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His Chimperial Heinous sleeps the sleep of the unjust.
(*snoring and speaking in sleep*)
BUSH: No , no, bad touch…*snorts* does tickle though…he he he.
SUDDENLY a NOISE!
The groggy President sits up in his bed startled
BUSH: Cindy Sheehan? She found me!
A shimmering white, but still blurry vision materializes at the foot of the bed.
BUSH: Oh man, too much Wild Turkey, better start drinking Jenny-O Whiskey instead.
The vision solidifies, revealing a man dressed in glowing white robes with long-hair and a beard appears bearing a benevolent smile.
BUSH: Oh, no, Mormons — what are you, one of Romney’s people? And here I am without my special underoos on.
…oh wait. Oh my, it’s that guy from that Mel Gibson movie, um, what was that called? Um…jeez, this is tough. He was Jewish and stuff.
VISITOR: It is I, who you call Jesus.
BUSH: Thanks, but that wasn’t it.
VISITOR: George W. Bush, it is I, Jesus of Nazareth.
BUSH: Oh yeah. Hey, how ya’ doin’? How’d you get in here?
VISITOR: Well, it’s on the way to Damascus. (Makes Josh Bolton appear to do a rim shot)
BUSH: I don’t get it. Anyway, I’m like busy and stuff Lord, I’ve got important things to do spreading freedom and marching progress. You know, holy stuff. I’m doin’ your work because you were too lazy to, in the words of the prophet Larry the Cable Guy, ‘git r done’ . Why tomorrow I’m helicopterin’ into Annapolis to bring the Israelis and the less terry terr’ists together.
VISITOR: I am here to teach you, how to resolve your problems, how to end the scourge of war.
BUSH: What?
VISITOR: It is time for you to learn the way to truth.
BUSH: But, ah already know the way to truth, and truth is whatever ah believe, ’cause I’m a truth-speakin’ guy, ’cause I’m plain spoken and plain spoken people never lie. Why ah ‘am even bringin’ my special portable Presidential Rug with me. I’ve pretty much spent the last year concentratin’ on it — the rug I mean. It’s like ah’m Trent Lott. It’s really plush, you should see the padding underneath it, like Trent Lott. I got the whole story to tell about it, should kill a couple hours too. Then when they are so in awe of me and mah carpet I’ll get the heck outta there and they’ll have no choice but to make peace because it and me are so frickin’ awesome. We’re even havin’ it catered by The Olive Garden. So you can see, ah have a plan that cannot fail.
Say, do, you know that we both share the same father?
VISITOR: Um, yeah, about that.
BUSH: Hey, you know ah’m right. There’s the trinity for example. There’s dad, there’s you, and then the Holy Me.
VISITOR: Well, I’m afraid you are misunderstanding a couple things.
BUSH: Are you calling my mommy a liar, Jew boy?
VISITOR: Look, you must learn that you cannot use others to carry out your will, nor force your will upon others. People must gather and solve their own problems, not beaten into capitulation, or issuing meaningless platitudes or making meaningless gestures. Remember blessed are the peacemakers? It takes, as you like to say, hard work.
BUSH: You’re wrong! (gets out of bed) That’s so gay! C’mon you dirty hippie let’s wrestle.
VISITOR: What?
BUSH: Take that (Bush punches the visitor below the belt) RIGHT IN THE SACRAMENTS!
Blandly written joint communique to follow.
(photo from Petroleumjelliffe)
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1,671 DAYZ AND THE KILLIN’ GOEZ ON AND ON AND..
Citizen Attaturk and the Firepup Freedom Fighters:
ZED?
My goodness…wonders never cease with Jesus!
KEEP THE FAITH AND THE BASTARDS WILL ALL BURN IN HELL!!
git r dun, hu hu hu
morning!
selise @ 3
hi :D
Good Morning! It’s so nice to wake up to snark in the morning.
