you will meet a short, ugly president...

We here at The Lake have just received word that President Potemkin is making his way to Blacksburg, Virginia tomorrow to stage a photo-op attempt to address the topic of the tragedy that befell us as a nation earlier today in the senseless slaughter of students and faculty at Virginia Tech University.   Not to be unduly cynical (Us, cynical?  Never!  Perish the thought!), but we put our heads together in the comment section of the previous thread and made a list of our predictions for tomorrow's press conference in Blacksburg.

Given that spokesperson Dana Perino couldn't even wait for the bodies to cool to rush up and plant a big wet tongue-kiss on the NRA ("The president believes that there is a right for people to bear arms, but that all laws must be followed."), we're thinking that the Number One Thing we can absolutely count on tomorrow from Teh Preznint is:

1. An assertion that if everyone in the building had been armed, this never would have happened.

We also suspect that:

2. He will gather students from the ROTC to use as props.  Failing that, he will scare up some veterans, a arrangement of Marines, or a lovely bouquet of family members of soldiers killed in action.

3. There will be at least one comparison of what happened today in Virginia to the terrorist attacks of 9/11.

4. He will take at least one breathtakingly nasty dig at Democrats for "not funding the troops". 

5. Within the same breath as his dig at Democrats, he will urge the nation to "come together" and eschew "partisanship", accusing "some" of attempting to "politicize this tragedy".

6. He will use the phrase "in a time of war" at least twice. 

7. He will take no questions. 

Evil Dr. Puma says:

Oh, I’ll shoot for the obvious. Bush will be in Blacksburg for a grand total of two hours, but the faculty and student body will be harassed by his security goons for at least two hours before and after.

He’ll spend most of his time doing staged shots at the scenes of the shootings, which his goons will make possible by disrupting the lives of everybody who had their lives so hideously disrupted today.

Naturally, he will invoke 9/11…most likely to compare the way “Murkins came together when confronted with terrible evil.”

He will use the words “evil” or “evildoer” repeatedly, and he will smirk when he says them.

Everybody involved will hate him for his ham-handed self-promotion and his security apparatus, but the media will only show the staged footage.

And finally from Eureka Springs:

God has a plan for all of us.

We are grieving over here so we don’t have to think about grieving over there.

He will also speak with his mouth full.

Will ignore his wife.

Will double his dose of valium.

Will nudge someone out of the best camera angle.

Will make fun of the wrong person at the wrong time. (this could happen several times)

Will leave as soon as humanly possible.

I'm in for fifty bucks.  Anybody want to handicap these odds? 

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