It's Thanksgiving. Amidst all the crazy running around, and chopping up celery and onions for dressing, and cranberries and oranges for the cranberry salad and trying to keep The Peanut from tossing in surprise ingredients while I'm cooking ("Mom! Peanutbutter would be great in the mashed potatoes! Can I put some in?"), I just wanted to take a moment this morning for a little laughter. Enjoy: (via the Daily Herald)
After 27 years as one of the reassuring voices on the other end of the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line, she has heard just about everything. Including when things go bad in a big way.
"One of the first calls was a lady who called and said her kitchen was on fire," Clingman recalls. "I told her to hang up and call the fire department."
November marks the start of prime time for the operators who staff the cooking hot lines that help Americans navigate the mishaps, blunders and outright silliness sometimes involved in preparing holiday feasts.
And thanks to all those blunders, people like Robyn Sargent have great stories to tell.
Sargent is a baking instructor at the King Arthur Flour Co. in Norwich, Vt. She helped launch the company's Baker's Hotline in 1993. Her favorite disaster story involves a woman who called while trying to bake bread.
Sargent says the woman described how the dough she had put in the oven was oozing out the sides of her oven and gushing onto the floor in volcano-like bursts.
Turns out the woman took the recipe literally when it said add a packet of yeast. Sargent says the woman didn't realize the recipe meant a 2 1/4-teaspoon packet, not the 1-pound package she had bought.
At the Ocean Spray Consumer Helpline, calls have ranged from odd ("Help! I can't get the sauce out of the can!") to weird ("Can I dye my hair with your cranberry juice?") to disturbing ("Can I give cranberry juice to my cat for its bladder infection?").
Speaking of cats, one caller to the Foster Farms Turkey Helpline wanted to know how to fix a turkey that the family cat had chewed holes into prior to roasting. Foster Farms spokeswoman Teresa Lenz says the woman was urged to buy a new bird.
Then there's Clingman's kitty litter incident.
A caller from Georgia wanted advice from the Butterball folks on cooking a turkey inside her husband's new gas grill. The catch was that her husband didn't want the grill to get dirty, so he'd filled it with kitty litter to absorb the grease.
Would it be OK to grill the turkey with the litter? No, Clingman didn't think so.
Becky Wahlund, director of test kitchens at Land O'Lakes, says the company's former holiday baking hot line used to get some hilarious calls, including the woman who asked whether she could substitute tartar sauce for cream of tartar....
My favorite, though, is the one that Snopes features -- the mom whose kids parked their Hotwheels in the turkey cavity, and only found about after it had finished roasting. (Hmmmm....what smells like plastic?) NPR has even more with an interview with a Butterball hotline worker -- hilarious. Adopting turkeys? Not for everyone. And I loved this, if only for the M.F.K. Fisher quote -- I adore her snide take on all things food. In any case, I thought we could all start the day off with a laugh. Even if Uncle Orville gets drunk and starts throwing the jell-o cranberry salad at Grandma Lou again this year, you'll at least have had a little snicker.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm grateful that I have such wonderful folks to share a laugh with today. So, how's your morning? Mine is starting with a lot of cooking and even more coffee...
(Photo via sroemerm.)
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gobble-gobble!
Happy Thanksgiving, Christy!
coffee is ready, hold your cups…
this is the first year in forEVAH, I’m not cooking… well… so they say.
BigBrother and OldMother are “handling it” this year… should be interesting…
Good morning.
I got a honey baked turkey breast delivered to my door last night, for a stress-free dinner.
ccmask — Now that is the way to go. *g* I’m doing a lot of my dinner this year by crockpot, because frankly I’m just too tired to fight the long basting oven time this year.
Have I mentioned yet how grateful I am for coffee?
OC — I do hope that your dinner turns out well, especially given that you didn’t have to make it this year. :)
Egregious, hope your son made it in okay yesterday…
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I should not be here, have tons of work to do. But couldn’t pass up wishing you all a happy holiday.
Mornin’ all.
I bet the Smith household is gonna be smelling pretty good in a few.
Christy, you ever thought about running for office? [as he notices the elephant]
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Hope it’s a great day where you are. Christy, enjoy the Peanut and her help. Time flies.
As you did, my cherub has met “the one” in law school and is introducing him to the extended clan today. The fellow is a CA boy so am not sure he’s prepared for this southern food. Maybe tomorrow night’s oyster roast is a better bet?
Off to cook the vegetables and prepare for the glorious horde of 22.
It’s the Thanksgiving for me every day here at the lake — just to be able read all of the comments or to post one occasionally . Thanks to all of you.
Christy Hardin Smith @ 7
as long as it is vaguely edible, I’ll be happy!
Christy Hardin Smith @ 6
The best part is that as soon as we eat, me & my Mom are going away for 2 nights at 2 different bed & breakfast’s. Black Friday, here I come. Have a nice dinner Christy!
Happy Thanksgiving Christy and the Reddhedds,
we have a lot to be grateful for, and I am especially grateful to have the Lake to come to
Thank you.
Jane (nyc) at 10 - Congrats to your daughter. It will be 15 years for us this year — and they said it wouldn’t last. (Well, actually, no they didn’t. We’re the couple from law school that everyone would fall over in a faint about if we ever had problems. Destiny, what can you say? lol)
I was feeling tired cooking for six this morning — but 22 puts me to shame, ma’am. Have a great meal, and a lovely time meeting the future Mr.
Hi Elliot. See you guys ina little while. Off to wash the car.
To make up for the Wed-Thurs-Fri off from work, I have to go in Saturday. It’s an office, we never work overtime, but unusual circumstances have buried our office in paperwork and it needs to be completed by Monday at 5. May need to go in Sunday as well!
So, I’m especially determined to enjoy today and tomorrow.
Good morning, gang!
Just saying hi before I start running around and throwing things into the car.
It’s RAINING here, finally. Of course, it’s the day I have to drive three hours to my mom’s.
T- at 9 — Not really. Having watched so many campaigns up close from working peripherally on them doing phones and canvassing and such, as well as going to fundraisers, I just don’t think I have the temperament to sustain the level of interest in the everyday bullshit that goes along with running these days. Endless fundraising events? Blergh. No thanks. (Mr. ReddHedd says that is a good thing, and makes a candidate more attractive to him. *g*)
TRex — Enjoy the rain, have a safe drive and a lovely day. Tell that brother of yours howdy from us, too. Be safe!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. We will be at my conservative brothers so conversation will be limited.
Thanks to all of you for making this blog an informative and supportive place.
I miss my little grandchildren but we will see them at Christmas.
Happy Thanksgiving Peanut and family
Christy Hardin Smith @ 19
My brother has gone to Indiana to see his in-laws. I will miss him today.
solai at 16 — When I was practicing, I used to love holiday time. I could go into the office, plow through the pile of paperwork on my desk, and the phone wasn’t ringing off the hook. (Why yes, I have always been thoroughly anal retentive about my work. Why do you ask? *g*)
Happy Turkee day everyone!
It’s time to get out my West Wing DVD’s and find the episodes with the pardoning of the turkeys—Shibboleth—and the one with Jed calling the Butterball hot line. I love their holiday episodes! It also takes me into my preferred alternate parallel universe.
We’re going to a colleague/friend’s house. We were told to bring mashed potatoes and carrots. Will do but that’s no fun so I’m making croissants too.
How’s everyone? I feel like I’m kind of out of the loop as work and my mother in the hospital in LA is taking most of my time.
Good morning, Christy and pups!
Don’t forget to save some gravy for the turkey pie. Steam some cubed potato and sliced carrots, add some chopped onion and frozen peas. Cube leftover turkey. Using frozen pie crusts, just put some gravy over the goodies, put the second crust on top and bake. My favorite leftover dish.
the dogs say, “We lurv turkee!”
snowbird at 20 — Sorry about the dinner conversation. How about those giblets? Ahem. Hope you have a lovely time nonetheless — and a safe drive there and back again…
(((RevDeb and RevDebMom)))
I would like to mention that I am deeply thankful for this rain, Caller ID, and my two gorgeous kittehs.
And of course, you guys.
snowbird42 @ 20
Please see my Late Late Nite post for some helpful conversational gambits.
A tradition in my home (when the kids were young) was to have them make homemade butter like the pilgrims did (or not, but we pretended they did). My own became blase about it but one of our frequent guests (who’s now 18) told me recently that he loved my Thanksgiving dinners for 3 reasons:
-making butter
-roasting chestnuts
-a pomegranate
Must admit, it was nice to hear that he had fond memories of those times.
“turkee! turkee! turkee!”
OC at 25 — Our dachshund almost got a turkey bonanza from heaven this morning. She was standing under my feet — which is her typical spot in the kitchen, plotting to trip me up for flying food bits — and I turned to pop the turkey breast in the slow cooker and almost dropped it when I tripped over her.
She had this look on her face that was sheer bliss for a couple of minutes there…alas for her, no fumble.
solai @ 30
We made butter at Thanksgiving in my pre-kindergarten class. It was awesome. I kept asking for the rest of the year when we were going to do it again.
Sadly, we only did it that one time.
sorry about your mom, RevDeb…
TRex @ 28
Been thinking about you a lot lately and teh dry. Didn’t get to read the thread on draught precautions but I remember being without water for 4 days in a storm that took out the electric. Dec. cold. no power for the well. Had enough to drink, but couldn’t flush or shower. Yuk. Hope you get lots of rain.
Deb — So sorry to hear about your mom. Hugs, hon…
happee fangsgivings!
Sorry about your mom, RevDeb.
We plan an extremely mellow day.
I wrote about photography. I’m going to clean up from breakfast. We’ll probably watch a movie. I may take more pictures tonight.
Anyway, in addition to birds, this is the sort of thing I’ve been working on as of late.
Christy Hardin Smith @ 7
He is here, sleeping, and eastern daughter is arriving shortly to make the pies, her speciality. First time western daughter has missed a thanksgiving, but I understand families change sometimes :)
Christy Hardin Smith @ 22
We, too, expect to finish in 3hrs what it takes 7hrs to complete on a normal day.
Hey, RevDeb, you’re clergy. That means you’ve got CONNECTIONS. If you could have a word with God about us here in Georgia, tell her hi for me and give her a big hug.
I think we may be in for some stormy weather here today. Lots and lots of wind and a bit of rain thus far. Not quite cold enough to snow, yet, though.
this week at school, I had the kids do a turkey “template” (head, neck and body - the kids draw the missing parts) on the computers. Before we go to the computers, we talk about what’s missing - tail feathers, legs and wattle.
When trying to figure out the name for the wattle (”chin!” “red thing!”), one child very seriously insisted it was called “the gobble”…
I thought it was as good a name as any.
CHS @ 18 - dern. I figured the true barometer for just how broken our government is would be to see what you got accomplished against all the inherent inertia. I don’t see anyone else around that can fix it although Feingold, Kudinich and Waxman are trying. Now we’ll never know.
TRex @ 28 - Caller ID? I hope the Phelps family haven’t found you out.
solai @ 41
You call a day which takes 7 hours to complete something “normal?”
OldCoastie @ 34
Replacement knee broke—got infected. She’s in a rehab now for 6-8 week course of antibiotics, then a time lapse of 4 weeks before they can replace the knee. Then more rehab to get her on her feet again. At 82 that’s a lot to go through. I’ll have to make a trip out there soon, but don’t know when yet. Trying to keep her spirits up from across the country and deal with the rehab and medicare, etc. . . . . .
Thanks for the good wishes. She was so planning to get out to PA for the holidays and see our new home. It will have to wait until my formal installation at the church in April.
It’s a good thing I’m not a teacher.
“Who else has a wattle kids? That’s right, Rush Limbaugh! Who else?”
TRex @ 42
I thought Sonny had that well in hand.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Can I just say that $15.00 for an apple pie is crazy. The supermarket was just trying to take advantage of the situation.
yup, that’s a lot at 82, RevDeb… blessings and prayers…
Millineryman @ 50
Gosh, who runs it, FEMA?
TRex @ 48
You are a very funny, very scary, dinosaur.
TRex @ 29
I read it with great interest TRex. My brother is an old car nut so we’ll talk model T’s (g)
TRex, you ought to see the kids’ recipes for cooking a turkey.
Millineryman @ 50
$15 might not be crazy for an apple pie—but for one from a supermarket? crazy (or is it Wegmans?)
TRex,
A special Happy T-day to you. Know what you mean about missing Patrick. Am anxiously waiting for my twin to roll in from Eden. Am sure Patrick is concerned about your driving in the rain.
You be careful big guy and have a great time at your mom’s.
That time I ran into God a few weeks ago, she told me that Sonny just keeps drunk-dialing her and slurring into the phone that he wants a Ferrari and a Hershey’s kiss as big as his head. She says he seems to think she’s Santa Claus, but their cell numbers are really similar, so it’s easy to get confused.
Actually, those guys haven’t figured out Caller ID yet, so every time they call, I just wait a few minutes and call them back, “Hello? Reverend Phelps? Do you have Prince Albert in a can?”
((Rev Dev))
My dad’s been in the hospital, but just got home yesterday! We’re *not* headed there, however, as the last thing he needs is a crazy houseful of people. My brother (single and kid-less) is going to represent the rest of us, and do the cooking for mom and dad.
Around here, my little one has been anxiously waiting for Thanksgiving for weeks. “Today’s the day!” he announced at 6 AM, running into our bedroom. You’d think it was Christmas or his birthday or something.
The reason for this excitement? He gets to help with the cooking, especially helping dad with smoking the turkey on the grill outside. Says the kid, “I get to pull the insides of the turkey out, then put lemons and garlic inside!!!” Once we get the turkey on the grill, he wants to smash the potatoes. (He’d probably love the peanutbutter in the mashed potatoes!) And during breaks in the cooking, there’s a parade on TV.
For a six year old, how much more fun can things be? Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
the sweetest thing this week… we talked about things we are thankful for and many kids we thankful for their teachers and for their school…
(((kids))))
Oh yeah, on Miyazaki anime…
Which ones are appropriate for a 5 year old and a 2.5 year old who don’t watch violence?
I rented “The Cat Returns” and it was a bit slow for the fellas.
I heard Christy mention Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke and some others, but some of the reviews said that samurais were slicing folks in half in some of them. That would shock the little guys.
November 22. I remember the thanksgiving holiday in 1963. It was a very very somber and sad time.
A moment of silence in remembrance of Camelot that never was.
Happy thanksgiving, too, to the folks applying for US citizenship. Of course, that’s not the message they’re getting from DHS. “You filed your application in May, 2007? We should be able to get to you by Christmas 2008. Never mind those pesky elections next year. Happy Holidays!”
RevDeb @ 56
DING! Yes it’s Wegmans. They were “handmade” as the sticker said, and they a lot of them left last night.
I got 3 frozen organic pies made by a local company instead for $15.00
Peterr @ 64
Just saw that in the newspaper sitting at my side. How convenient for the repigs to not be able to process new voters who just might not like them too much. I’m sure the new AG will help speed this along . . . . .
TRex — any biscotti left?
TRex-Glad you having rain. I hope the weather pattern breaks for your area of the country.
Peterr @ 67
Yes. I ate three of them, then sat and my tiny forelimbs and reminded myself that I would have a serious stomach ache if I went any further.
Sweets on an empty stomach can be a very bad idea for me.
about making butter on Thanksgiving,
I had to whip a quart of cream last night to make the dessert and I was VERY thankful that I didn’t make butter!
Okay, I’ve already been here about forty more minutes than I really should have.
You guys have a great day!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Millineryman @ 65
Wegman’s has the only grocery store bakery that makes stuff that tastes real, not processed. Not an apple pie person, but it probably was a good one.
RevDeb @ 63
that was such a sad and shocking day…
T- — Mononoke is NOT appropriate. We haven’t allowed The Peanut to see that one. Definitely an adult level movie — but it has a fantastic environmental consequences message for older folks.
For little ones, try My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki’s Delivery Service, and Spirited Away. The Peanut loves those. :)
Good morning,
To my southern neighbours, a happy thankgiving. Can’t convey to all of you how much I appreciate this place, gives me solace that good people do abound in the States.
Thanks again Christy. Off to netflix.
I have Wizard of Oz on order for this weekend.
The flying monkeys are gonna trip ‘em out.
RevDeb @ 72
I know, they are very good at what they do.
Imagine next Thanksgiving. What do you think we’ll all be saying?
solai @ 78
President-elect Clinton.
one of the things I love about Thanksgiving is that it really is such an American holiday…
the kids at our school are very diverse multiculturally speaking… and yet, EVERYBODY celebrates Thanksgiving… the menus are different but the thought is the same…
OldCoastie @ 80
I think the American Indians have a somewhat different view of the Thanksgiving myth.
eCAHNomics @ 79
Great. Now I’m depressed.
solai @ 78
I’m just hoping that whatever it is we’ll be saying it out loud and on the internet rather than experiencing what’s happening in Burma and Pakistan.
Christy Hardin Smith @ 14
That’s really something to be thankful for. My wife and I started going together in high school, got married in college, and are working on 45 years. We know there’s a cost at the end, but are truly thankful. Happy Thanksgiving.
eCAHNomics @ 81
well, I’m sure that’s true, but from the standpoint of being thankful, gathering with family, eating lots of good food, there is a lot of joy in my corner of the world.
eCAHNomics @ 79
Please, goddess, no.
Happy Turkey Day everyone. Like Trex I am thankful for the rain today. Nothing like waking up to the sound of thunder and rain in the gutters. The pies are all made and the dressing too. All that’s left is to get the bird in the oven and peel potatoes(sweet and russet).
In celebration of the rain this morning I even used some left over cooked apples and pie crust and had good old fashioned fried apple pies for breakfast…nothing better with good rich coffee. Everyone have a great and safe day and remember to take the bag of giblets out of the turkey and no that is not a cooking bag it is wrapped in.
So thankful for this site — now, back to 5 hours of cleaning and 1 hour to do it in. Memo to self: Next time we move, don’t volunteer to host Thanksgiving a month later.
eCAHNomics @ 79
Congressman-elect Larry Kissell :)
I love this little you tube, Pete Seeger is my hero and hes still singing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...../72347/032
OldCoastie @ 73
I remember well. In a lot of ways, it was more traumatic than 9/11. Sort of the end of innocence. We thought that it was something that happened only in the distant past and in other countries. It seemed never quite the same afterward.
Other Pat @ 88
See, but then you have a ready made excuse for everything– order takeout and explain “we wanted to… but…” as in “we had planned to make our own turkey, but we haven’t found the box with the baster yet… we’d wanted to bake pie from fresh pumpkins, but somehow we can’t find the box with the allspice and the supermarket was all out… we wanted to use the nice glasses, but all we could find were these mason jars.”
Hey Pups…
Today, as everyday, I am thankful for the Lake and our brilliant front pagers. What a gift to this nation that keeps on giving.
Please take care in your travels to and fro and come back strong, because we have an enormous task in getting this ship of state heading back on course to its rightful future… of equity, and justice for all.
Now go and pursue some happiness!
OK. shower time and WW video time while doing a bit of cooking before going to friend’s house.
Popping back in and out when able.
Have a great one everyone!
I have a question. Yesterday I bought a beautiful new bowl. It’s a deep, deep shiny red. Really shiny. Now, I see it’s made in China and I’m wondering about lead content. Would that be harmful in a stonewear bowl?
WBAI always does shows around this time every year about how the Native Americans have really been screwed by the white man’s invasion.
They have been.
Happy Boid-Day, y’all!
Heading south today to visit mom’s side of the family - haven’t seen ‘em for years.
A bunch of huge men, fun women, loud, boisterous, hard-drinkin’ rednecks who are just a ton of fun. I won’t be drinking with them, but it oughta be a fun day. I’m practicing my laconic southern drawl here this morning before I take off.
Am expecting lots of fantastic stories, told with great enthusiasm, not true in any way, shape or form (but told with absolute sincerity) - thrown out only to be inevitably topped by the next story someone else throws out. They’re such a hoot…
I’m grateful for the chance to sit here quietly thinking about just what I’m grateful for. Somewhere on the long list is the muster of crows who’ve been carrying on outside my window for a while now. (Also grateful for the internets so I could go here and find out what a group of crows is called.)
JulieWaters @ 92
707!!
tpres2000 @ 97
Weird– I’ve never heard them called a “muster” before– my favorite for crows and ravens are, respectively, a “murder” and an “unkindness”
a murder of crows
Peterr @ 98
Is that the opposite of “LOL” (because it’s upside down) or something else entirely?
jayt @ 96
Stories are the best part of southern holidays. On the way to the party, you’ve got to get a couple ready to tell, yourself. Try this one:
“You think that’s something? Have you heard the one about the CIA undercover spy, whose husband said something in the NY Times that the VP didn’t like . . .”
JulieWaters @ 102
Laughing so hard, you fall over backwards.
JulieWaters - 707 is LOL so hard you flipped your chair over backwards..
JulieWaters @ 101
Yep. Laughing so hard I fell out of my chair flat on my back with m