DesperationWell, thanks to the RNC, I finally get to write a non-depressing post. Because as self-destructively clueless as the Democratic Party is, they’re still in better shape than the party that wants to keep the Iraqupation going forever. Check this out:

What 83 year-old William Sidwell of Queen City, Missouri found in his mailbox last week scared him. It was a letter from the Republican National Committee, but it seemed to bear grave news: “Our records show that you registered as a member of our Party in Schuyler County, MO,” the letter said. “But a recent audit of your Party affiliation turned up some irregularities.”

Audit? Irregularities? Was he in trouble? Were they threatening him? Sidwell went immediately to his ask his son, Dennis, a licensed public accountant, for advice. You can see the letter, and the accompanying “Voter Registration Verification and Audit Form,” right here. Particularly puzzling to the both of them, Dennis told me, is that his father is a life-long Democrat. [*snort*]

(…)

The letter, it turns out, is just a misleading pitch for a contribution to the RNC — one of the “irregularities” cited in the letter is that “I cannot find a record of you taking a single action in support of the Republican Party — not locally, not nationally!” A contribution, the letter suggests, would help set the record straight.

The letter is… deniably misleading. That is to say, yes, it’s possible that some people might take it seriously, but it’s tongue-in-cheek enough that the RNC can claim that they were not intentionally trying to deceive (the tried-and-true “I was just kidding!” defense).

Aside from the gimmicky-and-possibly-dodgy “OMG your standing in the GOP is in danger OMG!!1!” stuff, the full letter is really quite something. It alternates between guilt-tripping:

…[W]e have no record of your support for President George W. Bush.

In fact, we have no record of your support for a Republican Presidential candidate going back to President Ronald W. Reagan!

And scaremongering:

If we don’t ['set your record straight'], we risk Hillary Clinton as President with Bill Clinton the power behind the throne….

Howard Dean, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and the usual liberal suspects are raking in cash hand over fist for the 2008 elections, and we have to keep up with them.

I know fear and guilt are kinda their thing, but that sure doesn’t sound like a strong, confident party to me. I also find it interesting that the issues they choose to highlight in the letter are guns, taxes, judges, abortion, and small government [*snort again*] – no mention of Iraq, or terrorism, or all that brilliant torture and wiretapping that’s keeping us all so safe. In other words, they’re running away from all the tough-guy issues that they pretend to have their biggest advantage on – I wonder why that might be?

Hell, they’re even trying to convince elderly Democrats that they’re really Republicans. No wonder the GOP opposes stem-cell research – an Alzheimer’s cure would be a huge blow to their fundraising.