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(Pres. George W. Doherty runs the media gauntlet.)
I'm at my parents' place in Columbus, Georgia. I came down this afternoon for a skin biopsy. Just a mole that was acting up. Nothing to be alarmed about. We'll get pathology reports back in about a week. The dermatologist had a look at it and said, "That needs to come right on off." Out came the scalpels and the surgical knives followed by the sutures. The numbing agents have worn off and it's starting to smart a bit and the bandage is itching. But, hey, you know. It could be worse. I could be stuck in front of the Preznint's god-awful State of the Union Speech.
Oh, no, wait. I am.
Dammit!
9:18pm, eastern: Groan. He's talking about the economy. Ooooh! Next week we get a speech entirely devoted to the economy? Hold me back! That'll be more exciting than a colonoscopy!
Heh. He's clearly warming up for his White House Correspondents' Dinner comedy routine. He says we need to "balance the budget". HAR! Where does the several hundred billion dollars you borrowed from Chinese banks to pay for the War in Iraq figure in that equation, Mr. Bush?
9:21pm: Teddy Kennedy seems to have passed out. Can we get a medic in here? Get Dick Cheney's defibrillator!! Give him some air!
9:23pm: Is he really still shilling for No Child Left Behind? Oh, god, he is. Nancy's pursing her lips and scowling over his shoulder.
9:25pm: Whoops! Did someone say Universal Health Care? Oh, no, so sorry. Mandatory health care and a little teeny tiny tax handout to help you with the cost.
Crap. Who am I kidding? I can't stand to do this. Someone else will do a better job live-blogging this speech, surely. I'm going out on the porch for a cigarette. Stupid fucking frat boy. Miserable gobbet of shite. What the hell is he talking about? Is he giving Canada's State of the Union? HELLO?! IRAQ WAR?! What planet does he live on?
9:33pm: God, you know what? He's totally trying to rehabilitate his presidency by changing the subject to a bunch of domestic policies that even HE won't remember next week. How's that Mars Mission coming, Gomer? Are you going to run the big rocket ships on switchgrass?
The pathetic thing is that the post-show pundits will lap up this bait-and-switch like dogs eating each other's puke. It's "The New New Bush Presidency"!!
I can read tomorrow's Peggy Noonan column already, "In a bold and sweeping change of direction, President Bush demonstrated his magnanimity toward the incoming Democrats by embracing a series of brave and groundbreaking environmental initiatives and frugal, pragmatic economic measures that are guaranteed to Restore Our Country to Greatness..."
Okay, really. Going out to smoke now. He's on 9/11 and the War on Terrah. I know how the rest of this goes. "Onward to Iran!! KILL!! KILL KILL KILL KILL!!!"
God, you know, I would give anything to see Nancy Pelosi lean forward and just smack him across the back of the head good and hard. Then she'd open her purse and give him a half stick of gum to keep him quiet until the end of the sermon like my grandma would.
You know? This speech would be so much more fun if Pelosi sat back there talking non-stop on a pink Motorola RAZR™ while smoking cigarettes and doing her nails, pausing only to occasionally roll her eyes and check her watch.
I'm going to pretend that's how it went.
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That was easy.
TREX
Anyone notice the extreme lack of LiarMan?
How about the virtual blowjobs of Michelle Bachmann? The exuberant dame in the white dress?
She couldn’t get enough Bush on her hands. And autographs. Her hero! Barf!
Did you guys see that shitty speech?
Did you all see Tucker’s slam on McCain being slumped and out cold?
You tell us, TRex.
A classic!
TRex @ 2
Yeah, but that doesn’t mean the first three comments here will be on topic.
Yep… watched people yawn and nod off. Ohhh I am watching MSNBC and they are trashing Condi…. HOOO boy
The think that we need to look into is that suddenly neither Bush or Chaney have that facial droop that they have in the past… either the botox is working or the signs of stroke has been removed somehow…
TRex @ 3
The servers are still smokin’, TRex. The first thread burned through so hard and fast that the Mods shut it down and shooed everybody along to the Webb Response thread, and damned if it didn’t happen again.
