
Al Kamen reported earlier this week that Bill Jeffress is soliciting letters of support in anticipation of Scooter Libby's sentencing hearing on June 5 (thanks to joejoejoe for the heads up).
Time for fans and friends of I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby to step up and make sure District Judge Reggie B. Walton doesn't hammer him at sentencing on June 5 for perjury and obstruction of justice in the Valerie Plame investigation.
"When a person is about to be sentenced in federal court," Libby's lawyer, William Jeffress, writes in a memo to anyone interested, "it is proper and very common for the judge to receive letters from friends of the accused attesting to his character, integrity, and service to his country, community and family."
"Many friends and admirers of Scooter Libby have asked how they may submit letters of this kind" prior to sentencing, Jeffress relates. Libby, under federal guidelines, might get 18 months to three years in prison, but Walton could alter that considerably. [my emphasis]
Kamen has a bit of fun with Jeffress' instructions.
"Identify yourself in the . . . opening paragraph," Jeffress advises, and give "your personal background." For example, "president," "vice president" and so on. "This is essential if the judge is to give your observations the weight they deserve." So add "former governor of Texas," "Decider," "Uniter," "former secretary of defense" and so on.
[snip]
"It is acceptable . . . to express a view that Scooter's conviction for perjury and obstruction of justice is inconsistent with your knowledge of his character and integrity," Jeffress writes. Hitting the "underline" key again, he continues: "It is not acceptable, however, to criticize the jury, the prosecutors, or the court, or to denigrate any person involved in the process including the witnesses."
So no cheap shots at Tim Russert, Judy Miller or the white knight, Patrick Fitzgerald. Jeffress says "do not worry about length, so long as your letter is specific." We respectfully demur. Always worry about length. We'd guess Walton would prefer you write it tight, write it active, cut adverbs, no droning on and on. Deadline's May 1.
But I suspect we could have even more fun. Such as:
Dear Judge Walton:
If possible, could you please ensure Scooter Libby is done with his punishment by mid-June? You see, we've got the next war to lie the American public into, and we could sure use Libby's special skills.
Yours, Marty Peretz
Or:
Dear Reggie:
You'd make a nice Aspen, you know.
Love, Judy
Or:
Reggie, let me put it to you straight. I've got a cloud over my head and a bad temper.
Dick
It was all I could do to avoid a joke about quail hunting in that last one...and I did contemplate one from the girl inside the bear cage, but thought better of it. Anyway--try your hand in the comments--it's fun!
While we're talking about letters, let me remind you of a post my blogmate Kagro X did in December, when Congressman Bob Ney was being sentenced. He noted that this letter-writing thing can be a two-way street.
Would you like to help give Judge Ellen Segal Huvelle a clear picture of the kind of person Bob is? The
bribescontributions he hastakenmade, and therightful scornsupport that he continues to enjoy from his friends and others in the community?Judge Huvelle sits on the United States District Court for the District of Columbia. They have an address, and mailboxes, and everything. You could look it up!
When writing, be sure to mention -- as part of your "clear picture of the kind of person Bob is -- how much you appreciated the fact that Ney refused to resign even after entering his guilty plea, and what a rare pleasure it was having his hubris force us to continue to pay him his Congressional salary for two additional months.
The government has recommended Ney be sentenced to 27 months in prison.
I recommend tacking on an extra two.
And lo and behold, when Judge Huvelle got around to sentencing Ney, she talked a lot about betraying the public trust and tacked on not two, but three extra months (apparently nine people wrote in asking for a tougher sentence). As Kagro X noted, you could look up all the details you need to write a letter.
One more thing: I'd go with Kamen on this one, not Jeffress. If we know anything about Judge Walton from the trial, it's that few things piss him off more than wasting his time or the government's money. So keep it short.
But then, it doesn't take long to explain how you feel about someone who betrays our national security and the public trust, does it?
Update: Words of wisdom downstairs from Christy:
And it is worth a mention that if someone were contemplatng an actual letter to Judge Reggie, he’s quite the decorum sort of guy and very much a stickler for the facts asserted being true. Just so you know.
Update 2: More words of wisdom, this time from looseheadprop (edited for,um, because it's LHP):
If you want to write letters urging Judge Walton to throw the book at Scooter,
The correct term is “upward departure from the range specified in the Sentencing Guidelines.”
