registered republicanThere must be something in the air. Either that or we have arrived at the Republican mating season, for we are catching more and more of them participating in their bizarre courtship rituals.

Most of us are at least passingly familiar at this point with the tale of Senator Dave Vitter of Louisiana, a very vocal flack for the Talibangelical crowd. His number was the first to tumble out of the records of Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the DC Madam. You may not, however, be aware of this, a pearl of wisdom from the infamous “Canal Street Madam” of New Orleans, who had this to say about her famous client and his cohorts:

“They wanted to be spanked and tortured and wear stockings—Republicans have impeccable taste in silk stockings—and these are the people who run our country.”

Brrrrrrr, *shudder*. We’re going to file that under “Things We Never Want to Think About Again” and keep moving. And whatever you do, do NOT think about Tom DeLay while reading the quote above.

There’s more about Vitter, by the bye, including an alleged diaper fetish and purported illegitimate child. My, my, my. You know, I’ve got nothing against people who like kinky sex, nor do I honestly disparage a person’s right to visit a prostitute of either sex. However, if this is the way your private life works, I do believe that perhaps you should think twice before building your public reputation on a patently false platform of “traditional values” and Christian piety. It’s not so much the sex, but the hypocrisy, stupid.

Which brings us to this McCain campaign officer and Florida Republican Representative taking a novel approach to fund-raising:

Titusville police were at Veteran’s Memorial Park on East Broad Street on a burglary detail when they noticed an unshaven man acting suspicious, going in and out of the restroom three times, said Lt. Todd Hutchinson.

An undercover officer decided to go into one of the bathroom stalls, Hutchinson said. Moments later, (Bob) Allen (R, FL-32nd District) knocked on the stall door and offered to perform oral sex on the officer for $20, according to the police spokesman.

The officer identified himself and took Allen into custody. Hutchinson said the officers had no idea the suspect was a state lawmaker.

“After he was arrested, he (Allen) mentioned he was a state legislator,” he said.

Dude, no wonder the McCain ‘08 campaign coffers are running dry. The conventional arrangement, so far as I know, is that in a paid blow-job scenario, one person pays and the other person performs the act in question. Just chalk this up as further proof that modern Conservatives know absolutely nothing about fiscal responsibility.

Allen is known in Florida for his rabidly anti-gay, “pro-Family” views, with the voting record to prove it. Here’s a photo of Florida governor Charlie (”I’m NOT Gay”) Crist signing a piece of legislation while Rep. Allen looks at his ass on:

boys, boys!Why, they’re just two peas in a closeted, self-hating, hypocritical pod, aren’t they? (Photo hat-tip to Michael Rogers of Page One Q.)

Are there ANY straight Republicans?

Why, yes. Yes there are. Another name has fallen out of Deborah Palfrey’s little black book. Who could it be?

Why, it’s Right Wing pundit Jack Burkman!

Media Matters:

Summary: On MSNBC’s Scarborough Country, Republican strategist Jack Burkman, echoing right-wing pundit Ann Coulter, whom he was defending, declared that “within hours of those [World Trade Center] towers going down,” the wives of victims of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks “were ready to make money and exploit this tragedy!”

That’s pretty audacious, don’t you think? A flagrant whore-monger calling the 9/11 widows a bunch of money-hungry huntresses? We’d like to echo the sentiments of the prostitutes who handled Burkman’s business, “CREEEEEEEEP!”

And then there’s this:

IMPROPER BEHAVIOR: Rep. David Almond, (R-NC), resigned from the state Legislature due to an unspecified personnel complaint filed with House leadership, a day after the chamber’s GOP caucus said it was looking into allegations of “serious, improper behavior.” In a one-sentence letter to House Speaker Joe Hackney, Almond said he would resign effective immediately. He said in a written statement that he will “defend myself against these charges in whatever forum may be appropriate.” Hackney said he received a personnel complaint last week, but state and federal confidentiality laws bar him from giving any details.

That “unspecified personnel complaint” — wonder if this qualifies as “serious, improper behavior”?

Poor guy. Guess he didn’t have twenty bucks on him.

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