(Photo on the Isle of Grimsay, Scotland.)
I stumbled across the BBC's photoblog and prose blog compilations a while ago, and this photograph in particular just jumped out at me. It has such lonely feel — the footprints stretching out across the barren expanse of snow, no person or even an animal to be seen anywhere.
You can almost feel that sharp, painful cold in the air, the intake of breath when the wind starts up again and blows right through however many layers you've been able to put on before going outside. You can hear the crunch of the dry snow under your boots just looking at the footprints. And you can almost feel the joy of the person taking the photo, at getting this barren scenery in the shot, while at the same time feeling the ache of the lonliness of it as well.
The holiday season used to be a tough one for me. I've mentioned before that we had a hard time getting to our miracle, and that The Peanut truly is a grace for us. Prior to our run of luck that led to the birth of our lovely child, I had two miscarriages, two Christmases in a row, and I can tell you from personal experience that this is a sure way to numb and destroy any sort of joy for the season. In fact, it's a pretty good way to build up a storehouse of dread, to be quite honest.
The year that I was pregnant, I refused to buy any baby clothes or furniture or anything at all whatsoever — I would not even allow any baby item in our house – until we got past Christmas, for fear that something would happen. It was as though I held my breath through the several months beforehand just to be able to exhale at the end of Christmas Day.
So I know exactly what I'm talking about when I say that, for some folks, the holidays are not exactly a joyful season. (Yes, that's an understatement.)
And perhaps, I thought, this might apply to some of our readers here, as well: families aren't perfect, relationships sometimes crumble, sometimes we are facing a holiday without some special person (or pet..because they truly are family, too, at our house)…and it is tough to get into the mood for carols or feasting or whatever it is that you do this time of year.
And some folks don't even celebrate Christmahkwanzakah Festivus anyway.
I spent a chunk of last week putting together some stockings filled with toys and hats and mittens and all sorts of other fun things for kids that will be given out by the Salvation Army. (I was actually sewing the stockings closed while we were all chatting with Amb. Joe Wilson this week — talk about multi-tasking! The Peanut enjoyed being able to help kids out who might not have toys, even though it was very hard for her to not keep them all for herself. I'm very proud of her for being able to learn that lesson early.) I also put together a few more bundles for our local homeless Mission — they are overloaded this year, and a lot of folks are coming in with only the clothes on their backs. It's a tough year this year. Mr. ReddHedd gave a donation to a group called Nothing But Nets, which has had amazing success in combatting malaria with something as simple as mosquito netting — cutting the death rate for children in some areas in Africa in half for deaths from malaria. (In half! You can read even more about it here.)
But no matter how much good you do for others in need, or whatever else it is that you do as a diversion, you never really lose that ache when you are having one. I can still remember the years when it was all I could do not to burst into tears every single time I saw a child. Whatever the reason that things may or may not be rough for you this time of year, it can get stressful and exhausting and just plain overwhelming at times for everyone.
Trust me, it is not just you.
So today, I thought we could just kick back and think of this as a time to relax, away from the insanity that others like to call "The Mall," and just talk amongst ourselves.
How do you deal with family insanity this time of year? What is the best way that you've ever found to make your budget stretch or to make merry without a whole lot of change jingling out of your pocket? What is the thing that you do for yourself this time of year — self-care is a very important thing when you are bone weary and feeling drained and you still have to get up and start over again tomorrow or fight the crowds at Target to find that perfect gift for the picky person in your life or whatever it is that is stressing you out these days – so what have you done for yourself lately?
Let's just chat for a little while, and relax among friends…pull up a chair…
(Thanks to RevDeb for the e-mail nugget idea that turned into this thread today.)
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FDL!
Good Morning, Christy.
Stay warm.
fitz!
Christy–another bird website for you. It’s a local photographer, never met him/her but love the bird work especially.
I know what you mean, Christy. I used to love Christmas.
Somewhere along the line, my (now ex-)husband decided to cheat on me during the holidays.
Then, twice in the last two years I have been diagnosed with breast cancer in the month of December.
The holiday spirit I used to feel is gone gone gone.