TRex!
wishing you clean margins and happily unremarkable biopsy results - now and ever after!
Maybe the White House has a new Dr. Feelgood.
Watched Lord McCain (my so called Senator) who DID NOT clap when Bush was talking about Immigration. HE knows that his past stand has killed him with his old base in AZ. They are the Tancredo crowd and were calling him too liberal!
I must have missed the original reference to “switchgrass,” and thus I don’t get the switchgrass jokes. Can somebody fill me in?
Actually, he did get to Iraq — in fact, I thought for a minute there he was just going to re-do his whole speech from last week, like he was hoping that maybe this time people would like it. But he finally reigned himself in, and finished by asking America to give him a “Kristol” (this is a new term for not criticizing the president for a Friedman Unit).
That’s the chant from the Group Dubya bench.
btw…. TRex… thank you for getting the lesion looked at, for doing something about it and hope your recovery is swift and painless AND the pathology is benign… fingers crossed and lots of prayers going your way.
First and Last Bush speech I watch in its entirety. Just wanted to see if anyone would do anything outragious to shame the pResident. Dude has no internal shame. Ugh, I had to scrub my tv screen when it was over.
My wife, who hadn’t paid nearly as much attention to Webb as I have, is really pumped. “Why don’t they put him out there more often. He’s fantastic!”
I answer “Well, the leadership doesn’t view him as a real Democrat because he used to be a Republican. Not as bad to the leadership as being an ex-Green, but close.”
She states “But he sounds more like a Democrat than Obama or Hillary, or most of the Democrats they let on TV.”
nuff said.
Webb!!!!
I caught about 5 minutes on the C-span replay. as soon as he said Democrat[sic] majority I switched it off before my landlord billed me for a new window. there’s only so many times you can toss the TV through it before they catch on
Ed,
Did you tell her he was originally a Democrat? And why he switched, but then switched back?
TRex—no, I didn’t see that shitty speech. I swear to God my cable box died, so I couldn’t watch *anything* on TV tonight. Very brave—it died to save me from having to watch the SOTU, or even any of the analyses and responses. Tomorrow the cable company will send someone to give me a new cable box. Maybe by then I’ll be ready to watch that shitty speech in clips. But probably not, as that would violate the strict no-Republicans-talking rule we observe in this house, in preservation of our physical and mental health. My condolences to you for having watched it. Hope the itching stops soon and the biopsy comes back clear.
TRex @ 4
I was too busy jamming obsidian blades under my fingernails.
Avoided watching or listening to that jack*ss masquerading as POTUS, although spouse flipped between that moron’s whining rehash of the last 5 SOTU’s and ESPN.
Much more fun to read the live-blogged snark attack at FDL in sync with that hot-air-passing-for-intelligen-speech.
Wishing you nothing more than a missing benign mole, TRex.
neuro -
in last year’s episode, the Chimp allluded to switchgrass when talking about energy independence and alternative fuels - of course the center for alternative fuel research had had their funding cut by the Chimp his own self - funding was 60% restored in time for a visit from his Pro Simianess
TRex @ 10
Is that why Laura didn’t stand up much?
the speech? I somehow managed to have NPR on the radio while clicking the refresh button in these here parts and making snarky [Bush alterego] comments.
Perhaps, just perhaps, I have thrown off — once and for all — that term once misapplied to me in these late night parts some time back. The term being “concern troll.”
Weird. And someone (egregious?) thought I was a member of the MSM in an earlier thread today. Ah well.
cbl @ 23
Tune in next year, when you’ll hear the President say . . .
Did Bush even mention the Gulf Coast or New Orleans once?????? NOLA is a new carribean nation cause it sure doesn’t feel like the USA.
Susan Kitchens @ 25
Christy said on the last thread that the same thing happened to her at the Libby trial today.
Mary McCurnin @ 28
yep. the state of our union is strong. The state of new orleans, well, not so much.
Thanks, cbl.
switchgrass - cellulosic ethanol
not a food crop, grows on marginal lands in ambient environment (prairie grass) so it doesn’t need a lot of chemicals and water - plus it supports animal habitat.
