oh noes!!Truman Capote famously opined that more tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones. Well, someone needs to send James Wolcott a beach towel and some cucumber slices for his poor swollen eyes.

It seems that the auto company that Pam Atlas co-owns with an ex-husband is under investigation for some rather unsavory (alleged!) business practices, up to and including murder:

‘CAR-SCAM’ LINK EYED

Detectives are investigating possible links between the men accused of gunning down two Brooklyn cops and an alleged million-dollar scam at a Long Island auto dealership.

While probing the murder of car salesman Collin Thomas outside the showroom of Universal Auto World in Lawrence, L.I., in January, cops unraveled what they said was a massive scam at the dealership.

(…)

As part of the homicide probe, Nassau County police raided the dealership, owned by auto czar Michael Oshry, and Oshry’s Hewlett Harbor home and seized business records.

Cops found banking records were sent to the house, though the state requires such files be kept at businesses, according to court papers filed in a civil forfeiture action by the Nassau district attorney.

(…)

Oshry’s lawyer, William Petrillo, said his client “has not engaged in any criminal activity.”

His ex-wife, Pamela Geller, former associate publisher of the New York Observer and a conservative blogger, burst into tears when told her ex is under criminal investigation.

Although listed in business records as a Universal co-owner, she denied it. “I have nothing to do with this,” Geller said.

Folks, this looks pretty bad and frankly, it pains me to reveal this information to you. Who would ever have thought that a nice, soft-spoken, clear-eyed, not-at-all-crazy person like Pam Atlas would get tangled up with a bunch of thieves and murderers? She’s so sweet! A veritable will-o’-the-wisp, that girl.

I refuse to believe it. I am completely withholding judgement until the jury returns its “guilty” verdict.

I know, I know, it is probably wrong of us to laugh at her pain.

Instead, I suggest we have a contest to name the Lifetime TV Movie that will inevitably result. Here, I’ll go first:

1. “Islamofascists Cooked My Books!”

2. “Not Without My Alimony Payments”

3. “Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Indicted Like Me?”

Your turn!

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