You can send your letter to Judge Walton, but you should specify on the envelope that it relates to the sentencing of I. Lewis Libby.
This way they can sort the Judge’s regular mail out from the Libby Letters and the Judge’s regular business will not be disturbed.
I would not want to see you guys create havoc in his chambers.
So, if you mail, try putting
“In re sentencing of I Lewis Libby”
In the lower lefthand corner of front of the envelope. By nice to the hardworking folks in Judge Walton’s chambers.
Login Here
Share This
Spotlight
Good afternoon Emptywheel!
I think everyone’s still downstairs with the hearing. It was interesting.
Hi, Busted!
Ha! I’ll have to draft my letter a little later, work beckons.
Maybe a first line, “Reggie,did you ask what size neck Scooter wears in his shirts?”
Hi PJ.
Dear Judge Walton,
Please, please don’t send my Scooter to jail. He must remain under my protection. We need each other. $incerely.
In the meantime, nice tie!
Very truly yours,
Ted Wells
Egregious let them know downstairs.
Type it, and they will come.
And it is worth a mention that if someone were contemplating an actual letter to Judge Reggie, he’s quite the decorum sort of guy and very much a stickler for the facts asserted being true. Just so you know.
What’s the world coming to when a Bush toady like Scooter can’t count on a pardon from the Decider and has to resort to begging his friends for letters of support?
Strategerie @ 5
Nice.
Though, as I noted, it’s Jeffress asking for the letters. I wonder if Libby has decided Wells’ protection wasn’t working as well as Jeffress’ hard arguments?
Hey Christy - do you need bloggers for Sampson’s hearing tomorrow?
Me at my staff meeting on Tuesday “Hey guys, you know that I have an open door policy and you guys are in and out of my office all day long, but I am falling behind on some important aspets of my work, so on Thursday at 10 I am closing my door to concentrate and I ask that you adress anything important before then.”
Yeah - I am going to hell.
I ‘liked’ that Jeffress wanted the letters sent to him; then they’d be bundled and sent to Walton.
Any bets on letters being ‘lost’ in Jeffress’s office if they aren’t favorable to Scooter?
Dear Judge Walton:
Please sentence Mr. Libby to many, many years in jail. Remember that he is the scapegoat for the entire Bush Administration.
The Honorable Judge Walton; Please consider what Irve has done and has been for so many of us in this country. He has been wronged so tragically that his children are going to have to pretend daddy is on a covert mission with the CIA in Niger if you sentence him to jail. You wouldn’t do that would you? If poor “Scooter” did what he did, he did it for his boss who told him to do it. You understand why his boss couldn’t say that in court though, I am certain. It would not look very good if the executive branch of the government were proven to be a part of an inter governmental plan to maintain permanent power over the country via private military and such.
We thank you for considering our appeal, and can assure you that Blackwater has enough of it’s troops here in this country to insure compliance.
Christy Hardin Smith @ 7
Well then, the judge should be highly impressed with Marty Peretz’ “letter” asking the former to release Scoots by June so as he could help lie us into the next war…
[winks]
P J Evans @ 11
I was thinking of that myself. I think all letters sent get entered into public record. So we can skim through and see who DIDN’T write a letter…
Oh golly. Turdblossom seems to have been too busy to write.
Hey Marcy, what’s new.
Deer Judj,
Yer 1 of them book reedin guyz, so I no yer smart.
My Pet Goat is in trubble.
Needz yer hepp.
Just Aspen,
VV
Dear Judge Walton,
Since the trial, public testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee has revealed, under oath, that Irve “Scooter” Libby’s perjury and obstruction of justice was part of a much larger problem that did much damage to US national security and to highly dedicated public servants.
Please consider the grave consequences of Mr. Libby’s misdeeds in your sentencing.
Sincerely,
Gromit
With a couple of minor modifications this is the letter I wrote and put in the comments a couple of days ago.
Dear Reg,
Just thought I would drop you a line about my good friend Scooter. While I haven’t actually met him, I do not see this as posing any impediment to my writing about him. After all even if we had met, he would probably have forgotten me because of his lamentable memory. All of us have memory problems now and then. I bet you too have occasionally forgotten where you put your car keys or that you couldn’t recall having outed a covert CIA agent. It happens to us all.
