This is what you get
This is what you get
This is what you get
When you mess with us.
(Radiohead, "Karma Police")
Incredible how quickly things can change out here on the electronic frontier. Today's super-hyped, Ultra Super Mega Blog to End All Blogs is tomorrow's domain for sale. Today's Titan of New Media is tomorrow's "Uh, who?". Many rockets may rise in the rough and tumble world of blogging, and yet so many of them break up on re-entry that, frankly, it's hard to keep track anymore.
You may remember Jim VandeHei and John Harris from their splashy farewell party at the ComPost (That's the Comstock Post, ya greenhorn! The WaPo is changing its name. Dinchoo hear?). Last we saw of them, those two brave souls were off to help found The Politico, a super duper multi-media news blog with VIDEO!
Thus far in its short career supplanting broadcast news, print media, and of course, all other blogs, the Politico has carried precisely one scoop that had any legs. And those legs vanished in under a week.
As was discussed earlier this week, right-wing bloggers (along with Frank Gaffney) created "The Victory Caucus," artificially pumped up its traffic statistics by collectively and repeatedly linking to it, and then excitedly pointed to that traffic as evidence that they had tapped into latent though powerful pro-war sentiment among Americans which was spawning a new online movement. That ruckus, in turn, caused easily manipulated reporters to write articles and broadcast stories touting this new, exciting, surging Pro-War online Phenomenon.
So, how is the right's MoveOn.org doing now? How "huge" is the "chunk" of pro-war enthusiasts eager to punish Republicans who turn against the war? Here is the Victory Caucus's Site Meter chart, showing its daily visit numbers for the month, current through today:
That doesn't look much like a Victory Arc. What it actually looks like is that someone found a corpse, hooked it up to an EKG machine, injected it with a single high-powered electrical jolt, screamed about the resulting miracle of the moving corpse's re-birth, tricked gullible journalists into writing about the miracle, and then immediately abandoned the corpse again, allowing it to return to its peaceful, quiet death.
So. Sad. What's the web coming to when you can't even pump your own statistics by a circle jerk of incestuous linking and get away with it? How will the Right Wing rabble ever keep up, now?
But speaking of Right Wing Rabble, apparently after all of his tough talk last week about outing the personal information of Sadly, No! writer HTML Mencken, Tacitus (aka Josh Trevino) has abruptly shut down his blog and vanished from the TOOBZ. All that was left on the site was a broken toy light saber with two dead batteries and a cryptic note.
Sad. But funny. Funny as hell. I thought this was his Big Comeback. Wasn't he going to kick some ass, out some liberal bloggers' names and personal information, and make the world wide web safe again for man-children who write like solid marble douchebags?
Josh, dude, I don't think it's much of a comeback if it lasts even less time than a Britney Spears stint in a rehab unit. What happened? Where's that plucky little Jedi Padawan we all know? Was the heat too much for you with everybody calling you on the blatant hypocrisy of your stance on "outing"? Did your wife find the steamy homoerotic IM's you've been exchanging with Patterico? Did she look in your tackle box when you came home from that last fishing trip and see that you'd never even opened it and got the little note she left you? Did Michelle MalKKKin step in and order you to stop publishing people's contact information before somebody prints hers on line again and ruins her TV show's big, splashy debut?
Ah, Mysteries of the Interwebs. Well, since we all know that the Wingnut bloggers are each about as emotionally stable as a Border Collie on crystal meth, and since they can't stop obsessively Googling their names, Tacitus will probably show up here in the comments tonight to explain to us all why he's not, in fact, leaving the web, but writing a screenplay, or going to work for the Giuliani campaign, or something. (And he'll probably say my name over and over like he did the other night, "What do you think of that, DAVID? MR. FERGUSON?! DAVID FERGUSON? The Ferguson whose REAL name is DAVID? DAVID FERGUSON? DAAAAAAAAAVID FEEEEEEERRRRRGUSON??!!")
Wingnuts are like herpes sores. They might disappear for a while, but every moment you enjoy without them around brings you closer to the next painful, embarrassing, incapacitating outbreak.
That's why our blog uses ValTRex™, the medication that has been clinically proven to stop wingnut outbreaks in their tracks, reduce the duration of each infestation, and prevent future attacks. Ask your doctor about ValTRex™ today!
And finally, tonight, three cheers for my favorite Pit Bull Pundit, Cliff Schecter, who called out Rush Limbaugh on "Paula Zahn Now". Shall we go to the transcript? The topic was rap lyrics and videos and misogyny:
SCHECTER: OK. I'm not absolving anybody.
But we just elected a new speaker of the House, in Nancy Pelosi, who is a woman. And all we heard all week were on her pantsuits, what this one looked like, what that one looked like. We didn't hear things about policy.
You have got people on the right who are going out and screaming every day, people like Rush Limbaugh, who screamed feminazi, feminazi, feminazi.
MADISON: Or the feminization of America.
SCHECTER: In his case, he's on a pound of OxyContin every day, so that's OK.
HOLMES: Let's talk about the subject at hand.
No, screw that! Let's go back to Limbaugh's filthy, all-consuming drug habit! Is buying illegal painkillers off your immigrant maid a Family Value, Rushie? Or is that just if you steal them from your great aunt's medicine cabinet?
Of course, as with any such interjection, I'm sure Schecter got that, "I shot an arrow in the air/It fell to earth I know not where" feeling. Did anybody catch that over the crosstalk? Did it just go by unnoticed?
Nope. Fucking BULLSEYE, baby!!
But let's start with this: Rush Limbaugh attacked me today on his radio show. For attacking him. He left out my best line of course, about him and a pound a day of Oxycontin. But it's Rush we're talking about, so 75% accuracy is a wonderful day:
RUSH: Last night on CNN's Paula Zahn Now they were talking about hip-hop, the music, the culture, and the lyrics. Somehow my name came up in this discussion. The guest was somebody named Cliff Schecter, an expert. Never heard of him. He's from AmericaBlog.com, and this is what he said.
SCHECTER: There's misogyny throughout our culture. We just elected a new speaker of the House and Nancy Pelosi is a woman and all we heard all week were on her pantsuits, what this one looked like, what that one looked like. We didn't hear things about policy. You've got people on the right who are going out and screaming every day, people like Rush Limbaugh who scream feminazi, feminazi, feminazi.
Poor Rush, free baser on the fritz today?
"Never heard of him", eh, Limpy? You will, you bloated sausage-skin of a man. You will. This is only the beginning.
As Cintra Wilson said in her Oscars Essay at Salon:
Finally, there was one genuinely historic moment: Jerry Seinfeld presenting the Academy Award to Al Gore, who received an A-List standing O in front of a billion viewers. Respect for the office of the American presidency notwithstanding, it should be noted that Sunday night, Hollywood successfully Photoshopped Al Gore's foot into George W.'s ass.
The plates are shifting, people. The trend is irreversible. At this rate, Texas and the entire Republican Party will be completely underwater by 2008.
It couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of dickheads.
You got a problem with that? Huh?!