Great book on how to reduce Christmas stress:
Unplug the Christmas Machine.
We used it for an advent series at my old church and my personal copy has been re-read to shreds.
Am trying to prepare for the Prince of Peace, not the Prince of Rushing Around Buying Stuff.
cosmo–How are you doing with the cancer? Are you in treatment?
((((cosmo))))
Can’t think Christmas here yet. It is election day here in LA-02!
To answer your question about self-care, I just started sponsoring a dog who needs medicine and special food. His name is Bingo.
[imagine little floating hearts here]
Also have cut my to-do list to the bone for the next 2 weeks. With winter depression I have to get the must things done early in order to rest closer to Christmas. So far so good. Today: must walk, can go to the grocery. That’s it.
edit: Thanks for the photo of Scotland, speaking of making my heart sing.
Lost My Father-In-Law Dec 27 10 years ago,
He was recovering nicely from a heart attack in the hospital on the 25th.
This is the first year without my father, who passed last Jan 7.
Holidays tend to remind us of what we are missing.
Strangely enough, having a small child is a great help through these times. I tend to focus on her experience and some of the joy finds its way back to me.
I have found that when you give from the heart you may receive so much more back.
Mornin’ all.
Christy, I’m so glad you were able to bring the Peanut into the world. There is more hope for humanity with additional Hardin Smiths influencing the direction.
But we’re gonna need few dozen more, at least. Maybe hundreds. Ya’ll up for it?
Cosmo and Christy,
It is amazing, isn’t it, how difficult situations are that much harder when they occur around Christmas and how they seem more likely to stay with you if they fall near this time of year.
I find Christmas very difficult, and I’m a minister’s daughter! There are personal reasons for this, but I also find the crass materialism and marketing, the emphasis on the gift giving, the tackiness of it all very disheartening.
I grit my teeth every year to get through these few weeks, genuinely enjoy making jam thumbprint cookies for friends and neighbors, and taking in the lights and music (although Christmas music – the real stuff – makes me sob, esp. “O, Holy Night”, tears galore, and I take it one day at a time.
I try to think of people who’ve got it much worse, and of course this year and the last few, that has has been the families of the victims of George Bush’s war for ego.
Fortunately, I live in a beautiful spot that looks much like the photo above, and I go out to the harbor and take in the beauty, the serenity, and meditate on the sights and sounds.
When people let you down, nature provides a lift (and a dog will never fail you).
Mack, my sympathy.
That first year of grief is so hard as each holiday comes, and your loved one is -still- not there.
We lost Dad 16 years ago, and Christmas morning was the hardest. Until then we could just pretend he wasn’t there because of doing something else, but Christmas morning everyone has to be home….
I have to admit, this link
http://www.whitehouse.gov/holi…..eycam.html
from twolf in the previous thread could spoil anyone’s holidays
Danbury–O Holy Night expresses for me the anguish between what is and what could be. We are very fallen as humans, and know that something beautiful is just beyond our ken.
egregious @
12
it is rough
but as an example of how the little on helps:
she ahs a bear Grandpa gave her
the bear has now become Grandpa and he is can always be found in her room
somehow, that helps me alot
My husband and I are birders as are his sister and her husband. At least 10 years ago I found a funny bird identification book (birds like the auger-billed clam-sucker) in a used book store and gave it to them for Christmas. It cost only a buck or two. They thought it was the funniest thing they ever saw. My brother-in-law took it to work to show everybody there and all his co-workers got a laugh. This Thanksgiving we were at their house and they had the book sitting on the endtable and we laughted about it all over again. From the point of “enjoyment per dollar spent” this was the best present I ever gave anybody.
off to the vet
cheers all
anyone got a good eggnog recipe?
wow… thanks christy.
i used to hate this time of year, so i drank way too much (more than the usual way too much) which made me feel even more despondent. since i have stopped drinking altogether, my life has changed. i find sources of hope and compassion everywhere. now, it seems when i feel any joy at this time of year, i have tears of gratitude. hard to explain. FDL is one of the places i come to fill my cup of joy and understanding and hope. quite a community here…
Morning all — hot cup of coffee and trying to finish waking up here. And yes, having The Peanut around has made all the difference. It is so fun to experience the magic of the season again through her eyes. It makes this all the more precious this year, because I keenly remember the rough years as well.
