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1920s Fox Trot | The Spin I’m In @ YouTube |
Today I’d like to give you all an update on my Arthur Murray dance lessons that I first wrote about a few weeks ago and it ain’t pretty.
My friend and I just wanted to learn a couple of dances, mainly the foxtrot. Not professional quality, just decent social dancing, you know, like how our parents looked on the floor. The Arthur Murray “system” in my opinion teaches you a little bit of everything so that you look awkward at well…everything. Nearing the end of our five lesson six hundred dollar course, our foxtrot looked more like a march around the room. We knew how to do the “magic left hand turn” as they call it, but only knowing that is like driving without ever taking a right. Well, I knew that it was inevitable that things would turn sour when on our second to last class, our instructor was being very assertive about his plan for our next level of advancement “bronze”: forty more classes to the tune of $5100.00!
We of course were not planning on drinking any more of that expensive Kool-Aid, so things really took a “wrong” turn when on our last lesson our instructor kept skirting around our question, “is there a ‘magic right hand turn’”? He said yes, but that was for our next level of classes. Well they don’t call it “magic’ for nothing. The move makes the dance presentable in public and doesn’t require a dance floor the size of a basketball court. I said “well, we don’t think that we’ll be taking anymore classes right now, maybe in the future, so show us the ‘magic right hand turn’ and we’ll practice at home.” “Well that’s for your next level” he said. Mind you, we had 30 minutes more to our last class, plenty of time to learn the damn move. After being patient with the stalling jive for weeks, I literally had to stare him down and demand “you’re going to show us the ‘magic right hand turn’”! It was ridiculous. Talk about a Larry David moment. So then our once overly peppy and charming instructor succumbed to our demand and turned into a passive aggressive pill for our final 30 minutes. Their strong arm sales techniques may work on some less confrontational types, but that jive doesn’t fly with a couple of long in the tooth punk rockers.
We got our “magic right hand turn”, they got our six hundred dollars and the keypad is mightier than the sword. Can I get an amen?
The Spin I’m In: The Magic Wrong Turn |
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Song |
Artist |
iTunes |
Napster |
AMG |
| Your Feet’s Too Big | Fats Waller |
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| The Sheik of Araby | Fats Waller |  |
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| Soul Bossa Nova | Quincy Jones | |
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| Mambo, No. 5 | Perez Prado | |
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| Ain’t That a Kick in the Head | Dean Martin | |
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| Mambo Italiano | Rosemary Clooney | |
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| The Girl from Ipanema | Eartha Kitt | |
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DARE DARE I say it?
yorick!
AMEN!! and, since, i don’t want to piss off the feminist/punk rocker, a-woman too!
AMEN!
Tall and bland, and not-so young and lovely;
the grrl from Chicagee goes walking;
And when she passes
Each one she passes goes oooowwwwwwwhhhh!
Amen.
Chuckling out loud for that one.
Long in the tooth punk rockers.
Thats a classic.
From a long in the tooth and grey in the muzzle old head banger;
Rock On.
1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3, TURN-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3, BEND-2-3, TURN-2-3…..
FATS! Almost as much fun as shouting FITZ!
slow . . . slow . . . quick quick slow . . . Amen.
Junior Cotillion; White sports jacket; corsages; punch. OMG.
Amen! Flappers r hot!
FiniFiniTOOBZ! @ 6
and side, and side and turn. that will be $3000.
tw3k @ 9
Ohhhh hellz yeah! I used to date a girl in the early 90s that wore flapper girl clothes all the time just cause she liked the style. She had one of those flapper girl hats that she always kept fresh dead daisies in. HOT!
“No one to talk with,
all by myself.
No one to walk with,
Just sittin’ on a shelf.
Ain’t mis-behavin’
Savin’ my love for you!”
(My fave Fats song)
Question:
WHO is gonna play LIVE at YearlyKOS?
huh?
Who is gonna KICK the House down????!?
Got a tour manager yet?
Donita Sparks @ 10
Hey sister, you WILL be teaching me the fookin magic right hand turn with that $3000 payment.
Donita, I expect to see you here next year.
my twisted-yet-accurate take on donita at the arthur murray school:
“one two, FUCK YOU!!!”
and the poor instructor- “well, that’s a bit harsh!”
i know what donita’s favorite dance is-the el whatusi
hey donita!
AMEN! that story is hilarious! i can honestly say i’ve never met anyone that took dance lessons from the infamous Arthur Murray! love the “larry david moment!”
my parents used to have dance parties in our panelled basement when i was a kid—i seem to remember my dad teaching me one of those old-school dances…..possibly the fox trot!
love,
nora
Jacqrat @ 4
I meant PASTY, not bland. Sorry. That late-nights/sleep until noon kind of ‘tan’.
