Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go slash my wrists Roman-style in the bath.
I just ran into My Evil Ex and his boyfriend at the grocery store. If I’d had some warning that I was about to see my ex, I might have been okay, but there they were, happy little stepford gays.
This is the guy who, after seven years, took up with his new boyfriend less than a month after we split up. (Actually, they were already having sex before we formally ended it.)
They’re buying a house together and they’re really happy and blah, blah, blah-de-fucking-blah.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go slash my wrists Roman-style in the bath.
I just ran into My Evil Ex and his boyfriend at the grocery store. If I’d had some warning that I was about to see my ex, I might have been okay, but there they were, happy little stepford gays.
This is the guy who, after seven years, took up with his new boyfriend less than a month after we split up. (Actually, they were already having sex before we formally ended it.)
They’re buying a house together and they’re really happy and blah, blah, blah-de-fucking-blah.
“But, Burnsie, for the last two weeks you’ve been saying you hated baseball.”
I did hate it when the team I have rooted for since I was seven years old was in the throes of an unprecedented meltdown. I’m past that, I have no dog in this fight, and I can just appreciate the game for its own sake.
Get over it, TRex. You don’t know it, but they’re undoubtedly very jealous of you for too many reasons to list, not least of which is your being HST’s heir. They’re just, as you say, “happy little stepford gays…”
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go slash my wrists Roman-style in the bath.
I just ran into My Evil Ex and his boyfriend at the grocery store. If I’d had some warning that I was about to see my ex, I might have been okay, but there they were, happy little stepford gays.
This is the guy who, after seven years, took up with his new boyfriend less than a month after we split up. (Actually, they were already having sex before we formally ended it.)
They’re buying a house together and they’re really happy and blah, blah, blah-de-fucking-blah.
I wish I was dead.
You have more talent in one finger than both of them have in their whole bodies combined. They just have a mortgage.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go slash my wrists Roman-style in the bath.
I just ran into My Evil Ex and his boyfriend at the grocery store. If I’d had some warning that I was about to see my ex, I might have been okay, but there they were, happy little stepford gays.
This is the guy who, after seven years, took up with his new boyfriend less than a month after we split up. (Actually, they were already having sex before we formally ended it.)
They’re buying a house together and they’re really happy and blah, blah, blah-de-fucking-blah.
I wish I was dead.
Ugh. I hate those random ex encounters. Thank god mine lives an entire state away in Columbus OH. Don’t let them get to you like that, you know theyre having the same hateful arguments you guys used to have in private.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go slash my wrists Roman-style in the bath.
I just ran into My Evil Ex and his boyfriend at the grocery store. If I’d had some warning that I was about to see my ex, I might have been okay, but there they were, happy little stepford gays.
This is the guy who, after seven years, took up with his new boyfriend less than a month after we split up. (Actually, they were already having sex before we formally ended it.)
They’re buying a house together and they’re really happy and blah, blah, blah-de-fucking-blah.
I wish I was dead.
Don’t let them f**k with your head. You are a Big-Ass International Celebrity with Gazillions of Worshippers. They are just two silly little men. Perspective.
Darling TRex, they will never qualify for a mortgage. And if they do, it’ll balloon and leave them homeless in one year. And if it doesn’t, termites will eat them out of house and home. And if they don’t — oh, you get the idea.
You know you are better off without him. Who wants a predictable Stepford Life when you have — US!!
there ya go, trex, katymine has your bath all ready to be bathed with reassurance - and you will fit better into that than my little horrid avocado green tub.
I am still asking how someone could strangle themselves while being handcuffed behind their back.
A**hole cops. They stepped into it big time because the woman that died was from a wealthy, prominent New York family.
