It is time for us to perpetuate the War on Christmas by indulging in secular humanist gift-giving. It is critical to our liberal way of life. As the Bible says, "we hold these truths to be self-evident":
Some might argue that eliminating Christmas would be a tremendous waste of both the public’s time and good will, and that Democrats should instead focus on implementing policies to raise the minimum wage or let the government negotiate for lower prescription drug prices. You know, things that might help people.
This argument is, to put it politely, a stinking pile of rubbish. What many liberals and progressives don’t seem to understand is that banning Christmas is the linchpin of our entire agenda. As Mr. O’Reilly once astutely noted, the war on Christmas is “part of the secular-progressive agenda to get Christianity and spirituality and Judaism out of the public square” and pave the way for “secular progressive programs like legalization of narcotics, euthanasia, abortion at will, [and] gay marriage.” When the man is right, he's right.
I for one understand that Christmas is the only thing standing between me and my lifelong dream of euthanizing my relatives, grabbing their inheritance, buying lots of drugs, getting a sex change, and marrying a lesbian. If Nancy Pelosi is as dedicated to her San Francisco values as the conservative media say she is, then she should put ending Christmas and subsidizing my lifestyle at the top of her legislative agenda. After all, if Speaker Pelosi decided to forsake destroying Christmas in favor other policies, it could signal that the right-wing punditocracy has been exaggerating the left’s ambitions to abolish religion from the public square all along. And, really, what are the chances of that?
Today Jesus' General will be joining us in the comments section to discuss his own suggestions for gifts suitable for the French. And I would like to put in my own recommendation for the Brave New Films box set of documentaries, which I got recently as a gift and am absolutely thrilled about.
So, please feel free to discuss your recommendations for gifts which will destroy the spirit of Christmas, and bring out the inner godless father-raping secularist in all of us.
Related posts:
- FDL Book Salon Welcomes Matt Taibbi, The Great American Bubble Machine
- What’s Your Gift-Shopping Philosophy?
- FDL Book Salon Welcomes Scott Page: The Difference
- FDL Book Salon Welcomes Matthew Kerbel, Netroots: Online Progressives and the Transformation of American Politics
- FDL Book Salon Discusses “The Test Of Our Times” With Gov. Tom Ridge
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Neoconservative greetings to the patriotic human resources at FDL.
Sorry I’m late. I don’t understand the tubes.
Attennnnnsshun!
Greetings, General, Jane…
[executes snappy salute]
So, please feel free to discuss your recommendations for gifts which will destroy the spirit of Christmas, and bring out inner godless father-raping secularist in all of us.
Well, if I may, Watertiger and I have a calendar available
It has a simulated topless K-Lo, you really cannot crush a soul better than that.
I’ll just post my list again here to save you the hassle of surfing.
Support the people who fight in the Glorious Conservative Christian Cultural Revolution. Please buy your holiday gifts from the General’s readers and other friends of the Francosphere.
Books
Most of these books are linked through my Amazon Associates account, but if you’d rather support an independent bookseller, call or email JG commenters SeattleDan and SeattleTammy at Jackson Street Books, (206) 324-7000.
Before the Storm: Barry Goldwater and the Unmaking of the American Consensus by Rick Perlstein (It’s out of print, but you can email him for a copy). I’ve read it. It’s a fantastic book.
Cable News Confidential: My Misadventures in Corporate Media by Jeff Cohen (Great book, especially p. 187)
The Lifelong Activist by Hillary Rettig
Over Here: An American Expat in the South of France by Randy Lofficier
Scary: A Book of Horrible Things for Kids by Joaquin Ramon Herrera (Check out his blog too. I love it.)
The Scopes “Monkey Trial” by Anne Janette Johnson
The Sinner’s Guide to the Evangelical Right by Robert Lanham
Strawberry Days: How Internment Destroyed a Japanese American Community by David Neiwert (Other great books by David: Death on the Fourth of July: The Story of a Killing, a Trial, and Hate Crime in America and In God’s Country: The Patriot Movement and the Pacific Northwest.)
DVDs
Red State: The Movie
This Divided State
Helping others
Give the gift of life.
Other
Miss Poppy Dixon’s gifts for your inner Christianist.
Books written by friends in the Francosphere and friends of the Francosphere
Again, most of these books are linked through my Amazon Associates account, but if you’d rather support an independent bookseller, call or email JG commenters SeattleDan and SeattleTammy at Jackson Street Books, (206) 324-7000.