My best friend, Lady, a daushand, she is so short and craps on my walkway, path. I don’t blame her for not wanting to go in the deeper snow, she keeps me warm at night. Frankly, I’ve had it with kids, I’ve had 6 and my oldest is 35 and the youngest is 10. the 10 year old seems like more work than the other 5 combined.
Mack and cosmo
I’m sorry to hear of your losses. Even though they are of a different nature each is still a loss of importance in life. No wisdom here, unfortunately, but caring.
What would you do in Iraq? I mean if you were the commander in chief, what would you do now in Iraq? and how about the consequence of your actions? Tough, tough, for everybody there, for a long time, like a missed Christmas.
Emily at 16 — oh, don’t you love that! Last year, The Peanut had much more fun in the boxes than she did with her presents. So this year, I’ve been saving back large boxes to wrap things in, so she’ll have some fun ones to play with along with her toys. *g*
I have a hard time getting all happy about the holidays. I think I’m getting cranky in my old age.
My birth family disowned me a couple of years ago. Who knew I was Satanic? Ack. I’ll never understand how you can claim family values and then kick out a member of your family. I have great inlaws,but they live far away,so it’s just me,the hubby and the kiddo for the holidays. Actually,it de-stresses the whole thing quite a bit,which is nice,but I sometimes long for a real family Christmas with everyone together and practicing actual kindness to one another. What a novel concept.
Next year,and maybe even from then on,I’d like to go somewhere else for the holidays. Somewhere with mountains and snow,far away from big cities and lots of people. No more gifts,just a nice vacation would suit me fine. I’d rather spend money on adventure and experiences than “Stuff”anyway.
I’d also rather get gifts for no reason at all instead of out of some sort of obligation. Seems to me that makes it more meaningful,not less.
btw, gang, I meant to thank RevDeb for the nugget that became this thread this morning. She sent me an e-mail with an idea for a Pull Up A Chair that turned into this one. So thanks, RevDeb!
T- at 10 — well, as Mr. ReddHedd says, “Practice makes perfect.” ;-)
Oh,and thanks to all who recommended the Phillip Pullman books for kids yesterday,I went from that thread and ordered the trilogy for my kiddo as a gift.
Mack at 17 — here’s my eggnog recipe: Go to store. Buy premade eggnog. Add a little good brandy and enjoy. *g*
Mack @ 17
You bet I do! (This is for a HUGE group, however, so you’ll probably have to do some long division, unless, of course, you really love eggnog…)
30 eggs, separated
3 cups sugar for the yolks
1/2 cup sugar for the whites
2 quarts bourbon
1/2 quart brandy
1/2 quart rum
5 quarts milk
4 quarts cream
Beat the yolks until very light and lemon-colored, and the sugar and beat until it dissolves. Mix the liquors together and add to the egg yolks, little by little, stirring briskly all the time. Mix the milk and cream together, and add to the mixture. Beat the egg whites until stiff, adding the remaining sugar to them, and then fold them into the egg yolk mixture. Makes about 4 gallons.
Of the best eggnog you have ever put in your mouth. I’m drooling just typing this out…
egregious at 14 — I love O Holy Night. I had to sing that as a solo when I was a kid one year for church, and it was so hard to sing and do well, but I was overjoyed to get to do it because the song is so hauntingly beautiful.
I’m not a “nog”fan,but I did recently discover the new Bailey’s Caramel for a nice after dinner coffee,that stuff is GOOD. It’s even better when you put it in a caramel flavored coffee. Yummy.
Harry @ 22
I’d start with an appeal for a total temporary ceasefire for all parties and regional temporary summits with speakers chosen in a method of their choice by each community. Assessments would be done for practical needs first and then groups could attempt cooperation by need rather than sect, first, but productivity would supercede politics. With all of this only temporary humanitarian crisis prevention the pressure for final goals would be reduced. This cool down period would be overseen by the UN with reps from all countries involved, including those funding covert operations. Contractors would be required to adhere to a new, temporary code of conduct and ethics.
