The Mustache of Understanding There’s something uncommonly fake about Thomas Friedman’s latest column, from "Manama" to "anymore". And I mean uncommonly fake even by Thomas Friedman "I talked to a cab driver in Damascus who sounded just like me" standards.

Growing up in Minnesota, one of my favorite things was going to the state fair each summer and watching the guy who would guess your weight within 5 pounds. If you fooled him, you won a stuffed animal.

Tom, you and I are both from Minnesota. You know damn well that growing up in the land of 10,000 lakes our favorite things were watching the Vikings get trounced in the Super Bowl, driving our cars on frozen lakes, adding yellow-dye to our butter, standing a respectful distance from one another, making fun of Iowa, and noting we didn’t have as many serial killers as Wisconsin.

But Mr. "Suck on This" is not yet ready to give up America’s "Pundit Given Right" to contemplate war as much as it darn well pleases:

The Gulf Arabs feel like they have this neighbor who has been a drug dealer for 18 years. Recently, this neighbor has been very visibly growing poppies for heroin in his backyard in violation of the law. He’s also been buying bigger and better trucks to deliver drugs. You can see them parked in his driveway.

In the past year, though, because of increased police patrols and all the neighbors threatening to do something, this suspicious character has shut down the laboratory in his basement to convert poppies into heroin. In the wake of that, the police declared that he is no longer a drug dealer.

“But wait,” say the Gulf Arabs, “he’s still growing poppies. He was using them for heroin right up to 2003. Now he says he’s in the flower business. He’s not in the flower business. He’s dealing drugs. And he’s still expanding the truck fleet to deliver them. How can you say he’s no longer a drug dealer?”

Alright, are we talking about Sunni theocratic monarchies distrusting a Shiia theocracy or Milton Berle as "Louie the Lilac"?

Can you stretch one more analogy Tommy?

If we sit down with the Iranians without the leverage of a global coalition ready to impose tighter and tighter economic sanctions — should Iran not halt enrichment — we’ll end up holding a stuffed animal. The peculiar (obtuse?) way the N.I.E. on Iran was framed has deprived all who favor a negotiated settlement of leverage.

Tom Friedman is calling something "obtuse"?

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