Crashing the Gate by Jerome Armstrong and Markos Moulitsas Zuniga
The dKos Trollhouse Cookbook by 42 and grndrush
FUBAR by Sam Seder
Hell in a Handbasket” by Tom Tomorrow
Hostile Takeover: How Big Money and Corruption Conquered Our Government–and How We Take It Back by David Sirota
How Would a Patriot Act? Defending American Values from a President Run Amok by Glenn Greenwald
Is That a Politician in Your Pocket: Washington on $2 Million a Day by Micah Sifray and Nancy Watzman
Kosmos: You are Here by Steven Darksyde and Mark Sumner
Lapdogs by Eric Boehlert
Sweet Relief: The Marla Ruzicka Story by Jennifer Abrahamson
Prisoner of Trebekistan: A Decade in Jeopardy! by Bob Harris
The Politics of Truth by Joseph Wilson
Wait! Don’t Move to Canada: A Stay-and-Fight Strategy to Win Back America by Bill Scher
What’s Liberal About the Liberal Arts?: Classroom Politics and “Bias” in Higher Education by Michael Brub
CDs
In the Year of Storms, composed by Stirling Newberry
XaoS, composed by Sterling Newberry
DVDs
Offerings by Brave New Films:
Iraq for Sale
Walmart: The High Cost of Low Price
Outfoxed
and more..
I’ll add that Mr. Turk.
There’s nothing that ruins an Islamunistofascists day more than a simulated topless K-Lo, Mr. Turk.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @
5
[bows and scrapes before Gen. Christian]
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @ 6
Well we also have Katherine Harris after a bikini-wax …
still you are right sir.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @
6
**Shudder**
Attaturk @
8
and a naked Rick Santorum with strategically placed puppies.
which might get K-Lo to buy it, now that I think of it.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @ 1
No problem. Neither does our
ChimpCommander-in-Chief.Btw…
Hi, everyone!
So far, I’m liking these gift suggestions. : )
Matt Browner-Hamlin @ 9
What?
Not a selling point?
I think it’s important to support our blog warriors and the patriots who support them.
I’m very dissapointed with Watertiger however. That photo of Mr. Rumsfeld caused me to act inappropriately. Repeatedly.
Mon Dieu! C’est le general de Jesus! Cacher les femmes et le vin!….
Ou cacher peut-etre les garcons?? (Nous savons quel Cletus a indique.)
General, sir,
I often find myself asking “What would the General do?” when doing my Bushmas shopping. Now I know! I consider furthering the Glorious Christian Revolution an integral part of my shopping, and will make sure each of my representatives in Congress get at least one copy of Glenn’s book, if not something else from your recommended reading list.
You still make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, in a purely heterosexual way.
Best of luck in the 2006 Blog Awards!
I should think cinders and switches should be appropriate for the French. There is, after all, nothing so irritating as people you don’t like being right.
Kee-rist, Attaturk, you’re batting a thousand today. I really did not think you could top the Donald Rumsfeld “image be gone” moment from the last thread, but it seems that you have.
Nice work. No doubt the baby Jesus weeps.
watertiger @ 10
Just the thought of that is making my tummy hurt…
Excuse me while I go lose my lunch.
Save it for Chavez, mikeinseatle. We’re in America. We speak American not Venezuelan here.
watertiger @ 10
You mean like this?
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @ 13
you don’t by any chance have a picture of Cher straddling the 8″ guns, do you?
Wait, I’ll come in again.
Let’s send Holy Joe to Iraq for Christmas.
That way Bush can say he’s done everything in his power to get to the bottom of the problem.
General Suh,
There are a lot of French here, suh.
Thanks for all the gift ideas. Unfortunately. Sen. Lieberman still hasn’t paid me for my four votes in the CT primary.
OT suh. I was riding the bus home after the Clan meeting and everyone of course agreed that Mary was a virgin before giving birth to Gawd, but some doubted that she was still a virgin after the birth.
Suh, I am more ashamed than usual, because I didn’t punch anyone for their disrespect to the Mother of Gawd, but I was sitting in front of them, so they would have seen it coming. Do you have any suggestions for how I could handle this in the future?
I was going to send Bush a brain but I was afraid he would only play with the box.
Mrs. Katherine Jean Santorum
Mrs. Katherine Jean Lopez-Santorum
Kathy Santorum
Mr. & Mrs. Richard Santorum
You just know the trash bins at the NRO are full of ‘em.
Noonan @ 20
Don’t make me link to the image, Noonan.
One thing I left out was the Mel Gibson butt plug.
