David Bowie, “Life On Mars.”

This past weekend, the NYTimes Magazine dumpster dived into the world of one of the top starmaker stylists and tabloid darling, Rachel Zoe. I have to admit, I was curious why they would invest six online pages on this tiny woman who makes Diana Ross seem low maintenance. Despite the feathered skirts and Birkin bag-ed-ness, there were a some (unintentional) gems for political types who want to market themselves as a more upscale brand in an off-the-rack retail politics world.

Number One: Be Prepared. Always.

What Zoe recognized is that the tabloids — virtually the only magazines to increase their circulation substantially in recent years — pretty much split their coverage between the bad behavior of their chosen stars and what they wore, whether it was to jail, to a premiere or to pick up their kids at school. “Because of the tabloids running photos of people in their downtime, that became a thing,” Zoe said as she waited for the food to arrive. “So, we started doing fun outfits to go get your coffee in the morning or if you were going to the Ivy for dinner. You know what I’m saying? The obsession with the tabloids fuels the business. Was I responsible? Yes. I think people should look cute all the time.”

In a world wherein news organizations run 24 hours a day, YouTube allows immmediate posting of Macaca moments, and blogs dissect and parse words and phrases with history and linkage almost instantaneously, don’t attend an event without being fully prepared. Put together an entire package — don’t just slop together a few disparate pieces and expect praise. Avoid being a “politics don’t.” Do find a niche.

In short, you either do your homework…or fail publicly and lamely in a way that haunts you forever in linkage history. Think about it for a moment, what is the Democratic party brand? Yeah, we really do have to do better with that, don’t we?

Number Two: Do Your Homework.

“They’d say, ‘Oh, my God, Rachel, only you could wear such a huge pair of sunglasses.’ Or, ‘Only you could wear a ring the size of your hand.’ And, I’d say: ‘That’s nonsense. You can wear it, too: it’s about having confidence in taking a risk.’ And without risk, there’s no reward.”

Stick out a little — be unique in a world of off-the-rack sameness. Politicians, like C-list starlets, are a dime a dozen. Real stars — or star wannabes — have to differentiate themselves from the pack in order to shine.

Number Three: Build Up Your Brand.

It all adds up anyway: more outfits means more photos, which means more designer credits and greater awareness and money….“No one wants to stay in the tabloids,” Zoe said as a new plate of vegetables was placed before her. “But it’s actually not a terrible place to start.”

You have to start somewhere, get notice on small but well-chosen moments, and build to bigger and more complex ones. Well-chosen issue advocacy or legislation on a timely, carefully crafted message that resonates will give you more cache which, in turn, drives media time and better ratings, which then gives you more ability to get your message out and draw in more support. Think Newt Gingrich without the smarm. Work it, people.

Number Four: What People Really Want Is Quality.

“Let’s face it,” he continued, “you can take any entity and make them famous. But how long will that fame hold? I don’t think people are stupid. They are interested in the tabloids because they want an escape from reality….I’m not sure people are so easily persuaded today.”

The teevee news — news — is all over OJ Simpson and Britney Spears, for hell’s sakes. The market on tabloid splash is full. Ditto the KStreet Corruption contingent. Why not differentiate yourself from the crowd from doing something meaningful and useful for a change? Let’s call it “upholding the rule of law.” Or maybe “accountability for the people.” Oooh, stop it, I’m getting tingly.

Find an issue that benefits a large number of people who really need help or a solution to a long-term problem that has not been adequately tackled. Come up with a strategy. Unite behind it. Then work it with everything you have. It isn’t rocket science people — it’s marketing 101, so simple even stylists to the stars have figured out a way to game the studio system.

Here’s your homework: read Jane’s “On Image” series (part I and part II). And then find a way to use that information for the greater good. Because, frankly, we could all use a hefty helping of greater good about now.

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