Win-win.
I thought the best part was when he said he would send the Congress a “balanced budget.”
That’ll be balanced on the backs of every poor, uninsured, sick, old and young person here and all around the world.
Yes, he likes him some balanced budget.
Oha, TRex - hope it’s benign - good for you for getting it taken care of.
As for the rest of your post - LOL, LOL, and 707.
You are too too funny.
bg -
we liked the “7 million new jobs created” - he failed to mention they were in India and China
Mary McCurnin @ 28
Nope.
The poorer side of NOLA was never a whole lot better than some of the Caribbean countries.
The one time I was there (I drove down with my thesis advisor for a conference), we got off at the “wrong” exit. I wasn’t so sure I wasn’t in Haiti then–and that was well before Katrina.
Peterr @ 29
That is funny in a horrible way. “Am I the help?! I own the place!” I mean, I show up at FDL here and again. But, well, CHS is a fixture at FDL…
Oh!
You mean someone in the real F2F world thought she was a member of MSM. Oh!
;)
(all this “are you a commenter or MSM?” stuff is interesting in light of Pach’s excellent meta discussion about bloggers vs. MSM.)
bg @ 33
I bet he will exclude military spending from his definition of “balanced budget”
(from a lurker who decided to delurk a bit last thread…)
in response to TRex’s question, I skipped the SOTU. Instead, watched my DVD of “Office Space” for the umpteenth time. At least the droning, selfish prick leader’s speeches in “Office Space” were intentionally humorous….
I actually thought the administration did pretty well tonight. Cheney’s lips hardly moved at all.
TRex, your version with Nancy will be on SNL this week.
Ghost of Tom Joad @ 20
You can learn something every day. I didn’t know he had been a Dem early on. I first became aware of him when he wrote an article in 1980 or 1981 (can’t find it) for “The Proceedings of the U.S. Naval Institute,” a defense-oriented (duh!) monthly. The article, about how to counter what was then perceived as a strategic threat by new Soviet ship designs, was brilliant. I’ve tried to watch him ever since.
msauna @ 40
Did he drink a glass of water during the speech? I love that trick.
BWAHAHAHAH!
You so funny, TRex!
Any body notice that Bush and Chaney both took a drink of water at the exact same time? Thought that was amazing, how could Chaney do that with Chaney’s hand up Bush’s …..
The SOTU rests entirely upon wood chips and switch grass. The preznit told me so.
Someone took several minutes to write that speech.
neurophius @ 36
Now if he could just figure out how to exclude it from the national debt, owned by folks like our good friends in the People’s Republic of China.
TRex, I like your grandma.
Best closing TRex paragraph. ever. or at least close.
Yippee, I got satellite tv disconnected six months ago! Here at casa del Shark it’s all-DVD and chimp-free!
Peterr @ 46
Naww. That’s hard work!!
Fortunately my tivo fried a couple of days ago. So I read the SOTU comments at full tilt boogie! It was actually quite fun.
Sounds like they placed Lieberman with the janitorial staff for tonights speech. I feel sorry for the janitors.
Peterr, I don’t know where in my admittedly quirky little brain I came up with Senator Dobb earlier today, lmao. Just relieved that little slip happened before Dodds thread. *whew*
Yay, Sharkbabe!!
Peterr @ 48
His mom’s pretty awesome too.
January 2006:
(TeeHee) Sorry, it just still makes me giggle. How can a president, even the worst one ever, top that?
Peterr @ 48
I think you two would have gotten along famously.
katymine @
45
I wonder if their earphones were on the same frequency? “OK, good, now take a drink of water…”
marksb @ 54
He didn’t want the competition, I guess.
Rayne,
got so caught up in the snark and then omg Webb, meant to include how we now handle this at chez cbl - turn the teevee vol. off and put on hip-hop, raw hip hop (Tupac is never a bad choice), especially good when Darth is speechifyin’ - sooner than later the two synch up and hilarity and non stressful viewing ensue
good gawd TRex, that’s so money TBogg’s gonna start stalking you
Ed*ard Teller @ 51
And his brother, too.