Jane Hamsher @ 25
It’s now all Romney’s
Jane Hamsher @ 17
Thank goodness I only use my powers for good. ;-)
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @ 27
And the one for Our Leader.
Attaturk @ 28
must . . . refrain . . . from . . . “moist” jokes . . .
You can’t get any closer to the Decider than that.
Moist Romney
For Mark Foley, any book will do, since they all are full of pages.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @ 30
All I have to say about this is…
AGHHHHHHHH!
; )
youtube, Cher “If I could turn back time”
A useless piece of info, they were 16 inch guns. Pretty much obsolete today, but a helluva a phallic symbol.
watertiger @ 26
Well, I was just trying to plug a Humane Society calendar…
watertiger @ 31
Engage “Walkin’ in Our Mormon Underwear” tune.
http://rising-hegemon.blogspot…..-week.html
For the Warmonger in your life, or to discourage Republicans from stopping by your cubicle, I recommend
The USB Missile Launcher
Oh please please please…
I would like to point out, for the record, that not everyone named Cletus is a goddamned liar. Some of us are more or less truthful. Thank you.
My inner Frenchman has read all if Dave Niewerts (Orcinus books) Loved them.
LMAO
Gen. JC Christian, patriot,
What should I do now with my BUSH-PINOCHET ‘04 T-shirt I bought from you back in 2004? The other General passed away today, so legislation to make him eligible to run in our elections will probably never pass.
Cletus is a God damned liar!
In addition to the great documentaries Jane linked to, does any one have a link, or even a list, of great and relevant fiction movies? I’m not a film buff but I’m gift buying for some like-minded friends. Is there such a thing as box sets based on theme rather than artist(s)?
Noonan @ 37
Well, I was just trying to plug a Humane Society calendar…
LOL! I saw; somehow, I don’t think the Humane Society would approve.
Ed*ard Teller @ 43
We still have Jerry Wexler’s fater-in-law, Rios-Mott–he was one of those authoritarians Mrs. Kirkpatrick loved so much.
I watched “In the Name of the Father” again last night. The way the Conklins were treated reminded me of what we’re doing today, although they had habeas corpus.
The Perlstein is a very worthwhile – if highly Gallic – read … and will prepare your friends and families for the upcoming best selling sequel, Nixonland!
just sayin’
and Mon General! It is an honor to have you visit our humble abode de virtuelle
smiley @ 45
V for Vendetta
watertiger @ 46
LOL! I saw; somehow, I don’t think the Humane Society would approve.
Sure, and my wife was just finishing supper when I saw that.
What I found most amusing in my linked post – the author works for a national “weiner dog” rescue operation – and was promoting a nude calendar.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @
44
You know, Cletus was the name of the third pope (who was the first pope who had never been Jewish). Is this the Cletus to which you refer?
John Casper @ 42
I mean, is that anatomically correct?
Shouldn’t his head be up his own butt? Call it the BushButt ring. All the goopers must want ‘em. Specially Ricky the one-dog-man love assn. He’s got the time now…n’est ce pas?
General, Sir!
Thanks for those gift ideas. I’m pretty sure a simulated topless K-Lo will liven up the Christmas table discussion.
John Casper @ 36
I suffer from the soft bigotry of low expectations. ;-)
I’m pretty sure The Decider already has a butt plug.
He told Rove to put the ISG Report where the sun don’t shine, and . . .
I find myself increasingly nostalgic for the film Z by Costa-Gravas:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065234/
Perlstein is a great friend of the Francosphere and his book is incredible. It’s out of print but if you email him, he’ll send you a copy for $20.
Bob Novak: GOP hopefuls hope Hastert stays away
Bold is mine.
St. Ronnie of the Salvadoran Genocide used 16 inch guns to win the hearts and minds of the Lebanese.
They thanked us by blowing up the Marine barracks.
We responded by invading Grenada two weeks later.
I don’t believe the Lebanese are real. Ladies can’t have sex with each other. They don’t have “little soldiers.”
A little modern American Indian history,for those with an interest:
On DVD:
Incident at Oglala
Trudell
Books:
In the Spirit of Crazy Horse by Peter Matthiessen
Prison Writings:My Life is My Sun Dance by Leonard Peltier
Lakota Woman by Mary Crow Dog
For This Land and Custer Died for Your Sins by Vine Deloria Jr.
On The Rez by Ian Frazier
General,
I posted this earlier, but wanted your take on Biden’s present options:
November 7, 2003:
“I am convinced we have one last shot at bringing the world into Iraq,” said Sen. Joseph R. Biden Jr. of Delaware.