Yeah we sure don’t hear anything about the “illegals” who die in ICE custody, do we? But one white, well-connected mother dies in TSA custody and CNN is all over it. I do feel for her family, but people die every day in the police state’s custody. The societal imbalance represented by the publicity this story gets is appalling.
sorry to hear about the unpleasant encounter TRex. hard for me to relate, as my only significant ex is our daughter’s (secular) god-mother. (long story.)
on that note, an EPU:
TRex, great post…very timely, on the occasion of punaisette’s 14th birthday today.
there ya go, trex, katymine has your bath all ready to be bathed with reassurance - and you will fit better into that than my little horrid avocado green tub.
OMG I hate avocado green anything. Especially bathrooms and the worst are stoves and refriegerators. What kind of lunatics thought that color would be just awesome to paint everything made in the 70s?
sorry to hear about the unpleasant encounter TRex. hard for me to relate, as my only significant ex is our daughter’s (secular) god-mother. (long story.)
on that note, an EPU:
TRex, great post…very timely, on the occasion of punaisette’s 14th birthday today.
Hey! I share a birfday wit your daughter! Cool! Only, I’m like 22 yrs older.
Darling TRex, they will never qualify for a mortgage. And if they do, it’ll balloon and leave them homeless in one year. And if it doesn’t, termites will eat them out of house and home. And if they don’t — oh, you get the idea.
You know you are better off without him. Who wants a predictable Stepford Life when you have — US!!
excellent.
thanks tsf.
this is totally better than any reassurance i could offer.
well, other than that i think you’re a cool guy.
tsf said it better.
Somewhere in the deep dark recesses of my mind I recall a Lenny Bruce bit about how we use the word ‘fuck’. I don’t recall the exact words but it boiled down to this. Why would you tell people who annoy you to go and get fucked. Fucking is nice, why would you wish that for someone you can’t stand? What we should say is ‘unfuck’ meaning “may you never fuck again.” So, unfuck em’
By the way, for the record, I do not use the term birthday because honestly, you only have on actual birthday. All the rest of them are the anniversaries of your birth, which is too long to say. That’s why I use the vernacular, birfday.
ydj — i am in awe of your ability to land on the comment number you select, even when we’re in triple digits. other than that, yeah, i am cooler than you.
sorry to hear about the unpleasant encounter TRex. hard for me to relate, as my only significant ex is our daughter’s (secular) god-mother. (long story.)
on that note, an EPU:
Hey! I share a birfday wit your daughter! Cool! Only, I’m like 22 yrs older.
Somewhere in the deep dark recesses of my mind I recall a Lenny Bruce bit about how we use the word ‘fuck’. I don’t recall the exact words but it boiled down to this. Why would you tell people who annoy you to go and get fucked. Fucking is nice, why would you wish that for someone you can’t stand? What we should say is ‘unfuck’ meaning “may you never fuck again.” So, unfuck em’
That’s a great bit. The punch line is “Fuck you, Ma!”
A**hole cops. They stepped into it big time because the woman that died was from a wealthy, prominent New York family.
Yeah we sure don’t hear anything about the “illegals” who die in ICE custody, do we? But one white, well-connected mother dies in TSA custody and CNN is all over it. I do feel for her family, but people die every day in the police state’s custody. The societal imbalance represented by the publicity this story gets is appalling.
Come ride with me through the veils of history,
I’ll show you a God falls asleep on the job,
How can we win when fools can be kings?
Don’t waste your time or time will waste you
No-one’s going to take me alive
The time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive
No-one’s going to take me alive
The time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive
No-one’s going to take me alive
The time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive
enjoy that 14th birthday with punaisette! we’re undergoing the second week of hard empty nest. both kids gone to college for real. the food sure lasts longer, though, especially crackers and ice cream.
Yeah we sure don’t hear anything about the “illegals” who die in ICE custody, do we? But one white, well-connected mother dies in TSA custody and CNN is all over it. I do feel for her family, but people die every day in the police state’s custody. The societal imbalance represented by the publicity this story gets is appalling.
And TRex, we loooooooove you!
So true. ICE, Blackwater, NOPD, LAPD, SFPD, etc.
