Well, we knew this day would come, and yet, who knew that it would taste quite so sweet?
You see, my pretties, it seems that Peg Noonan was right when she said that the Right Wing base is cracking under the unbearable strain of the Bush administration's pro-corporate/anti-nativist stance on immigration. At this very moment, our enemies on the Other Side are fragmenting, breaking apart into a jillion little tiny glittering shards of impotent rage, and all right before our very eyes. Isn't it beautiful?
Of course, some on the Right are taking it harder than others.
Hey, President Bush? Fuck off. You are going down in history in a neck-and-neck battle with Jimmy Carter as worst president of the twentieth century.
Never mind that Geoge W. Bush has only served as President in the twenty-first century. (Huge eyeroll.) Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Right Wing Blogging's finest. Even when they're getting it right, they're still mostly getting it wrong.
And you know what? You are, pretty much, a fucking moron.
That's the spirit, Acey! You're actually starting to make a crazy kind of sense.
All that time we've razzed the left about claiming that? Oh, you're not diagnosably retarded or anything, but you're a fucking dim bulb, and you've got some nerve of accusing opponents of the amnesty bill (which you surely haven't even read, genius) of not being smart enough to support it.
(Snicker.) Well, Ace, if the "Duuuh" fits…
Then, Ace has a message for us:
Message To The Left: I'm not saying you should impeach him, I'm just sayin', you know, go with your hearts.
Oh, nooooooo, not when he's making you all this unhappy. He's only there for another year and a half or so. I think we should leave him twisting in the wind for as long as possible just so he can continue to heap handful after handful of dirt on the coffin lid of conservatism.
I know I shouldn't enjoy your pain, Wingnut bloggers. It's spiteful and cruel of me; petty, bilious, and adolescent. And yet, seeing you all running around screaming like somebody kicked over your ant-hill, well…
My favorite moment in the whole rant, though, is actually in the comments section, when one of Ace's "readers" has his "Oh, my god! Soylent Green is people!" moment:
The thing that most worries me about this is that the Moonbats may have been right all along.
Bush is a tard and everything they said about him being 1) a moron, 2) a Big Business shill, 3) an autocrat "holding court" in the White House, and 4) having only a nodding acquaintence with reality…
What if it's all true? Posted by: DoDoGuRu at May 31, 2007 01:08 PM
Oh, you poor, poor man. Have you just had your first bitter dose of the truth and found out you've been on the wrong side in the fight to save America's soul all this time? How does that taste, I wonder?
Well, I have some good news for you. We on the Left have set up an (ahem) amnesty program for all you disenchanted Right Wing Water-Carriers. You're going to have to learn some English, study up on U.S. History, and find an employer to vouch for your worker-status, but we'll be willing to create this unique Path to Citizenship Offer just for you. The greatness of America is that there's room for everybody, right? And that means even slope-headed, sheet-wearing, gun-humping troglodytes like yourselves.
Get back to us when you've had some time to think about it.