Riesz Fischer @ 162

I think this is the best thread I’ve seen.
Do girls/women form closer friendships than boys/men?

Hi Riesz,
I’m EPU’d in a big way, but hopefully, you’ll check back. I have to agree on the excellent thread. Some of our memories are bittersweet, but it’s great reading.

I don’t know if girls form closer relationships with each other than boys do, but one of the things that comes to mind is the fact that there are lots of physical changes for girls as they are in their pre-teen years that might bind us together and that we discuss. I don’t know if boys talk with each other about those things.

IMHO, YMMV,
-S

Way, way EPU’d here, but I wanted to chime in.

Reisz: With a surfeit of male relatives – brothers, cousins, sons – I’ve had ample opportunity to witness their relationships with friends. Yep, they do form the same close bonds as women, but girls and women are allowed to be physically and emotionally expressive throughout their lives. Boys are told very early by the adults around them or by schoolmates that hugging male friends and family members, crying, etc. isn’t acceptable. “Big boys don’t kiss.” “Don’t be a sissy.” etc.

It’s damned hard to counteract those societal messages, and I count myself lucky that my 20yo and 18yo sons have no problem giving each other or their dad hugs and kisses, though that’s as far as their so-called “mushy side” (their words) goes. (Mom, female relative and young male relative exceptions do apply.)

Strat: I don’t know about other generations, but my sons’ peers do seem to talk about the same things, though obviously from a male perspective. I think it’s a matter of finding their way through the thicket of life – figuring out what they think and believe.

When my sons were in their early teens, they and their friends talked about every topic from how breasts grow to menstruation and how tampons work (with a show-and-tell of my personal items) to pen*s size to what laundry detergent works best on sheets, and could you wash all your clothes together or did you have to sort them? (And wasn’t that a roundabout discussion, with none of them wanting to mention why they were suddenly interested in washing their own laundry.)

There was always a time when I’d hear one of my sons say, “Let me ask my mom” and horrified voices would reply, “Dude! You can’t ask your mom about that stuff!” (I guess they really believed that I couldn’t hear them in the next room?) But they always asked, though usually after their friends left.

Now that they’re older, they talk about everything – showing respect for women, divorce, war, terrorism, abortion, rape, and what makes a good father.

I could be outside from first light until after dark

I thought the universal rule was “When the street lights come on, get home”

Not all of us grew up where there were street lights.

When I was a kid my family moved pretty often. I had lots of friends for a while. I haven’t had any real lifelong friends. My father was a school teacher and a union organizer. He pretty much single-handedly organized the teacher’s union here in WV. So, as you might imagine, we had a few enemies. But, it never seemed to bother my parents much. My father’s family was from Sandy Creek in Clay County…we lived in a holler. But, as I said, we moved around a lot. I roamed the countryside wherever we went and was so free I dang near kilt myself a few times.

I guess I’ve been lucky to have had a bunch of friends, but unlucky to have lost track of most of ‘em. A lot moved away to find work.

Nowadays, one of my best friends lives in NC and I only see him a couple of times a year. Thank God for e-mail and the telephone.

Saturday mornings was always a lot of t.v. cartoons and newspapers. But, I guess I always felt so at home outside that I never thought of it as one or two special moments. Nowadays I’m more of an indoor person, but I still love to go to the park.

For those of you who don’t live in especially scenic places…visit a mountainous area like the Appalachian’s or the Rockies when you can. Here in WV it can be beautiful, even in town. Believe me, I’ve been to some other places and our state’s motto, “Almost Heaven” (well, it used to be) is sometimes right on. We also have some great state parks.

I think this is the best thread I’ve seen.
Do girls/women form closer friendships than boys/men?

Didn’t know it was a competition? Some do, some don’t. We live such different lives with such different pressures. Do girls/women do the same competitive/dominance dance that boys/men do? Do girls/women goad each other into stupid/dangerous situations just to “prove” themselves the way boys/men do? Surviving physical danger can forge strong bonds but so can surviving emotional or physical trauma. I think it’s a question that doesn’t have a relevant answer.

I think this is the best thread I’ve seen.
Do girls/women form closer friendships than boys/men?

Hi Riesz,
I’m EPU’d in a big way, but hopefully, you’ll check back. I have to agree on the excellent thread. Some of our memories are bittersweet, but it’s great reading.

I don’t know if girls form closer relationships with each other than boys do, but one of the things that comes to mind is the fact that there are lots of physical changes for girls as they are in their pre-teen years that might bind us together and that we discuss. I don’t know if boys talk with each other about those things.

IMHO, YMMV,
-S

I am ancient– for me, on Saturday mornings we listened to radio program called “Let’s Pretend” — dramas of fairy tales etc. My dad before my turn at the radio, would be listening to Eddie Arnold because Mom was sleeping in (she did not like country music but he could listen then) he would be reading his newspaper, smoking and drinking coffee then went off while we listened to ours. Later in the day we did what all the other kids in town did, went to the Saturday double feature WITH cartoons, 9 cents to get in, 10 cents for popcorn. No wonder i hate to pay $7.00 for a matinee now! I would go with Connie, my best friend in grade school, till we moved to another NE panhandle town. We also had huts and tents and games where we got all sweaty and exhilarated at various times. Boy that was fun!

It has been sad and comforting to hear about the friends lost by FDL friends, and my heart goes out—. Our lives are shaped by our childhoods — and this post has brought wonderful memories flooding back!

I spent every Saturday morning from late February until just before Thanksgiving swimming a mile backstroke, or having practice relays with my teammates. We were good. The smell of cholorine (!!), steam rising from the pool on a cold fall morning, hamburgers with Lawry’s seasoning salt liberally sprinkled on…ah, nostalgia.

And that’s where I was, at the pool eating burgers, when I heard on the radio that my parents’ best friends and their 18 month-old daughter had been kidnapped from their home at 4 am by two escaped killers from Oregon. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt. Mom and baby were let off at a country store in the Sierras (near Sacto) and dad was shot in the leg so he was immobile and left by the side of the road, where he was picked up moments later by the state police, who were following them just out of sight. Hale, the dad, was a high muckity-muck in Pat Brown’s admin, a fact unknown to the killers until they turned on the radio later that morning. Ah, nostalgia…