It does seem like the word came down, nationwide - kick ass and who cares about names.
Did you say, I can’t talk right now I have a few thousand people waiting on me..)
*smacks forehead*
Dammit, Eureka. I should have texted you from the produce aisle.
GOD IT WAS SO AWFUL.
My composure completely decomposed when I realized who I was looking at. So, I beat a hasty retreat through baked goods and grabbed some organic salsa from the edge of the deli, then ran, ran, ran to get in line and get out before they saw me.
I totally blew it. I got so flustered it took me four tries to get my debit card and PIN entered. I was hot-faced and suddenly soaked in sweat and nothing was going into the cart right.
But then I thought I had almost made it, I was gently tucking the stargazer lilies into the baby basket on my cart when Jimmy said, “Hey, David!”
I tried to ignore him.
“Hey! DAVID!”
Oh, go piss up a rope.
*big fake smile*
“Hey, how are you?” and I could tell from the phony cheeriness in my voice that it was abundantly clear that they had caught me furiously trying to scuttle away.
“Good, how are you?”
It was the first time I’d laid eyes on New Boyfriend. He is, of course, exquisitely handsome.
“Oh, I’m good,” I said, then furiously bolted for the door, cart rattling, telegraphing my shame aloud to the ENTIRE STORE.
The AZ spin on this story…. she was yelling and screaming because she missed a flight from PHX to Tucson….. on the way to Rehab [oh another loony] and the autopsy will be in a few days. NY family is sending an expert to be there and assist with the autopsy.
Sky Harbor Airport was first to get that puffer screener, the first to get the X-ray screener and loves to hire TSA who SCREAM at paying Airline customers.
enjoy that 14th birthday with punaisette! we’re undergoing the second week of hard empty nest. both kids gone to college for real. the food sure lasts longer, though, especially crackers and ice cream.
thanks ET. we’re still adjusting to semi-emptynesterhood, with punaise jr. off to college barely ten days ago. his sis gets all the parental scrutiny now…
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go slash my wrists Roman-style in the bath.
I just ran into My Evil Ex and his boyfriend at the grocery store. If I’d had some warning that I was about to see my ex, I might have been okay, but there they were, happy little stepford gays.
This is the guy who, after seven years, took up with his new boyfriend less than a month after we split up. (Actually, they were already having sex before we formally ended it.)
They’re buying a house together and they’re really happy and blah, blah, blah-de-fucking-blah.
I wish I was dead.
Don’t be discouraged, TRex. I had that happen to me. This girl had been after my boyfriend of 5 years (the one I was ‘too fat’ for at 140 lbs!) practically the whole time we were together, and she finally got him. Wouldn’t marry me after 5 years - 6 months later they were married. Kicked my ass. I felt like I must be the most undesirable person in the world.
10 years later, I run into her in Orlando (where I used to live) and shake her hand for doing me the favor of taking him away. I found my true love, have 3 kids - fat ‘n’ happy. She, meanwhile, is all miserable because he was just as selfish with her as he was with me.
You’re quality, TRex. One day you’ll be thanking Mr. Stepford.
there ya go, trex, katymine has your bath all ready to be bathed with reassurance - and you will fit better into that than my little horrid avocado green tub.
OMG I hate avocado green anything. Especially bathrooms and the worst are stoves and refriegerators. What kind of lunatics thought that color would be just awesome to paint everything made in the 70s?
He had a fancy for harvest gold and some pumpkin color, too.
trex - that is only your perception of it - i bet they went home and the discussion of how great you looked caused a huge fight and accusations of jealousy and tears.
Please tell her that her uncle TRex instructs her to never, ever, ever, EVAR!!!1!1!1eleven!1! fall in love with anyone, ever. Love is a dog from Hell that will tear out your heart and leave you wandering the earth with a big gaping hole in your chest until you die alone in a room that smells of cat urine.
trex, don’t make me smack ya with this pity towel - you are better off without that lowlife stepford arse - rat bastoid is not good enough for you anywhere no how and you are better off without him.
remember all the pain he caused you and be thankful he is not a part of your life anymore.