Cosmo at 4 — {{{hugs}}} If you were here, you could have cinnamon rolls and coffee, and some fun with The Peanut, who has dragged me in to see the Christmas tree five times already this morning. Her cheerfulness is infectious. I’m so sorry to hear about all of your troubles…
Mack at 9 — I hear you. Glad you have a peanut to give you the giggles, too.
pete at 18 — so glad you are doing well with the sobriety. What a wonderful gift to give to yourself! And glad you feel at home here — it is like hanging out with a bunch of friends most days, isn’t it? :)
One of the things that really rings in the season for our family is attending the 9 Lessons and Carols at the Methodist Church at Emory University in Atlanta.
Its a traditional service that originally started at Kings College At Cambridge.
There is a series of 9 readings outlining the Gospel with carols in between. Assorted strings and brass accompany the Emory Chorus and Chorale. Last night they added a tympani which I enjoyed immensly.
The service closes with the lights dimming and an arrangement of Stille, Stille/Silent night with the chorus and chorale surrounding the sanctuary holding candles. It’s moving.
NaNOO at 20 — I think we may have the same dachshund. *g*
My only older brother died at the age of 18, a couple days after xmas in a car accident. That changed my life forever. My parents still fight over guilt, like you didn’t go to enough cub scout meetings. I remember when at my sisters’ high school graduation, a teenage speaker saying something like, how proud to loose your son in Vietnam for that worthy cause compared to an accident. I remember the look on my parents face and wanting to slap that girl speaker.
I live alone, and my cat is very tame.
Why are we not discussing the bravery and intelligence of Cynthia McKinney. She filed articles of impeachment yesterday. McKinney will be missed, but those of us who are true progressives will always remember her.
The last few years have been tough on us because of the financial strain we have been under. This year especially. But I try to focus on the things that matter-faith and family and friends (including you guys) and getting the Twisted Martini off the ground. It is very easy to get caught up in all the spending and gift giving, but I don’t.
By January, the financial crunch should subside and the stress and anxiety will subside with it. I hope!
And Thanks Christy, for this and all the Pull up a Chairs…you make my weekend.
pete @ 18
Pete–
You are an inspiration to us all, for doing something really hard and for seeing the deep joy of life.
A friend told me of her daughter’s remedy for work keeping her from going home for Thanksgiving–Friendsgiving. Part of living is loss, but that gives the opportunity for new traditions.
When my father-in-law died after months of illness, our family decided on a new Christmas Eve. At Thanksgiving we drew for a country, and researched and prepared a totally different menu. The kids were younger, so it was also a neat way to sneak in a little world history/current affairs. The tradition’s still going strong over 25 years later. Now a grandson sits where a grandma once did.
And the Greek lemon chicken from that first Int’l dinner’s still family comfort food. Through illnesses and joys and children moving away and coming home and fun menus over the years, we’ve sustained the tradition, and it’s sustained us.
Christy Hardin Smith @ 26
Me and Mr. Redd have the same philosophy on that…and Mrs. T- broke some news to me on Thursday. Little T- number 3 is on the way. Its an extra special Christmas season around here.
Hi Christy,
This story by Ellen Goodman from the Globule
is right on the mark…
http://www.boston.com/news/glo….._listener/
Jack
This year I made the conscious effort to do a nightly candle lighting during Advent. First wrote about it here.
The gist is that I decided it’s important to take time out just for “pondering“, as Mary is said to have done in the verses in Luke. And not have the kids focus *entirely* on the “stuff” they have coming.
Still looking for good poems/song lyrics that fit the season, and would love some suggestions.
T- @ 43
Congrats T!
NaNOO –
I’m sorry for your loss, pain and your parent’s inability to accept the tragedy. If it’s any consolation, we parents act the same way in hindsight and regretful questioning, even when the kids grow through adulthood relatively ok.
