running on fumes

You have to wonder what they were huffing over at Snuff Radio KSFO when they planned their Very Special Broadcast for this last Friday afternoon.

Mike Stark:

At times, the KSFO special radio afternoon was uproarious and side-splitting. At other times, it was darkly disturbing. Sometimes, it was both at the same time.Unfortunately, “honest,” “serious,” and “relevant” aren’t adjectives that immediately spring to mind after listening to KSFO hosts Melanie Morgan, Brian Sussman, “Occifer Vic” and Lee Rodgers engage in a three hour session of desperate and defensive damage control.

Indeed.  Rocked by the desertion of suddenly squeamish advertisers, the hate merchants at KSFO abruptly decided to go live for three hours on Friday to explain their positions, lash out at Spocko, the blogger who started it all, and have a big, sticky, cringe-inducing group hug with their gun-humping, sheet-wearing, inbred audience of right-wing half-wits. 

And oh, my sweet gentle Jesus, what a show.  Really, it's hard to decide which of these deeply irony-impaired, hate-mongering, uneducated pathological liars was the worst.

But let's start with Melanie Morgan.  She ran the full gamut from A to B and back again as she eloquently (not) made her case for delcious moments captured on tape like this one where she and Ann Coulter are snorting through their noses over the execution of liberals.  Ann's on the phone speaking in her trademark Connecticut-on-Diet-Pills Lockjaw where her back teeth never separate: 

"Wahll, Mahlanie, the only thing that raahhlly needs to be decided in the maahh-thod of aahx-ah-cution."

"Aw-HAW, well, we can quibble!" brays Morgan like a blue-ribbon ass at a county fair.

So, how does Morgan defend this type of eliminationist swill?  Well, first she's aggrieved, "I'm on the radio TWENTY HOURS a WEEK!  HOW am I supposed to keep track of every little thing I say when ALL I'm trying to do is work hard and do my best (sniiifffff) for the American people and for the troops (*sob*)…".  I know.  Grit your teeth, it gets worse, because then she gets belligerent, "I think of myself as a WARRIOR for TRUTH!  And I SAY what I believe in and I'll FIGHT for the RIGHT to SAY IT!  Nobody's gonna tell ME what I can and can't say!!" and then she's dismissive, "I just don't understand what all the fuss is about.  You know, we were just having some fun talking about stomping people's faces in, and now these COWARDLY LIBERALS are trying to take food off the table of all the good people who work on this show…"

The real highlight of the whole show was Mike Stark calling in and wiping the floor with Melanie and pals.  Of course, at the end of the call we are treated to the spectacle of a man operating under a stage name ("Lee Rodgers") accusing bloggers of immaturity and cowardice for not using their real names and then shouting, "I WILL NOT BE SILENCED BY THE LEFT!" as he hangs up on Mike Stark, the one dissenting voice that has spoken on the show within the last three hours.

Sigh.

Like I said.  Irony.  Impaired.

But wheels are coming off all over Righty Dumbfuckistan.

Tucker Carlson is getting stroppy with video store clerks:

Carlson, 37, reappeared at the video store and, said Williamson, "got pretty aggressive." According to Williamson, Carlson confronted him about the blog and said he viewed the post as a threat to him and his wife. "He said, 'If you keep this [expletive] up, I will [expletive] destroy you,' " Williamson recalled.

Um, a guy with a Johnny Cougar haircut and a bow-tie who is DEFINITELY older than 37 screams, "I will fucking destroy you!" to a video store clerk and I'm not supposed to laugh at his pain?  Oh, ho, ho, my friend, I think that is where you are WRONG!

Rush Limbaugh has gone from incoherent to, well, even more incoherent:

Rush Limbaugh said: "Here you have a rich white chick with a huge, big mouth, trying to lynch this — an African-American woman — right before Martin Luther King Day, hitting below the ovaries here." Additionally, Limbaugh called the exchange "a great example of the anger and arrogance of [the Democrats]," and claimed that the "implosion" of the Democratic Party is happening "sooner" than he anticipated.

Who's imploding, now, fatboy? 

And apparently Bill O'Reilly has wheeled a tank of nitrous oxide into his office so that he and Michelle Malkin can act out the "Daddy's coming home" scene from Blue Velvet over and over and over as soon as she gets back from Iraq.  Even Tucker Carlson can see that all isn't well with Bill-O:

On the January 8 edition of MSNBC's Tucker, Newsweek senior editor Jonathan Alter compared Fox News' Bill O'Reilly to a "blimp … balloon in one of those parades," adding that O'Reilly is "so full of himself" and is "so inflated, it's coming out of his ears." Host Tucker Carlson had asked his guests what they thought "of the meltdown occurring in public of Bill O'Reilly," saying that MSNBC's Keith Olbermann, host of Countdown, "has set out to drive Bill O'Reilly crazy, and apparently he's succeeded." Carlson also stated that he is "not a huge fan of the [Fox] network — but some of [the people that work there] are decent, and some of them are — actually are intelligent." Tucker's other guest, retired Col. Jack Jacobs, concluded of O'Reilly's flagging ratings that "there's a finite life to everything."

Isn't it rich?  Isn't it queer?  Seeing these asshats deflaaaaaate/and end theeeeir careers?

Ahem, sorry.

There's a quote from the show in the New York Times that pretty much sums up why the bloggers may actually end up bringing these people to their knees.  Their backs are against the wall, but they can't conceive that it was their own actions that got them there.  They think it's all about a couple of guys with computers in their basements making their lives difficult, when in fact it is a massive cultural shift that's changing the terrain under their feet:

Most of the callers were sympathetic during Friday’s broadcast, but one blogger who has supported Spocko’s cause, Mike Stark, was encouraged to call in. The extended dialogue perhaps can best be summarized by one exchange.

Mr. Stark: “You’ve spoken of the number of apologies you have tried to make. How many apologies does a professional get before they realize they are an incompetent and move on to another line of work?”

KSFO’s Lee Rodgers: “Well I haven’t apologized for anything and I am not going to start with you. How the hell do you like that, creep?”

Oh, we like it just fine, Mr. Rodgers.  You hang on to that pugnacious spirit of yours.  Don't let anybody tell you what to do!  I suspect that attitude will serve you very well at the Unemployment Office.

Next!