May 24, 2004:
We’ve made significant mistakes. Our one last shot to get this right
June 19, 2005:
There’s one last shot at getting this right in Iraq.
June 21, 2005:
I personally think we should take one last shot at trying to do this the right way.
November 21, 2005:
we have one last shot at getting this right.
August 17, 2006:
We’ve got one last shot here….
Today:
we have one last shot to figure out how to deal with the chaos in Iraq.
Is Biden merely hinting he wants to go hunting with Deadeye Dick, or what?
Sir General …
I admire your dedication in appearing here today when you and yours must be mourning the passing of Pinochet. Such a role model for growing democracies!
V for Vendetta encouraged terrorism by glorifying the acts of a man who was trying to overthrow his authoritarian government.
Can anyone tell me where I can find a “notjenna-2007-Calendar”?
Siun @ 63
I was wondering if the General would want us to stuff and mount Pinochet for him.
Unless that’s too kinky?
smiley @
45
“In the Time of the Butterflies’ comes to mind.
Newly elected Senate Republican Whip Trent Lott will host a 10 a.m. coffee session for invited Republican guests Tuesday at the Phoenix Park Hotel on Capitol Hill to discuss Sen. John McCain’s impending campaign for president with him and McCain.
Lott, a supply-sider and social conservative, had not been allied with McCain previously. However, in his e-mailed invitation, Lott asserted, ”John and I have been friends for many years, and my respect for him is unparalleled.”
Tuesday’s meeting with McCain, Lott said, will ”begin to build an organization that focuses not on our differences, but on our shared goals for peace and prosperity for this nation.”
Attaturk …I must say I find the “mount” suggestion not to my taste … however, the General may approve!
Gen Christian:
Who exactly, is Cletus?
An Angry Old Broad @ 61
Absolutely. You cannot understand moder America without reading or seeing these. In the Spirit of Crazy Horse is one of the most important books I’ve read.
BTW, I heard what happened at Oglala from someone who was there (I’ve independently verified it.) It’s a long story, so I won’t tell it here, but if you’re interested, write me. Maybe my inner Frenchman will do a Kos Diary on it.
Might I also suggest The Great Risk Shift by Jacob Hacker, and Imperial Life in the Emerald City by Rajiv Chandrasekaran. Both were very affecting to me this year, and the people I know who have read them subsequent to the Book Salons we had on each say the same thing.
Cool General,I shall fling an email your way. I have friends at Pine Ridge who are near and dear to my heart.
Cletus is my adjutant. He tells lies about me and him and Sheila the Militia Morale Sheep. It’s all untrue, and besides, I was drunk.
With all this talk of Buttplugs, I was reminded that I once recommended this as a gift for Karl “Turdblossom” Rove.
General sir,
How do I break it to my little boy that Pinochet is dead? ‘Cause the boy really loved Pinochet’s wacky adventures. And the Disney cartoon of his exploits. Do you think Pinochet will stay dead, or do you think Gepetto will get the Blue fairy to bring him back to life?
How does a little boy made of wood die, anyhow?
An Angry Old Broad @ 61
Samuel Carter, author of Cherokee Sunset, writes: “Then … there came the reign of terror. From the jagged-walled stockades the troops fanned out across the Nation, invading every hamlet, every cabin, rooting out the inhabitants at bayonet point. The Cherokees hardly had time to realize what was happening as they were prodded like so many sheep toward the concentration camps, threatened with knives and pistols, beaten with rifle butts if they resisted.” In the terror of the forced marches, the Cherokee were not always able to give their dead a full burial.
And let’s not forget Confederate Yankee’s seminal work on buttplugs.
Okay. Poor choice of words.
Junya’s wish list for Santa:
A crayon with an eraser – “Ah make a lotta boo-boos”.
A new ISG Report colorin’ book – “Ah din’t find no pictures to color”.
A new Rummy doll – “The old one don’t have no stuffin’ in its head no more”.
A new pair of cammie jammies – “Ah made another boo-boo”.
A new
jugvial of Old Grandad parfumee – “Please wrap in brown paper and leave under mah pillow”.New saddle for
pig farmranch in Paraquay – “Mah p-pi-pi-pony Porki is hard to ride with no saddle”.John Casper #59,
LOL, old habits die hard and while there are no conservative comedians, there is a lot of conservative comedy.
Happy Holidays everyone – oh, wait, am I allowed to say that? Merry Christmas!
lol.
