Crashing Karl’s Pity Party

Leslie Gore, You Don’t Own Me…

Taking dissembling and buck-passing to a new level of art form, Karl Rove would like you to know that he’s misunderstood and ripe for redemption.  No really.  I’m not kidding.  In an article entitled: An Exit Toward Soul-Searching (Via WaPo):

Karl Rove keeps a newspaper picture of I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby and his wife on the day Vice President Cheney’s former chief of staff was convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice in the CIA leak case. Rove says he holds onto it to remember. “I’m really sad about Scooter,” he said. Although he does not say it, the picture may also be a reminder of what he avoided.

Soul-searching, my ass.  It’s called viable marketing reputation enhancement.  Yes, I’m certain Mrs. Libby appreciates the tender loyalty of Turdblossom’s sentiment, seeing how Karl helped fuel the bus for Scooter’s legal demise and all. But wait, there’s more.

Rove adamantly denies doing anything wrong, but the investigation, which hung over him for years before special counsel Patrick J. Fitzgerald decided against seeking an indictment, gave more grist to enemies who see a ruthless, Machiavellian player willing to destroy his critics. Rove sees it the other way around; he sees a hunt for a crime that did not exist.

The investigation, Rove said, was his lowest moment at Bush’s side. “It was really hard for me,” he said. “I’m not bitter about it. But I’ll tell you, my wife is bitter about all the people who carry those little badges that say, ‘Press.’ “

Hold on there, Quick Draw. Let’s take a trip on the wayback machine and see who was manipulating whom with the media. Does the name Gold Bars Luskin ring a bell for anyone?  Try this on for size.  Or this.  And this:

In old “Gold Bars Luskin,” it sounds like Rove found the perfect, morally flexible counterpart to do what it takes to get him off the hook. And as for his “skill” in handling the press, it seems about as ham-handed as Karl’s own efforts.

According to the NY Observer this morning, Luskin is still angry at Matt Cooper because “[i]t just looks to me like there was less a desire to protect a source.” Maybe he’s still just a tad scalded because he blabbed to the press that “[i]f Matt Cooper is going to jail to protect a source, it’s not Karl he’s protecting,” and Cooper’s lawyer seized on it to get his client a waiver?

Ah yes, memories, light the corners of our archives. Hello, members of the media? It’s called Lexis/Nexis and Google. Try using it before you just print the spin, for hell’s sakes.  Because, frankly, with his track record, I’m just not buying the Turdblossom’s latest spin job. 

The fact that Karl comes right out and puts words in the mouth of someone else — in this case, of his wife about the press — is simply a tip-off that he’s about to lie.  It’s one of his tells.  The fact that Rove and Gold Bars Luskin spun the media like a lopsided washing machine load on full throttle throughout the whole of the Traitorgate investigation doesn’t count for diddly if the reporter in question doesn’t bother to verify any of the quotes and fact check, now does it?

Karl doesn’t own you, members of the press — try remembering it once in a while.

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