Often quite innocently I will tell a little white lie to cover my embarrassment at such a lapse or when I want to start an unjustifed war. I’m sure you have too.
It is times like those that teach us to be humble. I ask that you be humble now and accept that sometimes others know more and better than you do. You are, after all, just a federal judge whereas Scooter was and is a very important man. Unlike you, he had to work long hard hours and deal with many different subjects.
It just goes to show what a wonderful man he was that he would take 2 hours out of his busy, busy schedule to see an old and dear friend over breakfast. But that’s the kind of man he is.
Scooter is a great man worn out defending our country and if you sentence him, then the terrorists win. Is that really what you want, Reg, the terrorists to win?
I didn’t think so. Cheers, I would ask you to my country club for lunch but you know they have rules.
Signed
Holly Burton
Gromit @ 18
Hmm. That one’s a keeper.
Hugh you are cracking me up.
Gromit @
18
Nice! Get Wallace to write one, too. Thanks!
Dear Judge Walton:
I sincerely hope you will strongly consider a lenient sentence to my dear friend, Scooter Libby. As I know from my discussions with him, his knowledge and insight is important to the proper functioning of government. It could raise issues of national security if he were incarcerated during football season. As you know, the President is a football fan, and Libby’s insights on the Miami Dolphins may need to be called upon by our Commander In Chief.
With Regards,
Dolphins Fan Ari Fleischer
Dear Reggie:
Hows about we get together before the sentencing and go hunting? I know this great, out-of-the-way place with great
foulfowl. Clean your 12-gauge and get in touch!Shooter
Dear Judge Walton.
Please give Scooter a short sentence. He told me that he didn’t do it and he promised me he’ll never do it again.
OJ
Hugh rocks!
Seriously folks, for your convenience:
Judge Reggie B. Walton
United States District Court for the District of Columbia
E. Barrett Prettyman United States Courthouse
333 Constitution Avenue, N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20001
Dear Judge Walton,
Nail his ass, but don’t quote me on that.
T. Russert.
Hugh @ 28
Dick Cheney Controls Tim Russert.
Just sayin’.
Dear Judge Walton,
I cannot divulge my true name because in the course of my work I once met Valerie Plame for coffee and crumpets in a little French bistro. I gave her a valuable lead, but since late July, 2003, I haven’t been able to sleep in the same bed for more than 3 days. My family has had to change their names and move far away - I cannot risk contacting them. One of my associates has become dead under mysterious circumstance, and I fear for my own life every minute of every day.
I hope you think of me when you address your keen mind to the sentencing of Mr. Libby.
Name Withheld
Hugh @ 28
Ooh, you get a whole mailbag worth, Hugh.
Sentence him. And please sentence him swiftly.
He won’t accept responsibility for his behaviour. He won’t cooperate.
Sentence him at the top of his guidelines. Give him a reporting date that is very soon to follow. Do all you may to convey some punishment before the Cheney pardons him.
BTW, has Scooter’s PSI been completed yet? Does that show up in EDGAR? Just curious. It may make for more fun reading…
Dear Judge Walton:
I am writing in support of Irving Scooter Libby. Some say that you might sentence him to eighteen to twenty-four months of prison, while others say you might give him a short sentence. Some say that it would be cruel to subject Scooter to prison time, as he is a first time offender. Some say it would be unjustified to incarcerate him, as his only crime is having a poor memory. Some say that it would be terrible for his children if he were to serve jailtime. Some say that if he has only a limited time on this earth, he should do everything he can to be with his family, and some say that it would be selfish for you to deprive him of that important family time by sentencing him to jail. Don’t you think you should just give him probation?
Hugs and kisses,
Katie (please watch my newscast) Couric
LaFourmiRouge @ 30
Oooooh, that smacks!
I am amazed that Ney’s judge got only nine letters urging a harsh sentence. One urged the Congressman be shot at sunrise.
The letters are part of the public record, and can be released to the press, I guess.
Just sayin’
Dear Judge Walton,
If we sentence Mr. Libby to prison, will he remember it?
Sincerely,
Anonymous Memory Expert
Some say LandoftheFree rocks, too. Just like they say…..FDL–came for the Plame, stayed for the snark.
dqueue @ 32
So this is — what? — the result of his prostate exam?
