Since watching and blogging along with the Logo-TV/Human Rights Campaign interviews with some of the Democratic candidates, I’ve been asked why I wrote that I wish the questions had been less centered on marriage. The other evening, all the candidates were asked similar questions, which is probably fair, but we missed lots of other issues. Many people consider marriage a touchstone — an easy way to tell someone’s views on all LGBT issues. And it’s true for me too: if a candidate opposes marriage equality and civil unions, that’s not my candidate.

But it’s important, I think, to evaluate how excluded from law LGBT (lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender) people currently are in the United States of America. There’s a lot of battles still to be fought that aren’t about marriage; these are battles about things other people take even more for granted, like hearth & home, jobs, and children & family.

It’s also important to note that some of the people who are running for President can make an impact on some of these issues right now; we don’t need to elect a Democratic President to have the Congress pass the Employee Non-Discrimination Act, for instance. That could happen right now.

Why do LGBT folks need a federal law to protect them in their jobs? Because in 31 states, it’s legal to fire someone if he or she is gay. In 39 states, it’s legal to fire a transgender person. Can you imagine going to work tomorrow and being told you’re fired because you are gay — or because someone thinks you are gay? In 31 states, if you are GLB, it can happen tomorrow. If you’re transgender, it can happen in 39 states. Please send a message to your federal lawmakers here to ask them to pass ENDA. Find out how to make yours an Out and Equal workplace here.

Federal laws about housing don’t protect same-sex couples, either. These states protect LGBT people from discrimination: California, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont and Wisconsin. Only four states include gender identity — the protection transgender people rely on — in their housing laws: California, Minnesota, New Mexico, and Rhode Island. If you don’t live in one of those states, a landlord can decline to rent to you because you are gay. Hell, a landlord can evict you simply for being gay! A mortgage broker can decline to help you find the best lender, rate, and loan. A real estate agent can overlook the best properties in your price range. A bank can decline to list both of you on the insurance policy for your home, and can refuse to title your property in both your names. And there’s nothing you can do about it unless you live in one of those listed states.

With regard to children and family, there’s one important statistic I want to share. According to the 2000 census, one-third of female same-sex couples and one-fifth of male same-sex couples have at least one child under 18 living at home. LGBT folks are raising kids. But what happens in these American families when there’s a cataclysm: death or serious illness of one parent, or an end to the union? If they are in a state that bans adoption by same-sex couples:

Neither the parent or child has visitation rights if the parents separate.

The child cannot claim inheritances or other household assets in case of death.

If one parent dies, the second parent has no legal right to take custody or care for the child.

A parent without legal right to a child cannot legally register him/her for school.

Parents cannot put children on some health insurance plans.

Parents cannot make medical decisions for the child.

The child has no claim to the social security or other insurance benefits of the parent.

Gay couple parents without adoption rights do not benefit from the generous tax deductions granted to heterosexual parents.

When it comes to families headed by same-sex parents, “We’re Here, We’re Queer, Our Rights Aren’t Clear” is true in more states than not. Courts and legislatures, whipsawed by fundies seeking to prohibit “special rights” for American families headed by same-sex couples, have created a patchwork of decisions and laws across the land. Different types of legal parenting, with different requirements and legal processes, apply in different jurisdictions. And in today’s mobile workforce, the protections provided by one state are not transferable to another when jobs entail relocation. All the paperwork for wills, guardianships, and powers of attorney have to be re-executed when you cross state lines — if that paperwork is even allowable in your new location.

What LGBT folks want, I think, is pretty simple: to be treated the same as everybody else is treated. Nobody wants special rights, just the rights everybody else has: the rights we don’t have. Is that really too much to ask in the twenty-first century? Sure — marriage equality would be great. And while you are at it, America, could we please have job protection, fair housing protection, and legal rights for our families, too?

If it’s not too much to ask.

(Natalie Merchant from 10,000 Maniacs and Michael Stipe from REM singing “Give Them What They Want” at a Jan. 1993 Inaugural Ball for President Clinton.)

Related posts:

  1. GRITtv Live: What’s Next for the LGBT Equality Movement?
  2. Same-Sex Marriage Goes Mainstream! “Newlywed Game” Wants LGBT Newlyweds
  3. John Dean: Is Boies/Olson’s Federal Anti-Prop 8 Filing A Risk?
  4. Sunday Late Night: “A Marriage, If You Can Keep It”
  5. BREAKING: California Court Upholds Prop 8, Allows Existing Marriages to Stand