All hail the Family Rex!
Webb had the best Dem return I can remember. Direct, dignified and to the point. He should give H&O some lessons in plain speaking.
Good night and a great tomorrow to everyone!
Team FDL.
Did anyone else notice that the only time Cheney smiled was when W was talking about oil?
I don’t have anything snarky to add to the party, just wanted to take a moment to wish a peaceful night’s slumber to all who helped make this one of the most amazing days ever at the lake.
Liveblogging, monitor-hell, special guests, STFU and the influx of monster site traffic.
Great job, all. You deserve a good night’s sleep. Hope you get it.
Redshift @ 63
Yeah and what’s weird is none of us probably thought that was weird. We are seriously down the rabbit hole.
Peterr @ 27
“I was kinda wondering what kind of reception I would get tonight, comin’ here, what with my impeachment hearing goin’ on in this same hollowed (sic) chamber during the daytime hours . . .”
john in california @
61
Who was that loser that did it last year when we were all pulling for Murtha? I can’t even remember his name.
I went and watched it with my local Dems, and it was actually fun! (I couldn’t bear to watch any of his previous ones.) Balanced budget and restraining government spending got a big laugh from the whole room. Plenty of other bits got catcalls. And of course our man Webb got cheers and applause!
Susan Kitchens @
26
Redshift @ 63
Yeah. Just before Bush said “oil” Cheney looked like he needed another nitro popper, but that word seemed to do a restorative trick for Deadeye…
TRex @ 67
Was it Tim Kaine (sp?), gov. of Virginia? Or was that the previous year?
TRex @ 67
It was Tim Kaine, our governor. He’s not a bad guy, he was just the wrong choice for that job.
Wow, this place has been cranking tonight. Watched the whole thing (must be a record for me as I can’t stand the sight or sound of that pus bag for even a few seconds), but was fascinated watching the manueverings and reactions of the two parties.
Here’s my list of things that stuck in my head:
Dead Eye justs looks DEAD, no soul, no emotions of any kind. Pelosi looked strong and like a leader. I actually gave Bush a teensy bit of credit for allowing her a standing O (two even) before his speech.
Bush pandered to the Dems with the health care and energy talk, let’s see him follow up on it this time. He couldn’t say “Global Warming.” Where the hell is NOLA on your radar, Mr. President? Lastly, he has no clue about Iraq, that is crystal clear. He’s thrown his Hail Mary and even he has the look of someone who knows it isn’t going to work.
MSNBC was pretty brutal on Bush across the board. Nice to see.
Webb kicked major ass. Hit the two major points: economy and the war, and hit ‘em hard! 1 years pay for average worker = 1 day for CEO’s. “Mismanaged war…” “Predictable and predicted results…” What an ending. Fantastic response!!
Huckleberry Graham made a major “tell” in his interview with Tweety. He was saying that Bush did a good job, blah, blah, blah “the bigger question is…was anyone paying attention?” Says it all about the state of the WH right now.
Hillary actually called Bush out on the escalation saying she was ready to stand up when she heard the words to the effect of we won’t be sending more troops into harms way. That’s a very rough paraphrase, but it’s as forceful as I’ve heard the Great Triangulator talk on Iraq.
Obama seemed distracted, lots of “ummms” and “uhhhs.”
Let me just say again, GO Webb!
For no particular reason, cockney rhyming slang for wife:
Trouble and strife
Duchess of Fife
Bread knife
Bag for life
For husband (old man):
Pot and pan
I like this one for spouse:
Dangermouse
As for sex there’s
The bendy flex
or more distubingly:
The Oedipus Rex
And for girl there is
Twist and Twirl
While boys are
Rob Roys
As for Libby, today he faced Barnaby Rudge and if found clonakilty of his lemon lime, then it’s the rusty nail or ginger ale for him.
He made a dish sponge look charismatic.
Just read the post and need to return to read the comments. But I was struck by this off the cuff crap about private concerns assisting in our security around the world. I’m too damned tired to look up the quote, but it sounded a lot like more contractor abuse, and more play for pay privatized soldiers courtesy of KBR/Hell-a-bent-on.
