le tombeau(Graphic by Jesus’ General)

Dear David Brock-

Hello, I hope this letter finds you well. I know that we’ve never met or spoken and all, but I need to have a word with you about something.

I was reading this piece at Media Matters where Bill O’Reilly appears to be transferring his undying hatred of Andrea Mackris on to you. This is what he said about Mackris in 2004:

“If any woman ever breathed a word I’ll make her pay so dearly that she’ll wish she’d never been born. I’ll rake her through the mud, bring up things in her life and make her so miserable that she’ll be destroyed. And besides, she wouldn’t be able to afford the lawyers I can or endure it financially as long as I can. And nobody would believe her, it’d be her word against mine and who are they going to believe? Me or some unstable woman making outrageous accusations. They’d see her as some psycho, someone unstable. Besides, I’d never make the mistake of picking unstable crazy girls like that.”

And this is what he said about you, yesterday:

Summary: Bill O’Reilly lashed out at Media Matters for America President and CEO David Brock for what O’Reilly called “the vicious far-left assaults on me and Rush Limbaugh over the past few days.” After calling Brock “a hatchet man,” O’Reilly stated: “[A]t this point, this guy has emerged as the biggest villain, in my opinion, in the country. He’ll do anything. He’ll say anything — doesn’t matter if it’s true — for money.”

Okay, now, I understand that you are the poisoned tip of the spear that is our campaign here on The Far Left to bring Asst. Principal O’Reilly to his knees and ultimately make him go so crazy that he flames out in some spectacular and highly visible fashion. I understand that you share my goal of seeing that Bill-O is forced into early retirement to live out his days in despair and ignominy, but frankly, I think it’s time you backed off and gave the rest of us out here a chance, dawg.

In the last few months, O’Really has aggressively smeared Markos Moulitsas, yourself, and even my own friend and editor, Jane Hamsher. He has called you all (and by extension the whole Left Blogging community) “fascists”, “Nazis”, and the new Ku Klux Klan. On yesterday’s show, he brought in some hoary old nag from the Heritage Foundation to cluck and shake her head along with him about your record as a partisan hit-man and knife-thrower, because, of course, there is no greater voice for non-partisan action than the Heritage Foundation, who have never set the attack dogs on to anyone in America, ever.

O’Reilly even goes so far as to speculate that Emmanuel Goldstein George Soros is paying you nearly $200,000 a year to sully and ruin the careers of Right Wing demagogues. (Do you have a boyfriend, by the way? I can cook real good…)

Now, O’Reilly does all of his own partisan ax-jobs pro bono, I know, but given that you guys at Media Matters are already rolling in stacks and stacks of sweet, sweet Soros money and your media presence reaches from one end of the galaxy to the other, I would like you to maybe back off and give some of us little guys a break. No one has compared me to Hitler since, oh, at least fall of 2006, and starting to feel a little left out, here.

Now, I know what you’re going to say, that Media Matters is ultimately just a mirror, that all you guys do is hold the things that come out of Right Wingers’ mouths up to the light, providing detailed transcripts and video and audio whenever possible, but clearly there must be more to it. Why else would Bill-O think you’re the most serious threat to his media empire since those court filings went live on The Smoking Gun in 2004?

Look at what else he said about you:

O’REILLY: Well, there’s no question that this guy’s a hatchet man. I mean, nobody on earth –

WOOD: Yeah.

O’REILLY: – could read his stuff and come to the — a conclusion that he’s not a hatchet man. He is.

WOOD: Yeah.

O’REILLY: The matter is how calculated is he? Or does he sell himself to the highest bidder? Now, he’s being paid a lot of money to put out this dishonest garbage, which he does. He has, obviously, mainstream media access, which the right wing does not have…

(Do what, Bill? You guys have your own fucking network! It’s called Pox News, dumbass…hello?!)

…because the right wing has character assassins, too.

Shut. Up. And I thought that all this was just Ann Coulter’s way of being friendly.

WOOD: Sure.

O’REILLY: But at this point, this guy has emerged as the biggest villain, in my opinion, in the country. He’ll do anything. He’ll say anything — doesn’t matter if it’s true — for money.

Damn, David. Don’t you have enough? Spare a thought for us wee Late Nite bloggers, far off the beaten path, hidden away from the eyes of most of the Far Right Freak Show. It’s looking increasingly like O’Reilly is going to pop a blood vessel on TeeVee soon enough. Please don’t deny me my chance at infamy, my shot at immortality in the pantheon of Lefty Assassins, possibly my only shot.

Please. You can make a difference. Give a Theropod a chance.

Thank you for your prompt attention regarding this matter.

Sincerely,
T.Rex, Esq.

P.S. Please tell Eric Bohlert I said thanks for the awesome shout-out in his masterful take-down of Juan Williams yesterday. Thanks!

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