AMEN, Sister!
I had the good fortune of living in a town where a ballroom dancing aficianado was willing to teach us iron-footed clutzes ballroom dancing for $5 apiece per evening. She had the classes once a week for several years. She would teach the basics of a “new” ballroom dance every week for at least half an hour(?), then do a 15-minute “review” of last week’s dance, and then the rest of the evening would be social dancing without group instruction– though she would answer individual or couple questions.
Her “classes” got really popular about 10 years ago, because for some reason the young kids all got interested in it. Eventually, however, she burned out and went back to school to learn how to become a professional physical therapist.
Bob in HI
FiniFiniTOOBZ! @ 14
And you’ll be teaching me god damned levitation.
FiniFiniTOOBZ! @ 6
Honestly, I could never keep any of that straight, absolutely no registration on short, medium, or long term memory – ever.
I’m living proof that someone with rhythm can still have three left feet when it comes to dancing.
Can you foxtrot in a mosh pit? Happy Happy Hour everybody, drinks on me!
About an hour ago I was dancing around my living room like Austin Powers when I came across the Napster link for Soul Bossa Nova.
FiniFiniTOOBZ! @ 11
:o lucky!
I have some old pics of my grandma as a flapper! I dare say she was hot!
Donita
does the $5000 package include “Enlightenment” too?
Twisted Martini @ 23
You can but the drunk dude will first point and laugh at you, then probably head butt you.
Jacqrat @ 18
“Gonna sleep until the crack of noon
Midnight howlin’ at the moon.
I’ll be going out when I want to
Comin’ home when I please
don’t have to aqsk permission
When I wanna go out fishin’
Never have to ask for the keys”
Tom Waits
This way of doing bizness sounds very much like the Dance School of Scientology.
tw3k @ 25
You know, it was the flapper girls who were the first real modern style party girls like Lindsay Lohan and Paris “I need a Waaaaahmbulance” Hilton with the drinking and the mary-joo-wahna smoking with those awful jazz musician dirty hippies. Grandma may have been an Al Jolson groupie.
nicelyput @ 26
I’ve been told that Enlightenment comes at the gold level Tom Cruise introduction comes at platinum level.
kvenlander @ 29
iirc Authur Murray was first by about 20 years
I’d be one of those less confrontational people. Knowing this I would not have taken a course in the first place. The disappointment at the end would be guaranteed.
It’s always difficult to learn new things. Like currently I decided to half-heartedly learn to play the guitar and I that try to achieve that by the cheapest possible way – autodidactic with a borrowed 20-euros-instrument.
FiniFiniTOOBZ! @ 11
BTW great dali movies. I really dig his films.
sorry for the OT, but there’s a hot dyke on the radio right now at http://www.airamerica.com/
click listen link
tw3k @ 34
Yeah, I’m a fan of Dali in all his mediums. Here lately I started sharing my love of all things Salvador Dali with a Daily Dali post on my blog Monticello.
nora @ 17
My parents danced in our panelled basement too. They taught me swing.
Jacqrat @ 35
bah, they still have crap audio formats :(
Fun post! Those ladies were sassy from the way they danced to the way they dressed. My Mom taught me every dance she knew from Black Bottom to Jitterbug and my Dad played his self-made instruments with his Cajun band. But Jazz ruled. We had no money so we partied all the time. That’s New Orleans! Think I’ll make gumbo for dinner tomorrow night.
Channel Ocho Bumblebee Man @ 33
I actually feel bad for a lot of the students in there. Some are kind of quiet and must be spending a fortune
Go to this link then read the following message:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…..mp;search=
http://www.firedoglake.com/200…../#comments
You are going about this all wrong. Next October book a flight and a room in Lafayette Louisiana for the Festivals Acadiens or in early September in Opelousas Louisiana for the Zydeco Festival.
Have a couple of beers, buy a beer or two for some of the locals and they’ll teach you the real deal. Jitterbug, two step, … By the end of the long weekend you’ll be able to whiz around any dance floor in the world.
You’ll find it a whole lot cheaper, a whole lot more fun, and you’ll learn under real world conditions.
I promise you you will be treated with respect and taught by masters of dance. You’ll be welcomed like family, only better.
Laissez Le Bon Temps Rouler
email me privately for any additional information.
TBoy
QuakerGirl @ 39
I just ate some jumbalaya ast night for dinner! I looooves me some Cajun cooking. I eat red beans and rice more than I eat plain or flavored rice.
I learned to kind of dance when I got married the first time. The younger brother of the groom taught me.
“Hey! I’m dancin’ wit yer wife!” lol
I would LOVE to know how to dance those complicted Latin dances, but it’s way beyond my capablities. Shuffle-shuffle-turn is about it.