Somewhere in the deep dark recesses of my mind I recall a Lenny Bruce bit about how we use the word ‘fuck’. I don’t recall the exact words but it boiled down to this. Why would you tell people who annoy you to go and get fucked. Fucking is nice, why would you wish that for someone you can’t stand? What we should say is ‘unfuck’ meaning “may you never fuck again.” So, unfuck em’
That’s a great bit. The punch line is “Fuck you, Ma!”
Ah, I’d forgotten the punch line. It’s been a long, long time since I heard it.
Please tell her that her uncle TRex instructs her to never, ever, ever, EVAR!!!1!1!1eleven!1! fall in love with anyone, ever. Love is a dog from Hell that will tear out your heart and leave you wandering the earth with a big gaping hole in your chest until you die alone in a room that smells of cat urine.
SO DON’T DO IT!
no can do, amigo. I can’t let her see you like this. come on, big fella, snap out of it. that’s all ancient history. your prince charmant is out there somewhere.
I have the most serious crush on Mr. Izzard.
When I was in the recovery room from my mastectomy the nurse asked me if I was in any pain. They had given me massive amounts of morphine. From what my husband says I did the Eddie Izzard bit when he says “Chow” and pretends to be on a vespa. Cake or Death? Cake God Damnit!!!! Death will come soon enough.
ydj — i am in awe of your ability to land on the comment number you select, even when we’re in triple digits. other than that, yeah, i am cooler than you.
uh, with the edit function … one could nail it every time …
not that i would do that.
You don’t know that half of it sister. At least the broken bones in my foot knitted back together after a year.
That was the time he knocked me down and stomped on my hands and feet.
You guys will be glad to know, though, that I actually broke the bones in my foot kicking him in the gut and sending him flying up against the opposite wall.
Eddie Izzard is one of the funniest people alive today. I have all of his specials, and on the nights that the depression is kicking me while I am down I pop one in and laugh until it hurts. Who needs Prozac when Izzard does the same job?
Come ride with me through the veils of history,
I’ll show you a God falls asleep on the job,
How can we win when fools can be kings?
Don’t waste your time or time will waste you
No-one’s going to take me alive
The time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive
No-one’s going to take me alive
The time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive
No-one’s going to take me alive
The time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive
You don’t know that half of it sister. At least the broken bones in my foot knitted back together after a year.
That was the time he knocked me down and stomped on my hands and feet.
You guys will be glad to know, though, that I actually broke the bones in my foot kicking him in the gut and sending him flying up against the opposite wall.
Wheee!
Ain’t love grand?
Why is hardest to get over the meanest people? Are we just hankering to be accepted by the unacceptable? Don’t ya just hate that sh*t?
trex, did you see the comment upthread about the new annie lennox album?
Yes.
*pouts*
I refuse to be cheered.
Big-Ass International Celebrities with Gazillions of Worshippers do not wallow in self-pity (except for comedic effect). Snap out of it — there’s fuckery afoot, and we need you to ATTACK!!!
Did you say, I can’t talk right now I have a few thousand people waiting on me..)
*smacks forehead*
Dammit, Eureka. I should have texted you from the produce aisle.
GOD IT WAS SO AWFUL.
My composure completely decomposed when I realized who I was looking at. So, I beat a hasty retreat through baked goods and grabbed some organic salsa from the edge of the deli, then ran, ran, ran to get in line and get out before they saw me.
I totally blew it. I got so flustered it took me four tries to get my debit card and PIN entered. I was hot-faced and suddenly soaked in sweat and nothing was going into the cart right.
But then I thought I had almost made it, I was gently tucking the stargazer lilies into the baby basket on my cart when Jimmy said, “Hey, David!”