Hey selise…good ta hear from ya
hey norske – here’s something to get you riled up this morning:
tw3k – you been awake all night?
selise @ 8
yeah, i’m tw3k’n out
Good morning! The Honorable Attaturk definitely is a reason for early rising. The hour makes substantive commenting a little tough, though.
lol
yeah, that rings true alright.
Can we Impeach this miserable fucktard yet?
A.Citizen @ 12
Dat substantive enuff fer ya pal?
Good morning pups!
Thanks Attaturk,
You brighten my day.
Wonderful poetry
egregious @ 14
Good morning. Are you still on the west coast?
Good morning all.
What’s the deal with C-SPAN? Some sort of radio station instead of WJ?
Attaturk, you’re one sick bastard.
Have I meantioned lately that I love you?
OT,
Is trex OK?
Word around town is this Annapolis charade is a last ditch attempt at “legacy.”
I’m sorry, that train left years ago. Commander guy’s legacy is cemented and on it’s way to the bottom of the ocean.
Worst president EVAH!!
ixnay @ 10
Substantive commuting? LIke to work?
Good morning, pups. It’s Bobo and Bob Herbert in the NYT. Bobo says the U.S. still has much more to gain than to lose from openness, trade and globalization. Mr. Herbert says the electorate is upset, anxious and hungry for change. But “weak tea” is as good a term as any to describe what the Democrats are offering.
http://mgpaquin.wordpress.com/
The coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready, and I’ve got cranberry muffins this morning. Have a great day.
Buenos dias!
Apparently CSPAN 1 is Grandy and Andy show until nine. The discussion is mostly about the death of the Redskins player:
Grandy & Andy Radio Simulcast
From WMAL Radio in Washington, D.C., the “Grandy & Andy Show.” Mr. Grandy, an actor and former four-term House Member from Iowa (R), is teamed with Mr. Andy Parks, a Washington radio veteran since 2003.
Then, watch the Washington Journal from 9AM ET to 10Am ET.
ON WASHINGTON JOURNAL
Tuesday, November 27
9am – Robert Hathaway, Woodrow Wilson International Center, Asia Program Director
9:30am – Chief Justice Abdul Azimi, Afghanistan Supreme Court
W’s legacy is going to be a failed costly war that took down America. His trashing of the constitution and his transfer of wealth to those who were already wealthy.
He succeeded at advancing the old boys network and that’s about it. His “base”, the 1% are happy.
SanderO @ 19
all i know is from this thread (and links)
JPL @ 16
If it’s Tuesday it must be
BelgiumVirginia. Will be substantively commuting between now and the end of January, then the real move to Menlo Park.egregious @ 21
I commute from my bedroom to my home office. Even though I do surgery there, I’m not sure that’s a substantive commute. Some parts of the brain get in gear before others.
Trex left… but why and is he OK? Can someone throw some light on this?
Oh jeebus…was just watching the news coverage about the faux peace summit and I swear to the cosmos the camera caught the back of Lieberman’s head.
Be prepared for more foolish prattle from that asswipe about how marvelous this Potemkin summit.
Anybody watching C-Span2? Gordon Brown on live…..some kind of muckery coming from England involving election/?/campaign funding?
Morning all. Early to bed, all bright and perky here.
Hilarious post, attaturk!
Per NPR, Hastert is actually leaving soon and Darth had to be defribbed yesterday (”normal, to be expected with age, etc….”). Isn’t that what his pacemaker’s for?
ixnay @ 27
You do brain surgery? On yourself? I thot that’s what coffee was for.
1,671 DAYZ ANHD THE KILLIN’ GOEZ ON AND ON AND..
Citizen SanderO and the firepup Freedom Fighters:
Trex is off on hi own damned blog and when the time is right I’m sure it’ll get logged and linked here…Trex is a great talent and, though he wasn’t wasted on us here at night, he will most surely reach many more in his own space and will have a bit more freedom ta take off in his prehistoric sorta way.
KEEP THE FAITH AND DO IT TO THEM BEFORE THEY DO IT TO US AGAIN!!!
SanderO @ 28
Trex has his own site now. Here is his first post, from Friday. It has as much explanation as I’ve seen.
