*hrrrrrrrrrrk!*, *hrrrrrrrrrrrk!*

Good lord, what kind of fuckery is this?

TBogg says:

Oh. Dear. God.

We would normally say that Michelle Malkin has jumped the shark, but, well, quite frankly it doesn't look like she could jump a curb.

Gimme and "S"!

Gimme a "U"!

Gimme a "C"!

Gimme a "K"!

What's that spell?

"HOT AIR!"

I said, what's that spell?!

"HOT AIR!!"

YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

Oh, Michelle, you moron.  Granted, dressing yourself up in what appears to be the anime version of a cheerleader costume may make all the fat, sweaty, unibrow-ed armchair warriors who read your blog squirt in their pants, but if you're going to jump around and cheer, you should at least make an effort to remove the stick from up your ass.  It would make your jumps a far sight less stiff and spastic-looking.

And what's a 40-year-old woman doing with a schoolgirl outfit just lying around the house, anyhow?  Or is that something special you got after the twins were born when you found Jesse's browser history pointing to a whole slew of porn websites?

No matter, regardless of where that outfit came from, I think that this is as good a time as any to tell you this, honey.  Displays like this are not going to make people take you any more seriously.  In fact, it only reinforces our contention that you are basically developmentally frozen at about an eighth grade level.  Did something really unspeakably awful happen to you when you were 13?  Is that what retarded your emotional and cognitive development?  It's okay.  While I wouldn't say you're among friends here, I can at least say that a revelation of childhood abuse might make us slightly more sympathetic to your problem.

But in the meantime, I just have to wonder if it ever hits you with awful clarity just how pathetic your position in the world of media is.  To your Rightard masters, you are essentially a talking dog, a novelty act, an amusing freak.  You are their Token Asian.  (Although, I'm sure they don't have any compunctions about calling you "Oriental" behind your back, like you're some kind of rug or something.)  You are a minority woman who sees absolutely no conflict of interest in making a mint out of (to use your own charming phrase) "stoking racial demogoguery".

This goes a long way, though, toward explaining why no-one on your side seems to care enough to be embarrassed by the fact that your journalistic standards are slightly lower than those of the Weekly World News, that the caliber of your turgid prose is just this side of illegible, and that your parade of self-promoting, moronic videos would shame a fifth grade AV class.  Have you no shame?  Is there any kind of effort at quality control at all going on at "Hot Air"?  To the people who sign your paychecks and buy your books, you know, it doesn't really matter what you say.  You're their talking dog, after all, and to them it's enough that you say anything at all, never mind how moronic, nonsensical, or fact-free it may be.

Sigh. 

If there is any justice at all in the world, God will see to it that you will spend your declining years eating dirty hospital linens for a living.

Related posts:

  1. The Adventures of President Barack von Munchausen
  2. Late Night: All Conservatives Are in the Gutter, But Some of Them Are Licking at Their Scabs
  3. Late Late Nite FDL: Real Kind Of Thing
  4. The Continuing Adventures of Jesus II and his fan club
  5. Late Night: Elephants on Parade