File this under, "Not for the Faint of Heart":

Here's your chance to work for Bob Woodward

(via Romenesko) Bob Woodward's looking for a new full-time assistant to act as his "right hand man or woman." His ad on a journalism jobs site -- written by current assistant Bill Murphy Jr. -- says: "You will research, report, write and edit. You will also handle administrative matters -- transcribing interview tapes, helping him keep track of his calendar and requests, and running his small office" out of his Washington, DC home.

We're going to call this movie The Devil Wears Florsheim.

"Primarily, you will work on whatever major project Bob undertakes next, be it another book, articles for The Washington Post, etc. Most of the time you will be working on several things at once, and sometimes these 'secondary assignments' can take on a life of their own."

Something tells me that "secondary assignments" includes things like picking up Mr. Woodward's dry cleaning, walking his nasty little Jack Russell terrier "Spiro", and mixing the perfect Boodles martini.  Not to mention calculating prescription drug interactions, fielding Mr. Woodward's hysterical 3:30am calls, nursing him through his crying jags, and various other things that "can take on a life of their own".

Come to think of it, is it me or does this ad have a certain blasted, PTSD quality?

"Second, think about whether you really want to work for one person, being more or less at his beck and call for two years. Bob is a great boss, but this job is intense and demanding, and it's not for everyone."

Oh, yeah.  Definitely traumatized.  That poor son of a bitch.

So, who do you think would be good for that job?  Clearly someone with a pathological need for access to someone who has access, no personal ideological compass, and an ability to hang on tight through Woodward's neck-whipping shifts of allegiance from BushCo shill to tepid war critic and maybe back again.  Gotta be ready for "whatever major project Bob undertakes next", ya greenhorn.  K-Lo springs to mind.  Oh, no, wait:

"To be blunt, we are probably NOT looking for someone 24-25 years old, two or three years out of college, looking to move on from his or her first job."

How old is K-Lo?  In people years, I mean.  Oh yeah, and not moving on from your first job, which pretty much rules out the whole passel of Wingnut Welfare Queens over at The Corner.

Maybe someone should call DANGERSTEIN.  He's elevated toadying sycophantism to an art form and he apparently has no compunctions about working under egomaniacal arseholes who talk about themselves in the third person.  He's awfully excitable, though.

But what about Judy Miller?  She's probably got some time on her hands.  At least until the Libby trial kicks off.  Just a little side job to keep her in quilted Chanel jackets.

"This is not a job to expect to have for your entire career. The normal model is 'two years or one book,' whichever comes first."

That might need to be modified to read "two years, one book, or until the first massive meltdown tantrum when you bring Mr. Woodward his corned beef on rye with yellow mustard instead of brown".  Or "two years, one book, or until you are summoned for questioning by a grand jury, whichever comes first".

Shine up your resumes, kids.  I know I'm sending mine.