Um, I hate to break into the dance party, but this update just up over at DailyKos:
Please read the whole article– then its time to hit the phones and call our Senators– the Senate appears to be on a fast track to confirm Pace’s successor. The Senate needs to take its time on this one.
Bob in HI
Hi, Donita (The Sambista)!!
And the samba?? Are you dancing samba on these days? =D
“Place my bet on my rockin’ machine
Put it down, put it down, make it clean…
On my rockin’ machine!
Faster, faster
Slower, slower!!!”
Tony @ 41
That sounds fantastic. I saw Clifton years ago. He was great.
Tony @ 41,
Is that anywhere near Hammond? I have a friend there.
Damn, y’all is makin’ me hungry!
I love red beans an rice. And the jumbalaya, MMMMM-MMMM! I think I’ll go fry up some ‘taters and onions just for good measure tonight.
FiniFiniTOOBZ! @ 42
OK. Now you are making my mouth water. It’s too late to start the gumbo. Let me think what Cajun dish I can do quickly. Can’t think of one. I need time to get that rich gravy. It will be worth the wait.
Donita, I once had the pleasure of meeting Irene Castle who I think you would have found inspirational in your dance classes.
Hey Fini,
That Quincy made me remember a group I used to GROOVE to when I was a youngin…
Mas Que Nada
and… MORE COWBELL!!
Eureka Springs @ 50
Wow, thanks so much for that. Really interesting history. They sounded fabulous. Too bad about her clash with Ginger too.
Jacqrat @ 51
HEY! I’ve got a fever…and the prescription for it is more cowbell! I gotta have more cowbell!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP1SU9VW_yo
FiniFiniTOOBZ! @ 36
He is a master of cognitive illusions.
Donita, I know that this isn’t the subject of the day but… I want to ask you… Where is Suzi Gardner now? I know that she left L7 because she’s tired of the tours, but really nothing was published about what she’s doing now… Donita, please, do you have some e-mail that I could talk with you? I was thinking about L7 on these days and I really want to talk with you about the band…
FiniFiniTOOBZ! and other Dali fans might be pleased to know that Bunuel’s The Milky Way is coming out on DVD next month. “God” knows I am.
Can anyone link this film and Patti Smith within one degree or less?
Dan Whitworth @ 57
OOOH! I’ve never seen that because no on ever plays it on cable and until now its not been on DVD. I know the sets are beautiful though because I’ve seen stills from the movie. Do you know the release date?
Dover Bitch @ 15
Wow. “that’s HOT”
FiniFiniTOOBZ!, amazon has a release date of August 21. Did I say next month?
One thing that you gotta remember about the “Arthur Murray” schools is that they are a franchise. The people who own them, are interested in making $ (tres American, oui?). The instructors are not necessarily trained in dance (of any kind) and so it can be a real pot-luck as to what kind of quality/knowledge you get.
You might want to consider checking out the municipal recreation programs or at the local college or rec center. We were fortunate to have a variety of really good options in our city. We have danced for nearly eight years now, at a fraction of what you paid. I can’t say that anyone would mistake us for Fred and Ginger, but we get by and have a fun time together.
….5…6…7…8..slow…slow…quick..quick..slow
Donita, She was a hoot, a tiny lady who retired in Eureka Springs.. Her flapper clothes were amazing! One dress I remember in particular was hand made gold lame’ with matching flapper hat. Exquisite in every way.
Jandira Ferreira @ 56
I always wanted to know that as well, but never dared to ask.
Amy Goodman at Democracy Now is one reporter who can report and deal with the I/P issue with balance.
Great Interviews with Norman Finkelstein, Tom Segeve and Mona El Farra, in regard to the six day war.
http://www.democracynow.org/ar…..08/1512241
Jandira Ferreira @ 56
Hi Jandira,
I’ll be setting up a blog soon to answer questions from fans on my website donitasparks.com. I’ll keep you posted there. Thanks for asking and thanks for hanging out here and participating. I truly appreiciate it!
Eureka Springs @ 62
Oh my god, those clothes must have been absolutely primo! Were they in an old trunk? Wow, what a star!
Hey … I’m fairly certain Cesar Romero didn’t play piano for Glenn Miller…
Did he?
“What would Rachel Carson think of the Bush administration”
Thank you Rachel Carson for “Silent Spring”
http://www.newyorker.com/talk/…..lk_kolbert
Have folks read this?
Pace replaced by Gates
http://rawstory.com/news/2007/….._0608.html
Donita Sparks @ 66
I bought much of her estate after she passed away. amazing!