I tried to ignore him.
“Hey! DAVID!”
Oh, go piss up a rope.
*big fake smile*
“Hey, how are you?” and I could tell from the phony cheeriness in my voice that it was abundantly clear that they had caught me furiously trying to scuttle away.
“Good, how are you?”
It was the first time I’d laid eyes on New Boyfriend. He is, of course, exquisitely handsome.
“Oh, I’m good,” I said, then furiously bolted for the door, cart rattling, telegraphing my shame aloud to the ENTIRE STORE.
Oh, fine. Here you have to come along and remind me how happy I am to know you and how glad I am that you’re not going to have to go through chemotherapy and make me feel like a total shitheel about having a big bratty tantrum about my ex beating me to the New Boyfriend finish line by two years.
see, trex, you are better off without him. what got ya tonight is that you were not prepared mentally to run into him. but now you have done that and survived and it reinforces that you are better off without him. fucker stomped your hands and feet (spitting) - don’t waste your time and energy on him, trex, he’s not fucking worth it (spitting again)
You don’t know that half of it sister. At least the broken bones in my foot knitted back together after a year.
That was the time he knocked me down and stomped on my hands and feet.
You guys will be glad to know, though, that I actually broke the bones in my foot kicking him in the gut and sending him flying up against the opposite wall.
Wheee!
Ain’t love grand?
That ain’t love, my brotha. You’re doing some inside work right now, so you’ll be ready for a real man. You’re in transition.
trex - that is only your perception of it - i bet they went home and the discussion of how great you looked caused a huge fight and accusations of jealousy and tears.
trex - that is only your perception of it - i bet they went home and the discussion of how great you looked caused a huge fight and accusations of jealousy and tears.
And impotence.
for both of em, the ex and his hung like a bee new boyfriend
trex - that is only your perception of it - i bet they went home and the discussion of how great you looked caused a huge fight and accusations of jealousy and tears.
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zed?
ZED! I never zedded before.
two?
Hi TRex!
4?
Congrats, mary — now please let those downstairs know we’re up here….
mary, i hope it didn’t hurt too much, what with it being your first time and all…
suz!
EPU’d:
finifinito @ 345
tenish?
This is such a classicly good cover. XD Loved it back in ‘97. Never seen the actual video though. *peers*
TRex! That’s one of my favorite Cake videos!
Suzanne @ 7
I can’t believe you said that. You are evil incarnate. And you owe me a new laptop.
Yay, Mary!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go slash my wrists Roman-style in the bath.
I just ran into My Evil Ex and his boyfriend at the grocery store. If I’d had some warning that I was about to see my ex, I might have been okay, but there they were, happy little stepford gays.
This is the guy who, after seven years, took up with his new boyfriend less than a month after we split up. (Actually, they were already having sex before we formally ended it.)
They’re buying a house together and they’re really happy and blah, blah, blah-de-fucking-blah.
I wish I was dead.
TRex @ 14
Horrid, horrid little people. I have them, too.
I am still asking how someone could strangle themselves while being handcuffed behind their back.
Come on, guys, you’re supposed to be bathing me in reassurances right now.
I mean I hate them, too.
katymine @ 16
A**hole cops. They stepped into it big time because the woman that died was from a wealthy, prominent New York family.
I love baseball.
“But, Burnsie, for the last two weeks you’ve been saying you hated baseball.”
I did hate it when the team I have rooted for since I was seven years old was in the throes of an unprecedented meltdown. I’m past that, I have no dog in this fight, and I can just appreciate the game for its own sake.
pouring massive amounts of reassurance into the bathtub but not sure how you are gonna fit trex. its a human sized tub
Get over it, TRex. You don’t know it, but they’re undoubtedly very jealous of you for too many reasons to list, not least of which is your being HST’s heir. They’re just, as you say, “happy little stepford gays…”
TRex @ 14
You have more talent in one finger than both of them have in their whole bodies combined. They just have a mortgage.