Gawd… I can’t stop thinking of when Reilly aired a year old video from a person and used it to prove how bad the attacks on Christmas were at what was then the present. It was a shocking display of propaganda and lack of any journalistic integrity whatsoever.
I’d add “Agents of Repression” and “The Cointelpro Papers” to the list of Peltier and American Indian Movement related materials. Both were written by Jim Vander Wall and Ward Churchill. No mathher what you think about Churchill, these books are well researched. They’re based on thousands of FBI documents, many of which are reprinted (xerox copies) in The Cointelpro Papers.
Yes Jane, Buttplugs seem to becoming a holiday tradition with me.
The NYT finally adds it all up… Hello Col. Fucktard, have clue, will travel…
Those BushyButt lickers. They get in the way of the real pricks.
An Angry Old Broad @
73
General,
An ex-student of mine began his two-year LDS missionary stint at Pine Ridge this September. He’s beginning to have doubts about the whole LDS schtick. He’d probably benefit from some Pine Ridge truth.
Rosebud!
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @ 83
Whoops. I meannt Christmas Tradition. Now I have to go to Seattle to see the guy who spanks people for money. His Terrible Spatula of Redemption will set me back on the straight and narrow.
Siun @
57
God! i saw that in a double feature with Battle of Algiers in 1970(?) at the Circle Theatre in Georgetown! There’s some shellshock.
Princess Di reappearing at news stations near you!!!
NOOO– NOOOO- Please—-You can keep Tony if ya want- but no more Princess Di– PLEASE!
Ed*ard Teller @ 85
I don’t know why a Lamanite would have problems with a religion that says his ancestors were “cursed” with dark skin.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @ 13
I was recently talking with two blogger-authors who have had zero luck getting liberal magazines – publications like The Nation, Harpers, and Washington Monthly – to review their books. I think this is a disgrace.
We need to buy blogger books, but like-minded publications can’t sit on their hands while fantastic progressive authors are struggling to promote their work. Not every blogger book is going to be authored my Glenn Greenwald or Jerome Armstrong. Books don’t sell themselves and we all have to work together to spread ideas that can help reform our country.
Has anyone else heard of progressive publications not reviewing blogger books? What can we do to put pressure on their managements to build an ethic of supporting blogger books?
Do angry left bloggers have to give fearless leader Kos Xmas gifts?
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @ 83
They’re terrific conversation starters.
Errr….
Speaking of literary gifts, I highly recommend Killer Instinct by Jane Hamsher.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @ 83
Brings a whole new meaning to sitting under the mistletoe.
Great conversation stoppers for people who are always pulling stuff out of their ass.
ugh…are seeming to become. I’m no good at this real time stuff.
So what is the difference between a buttplug and an asshat?
Hugh @ 97
the grosgrain ribbon.
Try to support your local independent book stores if possible. Two of my commenters, SeattleDave and SeattleTammy have a place called Jackson Street Books in Seattle. They’ll order things for you if you send them an email or give them a call, (206) 324-7000. But do it quick if you want it by Christmas.
Hey! Atlas’ Pam has a gift-buying suggestion list, too!
I’d wondered where Jane found those shoes for the Late-night post…
(Public Service Announcement: Please clear your caches after viewing, it leaves a mark…)
Sorry I was late, dears. Busy doing the holiday baking, and I seem to have misplaced my spatula.
General, I’m so pleased you are here.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @ 96
Doing great General. I salute you for your dedication.
War of the Roses> was always a favorite movie and it might promote domestic altercations to help your cause.
All this talk of buttplugs doesn’t seem very…heterosexual. I’m beginning to think perhaps Cletus was not such a liar, after all.
Is Atlas done mourning?
Cleter …buttplugs are equal opportunity accessories – otherwise, I am sure the General, bless his heterosexual heart, would never think to mention them.
watertiger @ 98
I was going to say “sitting about 6 inches offcenter” but the ribbon is better.
Miss Poppy Dixon has gifts for the Christianist in your life. I’m partial to her “Lock-n-Load Jesus” line of merchandise, myself.
Siun @ 105
Well, I stand corrected. My sex ed class had taught that real sex was strictly between a *enis and a *agina, and involvement of anything else was gay and/or wrong. But, what can you expect from the godless, secular, butt-hating public schools?
As we plan our holiday, perhaps the General could enlighten us as to the his plans for the holiday – gifts Christmas eve or Christmas day? Goose or Ham or ? cookies and milk or a slug of brandy?
I’ve bought most of my holiday gifts from Miss Poppy – thank you, General, for the recommend.