Criterion is releasing The Milky Way in August, hence the Amazon listing. Thats great news! Criterion does a fantastic job with DVD releases of this nature.
Donita Sparks @ 65
Thank you for answering! I admire the affection and attention that you’ve with your fans! Thank you! Oh yeah, every Friday I’ll be here posting and “brazilianing” this weblog! ^^
Sorry to be picky, but Fini that was a waltz you called out. Fox trot is 1,2,3,4.
Jacqrat @ 59
Now that’s a p-a-r-t-y! They were all smokin’!!
My favorite dance story. As a physical education major we had several kinds of dance. Folk, modern, ballroom. I always got to “help” the young men as I could at least keep the beat having had a musical background. Our folk class always ended with the polka with “Roll Out The Barrel” played by our live pianist. That was our freshman class. The first class had a mixer by which we got the partner that we danced with for the reat of the semester. Mine was a senior who had transfered and needed the class to graduate. Good thing he was a gymnast as he was not very good at dance. One day he ran me over the heels of the couple ahead of us and I did a back roll and threw him over my head. Oh, the good old days.
On the side my new pups are named Mambo # 5 and Paso Doble.
Gnome de Plume @ 73
Oh damn, you’re right. As we say in the ghetto, “my bad.” I’m waltzing when I should be fox trotting. Next I’ll be doing the Watusi when I should be doing the Mashed Potato.
Music of the spheres: T minus 4 minutes countdown for Atlantis shuttle liftoff now on cspan 1.
FiniFiniTOOBZ! @ 76
I rented John Water’s original “Hairspray” in anticpation of the summer release of the broadway version and on the Director’s commentary track, he said the very best dance song there is is “The Madison”.
Hey, it’s MADISON TIME!
egregious @ 77
A Keppler fan!
Jacqrat @ 59
So. Hot…Do not miss this; do you know how the father in A River Runs Through It (Tom Skerritt) explains how his ne’er do well son, the beautiful Brad Pitt, casts a fly perfectly? you know, it makes history even if he was a schmuck? Watch these dancers. Nothing else matters…
Wow. LOVE this play list, Donita, especially Perez Prado.
Only thing missing is a little Louis Prima.
egregious — thanks for the reminder, the kids are now parked on the couch, 90 seconds to launch…
FYI, new thread
Eureka Springs @ 83
Thanks, but I prefer to stay out of the loop for a while longer.
Needs me the spin on Fridays to chill, will.
Well I’m off to cook dinner anyways, I’ll see you all later!
Speaking of chill, I hear a cold beer screaming my name.
Have a great weekend pups.
Jacqrat @ 84
I’m out too babe. See you next week.
Thanks Donita – have a good week!
Ok, call me crazy but I would like to see Donita do a cover version of shake it up.
Add this to the playlist
http://www.myspace.com/thereallittlequeenie
“My Dawlin’ New Orleans”
If that don’t get your booty movin’, you are dead!
Amen
This does it for me, sigh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujBsMXZ_sso
In a happy coincidence, our samba school leader spends his off season time in New Orleans, as do I. Here’s the bateria in California:
http://video.google.com/videop…..&hl=en
Pinknoiz 93,
LOVE IT!!!
$600 for 5 lessons? Good God. I’m taking swing dance classes from a local organization, and it’s only $40 for 4 lessons. Of course it’s group – sounds like yours were private. But it seems to be working fine, and you get the experience of dancing with a lot of people. Look around, surely you can find something better.
I think you had the same instructor I had for a short time at a smaller studio in Dallas. A really cute guy whose goal, actually, was to win in those major dance contests. When we got to the stage you describe, being taught what I had not planned, he agreed to move on to what I had signed on for…yes, the TX 2 Step. He drugged me and pranced like the Rockettes. Yes, I never went back for more of his boyish, hostile charm. Thanks for the reminder. Im pretty sure you had the same young man; he didn’t make it to the contest.
Clifton died about 15 years ago – you must have seen his son CJ.
Then again – Clif was supernatural …
Tony
Donita Sparks @ 46
Lafayette is about 100 miles from Hammond. Culturally it is about 3,000 miles from Hammond (totally different). Opelousas is 22 miles north of Lafayette. It is culturally different than Lafayette.
No disrespect meant to any of the listed cities. Just pointing out that they are waaaayyyy different from each other.
Tony
Margot @ 47
Sorry – I misread your comment. Where did you see Clif?
Tony
Tony @ 97
Years ago my wife and I also tried out the local Arthur Murray school. They had some special introductory offer to get people into their studio. We were totally turned off by their relentless strong arm sales tactics and never went back.
Later, we took dance lessons through our health club and it was a much better experience. We could just focus on learning the steps and not need to worry about the instructor trying to sell us another class.
- Tom