TRex @ 14
Ugh. I hate those random ex encounters. Thank god mine lives an entire state away in Columbus OH. Don’t let them get to you like that, you know theyre having the same hateful arguments you guys used to have in private.
TRex @ 17
Did you say, I can’t talk right now I have a few thousand people waiting on me..)
(((TRex))) …fuckem
TRex @ 14
Don’t let them f**k with your head. You are a Big-Ass International Celebrity with Gazillions of Worshippers. They are just two silly little men. Perspective.
better yet, es, trex, don’t fuck ‘em
trex, they don’t get a roar from a crowd simply by saying ‘i blog as trex at firedoglake’
Darling TRex, they will never qualify for a mortgage. And if they do, it’ll balloon and leave them homeless in one year. And if it doesn’t, termites will eat them out of house and home. And if they don’t — oh, you get the idea.
You know you are better off without him. Who wants a predictable Stepford Life when you have — US!!
Suzanne…. went and poured all the reassurance into my 25,000 gallon 9.0 foot deep diving pool… pumping running and water is still around 80 degrees
Suzanne @ 27
well, I guess.
marymccurnin @ 2
Ya lost your Zedginity!!! Congrats, I ran out to BK, and their broiler was down, hmmm, conspiracy?
there ya go, trex, katymine has your bath all ready to be bathed with reassurance - and you will fit better into that than my little horrid avocado green tub.
The will make you happy.
marymccurnin @ 19
Yeah we sure don’t hear anything about the “illegals” who die in ICE custody, do we? But one white, well-connected mother dies in TSA custody and CNN is all over it. I do feel for her family, but people die every day in the police state’s custody. The societal imbalance represented by the publicity this story gets is appalling.
And TRex, we loooooooove you!
sorry to hear about the unpleasant encounter TRex. hard for me to relate, as my only significant ex is our daughter’s (secular) god-mother. (long story.)
on that note, an EPU:
Suzanne @ 33
OMG I hate avocado green anything. Especially bathrooms and the worst are stoves and refriegerators. What kind of lunatics thought that color would be just awesome to paint everything made in the 70s?
Suzanne @ 28
Yeah!
I bet the grocery store cashier doesn’t even like them.
Was listening to the new album by Mark Olson (ex-Jayhawks) earlier this evening. It’s really good.
Oh, Mr. TRex, would it cheer you up a bit to know that there is a new Annie Lennox album coming out tomorrow?
happy 14th punaisette
punaise @ 36
Hey! I share a birfday wit your daughter! Cool! Only, I’m like 22 yrs older.
TeddySanFran @ 29
excellent.
thanks tsf.
this is totally better than any reassurance i could offer.
well, other than that i think you’re a cool guy.
tsf said it better.
and you have US!!
Suzanne @ 27
Somewhere in the deep dark recesses of my mind I recall a Lenny Bruce bit about how we use the word ‘fuck’. I don’t recall the exact words but it boiled down to this. Why would you tell people who annoy you to go and get fucked. Fucking is nice, why would you wish that for someone you can’t stand? What we should say is ‘unfuck’ meaning “may you never fuck again.” So, unfuck em’
katymine @ 16
Is that what the autopsy showed?
By the way, for the record, I do not use the term birthday because honestly, you only have on actual birthday. All the rest of them are the anniversaries of your birth, which is too long to say. That’s why I use the vernacular, birfday.
ydj — i am in awe of your ability to land on the comment number you select, even when we’re in triple digits. other than that, yeah, i am cooler than you.
finifinito @ 41
Dang, fini, Happy Birthday!!! And, Punaisette!!!
persiflage @ 43
That’s a great bit. The punch line is “Fuck you, Ma!”
yo, fini, I always knew there was something special about you!
joyeux anniversaire!
TeddySanFran @ 35
So true. ICE, Blackwater, NOPD, LAPD, SFPD, etc.