One I’m sure we’ll get to see in reality (unless Jeffress thinks the better of it) is this one:
Dear Judge Walton:
I know that Valerie Plame wasn’t covert. I know because I was present at the creation and I’m a Goldwater girl. I know that she wsn’t covert, without knowing a damn thing about what she did at the CIA, because I am the master of all facts, and can do with them what I please.
The jury was wrong to ignore my intra-jury instructions, and now it is incumbent upon you to correct the wrong they have done.
Natasha
dqueue @ 32
I think this needs to be hammered over and over. I’m tired of the right-wing talking point that Scooter was convicted because he “forgot”. Bullshit. He was convicted because he LIED. Repeatedly. Furthermore, he has never spoken out and actually said that he forgot, that he was wrong, or that he “misremembered” that he betrayed a CIA operative to Judy Miller. He has made no effort whatsoever to correct the record. He just lets his lawyers and his cronies spin for him. He was found guilty of obstructing justice, and he is continuing to do so by not correcting the record and by not cooperating with Fitzgerald’s investigation. He is not only remorseless, but his crime is ongoing. Throw the book at him.
Dear Judge Walton:
I’d like y’all to put Scooter in a secure location until I can pardon him. If you have any questions, I can be reached at DSEYEDR@GWB43.com.
Thanks,
D
Dear Judge Walton,
Excuse me if I’m a little nervous. I’ve never written to a black judge before. Heh-heh-heh-heh.
Hugs,
Lynn W.
P J Evans @ 11
Well, in fairness - it would be a really dumb defense attorney who didn’t do it that way.
Do OVP Cheif of Staff’s take an oath to uphold the consitution and/or the laws of the land?
Dear Judge Reginald Walton,
I am a bear in a
(Ow, stop poking me!)
cage, where people constantly poke me
(Ow! Goddamit, that hurt!)
with sharp sticks. True, I am a fictional bear in a cage.
(Ouch. Stop it already…)
But I was put here by Scooter Libby. To prepare young women, girls really,
(Eeeek! For god’s sake, watch where you’re pointing that thing!)
for a life of prostitution. I ask you,
(OOOWWW!!! Bloody fucking hell!)
what kind of sick fuck makes up shit like that?
(Hey! That cut! Where’s the unguent?)
So I beg of you, please throw the book at Libby, put him in cage.
Forever.
In fact, put him in MY cage.
Ursinely yours,
Bobo the Caged Bear
Dear Judge Walton:
I believe it incumbent upon you to consider a large pile of classified materials prior to issuing any sentence on Scooter Libby.
House voting on a Sestak amendment re wounded troops health care, “PTSD and other conditions.” That’s all I know sorry.
Dear Judge Walton:
I want to write you a letter.
But I’ve forgotten why.
Sincerely,
S. Libby
Dear Reggie,
Please be nice to poor Scooter, as he is just sooo dreamy.
Love
Harriet Miers
P J Evans @
25
And he’s promised to join me in looking for the “real liar.”
Dear Judge Reggie.
Ve must keep our Scooteh out of ze jail, no?I um vriting to you on behalf of my fellow
neoconsHeritage Foondation members asking that you pless haf some sympathy for my fellowwarmongermember off de Boosh brain trust. Ve must prepare for our imminent attack on another Middel East country. Dah?Sincerely,
H. Kissinger.
Dear Judge Walton,
I encourage you to throw the book at I. Scooter Libby. But not just any book: one called “Anatomy of Deceit” by Marcy Wheeler.
best regards,
Noah X. Tewgrind
JGabriel @ 45
Yup, that’s the idea.
I am loving these responses!!!!
I tried to write one myself, but it was complete crap.
OMG I am having such an annoying afternoon in my office but you people are making me laugh out loud. Thank you FDLers!
Mauimom @ 49
LOL!
emptywheel @ 53
I have no shame.
Dear Judge Walton:
I write to you today in regards to my close personal friend, Irving Lewis Libby. Okay, maybe he’s not a close personal friend - we talked once on the phone, okay, we talked twice on the phone, but I wouldn’t call it a conversation. But, he likes George Bush a lot, and so do I, so I’m certain that we would be very close personal friends if we were to meet and have a conversation.
