flatlining“Republicans believe that life begins at conception and ends at birth.” (Rep. Barney Frank)

“Nnnnnggghhhh….” (Terri Schiavo)

Folks, it’s time we did away with one of the strangely persistent myths about the Republican Party. You know the one I’m talking about. Yes, that one, that Republicans are somehow the “pro-life” party. I guess they are, at least in the sense that they oppose a woman’s right to control her reproductive organs and of anyone’s right to die with dignity in the wake of brain-death, but in no other sense could Republican policies be construed to be”pro-life”, could they? Am I missing some big part of the Right that isn’t about killing people and blowing things up?

I thought that the phrase “Culture of Life” had been quietly retired to the GOP’s Home for Spent Talking Points along with “CEO President” and “Stay the Course”, but no, just in the last few days we’ve seen it revived in all its Orwellian unintended irony.

Never mind that the civilian casualty numbers in Iraq have very likely reached a million dead. Never mind that there isn’t a single Right Wing policy initiative that isn’t founded on some form of selfishness or cruelty. The Republicans believe that they’re on the side of the angels, the guardians of “Life” in this country, and no amount of dead Iraqi children or sick and injured American children with no health care is going to change their thinking on that score.

Take for instance (please!) Susan Orr, President Bush’s ultra-creepy, zombie-eyed Talibangelical appointee to head Family Planning services for the Department of Health and Human Services, which is kind of ironic, since she seems to be pretty much diametrically opposed to any form of family planning whatsoever.

Think Progress:

- In a 2001, Orr embraced a Bush administration proposal to “stop requiring all health insurance plans for federal employees” to cover a broad range of birth control. “We’re quite pleased, because fertility is not a disease,” said Orr.

- At the 2001 Conservative Political Action Conference, Orr cheered Bush’s endorsement of Reagan’s “Mexico City Policy,” which required NGOs receiving federal funds to “neither perform nor actively promote abortion as a method of family planning in other nations.” Orr said that it was proof Bush was pro-life “in his heart.”

- In a 2000 Weekly Standard article, Orr railed against requiring health insurance plans to cover contraceptives. “It’s not about choice,” said Orr. “It’s not about health care. It’s about making everyone collaborators with the culture of death.“

Ah, yes, the Culture of Death, which is a different Culture of Death than the one that Republican policies have spawned in Iraq and Afghanistan. I assume that Orr is referring to those of us who think that the best defense against HIV is education and a condom, and that birth-control is the way to stop unwanted pregnancies, rather than passively accepting that prayer, abstinence, and unquestioning obedience to Christian dogma will fix everything. Where do they find these relics? Does the White House’s HR department have a time tunnel to 1955 that they go fishing in when it’s time to fill a job?

Of course, then there’s Mike Huckabee, who says that people who practice safe sex protocols are morally equivalent to domestic abusers and drunk drivers:

In response to a question about whether his religious views gel with the “methods of prevention” that more AIDS funding would imply, Huckabee opined that shrink wrap only should be for sailors (via HuffPo):

“If we really are serious about stopping a problem, whether it’s drunk driving … we don’t say “Don’t drive ‘as drunk’?” …This is an illogical thing that we apply to that one area that we don’t apply to any other area …We don’t say that a little domestic violence is OK, just cut it down a little, just don’t hit quite as hard. We say it’s wrong.”

How making an effort in one’s sex life to minimize any possible harm to others is the same as beating someone or drunkenly slamming your car into a mini-van full of toddlers is, frankly, beyond me. I’m reaching a point where the sound of Republicans talking out of their asses is like the voice of the teachers and other adults in the “Peanuts” specials, “Wah-wah waaaaaah, wah wah-wah waaaaaaah…” Why even bother with trying to make sense of it? It’s all just heinous gibberish.

Add to all this, of course, the Republicans’ stand against S-CHIP and you have to wonder what, exactly, they think is an ideal society. They want to deny everyone access to any form of contraception, but then, in the event of unwanted pregnancies that may arise, there would be no legal abortions. Of course, when you have the unwanted child, you can’t get health care for it unless you’re wealthy or “lucky” enough to be pinned down by some mindless corporate job where you daren’t leave for fear of losing your health insurance.

Do people on the Right think at all? Apparently not. They just believe. Cause and effect? What’s that? Don’t bore us with the facts, you stupid “Libtard”, we have faith, which is basically the same as believing in magic, and that’s no way to run a bake sale, let alone an entire nation.

Please, god, just let it end soon. Otherwise, we’re never going to able to wash the stink off this country.

Related posts:

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  2. Late Night: Birth, Death, Sex & Race
  3. Kent Conrad’s Quaint Views on European Health Systems and American Culture
  4. Pull Up A Chair
  5. Dear Senator: Please Pass Public Option and Save My Life