OH, my contribution to tonight’s jukebox is a really cool song lyrically.
“Knights of Cydonia”
by Muse
Come ride with me through the veils of history,
I’ll show you a God falls asleep on the job,
How can we win when fools can be kings?
Don’t waste your time or time will waste you
No-one’s going to take me alive
The time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive
No-one’s going to take me alive
The time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive
No-one’s going to take me alive
The time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive
TeddySanFran @ 35
I believe luuuurvvv is the (un)commonly accepted spelling.
punaise,
enjoy that 14th birthday with punaisette! we’re undergoing the second week of hard empty nest. both kids gone to college for real. the food sure lasts longer, though, especially crackers and ice cream.
marymccurnin @ 50
It does seem like the word came down, nationwide - kick ass and who cares about names.
*smacks forehead*
Dammit, Eureka. I should have texted you from the produce aisle.
GOD IT WAS SO AWFUL.
My composure completely decomposed when I realized who I was looking at. So, I beat a hasty retreat through baked goods and grabbed some organic salsa from the edge of the deli, then ran, ran, ran to get in line and get out before they saw me.
I totally blew it. I got so flustered it took me four tries to get my debit card and PIN entered. I was hot-faced and suddenly soaked in sweat and nothing was going into the cart right.
But then I thought I had almost made it, I was gently tucking the stargazer lilies into the baby basket on my cart when Jimmy said, “Hey, David!”
I tried to ignore him.
“Hey! DAVID!”
Oh, go piss up a rope.
*big fake smile*
“Hey, how are you?” and I could tell from the phony cheeriness in my voice that it was abundantly clear that they had caught me furiously trying to scuttle away.
“Good, how are you?”
It was the first time I’d laid eyes on New Boyfriend. He is, of course, exquisitely handsome.
“Oh, I’m good,” I said, then furiously bolted for the door, cart rattling, telegraphing my shame aloud to the ENTIRE STORE.
I die, I die.
Always a good time for Lenny Bruce.
TRex, you have all the comfort I can offer. Goodnight, all.
The AZ spin on this story…. she was yelling and screaming because she missed a flight from PHX to Tucson….. on the way to Rehab [oh another loony] and the autopsy will be in a few days. NY family is sending an expert to be there and assist with the autopsy.
Sky Harbor Airport was first to get that puffer screener, the first to get the X-ray screener and loves to hire TSA who SCREAM at paying Airline customers.
Ed*ard Teller @ 53
thanks ET. we’re still adjusting to semi-emptynesterhood, with punaise jr. off to college barely ten days ago. his sis gets all the parental scrutiny now…
Damn you, TRex. I now have to listen to my whole Cake collection.
::drives husband nuts with “Sheep Go to Heaven”::
TRex @ 14
Don’t be discouraged, TRex. I had that happen to me. This girl had been after my boyfriend of 5 years (the one I was ‘too fat’ for at 140 lbs!) practically the whole time we were together, and she finally got him. Wouldn’t marry me after 5 years - 6 months later they were married. Kicked my ass. I felt like I must be the most undesirable person in the world.
10 years later, I run into her in Orlando (where I used to live) and shake her hand for doing me the favor of taking him away. I found my true love, have 3 kids - fat ‘n’ happy. She, meanwhile, is all miserable because he was just as selfish with her as he was with me.
You’re quality, TRex. One day you’ll be thanking Mr. Stepford.
finifinito @ 37
He had a fancy for harvest gold and some pumpkin color, too.
trex - that is only your perception of it - i bet they went home and the discussion of how great you looked caused a huge fight and accusations of jealousy and tears.
TRex @ 14
Sorry, you can’t have death, you already asked for cake! *g*
(Seriously, he clearly wasn’t worthy of you; leave them to their sterile Stepford existence.)
Happy birthday to punaisette.