Christy Hardin Smith @ 25
Christy,
I thank you. I do my work at church and try to help people both celebrate and get through what are often difficult times. Holidays can be wonderful and full of dread. There’s a reason that AA and NA have 24 hour meetings on those days. Last Sunday I combined 2 things in my sermon that I believe I had never linked before—The Serenity Prayer and getting through all of the fuss and bother and usually high expectations (often dashed) of the holidays.
Five years ago right after 9/11 and the day before my birthday on the first Sun. in December, a man who was out of control and seemed crazy came into my church and essentially took us hostage—he pulled out a knife which he held to his head in order to get us to do what he wanted. The police arrived (we had gotten most of the people out of the room by then) and the man would not surrender or give up the knife. (knives had more of a meaning at that time than usual) He lunged toward one of the policemen and they shot him. He died at the hospital. The rest of the month was dealing with a traumatized congregation while their leader was also dealing with PTSD.
It was all I could do to pull Christmas together for them and for me. The thing that began to turn it around was a blessing of the stuffed animals—which the adults needed far more than the children.
The memories of that come back each year as I go look for a tree (that year I found the last most scraggly tree and didn’t really care but I had to do it.) I think of the congregation I left behind (I do Interim work) and know that they are still dealing with this.
NONE of this comes close to what our servicemen and women are dealing with overseas. My heart really goes out to them and the families they left behind. I cannot imagine the angst they are feeling.
Which brings me back to the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
With the FDL community I have found more courage to change things as well as wisdom (and humor) to help me figure out what can be changed.
Thank YOU.
And to all who are struggling this time of year, I wish you health and serenity to get through it. May light and blessing come into your lives.
Deb
Cosmo,
I hope you’re doing okay and are on the mend.
Mack,
You can go to foodnetwork.com and type in “eggnog” in the search box. You’ll see recipes come up from different chefs, and they are rated (five stars = best) by viewers. It’s a great source for recipes.
I’m a big fan of Ina Garten’s (Barefoot Contessa), but she is proprietory and her recipes only stay up on the site for about two weeks, unfortunately. You can often find them, though, by Googling them since people copy them and put them up. Her recipes never fail.
Christy,
The tired saying, “Christmas is for children” is nonetheless true, esp. the really young ones like yours. It is so much fun to watch them thrill at all of it. I used to take my ex-landlord’s three little girls – when I would take care of them – out in my car at night, turn on WCRB (the classical station in Boston), and we’d drive around and look at all the Christmas lights. It was fun, and I was very happy when my influence on them showed itself when one of the little girls (about age 4) asked me on a regular car trip one day if I would please turn on the “gymnastics.” She meant “classical.”
I think I’m lucky – my parents & siblings are all of one mind about Christmas, which is not to overdo it. Mostly, we talk about a good charity to all contribute to (last year it was Oxfam and Doctors without Borders) but sometimes someone will have a wish that we, as family, can fulfill. This September, my sister was talking somewhat longingly about having an Ipod, and so that will be the group present for her. My other sister, who lives in Paris, is getting help in buying a new laptop in the spring.
I think it’s harder to control with kids – it’s just very difficult to pry them away from the crassness of it all, which permeates out culture and drowns out reason.
One of my favorite traditions growing up was the tree-trimming party. We’d get a tree, fairly late in the season, and then each of the three of us kids and my mom would each invite a friend or two to come by. We’d have some low-maintenance meal (pasta, stew) and then string popcorn & cranberries for the tree. (We also tried peanuts, but they’d break too easily, and marshmellows, which were pretty gooey.) We all got to spend time with friends, ours and our family’s, and that has always made me feel that connecting with those you love is what this season, whatever faith you tinge it with, is about.
Oh, and hot spiced (and spiked!) cider.
Harry at 22 — we had a fantastic conversation about just that subject on Monday with former Amb. Joseph Wilson. If you go back to Monday on the posts calendar, it’s the 11:00 am PT post.
Thanks for sharing the story RevDeb.
We’ve had our share of dealing with toxic relatives at the holidays. For many years, Mr. P and I simply made it a rule that Christmas was for us and our kids. No visits to or from anyone. