Clackers!We truly live in the Information Age. For instance, I stopped by Harry Hutton’s blog the other day, and I learned that Christopher Hitchens just had his balls waxed. It really is fantastic what you can learn online nowadays.

But the educational potential of the Internet is hardly limited to updates on the subject of Chris Hitchens’ testicle hair. For instance, this week we learned that Hamas is training Wellesley undergraduates in the diabolical art of synchronized urination. The terrorists, you see, were themselves terrorized by David Horowitz’s “Islam-o’-Fascism Awareness Week,” which has just concluded. This festive event was designed to cow Hamas and their close ally, Al Qaeda, into submission by getting David Horowitz’s name into the news for provoking interminable screaming matches between himself and American grad students. You can see why Hamas was so worried: what lesser threat could cause them to dispatch their elite pee brigades to New England college campuses? We can just hope that they have not similarly infiltrated posh Manhattan Brazilian full-body waxing parlors, or else Our Modern Orwell might soon have something else dribbling out his ass than what spurts out currently (though on the bright side I suppose it would smell better).

In other disgusting news involving conservatives and body parts, Roger Ailes reports that John McCain’s daughter might give you 50 bucks if you get her dad’s face tattooed on your cheeks (either set). The fact that this is real and not made up is further evidence of how wonderful the Internet is.

And if that isn’t enough to make the point, over at Sadly No they’ve posted a video where Pam Oshry of Atlas Juggs sings a parody of “My Sharona” called “My Sharia.” This is also not made up. (That flushing sound you hear is satire giving up in utter despair.)

Incidentally, the picture above is a picture of Clackers.