Your astute biography of the Bush family and their supreme sacrifices in the war effort have been posted over at Myleftnutmeg.com – we here in Connecticut are always excited when some of our own contribute. We are especially proud of Prescott Bush, a Greenwich resident. Those innunendos about his Nazi past are so yesterday.
This is just like when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. The General has to “go in their door” to understand the enemy. It’s just another example of his unceasing devotion to mission. BTW, the French invented buttplugs, because they are atheists.
What’s with that Christmas song where they “don we now our gay apparel,” anyway. Why doesn’t Mr. O’Reilly do a show on that?
Perhaps the General and his soldiers would like to head on over to Tom DeLay’s new blog. After all this is his last Christmas as a free man for some time to come.
http://www.tomdelay.com/
M. General –
Je suis content que vous tes ici.
Qu’ est-ce que je peux achter Jebus pour le Nol?
Avec respect,
Tengrain
What manner of butt plug would you recommend for Mr. Delay?
oooh … a charming young lady on CNN just called the ISG “the Iraq Surrender Group” … how droll!
her name is Diane West and she writes for Rev Moon and just added “we look like Lichtenstein!”
Mon General – are you writing her lines?
Siun @ 109
My neighbor, Mr. Garcia, is always very depressed over the holidays. His divorce, 15 years ago, hit him very hard. So, my wife, OfJoshua, usually goes over and spends the Christmas Eve with him reading scriptures and listening to old Luther Vandross albums–she’s a very Christian, compassionate woman.
Our boy, Jesus Garcia Christian, usually goes over on Christmas Day to be with them. That leaves me free to watch football and eat frito pie.
Siun @ 116
Diana West of the Washington Times.
perhaps OfJoshua would share her Frito Pie recipe with us … we do like recipes here at FDL!
you are so lucky to have such a compassionate wife!
Siun @
120
It’s supposed to be coming out in a cookbook soon. I’ll have to check and see where that’s at.
General Suh, you are such an inspiration. Give, give, give, and never count the cost.
Betty Crocker, move over!
What good news – we could plan a Book Salon for the launch of OfJoshua’s cookbook!
The General’s Very Manly Chips Ole [That’s the Spanish word, pronounced “O-Lay.” I don’t know how to put the accent on the e.]
1 10 oz bag of Fritos
1 can of chili.
2 cups shredded cheese (American, dammit*)
1 small jar of sliced jalape�o peppers
1 small onion
1 six pack of beer (I prefer the generic beer, the kind that comes in the white cans with the word “BEER” printed in big black block letters on it)
A box of band-aids
Directions:
Drink a beer. Cut off the top third of the frito bag leaving the fritos inside. Drink another beer. Scratch yourself. Heat the chili in your microwave. Drink two more beers while watching the chili turn round and round on the microwave carousel. Drink another beer. Chop the onion. Bandage the fingers you accidentally cut while chopping the onion. Scratch yourself. Do you have any beers left? If so, drink another beer. Pour everything into the bag of Fritos and serve with beer.
*Velveeta may be used as a substitute in an emergency.
I only have one recipe in it. It’s being written by someone named Deborah Uhler.
Siun @
117
Oh that’s good.
General Sir,I cannot send you an email,something isn’t working with your blog’s email linky thing.
Jane … I must say I could think of no other poltical genius but the General who could refer to Lichstenstein with such aplomb!
Thank you, Jane, for inviting me. I have to go now. I’m not admitting that I promised OfJoshua that I’d vacuum today–that would be a violastion of my patriarchial authority–but she’ll have my ass if I don’t do it.
An Angry Old Broad @ 127
patriotboy@charter.net
High times for the High Court… And the General…(?)
Court upholds “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” student banner
But the perfet “big bow” to wrap this reefage is the gift that Republicans just keep on giving (er, re-gifting)…
Ken Starr, star retorter. It’s a calumny! (It’s a KenStarr FirstAmendment buttplug!)
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @
129
Thank you so much, General. I’m sure your sage advise has inspired many to give War on Christmas gifts that support friends o’the blogosphere, and that is a very good thing.
General — it has been an honor!
Thanks General,an email has been sent.
The Conquest of New Spain
Bernal Diaz del Castillo
Almost as good as Joe Wilson!
Any progress with President Carter, Jane?
So Auguste Pinochet died on Human Rights Day? A step in the right direction…
Mregregious asked WHY I was watching Rumsfeld on television. I said because he was saying goodbye. Well ok then, good idea.
Putting the High back in Highway Safety: NYT again…
Do ya think Dubya is worried about a few truckers?
