(Helen, get your notebook! by darkblack.)
You know, I think I'm starting to really enjoy this Year of Our Lord, 2007.
I hear that Tony Snow has been eating Rolaids like candy since he got this news:
Woo-hoo! It's a happy St. Patrick's Day indeed for Helen Thomas, who was just officially re-awarded her front row seat in the White House Briefing Room after it had been rudely snatched away last month, owing to the combination of fewer seats in the newly-refurbished briefing room (7 seats per rows for 7 rows instead of 6 seats per row for 8 rows) and the fact that both Fox and CNN had been agitating for a front-row seat. Instead of picking between them, Thomas was booted.
Which was very, very rude. To boot Helen Thomas for some Jeff Gannon wannabe from Pox News. The very idea!
But now booted no more! Today the White House Correspondent's Association decided that Thomas' pride of place in the front row — 46 years and counting — would be appropriately honored:
As the dean of the White House press corps, Helen is an institution. First with United Press International and now as a White House columnist for Hearst newspapers, Helen has covered every president since John Kennedy.
Congratulations for finally figuring that out, guys — better late than never.
Can we address the falsehoods, distortions, and inaccuracies in the run-up to the War in Iraq, now? No? Somehow, I didn't think so.
Meanwhile, whither that lone front-row seat? Who gets it, Fox or CNN? We'd keep you in suspense except that our headline gave it away: CNN was awarded the seat based, it seems, on seniority: "27 years of covering The White House." Fox only just celebrated its 10-year anniversary this past November, so the seniority metric is an easy one to apply, though the WHCA did note that CNN had made the cut "also for the "resources it brings to the in-town and travel pool," which we guess means Fox needs to beef up somewhere.
Like maybe they should try reporting THE NEWS for a change instead of just reading faxes from the White House?
But in the spirit of collegiality, and given their fair-minded and even-handed coverage of all things liberal and left-leaning over the last 15 years, I would like to offer the following words of condolence to Fox News upon hearing word of this major setback for them, the second body blow to their credibility in as many weeks. I believe Brad from Sadly, No! said it best back in November when he said:
Warning: the following is an example of extreme childishness and poor sportsmanship. You have been warned.
YOU LOSE, JERKS!! YOU LIGGITY, LIGGITY, LIGGITY LOOOOOOOOOSE!!!! L-O-S-E, LOSE, LOSE, LOSE! L-O-S-E, LOSE, LOSE, LOSE!!!!
You'll be alright, though, won't you, Fox News? How much harder can it be to grease Tony Snow's crank and lob softballs from the second row than it is from the first? Yeah, don't cry with your mouth full.
If I were a Democratic strategist, I would urge every Democrat on the Hill to close their briefings and press conferences to Fox News. Why treat them as a legitimate news agency if they refuse to report like one? When you know someone is only there to cherry pick what you're saying in order to misrepresent you on a grand scale, can they still be called a reporter?
Just freeze them out, Democrats. Just like Joe Lieberman ran any and all potentially hostile press out of his press conferences last summer. Eventually, they'll have no one to talk to but themselves. If they bitch about, you know, how in the world do Democrats expect them to take their message to the Fox News audience, we can just say, "Go watch CNN. They'll tell you all about it."
Wouldn't you love to see the look on Brit Hume's face?
Here's another bit of the memo from the WH Correspondents' Association:
As a board, we decided to move CNN to the first row. This decision was based on CNN's 27 years of covering The White House, as well as the resources it brings to the in-town and travel pool, and its daily presence at the briefings. In addition, the board agreed to honor a previous commitment by our association to maintain Helen Thomas' seat in the first row. As the dean of the White House press corps, Helen is an institution. First with United Press International and now as a White House columnist for Hearst newspapers, Helen has covered every president since John Kennedy.
You're darn tootin', ya ingrates! Where you been?
Ah, Pox News. They distort. We deride.