GOP this year because they’re absolutely goddamn crap at this "running the nation" thing and are besides that complete lunatics. (See the Anchoress’ comments section! Or this one, belonging to similarly afflicted dope Dr. Helen!) Most independents and even many Republicans, by the way, would seem to agree.

I mean, damn, did you see that GOP debate tonight? If I wanted to spend time with vindictive crusty old white guys, I’d visit my relatives a shitload more often.

*BONUS FUN*, because I love you. The Anchoress, again: "Now, consider Alan Keyes – he is a very smart man who is a walking thesaurus, capable of constructing whole perfect paragraphs on the fly. He’s the very definition of ‘articulate’ and would be whether he was white, black, yellow, red or whatever. But does anyone seriously think that his being well-spoken and energetic makes him a viable candidate for the White House?" No, she really said that. You can look it up.