Irving and I have a mutual interest - we are very proud Republicans, and think our Commander in Chief is just dreamy. And, we have a mutual interest in brown bag, off-the-record lunches. We love cookies. And, we don’t like it when people say that we said things, so we pretend… ahem, we say that we don’t recall things that happened if they might incriminate us.
I really think you should consider what a great supporter Irving is of Dick Cheney, and therefore George W. Bush. Irving is truly the wind beneath Cheney’s wings. Please don’t send him to jail.
Did I mention that I admire you because you’re a minority? Oh, any chance that you are Catholic too? If you let Irving off, I bet I can get you a lucrative government contract with any businesses you or your friends own. Just give me a call.
Passionately,
Lurita Doan
P.S. Don’t bother dusting this letter for fingerprints. I used rubber gloves when I was writing it, just in case.
__________
(thanks, retirin’ in five. I think that afternoon cappuccino got my snark meter operating on full tilt.)
if anyone sees RevDeb in the threads tonight, could you suggest a campaign over the Easter break for sermons on “blessed are the peacemakers….” For a lot of Christians, the only times they go to service are Christmas and Easter. I’m hoping a few reluctant Christians will heed the word. I’m also hoping that RevDeb has a few contacts in a few select NE churches (in Maine and NH, perhaps). Just a thought.
If convicted, Libby could face the following penalties:
Obstruction of justice: 10 years in prison
Making false statements: 5 years
Perjury: 4 years
Going to jail with the name Scooter: priceless.
–Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live
Other stuff like that.
Dear Judge Walton,
Please give Scooter a short sentence. I suggest:
“You’re fucked.”
That’s a nice short sentence.
Love,
W. Churchill
punaise @ 52
Scooter can read?
(I put it that way because he doesn’t seem to have read anything involving security clearances. Including the part on what happens to you if you reveal classified stuff.)
LOF @ 58. MI weather had it’s impact, too. Yesterday to today. Definite weather snark in the air — sort of like Fitz’s cloud.
Umm, Let’s see. Has anyone used the Eichman defense?
Dear Judge Walton,
As Adolf Eichman would say, Scooter was only following orders.
Tonster @
27
Nice - thank YOU!
Barbara,
PSI = Pre-Sentence Investigation.
barbara @ 42
707!
ROFLMAO.
TiredFed @ 58
I think the beatitudes have been rewritten: Blessed are the warmakers, for they shall inherit the Kingdom of Earth.
All extant bibles have been recalled and 451-ed.
I can’t stop laughing. Please (don’t) stop.
Ring! Ring!
Hello?
Hello (robotic voice) Reggie Walton (end robotic voice), please hold for an important message from the Republican National Campaign Committee.
(Pause. Fingers drumming on desk)
Hi! This is Scooter Libby. As a convicted felon, I can’t vote anymore. But you can!
Please condider making a contribution…
(Click.)
DOUBLE SUPER SECRET BACKGROUND
TOP SECRET
CLASSIFIED
40% OFF
Dear Judge Walton:
Please be advised that, in the interests of national security, the sentence you impose will be subject to classification and redacted.
Pursuant to the terms of the National Security Act, the Patriot Act and the metaphoric Third Act, the warden of the prison in which Mr. Libby serves his sentence will be notitifed of the term of such sentence upon the earlier to occur of (i) declassification or (ii)reversal of global warming resulting in a cold day in hell.
The Central Intelligence Agency
By: APPARENTLYWECAN’TTRUSTUGUYSWITHTHATINFO
Muh-manDear Judge Walton,It’s a fair cop, but society is to blame.
Camel Spotter
Please, no emails from White House accounts.
retirin’ in five @ 63: you in the Motown area, too? This weather is terrific. I’ve been in my jammies with what seems to be an upper respiratory infection w/fever for a couple days, so I’ve only gone out a couple times (to & from work) to enjoy it.
Alas, time for me to get to work. You all keep up the snarkin’ and have a good one!
Hey Reggie, It don’t matter what you do, Ahm the Decider.
Bring it on.
GW
Oh wait here’s another,
Dear Judge Walton,
Please be kind to poor Scooter. If you don’t, Dick will take it out on me. In fact, this letter wasn’t even my idea. It was Dick’s. I don’t do anything unless Dick or Chimpy tell me to. Viva independant journalism!