Hey — keep on truckin’!
Miss Poppy! I see wee gifties for the in-laws….
he he he.;)
ET, still no word from DB? Only the one note thanking us for a small donation at the beginning of the cycle.
I don’t base my existence on getting thanked, and good thing, but wondering?
Hurricane Arianna
She’s the Blackberry-toting, Bush-baiting Queen of the Blogosphere who has made her two-year-old website the most potent force in American politics. Paul Harris links up with Arianna Huffington to discover what makes the ultimate Net worker click
Sunday December 10, 2006
The Observer
http://observer.guardian.co.uk…..89,00.html
Oh, rats. I fear I missed being able to salute Mon General. I also know that almost all Frenchmen loathe, despise and detest anything that smacks of “helping,” unless it’s helping themselves. I annoy the French by visiting places like http://www.kiva.org or http://www.heifer.org. I know for a fact it infuriates the French when gifts leave the country or help people who have never bothered to be born into the “correct” family or profit by the repeal of the “death tax.” (Now, actually, THERE’S an idea… let’s tax death… oh, how the money will roll in…)
egregious @
141
Just wanted to thank you for an earlier comment about your Cherokee lineage. My wife’s GGGM may have shared a cave with your relatives…
We’re interested in that part of the family history and you gave us a lead…
Well, you can either leave this present under the virtual Christmas tree or you can open it up and pass it around.
Merry Mooglemoose!
http://teocawki.blogspot.com/2…..world.html
In the bah humbug category,
your recommendations for gifts which will destroy the spirit of Christmas
Honestly this is not where I am. I am FOR the spirit of Christmas, which is to think about things eternal, give to the poor, forgive people that have hurt me, reach out to those who are estranged from family and friends, show great tenderness to those who are facing extreme old age and death, and consider how I might contribute to REAL peace on earth.
My idea of a Christmas present is to take my 78 yr old aunt, who is losing her mind, to her very last Messiah concert. Sorry that I cannot help here with demonizing Christmas. For me this is real.
Sorry not to pile on to the anti-religious theme, but my faith is something alive and real. It calls me out every day and makes me paradoxically more active and more humble.
ymmv
neokneme @ 143
Cool. The new Indian museum of the Smithsonian has the petition against removal, signed by thousands of Cherokees, the point is that several thousand were literate enough to sign their names. Hope you can see it sometime. It was a religious experience.
Ed*ard Teller @ 137
U.S. hails Chile for surviving Pinochet.
Hmm, why did they leave out “U.S. hails Chile for surviving Pinochet and the CIA?”
The CIA had worked for months to destabilize the Allende government, including financing a truckers strike that paralyzed the delivery of goods across Chile, but Washington denied having anything to do with the coup itself.
Soon after Pinochet’s seizure of power, soldiers carried out mass arrests of leftists. Tanks rumbled through the streets of the capital, and many detainees were herded into the National Stadium, which became a torture and detention center. Other leftists were rounded up by death squads, and the “Caravan of Death” to Chile’s forbidding Atacama desert left victims buried in unmarked mass graves.
egregious @
141
I need to catch up with Diane soon! I asked her to write three poems about Winter for lyrics for me, and I’m eager to see if she’s been able to find the time and inspiration. After I turn grades in, a week from Tuesday, I’ll have time to track her down.
Her campaign manager was from out of state and left awhile ago, back to Ohio. The volunteer staff cleaned out the office before December 1.
She’s been with her son, supposedly in Maryland. If they’re near you, do you want me to see if I can get you ladies in touch?
Thanks again, egregious. Gratitude is about the now. We’ve yet more to discover.
Has King Karl Lost His Magic Touch?
It’s an ugly rumor, but it’s spreading like wildfire: Karl Rove has lost his touch. In an amazing betrayal within a family where top political aide Rove is royalty, Bushies have been sneering at his pre-election happy talk that the gop would keep the Senate and take a slight hit in the House, both soon to be run by Democrats. And now we learn that President Bush really believed the GOP was safe, too. On the day before the elections, he asked embattled House gop leader Dennis Hastert to run for speaker again so he could guide the White House’s agenda in Congress
(that last from raw story.)
Jeebus, why am I not surprised that Bushie Boy is that out of touch?
During Jesus General’s time on FDL I keep having to run in the living room to tell my hubby what was going on. He has gout. But it made him laugh sooooo hard. He wants a butt plug for Xmas now.
egregious @ 146
I was trying to edit, and it made a new post.