I finished watching the streaming video of a lecture Douglas Adams gave on endangered species some years ago. His concluding remarks where he talked about the tragedy that, not only are humans doing major damage to the earth, but that we’re somehow convinced that this is how things are “meant to be” were pretty insightful. So I’ve written that up and posted it here.
For those who had the good fortune to miss it, here are the Top 10 Highlights of the 2007 Bush State of the Union:
1. The New Equation in Iraq: Fight All Muslims, Everywhere, All the Time
2. Balanced Budget Baloney
3. Health Care on Life Support
4. Border Disorder
5. No Private School Left Behind
6. Flipping on Energy Conservation
7. No Flopping on Global Warming
8. Black Allies in the Gallery, Not on the Floor
9. Use the Troops for cover
10. No Red Meat for Red Staters
For the details, see:
“The Top 10 State of the Union Highlights.”
Been a long day . . . see you all later!
Rrraahhhwwwrrrrr!! Chomp Chomp Chomp!!!
Best of luck with the biopsy, TRex. I had a couple of moles biopsied recently, and at least one of them has to be removed in the next month or two. That’ll make it number six or seven for me. It’s annoying, but better than the alternative.
Last time around, I bought a Utilikilt, ’cause I had two in locations that made it uncomfortable to wear regular clothes while they were healing. I’d always wanted one anyway.
TRex
Glad to hear you’re taking care of yourself big guy. Am channeling good thoughts your way and as always, rabidly anticipate your posts.
We (the Eden contingent)send good thoughts your way.
I’m actually glad i missed that speech today. Just got home from work about 3 hours ago. Wasnt even in the mood to deal with the Shrub nattering on in the background. I’ve have been calling bullshit every other word out of his mouth.
I’m in teh equivalent of musical bootcamp right now, with a day job included. So eventually i’ll reread that post eventually. For now? i go kerspla very soon.
TRex @
4
No. You watched it so I don’t have to :) Thanks, TRex!
Hope your molectomy turns out okay! I had one removed myself, years ago, and had some bad moments waiting for the results, but it was fine.
“God, you know, I would give anything to see Nancy Pelosi lean forward and just smack him across the back of the head good and hard. Then she’d open her purse and give him a half stick of gum to keep him quiet until the end of the sermon like my grandma would.
You know? This speech would be so much more fun if Pelosi sat back there talking non-stop on a pink Motorola RAZR™ while smoking cigarettes and doing her nails, pausing only to occasionally roll her eyes and check her watch.
I’m going to pretend that’s how it went.”
Very funny scenario, thanks for that …..
But that’s hardly how it went, is it?
Redshift @
80
Oh dude, I’m getting one of those soon. Another big dude like me was wearing one at the coffee shop and they are cool! Its like the top of a good pair of denims with a kilt bottom. Comfy.
Wow, it took like a whole 20 minutes for him to get to 9-11…that’s gotta be a record.
I loved watching Pelosi over his shoulder giving him the stern “stop BSing us” look.
They showed a long shot of Lieberman looking particularly pissy — didn’t get none of that good Presidential loving I guess.
BTW, watching congresscritters run over to W for autographs was disturbing.
Man, Jim Webb was fantastic. He did not pussyfoot around the issues. I’ve become a huge fan of his.
SubwaySerenade @ 76
I’d nominate that for the switchgrass/human-animal-hybrid weirdass point of this year’s speech. Someone in our group called out “mercenaries!,” but it was hard to tell if he was talking about contractors, or if he meant some new kind of service where people who signed up wouldn’t be military reserves, but could still be yanked out of their lives and sent overseas (and I’m sure with no promise it won’t be to a war zone.)
Yeah, that’s gonna be popular with the kidz! I’m sure the Yellow Elephants will feel very patriotic as they urge everyone else to join.
Mark Halperin on Charlie Rose is bailing on Bush. When a wannabe conservative and sycophant like Halperin goes, then there really is almost nobody but Pickles and Barney left.