Please tell her that her uncle TRex instructs her to never, ever, ever, EVAR!!!1!1!1eleven!1! fall in love with anyone, ever. Love is a dog from Hell that will tear out your heart and leave you wandering the earth with a big gaping hole in your chest until you die alone in a room that smells of cat urine.
SO DON’T DO IT!
trex, did you see the comment upthread about the new annie lennox album?
trex, don’t make me smack ya with this pity towel - you are better off without that lowlife stepford arse - rat bastoid is not good enough for you anywhere no how and you are better off without him.
remember all the pain he caused you and be thankful he is not a part of your life anymore.
Suzanne @ 66
Yes.
*pouts*
I refuse to be cheered.
TJ @ 57
Nite, TJ!!!
burnspbesq @ 48
Ah, I’d forgotten the punch line. It’s been a long, long time since I heard it.
TRex @ 65
no can do, amigo. I can’t let her see you like this. come on, big fella, snap out of it. that’s all ancient history. your prince charmant is out there somewhere.
I have the most serious crush on Mr. Izzard.
When I was in the recovery room from my mastectomy the nurse asked me if I was in any pain. They had given me massive amounts of morphine. From what my husband says I did the Eddie Izzard bit when he says “Chow” and pretends to be on a vespa. Cake or Death? Cake God Damnit!!!! Death will come soon enough.
dont make me use all 3 names, trex
TeddySanFran @ 46
uh, with the edit function … one could nail it every time …
not that i would do that.
You don’t know that half of it sister. At least the broken bones in my foot knitted back together after a year.
That was the time he knocked me down and stomped on my hands and feet.
You guys will be glad to know, though, that I actually broke the bones in my foot kicking him in the gut and sending him flying up against the opposite wall.
Wheee!
Ain’t love grand?
Just for you TRex…..
Pool at sunrise in Crete
Eddie Izzard is one of the funniest people alive today. I have all of his specials, and on the nights that the depression is kicking me while I am down I pop one in and laugh until it hurts. Who needs Prozac when Izzard does the same job?
finifinito @ 51
I totally thought this was a Razorlight song.
TRex @ 75
Why is hardest to get over the meanest people? Are we just hankering to be accepted by the unacceptable? Don’t ya just hate that sh*t?
I am heading off to bed…. catch you all tomorrow
TRex @ 68
Big-Ass International Celebrities with Gazillions of Worshippers do not wallow in self-pity (except for comedic effect). Snap out of it — there’s fuckery afoot, and we need you to ATTACK!!!
TRex @ 78
Nope, but Muse and Razorlight inhabit the same musical space IMHO so I can see where you would think that. They’re both great bands!
Nite, Katy!!!
TRex @ 55
Exquisitely handsome, perhaps.
But (to quote Tengrain) surely hung like a bee.
katymine @ 76
Oh, fine. Here you have to come along and remind me how happy I am to know you and how glad I am that you’re not going to have to go through chemotherapy and make me feel like a total shitheel about having a big bratty tantrum about my ex beating me to the New Boyfriend finish line by two years.
Fine.
*hugs katymine*
Bring me lethal amounts of chocolate please.
see, trex, you are better off without him. what got ya tonight is that you were not prepared mentally to run into him. but now you have done that and survived and it reinforces that you are better off without him. fucker stomped your hands and feet (spitting) - don’t waste your time and energy on him, trex, he’s not fucking worth it (spitting again)
TRex @ 75
That ain’t love, my brotha. You’re doing some inside work right now, so you’ll be ready for a real man. You’re in transition.
Suzanne @ 63
And impotence.
(stuffing enough chocolate to clog the tubes into the modem for trex)
TRex @ 85
I’d be happy to send you some Tiramisu Cheesecake but we still don’t have Star Trek transporter tech yet.
OMG, what’s up with this?????
TeddySanFran @ 88
for both of em, the ex and his hung like a bee new boyfriend
Suzanne @ 89
three mousse-k-tears
TeddySanFran @ 88
Damn skippy!
Su