fall fascismYou know, up in New York City right now, they’re having some big to-do with fashion designers, models, celebrities, and a whole bunch of other assorted liggers, impresarios, camp-followers, and fashion victims of all stripes (and solids and plaids).

Me, I know that the real party is in DC where everyone is anxiously awaiting Fall Fascism Week, the buzz about which has been on low boil now for months, but which is expected to reach a frenzied peak on Monday when the House of Crocker-Petraeus Couture will roll out their new Fall Line of Bullshit. The White House has turned out all of its chief PR flacks, past and present, to push this new product line, and even the normally stodgy fashionistas of the Pentagon are planning a concomitant multi-multi-media extravaganza:

(AP) WASHINGTON – Shaping the Bush administration’s message on the Iraq war has taken on new fervor, just as anticipation is building for the September progress report from top military advisers.

For the Pentagon, getting out Iraq information will now include a 24-hour-a-day, seven-day-a-week Iraq Communications Desk that will pump out data from Baghdad — serving as what could be considered a campaign war room.

Of course, the real reason most people come to Fascism Week isn’t so much for the shows, the meet-and-greets, and the photo-ops. Anyone will tell you that the main attractions this week are the star-studded guest lists and opportunities to rub shoulders with such icons of obfuscation as Mike O’Hanlon and Ken Pollack, who were instrumental in branding the House of Bush’s spring and summer lines and making them such a success with the press (if not with the public).

NeoCons, of course, those perennial favorites of the Fascionati, are expected to turn out in abundance for the festivities. The party invitation that everyone is dying to get their hands on is for “Kristolnacht”, an all-night bacchanal in the ballroom of the Willard InterContinental Hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue hosted by Bill Kristol and Jailhouse Judy Miller.

I hear that Jenna Bush and her fiancee will be on hand, as well as the entire Ledeen family, Mr. and Mrs. Ol’ 60 Grit, and (this may be just a rumor) I have also heard that Senator Larry Craig will be making a very special guest appearance to do his wildly popular drag routine to Jennifer Holiday’s, “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going”. Like I said, though, that’s just a rumor, and I heard it from (shhhhhhh!) Arlen Spector, and you know how he is. When he’s all geeked out on blow, he’ll say damn near anything.

But my favorite thing about Fall Fascism Week is the swag. I’ve already snagged some really sharp-looking stun grenades from the Bechtel tent, a coupon for 100 shares of Halliburton stock, and a voucher for a .0006% share of the eventual Iraqi oil revenues that was set up through a no-bid contract with KBR. I hear the Pentagon goodie-bags are supposed to be the best, though. For Spring Fascism Week last February, they gave out color-coordinated boots and kevlar body armor with the word “Surge!” and big neon-colored daisies (adorable!) stenciled all over them. So. Cute.

I know that there are those of you out there who think that the military-industrial complex is evil and that to base a whole week of excess on making rich people richer and exploiting miserably poor dark-complected people all over the world is nothing to celebrate, but come on, you’re missing the whole spirit of the thing. Listen to Guy Trebay at the New York Times who says, “Admit it. You love it. It Matters.”

For god’s sake, lighten up. It’s just a bunch of dead people on the other side of the world. Have some fun this week!

Related posts:

  1. Late Night: Gays Seize Ice Cream; Puppies Next to Fall to Homosex Menace?
  2. Erick Erickson Reviews “Liberal Fascism,” Hilarity Ensues
  3. Late Night: This Week In Obama Killing Your Grandma…
  4. Florida Doctor Who Distributed Racist Email is a Tea Party Organizer, Called Health Care Reform “Medical Fascism”
  5. ABC’s ‘This Week’ Adopts Fox News