Man o man o man. Today sure has been one fast paced news day - all the Libby trial (I am so addicted to the FDL coverage that I’m ignoring all the other blogs - mine included), the SOTU (did the scared little boy even mention the words “state of the union is”?), Webb’s powerful rebuttal.
TRex, having had several moles removed (all benign thankfully), I can say the stinging will be much better tomorrow. Glad you got it taken care of and will keep my fingers and toes crossed for a benign report for you.
Man o man o man. And it is only Tuesday. This is gonna be one heck of a week around here. Glad to see the servers are holding up.
Oh, jeez, TRex, your post had me laughing so hard, my dogs woke up barking. Now the whole neighborhood is howling. I’ve got to learn to brace myself for Late Night.
Speaking of Bush’s SOTU speeches, how’s Laura doing with the Crips and Bloods??
Interesting little banter over at MSNBC with KO and Tweety teasing Scarborough calling him a former “Republic” Congressman….. woohoo first time I have heard someone FINALLY get the slam of the “Democrat Majority” that is Frank Luntz name to fame….. grrrr stop on any Dem that says it too!
Suzanne @ 89
Yeah, he threw out his usual “the state of our union is strong,” literally the second or third sentence from the end. (I saw the Daily Show montage last night, so I knew that he’s said that in some form in every single one of his SOTU speeches.)
Oh, remember my comment last night about how Ms. Redshift wanted me to send Webb a suggestion to kick Lieberman in the nuts? Well, after Joe’s performance today, she realllly wishes he could’ve followed that suggestion.
I think I might want a Utilikilt of my own!
Although for a guy like me, that might be a little too swishy. You’ve got to be a whole lotta man to wear a kilt sexily.
Redshift @ 94
Little bitch.
My contempt for him knows no bounds.
***!!!Rawrrr!!!*** ***Chomp! Chomp! Chomp!***
so.
Thank you! My salvaged reputation lies on the
cruelty ofreality based channeling Bush’s alter-ego. Oh, the irony!Fern @
69
Good evening, Don Gato!! So glad you could come by.
What’s the latest on Spocko?
An article in the NYT entitled Iraq Parliament Finds a Quorum Hard to Come by Damien Cave reports something that Juan Cole has been noting for months that the Iraqi Parliament seldom meets because it doesn’t have a quorum because many of its members stay away and several live abroad.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01.....r=homepage
I really, really, REALLY wish that I had went out to Seattle Drinking Liberally tonight, rather than stayed home and watched it. I finally made the Man change the channel, because I was going to throw something through the TV otherwise.
Balrog @ 3
CNN caught him in a shot applauding to something on domestic policy to which nobody in his part of the gallery was applauding. I think it was school choice.
katymine @
92
Republic?! I think that calling them the Publicans is so much better. Goes back to Sunday School days where the parables of Jesus are about the Pharisees and the Publicans — the not so good guys in the stories. (or publicans in the sense of the people who have houses that serve likker. Was that why Jesus was all down on them? hmmm, she says.. I’ll have another sip of this here Scotch.)
Boy, Republic President George W. Bush, the longer we know him, the less we like him.
-GSD
TRex @ 95
Around here, they’re the norm, so I guess that I never think of them as swishy. ^_^ My husband got married in one.
Pube-lickins.
Oh yeah, Luck Funtz.
-GSD
TRex @ 104
only if the lights are out and one thinks of G*d and Country.
TRex @ 96
MY contempt for Joe Lieberman knows no bounds.
I want the Jeans cut Utilikilt. Its a conversation starter anywhere you wear it. And I have the Scots-Irish whiter shade of pale legs to pull off the kilt look. Plus I am a large male no one would dare call it a skirt to my face.
There is a vote on Webb’s speech on www.abcnews.com
Good God, Condi did her best Darth Vader impression ever tonight.
-GSD
DreamingCrow @ 105
They make a $500 tuxedo cut Utilikilt. Its niiiice.
On Tuesday night, President Bush delivered his seventh State of the Union address.
How did Bush do?
Miserable. More empty rhetoric, more ramblings from an out-of-touch president. 847
Ext