coultergeist(Image by Darkblack)

Well, well, well. Chris Matthews managed to lure Ann Coulter out of whatever windowless crack-house she normally inhabits for a full hour appearance on today’s “Hardball”. Surprisingly, she didn’t combust and disintegrate into a pile of gray ash when the sunlight touched her skin.

Pity.

“She sells books!” Matthews cried yesterday as justification for inviting the filth-monger back on his show to foul the airwaves one more time.

Well, stellar book sales or not, it’s time for Ann to go buy herself a new goddamn dress. That tired old black number is sticking to the chair. God forbid someone should turn a black-light on it. Probably has more DNA encrusted in its poly-cotton folds than is on file at the entire Human Genome Project.

So, in the south, when your mother or father asks you to step out in the hall for “A Word of Prayer”, you’re in deep, deep dookie. Your mama says, “James David Ferguson!” (she has to use your full name to let you know that you’re really, really in trouble), “I believe we need to step outside for A Word of Prayer.”

Aw, shit. Chances are, you will re-emerge with tears in your eyes and your butt still stinging from the ass-whoopin’ you just got. Well, it could be said that Coulter’s preening, fact-free appearance on Tweety’s patio today had one highlight. Elizabeth Edwards called up to have A Word of Prayer with America’s Queen of Hate.

Think Progress and Crooks and Liars are both on this story like a couple of ducks on a junebug.

TP:

Yesterday on ABC’s Good Morning America, Coulter said, “[I]f I’m gonna say anything about John Edwards in the future, I’ll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot.” She has previously called Edwards a “faggot.” In 2003, she wrote a column claiming that John Edwards drove around with a bumper sticker saying “Ask me about my son’s death in a horrific car accident.”

During an hour-long interview with Coulter today on MSNBC, host Chris Matthews announced that Elizabeth Edwards was on the line. Edwards referenced the attacks above, saying, “I’m the mother of that boy who died. These young people behind you…you’re asking them to participate in a dialogue that is based on hatefulness and ugliness instead of on the issues, and I don’t think that’s serving them or this country very well.” The live audience cheered.

Not all of them. The little pig-faced princess standing over Coulter’s shoulder and the other overfed, under-taxed Country Club wastrels who turned out for the taping were obviously still clinging to the ghost of Coulter’s past glories as a Righty Screamer.

For you see, as much as Right-Wing publishing houses may like to hold Coulter up as an exemplar of a best-selling political author, she (and the rest of the Conservative Publishing industry) is actually in decline.

From the AP:

“The conservative market is not unified, there are many fractures,” says Marji Ross, president and publisher of Regnery Publishing, which for 60 years has been releasing conservative works, including Ingraham’s upcoming “Power to the People.”

“It’s a reflection of the culture, and a reflection of the Republican party, which is being torn in different directions,” added Steve Ross (no relation to Marji Ross), head of the Crown Publishing Group, which includes the conservative imprint, Crown Forum, where authors include Ann Coulter.

And now, even Wingnut Welfare is failing to keep Coulter’s star aloft. “Godless” has sold fewer copies than any other Coulter screed, prompting some to negatively speculate about her long-term shelf-life:

Said Tom Rosenstiel, director of the Project for Excellence in Journalism: “You do wonder whether she’s destined for `Dancing With the Stars’ at some point.”

Several conservatives criticized Coulter for her Edwards remarks. Fellow columnist Michelle Malkin lamented that Coulter had tarred the work of people at the Washington conference. She called Coulter’s humor “tired old shtick.” Tim Graham, director of media analysis at the Media Research Center, said some conservatives envy the attention she gets and dislike how she distracts from legitimate arguments.

“If you got the sense that she was saying things you thought she believed, it would help,” he said.

Get a good look at her bony ass this time around, kids, because it may be the last time you see her for a while. Ah. Skanks for the memories, Annie. See you on cable access!