Sincerely yours, Tim Russert
Re: Sentencing of I. Lewis Libby, Jr. pending in your court
Dear Judge Walton,
I am just an American Citizen with no other relationship to my Government or anyone in it. I feel it is my patriotic duty to express an opinion in this matter.
Libby was convicted of obstruction of justice in an extraordinarily important case, the probable treason of exposing a covert CIA operative and her network, for the purposes of political revenge. If he were convicted of the latter crime, a judge would probably be mulling the death penalty.
For obstructing the probe into that heinous crime (which MUST have been committed by someone) I say that he should receive the heaviest possible sentence, irrespective of prior record or previous position.
Thank you for your consideration of my views.
/S.O.S. from MA
Judge Walton,
I know from VERY credible sources that “Scoots” is a fabulous man, and a real asset to the White House (wink wink, nudge, nudge). If you must put him in the pokey, please make sure they don’t put the handcuffs on too tight - he doesn’t like that and he bruises easily. By the way, I hear you’re good with a gavel, know what I’m sayin?!? Mail me, jgannon (at)gwb43.com
OT
LOTF — commute to metro Motown each day. COMMUTE, that is. Snarkies to you, too.
Dear Judge
I never thought this case was important, which is why a mediocre prosecutor was assigned. Please let Scooter go,
Sincerely
Abu Gonzales
Dear Judge Walton,
Upon clandestine review, I can unilaterally affirm that Scooter Libby’s “one misplaced word” is the sole property of the Executive Office and any attempt to use said word for Judicial pupose violates the sacrosanct powers of the President and is hereby disallowed.
Post-constitutionally yours,
John Yoo, Esq.
OK, 77 was my straight letter to Judge Walton. Now I can release my Inner Snark… Though you guys-’n'-gals have been doing yeoman work!!
Where, if one were so inclined, could one send a letter to Judge Walton?
I believe he needs to hear how the rest of us feel about a CIA officer’s cover being leaked during war time.
I personally am of the opinion that Mr. Libby was left to hang out to dry by the administration, but was convicted and should do the maximum time for the crime.
Any less would be an insult to the CIA officers and the American people.
P J Evans @ 11
Although I am sure there will be some culling of letters that are not really great, that’s not the reason.
In the sentencing phase, the Probation dpeartment puts in a Presentece report.
The defense gets to put in their own rebuttal package. The letters go in as exhibits to that package.
If youwant to write leters urging Judge Walto to through the book at Scooter
The correct term is “upward departure from the range specified in the Sentencing Guidleines”
You can send your letter to Judge Walton, but you should specify on the envelope that it raltes to the sentencing of I. Lewis Libby.
This way they can sort the Judge’s regular mail out from the Libby Letters and the judge’s regular business will not be disturbed.
I would not want to see you guys create havoc in his chambers.
So, if you mail, try putting
“In re sentencing of I Lewis Libby”
in the lower lefthand corner of front of the envelope. By nice to the hardworking folks in Judge WAlton’s chambers.
(I have this mental picture of the scene in Miracle on 34th Street where the court officers bring in all those sacks of mail for Santa–and pity the folks in Judge Walton’s chambers if the regular mail got mixed up in that. It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack)
Dear Judge Walton,
While you’re at it, can you please issue a restraining order to get the contemptible Joe Lieberman to STFU?
regards,
punaise
diane @ 83
Upthread, at #27 and #65.
LandOfTheFree @ 58
Oh no, a bribe, Lurita? Aren’t you in enough trouble?
Dear Reggie,
I would like to express my concern that a literary great like I. Lewis Libby would be confined in a Federal Institution for any length of time at all. Everything I am today is the result of one moving passage I encountered in Mr. Libby’s “The Apprentice”. Mr. Libby’s writings opened up new horizons to me to what it means to be fully human.
Deerfully yours,
Bryan Hathaway
http://www.legalreader.com/archives/003526.html
P.S.
I would also ask that you contact my sentencing judge as, like in Mr. Libby’s case “there was no underlying criminal act”. Plame was not “Covert” under the statute, and the deer was not an “animal” since it was dead.
Dear Judge Walton,
Mr. Libby’s obstruction of justice in the CIA leak investigation was a betrayal of our national security. Mr. Libby’s perjury was s a betrayal of the public trust. Both felonies are an affront to our nation of laws and our system of justice.
