gasbag

Fig. 3: Gasbag (See also, Ledeen, Michael)

Well, well, well.  Mr. Pajamas Media Michael Ledeen apparently stopped by Salon for a sit-down with Alex Koppelman.  Mr. Ledeen must be reaching across the aisle here in an attempt to ameliorate some of the damage from his recent spectacular Ayatollah-Khamenei-is-Dead, Okay-Well-Uh-Maybe-He's-Just-Really-Sick gaffe.  It really surprised me, but Ledeen honestly seemed to come to this interview without an agenda, chastened, perhaps ready to do away with some of his more obnoxious and hubristic positions of the past.  In this interaction with Koppelman, Ledeen seems to be interviewing Koppelman as much as giving an interview, reaching out to a Lefty perspective that he has so disdained in the past:

What do you think the U.S. should do?

I want to support revolution in Iran.

How?

Listen, can I ask you a question? Have you read anything I've written?

Yes.

I mean, I've answered this so many thousand times, and I'm really bored by this question. And I've laid it all out in writing, so — can we pass on that, since you know the answer to that question?

HAW haw haw!!  You almost believed me there for a second, didn't you?

No, Michael Ledeen makes it abundantly clear over the course of this piece that not only is he the same fatuous, wrong-headed, pig-ignorant Napoleonic little gasbag that he's always been, but also epitomizes the latest tactic from the Wrong-About-Everything Right Wing: When confronted with the evidence of your advocacy of ideas which have played out catastropically in actual practice, deny you ever said it!  If that fails to enable you to wriggle off the hook, claim you were misinterpreted!

Way, way back in 2003, Ledeen was one of the loudest drum-beaters for the War in Iraq, even sent his daughter over there for a plummy assignment on the CPA, yessir!  And then when we were done with Iraq, Ledeen maintained that we would take the Great War on Terror straight to the streets of Paris and Berlin!

So the French and the Germans struck a deal with radical Islam and with radical Arabs: You go after the United States, and we'll do everything we can to protect you, and we will do everything we can to weaken the Americans.

The Franco-German strategy was based on using Arab and Islamic extremism and terrorism as the weapon of choice, and the United Nations as the straitjacket for blocking a decisive response from the United States.

(snip)

It sounds fanciful, to be sure. But the smartest people I know have been thoroughly astonished at recent French and German behavior.

Uh, Michael, given your milieu, I am taking no comfort in their being "the smartest people you know".  The lint from my dryer is smarter than the smartest people you know.  

 If this is correct, we will have to pursue the war against terror far beyond the boundaries of the Middle East, into the heart of Western Europe.

You gotta hand it to those NeoCons.  They have such vivid imaginations.  (I hear it's native to their people just like a sense of entitlement and no rhythm.)

Back to the Salon interview!  On the US using propaganda and financial incentives to incite Democratic Revolution in Iran:

Why will this work?

Well, I'm not sure it will work. But it ought to work. I mean, Iran fulfills every condition of a revolutionary society. It's a wildly unpopular government, it's a very young population, they've shown their unhappiness with it in every way that you can imagine, from street demonstrations to celebrating banned holidays and everything like that. The polls that the regime itself takes show upwards of 70 percent of the people wanting regime change. So why not? I mean, it ought to work. And most revolutions require some kind of external base of support in order to succeed.

Okay, Ledeen, you poisonous little toad, shut your fat fucking mouth and listen up.  Phrases like, "That plan's so crazy it just might work!" and "We don't have a plan B." are great in movies like "Independence Day" and episodes of "The A-Team", but in real life foreign policy where people are maimed and killed?  Insufficient.  Not.  Acceptable.  And the President only listens to your advice because you bring him Reese's Pieces every time you visit the White House.  I'm not alright with that as the basis of your legitimacy in the shaping of American policy.  You may be, but I'm not.

But what would you want to see happen if democratic revolution doesn't work?

I don't really have an answer to that, because I expect that revolution will work.

Do we need to go into how you "expected" things to go in Iraq, dick-for-brains? 

Do you speak Farsi, the language of Iran?

No. That's why God invented translators.

"ME BIG PUKKA SAHIB!  ME NO NEED TO LEARN BROWN PEOPLE'S FUNNY-TALK!"

You once wrote that "if we come to Baghdad, Damascus and Tehran as liberators, we can expect overwhelming popular support." Do you regret having written that?

No, I think we had it. We certainly had it in Baghdad at the beginning. And I think that if we were successful in supporting democratic revolution in Tehran, we'd have unbelievable popular support, and I should think in Damascus as well, although I should confess I don't know Syria as well as I know Iran.

Translation: "Just because my idiotic plans utterly, spectacularly failed before doesn't mean that we shouldn't try again and again until the whole planet's made of radioactive glass!"

On that troublesome mullah who refuses to do the gentlemanly thing and kick the bucket to salvage what's left of Ledeen's credibility:

In the case of the Khamenei story right now, I don't know what the truth is. I've said that.

Pfffft.  In that and all stories, Mr. Ledeen.

But I'm trying to follow the story as closely as I can. I'm totally unconvinced by the so-called evidence from the Iranians that he's alive. I mean, the films could have been doctored, the photographs are clearly — some of the photographs are clearly old photographs. What I am sure of is that if he isn't dead, he's in terrible physical condition and that the power struggle for succession to Khamenei is well under way. That's for sure.

Ah, yes, the ever popular Malkin/LGF Photoshop dodge.  How convenient. 

Well, isn't there a risk of, you know, destabilizing the entire region?

The region is happily destabilized. And Iran is a great destabilizing force itself.

Great, Ledeen.  Basically what you're saying is that it's perfectly okay if you wake somebody up by repeatedly hitting them in the face with a sledge-hammer and when they scream, "WHY?  WHY?  WHYYYYYY?", you tell them that now their face has been "happily asymmetrified"?  "Your facial features have been given their freedom!  The freedom to swell and collapse where they may!  Your teeth are now individuals, no longer constrained by the linear tyranny of mandibular dictatorship!"

Clearly, it's the American way.

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