All thanks and praise to those working behind the scenes, and a hope that such feedback will help us be a better blog in ‘07.
General, sir, for a fine book on tactics as taught by a mad CIA operative to a pesky pack of followers, one might have a go at “Four Hands”, by Paco Ignacio Tabio II, St. Martin’s Press, New York, and for desert, “Passing Through”, by the same author. Trust me, you will be thanked.
Audrey @
75
Oh. My. God. I’m STILL howling, and it’s been at least half an hour since I saw this. Politeness forbids my asking how you found this item…?…!…?
Hey Folks, is this bitchen or what?
http://www.tomdelay.com/
John Casper @ 119
If Sun Myung Moon likes this fucking war so much, maybe he should be over there fighting it.
SeriousKidding @ 158
Oh, good. Fresh meat.
You know, there are a lot of Americans, I’m gonna go ahead and say a MAJORITY of Americans, who are concerned about the direction of our nation, the war in Iraq, loss of Constitutional rights, et al.
But we are going to lose them if they think we loathe and disdain their basic belief in God.
Crashing the gate/coalition building, you want to be serious about this? Then stop demonizing people who believe in God and want the country to live up to its original ideals.
Being scornful of people who celebrate Christmas? Oh, clever, very clever, and very short-sided if you are truly interested in changing things in this country. The majority of people are real Christians, unlike Haggard and the like, and do not take kindly to having their beliefs mocked and ridiculed.
Want to be a tiny group laughing about what’s going on, with no power to change anything? Keep it up.
Jane, Id missed that 11/04 post by The Editors… how funny! Glad you dug it up.
I think I’ve missed the General, but thanks for your (JG’s) priceless work throughout the year!
egregious @ 161
If you read Brad R.’s TAP piece, egregious, you will see it is tongue in cheek.
After all, if Speaker Pelosi decided to forsake destroying Christmas in favor other policies, it could signal that the right-wing punditocracy has been exaggerating the left’s ambitions to abolish religion from the public square all along. And, really, what are the chances of that?
Worth a jab:
Hey, how are those kids getting raised over there in Iraq? Is your undying support for this war helping them out? Just asking.
You know, there are a lot of Americans, I’m gonna go ahead and say a MAJORITY of Americans, who are concerned about the direction of our nation, the war in Iraq, loss of Constitutional rights, et al.
But we are going to lose them if they think we loathe and disdain their basic belief in God.
Absolutely correct. I’d oppose torturing my neighbor if so many Godless hippies didn’t also oppose it, and I’d be on board with helping the poor if the atheists would quit teasing me.
We’re talking about y’all upstairs… (well, not really about y’all…) but we are upstairs…
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @ 165
I would love to answer you with something pertinent, clever, humble, spiritual, and succinct, but I am too upset with (a) this country (b) people who think progress will be made by attacking the majority of Americans (c) attacks on REAL Christians, who may be few in number but are real in our heart and are trying to accomplish some good in our earthly lives.
I may be too far into the bottle to craft some clever reply but I hope you will consider that some people actually are believing Christians, not hypocrites using faith to gain power, and that some of us are actually trying to make a difference in this sorry world. For me, I am trying to save lives in Russia, make peace between our nations, help with elections in our country, raise 3 children, and keep my sanity. Oh well, 4 out of 5. Hope it’s worth it.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @
165
Help, I’m drowning in the gulf between misplaced humor and misunderstood snark…….glub, glub.
JC, I used to think you lived around Seattle, but somebody told me you live east of the mountains.
egregious @ 161
I’m guilty and unrepentant. God is unscathed.
As for man…
Republicans, publicans, moneychangers. What kind of spirits are they selling? (Or taking away?)
Keep up the good work all! And I’ll just be myself. Even if I am a troll.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @
165
Now here are some true believers who know how not to be teased!
dusty59 @
162
Dusty!! Nobody else got that joke. Thank you. I feel validated.
egregious — I think BradRocket’s post was making fun of Bill-O, not Christians or Christmas per se. But I appreciate your concern.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot @
118
Veridad!
cleter @
115
It should be big enough to prevent leakage. It isn’t polite to be leaking oil while walking down the street.
rwcole @
151
That would be *so* beautiful! I hasten to Raw Story.
I would recommend “The Decision to Use the Atomic Bomb” by Gar Alperovitz.
Ed*ard Teller @
43
Ahhh. The Bush/Pinochet bumpersticker still adorns my car. All. Time. Favorite. Campaign. Slogan.
Hugh, that Foley joke was funny as hell!