Mr. Libby committed these crimes during his employ as Chief of Staff in the Office of the Vice President. When powerful men lie and obstruct justice in investigations of important matters, their crimes have great consequences. The leak itself - although no responsibility for it has been assigned due to Mr. Libby’s perjury and obstruction - seems to have been organized and deliberate and if that is so, it may also have been treason. We will never know due Mr. Libby’s crimes.
Mr. Libby, Esq. is an office of the court and well aware of the impact of lying and obstruction of justice on judicial proceedings. If powerful men learn that lying and obstructing justice is an option worth considering should they run afoul of the law, then will choose it rather than testify honestly and tell the whole truth.
Sincerely,
Neil
THE WHITE HOUSE
Washington, D.C.
The Present Day
Dear Reggie (may I call you Reggie?)
Under separate cover I am sending you several wet noodles. At Libby’s sentencing hearings, please apply them repeatedly across his wrists.
You will be instantly offered a Supreme Court judgeship.
And anyhow if you refuse, I’ll just pardon his ass.
Please burn this letter instantly and eat the noodles after use.
Very truly yours,
George W. Bush, Preznit of the Yewnited States
Enc: noodles, wet
Dear Judge Walton,
It pains me to do this. After all, if anyone should know the agony of sending people to prison, it’s me. At the same time, despite namecalling by my detractors, I managed to make Ted Wells cry like a little girl. We won’t even go into my team and I’s utterly demolishing the “defense” put forward.
Please sentence Mr. Libby to the maximum. In the meantime, if he wants to avoid this, he knows where he can find me. I’m all ears.
I’m not only bad, I’m nationwide.
Very truly yours,
Anonymous Federal Prosecutor
S.O.S. from MA @ 82
That one’s my favorite yet. Though for these purposes, you might want to avoid treason, since it has a technical legal definition and Reggie might not agree with you on that one.
mui @ 88
Oh, it’s not a bribe. I mean, I wouldn’t call it a bribe. It was a suggestion. I value my vendors so very much - don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t characterize that suggestion as a bribe. Even if Waxman does.
By the way, can someone get my letter back from Judge Walton? I forgot that I licked the envelope, and these people have me paranoid.
Because oversight requires oversight,
Lurita Doan
S.O.S. from MA @ 91
This is the best yet!
Dear Scooter:
You went into jail in ‘07. It is ‘17 now. You will have stories tell – of new friends, hard labor, bathroom threats and the new work release program. Out in West Texas, where you once vacationed, the Bush admins are already long out of office. They were turned out in clusters, because their roots so connected them. Come back to work – and life - in another few years. Until then, you will remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Bustednuckles @ 51
Iss it really ze Herr Doktor Kissinger? *hands fluttering to chest*
cinnamonape @ 88
I think a little suffering would be good for his “art”. Just imagine(or not if you are out of brain bleach)steamy prison sex for his next book.
“Bailiff, whack his pee pee!”
Dear Judgie Pooh,
I am SO hot.
Let Scooter go. Damn I am good.
Have him meet me for breakfast at the Regis.
Nobody does it like me.
Judy Judy Judy
You folks realize that if you send a real letter to Judge Walton encouraging severe punishment, you will be put on the “No Fly List.” Ve haf our vays.
stingray @ 95
Ahh, the iron bars. They’re all connected, you know, by the welds that span the cell block.
punaise @ 99
Umm, punaise, is that a quote we should recognize?
emptywheel @ 92
Thank you very much — I’m honored really. I just LOVED your book to pieces! /Gush :)
Please enlighten me/us sometime/somewhere (not necessarily here); from everything I’ve read, Anatomy of Deceit included, it’s a crime to reveal the ID of a covert asset; how could some still-unknown one(s) have committed anything other than (the legal def of) treason? It may not be DIRECT aid and comfort to a known enemy, but they’re out there… A simple link to the real def would suffice when available. … ?
And thanks again emptywheel…
punaise @ 99
Cheech!
tejanarusa @ 100
I recognize it but can’t remember the source.
eCAHNomics @ 101
Don’t you think that just being here at the Lake gets us on the no fly list?
tejanarusa @ 103
Oh you just made me feel REAL old! Cheech and Chong’s first album…
Sign ze papers old man!