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Not only is Idaho Senator Larry Craig too damn mulish (and stupid) to step down and go quietly into GOP Rehab and at least make a show of praying away The Gay, he’s simply pretending that the judge didn’t toss out his effort to withdraw his guilty plea and just carrying on with his usual rounds of photo-ops and public appearances. In fact, the folks back home in Idaho just awarded him a very special honor.

Think Progress:

Larry Craig, Hall of Fame inductee.

Sen. Larry Craig has been chosen for induction into the Idaho Hall of Fame. Some Republicans said the honor is inappropriate now. Kootenai County Republican precinct committeeman Phil Thompson said Idaho Hall of Fame officials should consider at least postponing the induction. ‘Maybe in 10 or 15 years we can think of this hall of fame stuff. Now is not the time,’ he said. ‘It’s a sad day to be a Republican.’” October 7, 2007 8:00 pm

Have I been blogging too long that the first time I saw that I thought it was a joke nomination by a gay group inducting Craig into their Hall of Flame?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

At press time, my sources have been unable to confirm whether a mysterious spiderweb spelling out the words, “SOME PIG” outside Senator Craig’s pen had anything to do with the Hall of Fame’s decision. Oh, and Phil Thompson, sir, with all due respect, every day is “a sad day to be a Republican”.

You poor slobs are just now figuring out what sensible people in this country have known for years, I guess. The Republican/Conservative lifestyle is a sad and lonely place built on superficiality, illusion, and lies. It has no place in our schools, our churches, or in our lives. It is a threat to our children and to the great values that our nation was founded on, i.e., religious tolerance, a secular government, and the rights of the individual, etc.

Need more proof? Well, okay, here’s a riddle. What do Larry Craig and Ted Haggard have in common? No, no, not that they’re both closeted hypocrites who preach one thing and do another, although you’re close. No, not that they both have utterly miserable, long-suffering wives, either, although the Russian judge says he would need to see a photo replay to disqualify your answer.

Give up?

Both men allegedly sought the services of the same muscle-bound gay escort.

The male escort responsible for the downfall of Christian evangelist leader Ted Haggard is now alleging that embattled Senator Larry Craig also came to see him.

File this one under “Things That Make You Go Ewwww”. Mike Rogers of BlogActive says that Mike “Meth and Man Ass” Jones is fibbing about this, but that’s not stopping me from clapping my tiny forelimbs in delight and squealing, “Oooooh, details!“, at least until I have seen persuasive evidence from one side or the other.

Jones is not alleging that he has had sex with Senator Craig but that he is alleging the senator came to see him.

“One of the things I was good at was figuring out what people did for a living when they came to see me by things they said or their actions,” Jones said on-air Wednesday night.

“So be in a position where you have to guess what people did for a living, occupation-wise. Someone comes in to you and the first question they say to you is ‘do you follow politics?’ and you would say, ‘yes’. ‘Oh.’ ‘the weather is cold outside, isn’t it? What would you think that person is involved with?

“I will just tell you a gentleman came in and said that exact thing to me.

“Did he look similar to Senator Craig?” Feingold asked.

“I’ve been with many politicians and all I can tell you is for a fact, that Larry Craig is a hypocrite.”

Well, duh. He’s a Republican, isn’t he? That’s kind of part of the job description. “Must type at least 40wpm, chew with an open mouth, and indulge in desperately filthy sexual behaviors and lie about it while viciously attacking people for having normal, healthy sex lives.”

About covers it, I should think. Hey, send your resumes to the RNC. There’s no telling how many of their presidential candidates will get busted doing something unspeakably perverse in a public toilet, a sleazy hotel room, or in the Capitol’s parking deck between now and primary season. You just might have a shot at the nomination.

You couldn’t do much worse than their current batch of hopefuls. In spite of the entry of Hollywood Fred Thompson into the race, “I Don’t Know” and an Asian chop salad from Houlihan’s are still placing ahead of the front-runners in a recent poll of registered Republicans. And that’s before the Dobson Party have launched their own candidate, an Only Evangelicals Can Be This Stupid move that promises to provide every liberal blogger in the country with a veritable bonanza of material. And that’ll all be fun and games until their guy gets busted with a couple of teenage hustlers and an eight ball of crystal meth in a raid on some seedy DC bath house.

I can hardly wait!