Sunny -
They’re acting like defribbing somebody is no big deal….I always had the impression that it certainly was.
Any health care pups on-line who can shed a little light on the subject?
I believed the entire episode right up until the time bush takes a shot at his “visitor”
BUSH: Take that (Bush punches the visitor below the belt) RIGHT IN THE SACRAMENTS!
the man is a chicken shit and there is no way no how he would be anywhere near a fight unless he had some body guards with him holding his oponents arms behing their back
but I believed the episode up till that part.
i swear linux was created by and maintained by the OCD.
Can anyone fill in the background on this statement by Trex? I’m not familiar enuf with his work to know what he means.
tw3k @ 37
the secret is out
mornin attaturk
thanks for the pre-shower chuckle
now off to the grind
If you’re not following Glenzilla’s takedown of Joe Klein and now his employer, Time, you’re missing the best show in town. This will bring you up to speed:
Thing are so bad that Harvard and UC Berkeley are getting involved:
mack @ 39
FWIW: http://linux.slashdot.org/linu…..0224.shtml
Yeah, thanks, for a nice bit of humor to take my imagination off how this administration will end up… someday… if they don’t all do the Regie Perrin thing (fake their deaths and live incognito).
wigwam @ 41
Pile On!
Zogby’s New Poll Shows Hillary Gets Beat by all the major Republican candidates, that is.
But before all those who assert that this means that Hillary IS gonna get beat by all the major Repeublican candidates…take a breath and count to ten…then read Zogby’s methodology.
This was an ON-LINE POLL…of those that registered on the Zogby site. All it took was a distinctive phone number and email address and filling out a application. To test this I actually filled out two different applications and used two different emails that I have used (one for real email, the other is for spam) and they sent me surveys through both.
This means that any determined campaign could easily Astroturf such surveys. Once it’s known that Zogby was using on-line polling a campaign could easily register hundreds if not thousands of independent email addresses and phone numbers. Then Zogby would contact these mass-produced contacts in their polling sample. It could easily result in scores of bogus responses.
The last legitimate random non-on-line surveys that have asked about voter dislike have shown that Clinton actually has the lowest “I would not vote for” stats of any Democratic candidate. Futhermore no other survey has shown that Clinton would lose to any of the Republican candidates…several she led by double figures. To have an on-line survey show that she suddenly would lose not only against Giuliani, but also Romney, Thompson and McCain is a “red flag”.
Someone astroturfed the survey, just like they astroturfed the on-line section of the Religious Right’s “Value Voters” convention in NY City to give Romney the win and a huge boost to Ron Paul (both of whom got almost no votes from the regular attendees).
wigwam @ 42
Ah, cool! thx.
egregious @ 32
You do brain surgery? On yourself? I thot that’s what coffee was for.
PG Tips tea. The kind from England. I hardly ever do surgery on myself, tho the brain surgery is sometimes tempting (how to get those bad thoughts OUT!?!) Almost always on teh kittehs – spay/neuter.
my bold
ai chee wa wa!
tw3k @ 37
OCD?
Waccamaw @ 30
Yeah some businessman filtered money to Labour by using employee accounts to conceal it. In the US this would definitely be illegal (though it’s definitely done…just look at all the Housewives and Students who contribute $1000’s into scores of campaigns, to the same candidates their husband/father supports and often in the same amounts on the same dates.
How they get this money to gratuitously spend on political camapains is a real mystery. But I bet it comes from Daddy….and they are told what to use it for.
nomolos @ 49
obsessive compulsive disorder
those of us who constantly click the refresh comments button wouldn’t know anything about that ;)
Elliott @ 51
lol!
A brief totally OT dischordant note:
Miami football player Sean Taylor died from being shot in the thigh during a home invasion and bleeding out. A heartfelt condolence this a.m. to his family, especially his girlfriend and daughter, and his friends and colleagues.
This is a teaching moment that I hope voices of influence within and without the black community will seize for the betterment of all. Violence, black on black violence, “no snitch,” hiphop. There’s a whole big conversation about race that in some smug quarters was trumpeted after the Imus Rutgers episode.
As Brokaw noted recently, Imus said call me at the ranch when it happens. Well, it didn’t happen. Media in particular need to reach beyond the self-aggrandizing Sharpton types and start talking sanely about serious issues of racial and economic divide in this country.
And the culture of no-accountability, outlaw smash-n-grab that starts in the Oval Office.
Martyrs come from strange places sometimes…maybe this one wore a football helmet. Rest in peace, Sean Taylor.
I’ve noticed the Right-Wing machine trying to temper its base lately. Anyone else noticed this? Especially on the fever-pitch, anti-immigrant racism that the pundits have stirred up, but has taken off like a wild fire. The irony is that corporations and farmers, part of the Republican base, like immigration. Even Bush and McCain, two border staters like immigrants.
It’s part of the hypocrisy of the Right that they want to tighten immigration laws, but if you tried to get them to reign in companies that open branches in other countries to avoid paying taxes in the US, good luck.
Personally, I find this anti-immigration wave sickening. I got involved on the WaPo comments of an immigration op-ed, and was called a bigot, a Hispanic, an elitist, an idiot – all the while reading the most racist comments I’ve read in a while. It’s really awful.
Things I done did learn today
more Attaturk upstairs!
cinnamonape @ 50
Heard something recently on sat radio wrt this issue…….like whether a BABY should be allowed to make political donations. Well, duh! Next the thugs will say embryos can contribute to campaigns.
George Simian @ 54
it’s a page straight out of Hitler’s play book, must find an internal enemy, for Hitler it was the Jews
one problem with this theory though is that bush is for some kind of amnesty program so his corporate sponsors can have a surplus of labor
my only explanation would be that bush is a puppet to many puppeteers and they all don’t sing the same tune
Waccamaw @ 56
well you’ve just given me an idea that would solve the coporate sponsorship of our elections and their ability to buy our law;
“contributions can only be given by people who are eligeable to vote”
if a bussiness wants to contribute they would have to disolve their corporation and act as a person, therefore nobody could say free speech is being impeded…which noone could say anyway but this law would solve that issue anyway
MAN that’s a good idea
perris -
“contributions can only be given by people who are eligeable to vote”
DING!
Prairie Sunshine @ 53
Well, no one knows if this was “black-on-black” violence…or even an attempted robbery or burglary. But there is the other break-in incident about a week before that left some strange symbols in Taylor’s home. But nothing was taken.
Maybe Taylor knew his assailant?
Elliott @ 51
My ADHD interferes with my OCD.
Waccamaw @ 56
I’m of the view that only those who actually have the right to vote in a given election should be allowed to contribute to a campaign. No corporations, no PAC’s, no children, no non-residents who can’t vote for or against a candidate or measure. Party money should only come in during the General Elections. And no candidate could shift money from their campaign treasury into another candidates.
And money that is donated should be limited.
Radio/TV should have to have debates and provide time for an extensive statement and interviews with candidates.
This would make all campaigns essentially “grassroot campaigns” once again. The playing field would be leveled, though incumbents would still have an advantage. Still, the corrupting influence of corporation money would be purged.
I’d gladly be willing to sacrifice my right to make a contribution to Donna Edward’s or other candidate outside my district/state if the corporations, lobbyists, and big money contributors had to stop their donations. If such a candidate was good, they would be able to defeat an unliked incumbent if the financial field was evened. In fact, they might have an even greater advantage. But incumbents would no longer complain about having to constantly fundraise OUTSIDE their district and lose contact locally. They’d have to return home.
Good morning all.
Im wondering if this country is going to sit quietly while Bush declares an enduring presence in Iraq and permanent bases.
http://thinkprogress.org/
LOL! Hilarious.
Waccamaw
Heard something recently on sat radio wrt this issue…….like whether a BABY should be allowed to make political donations. Well, duh! Next the thugs will say embryos can contribute to campaigns.
spew! Then we could have a conversation about lowering the voting age… substantially.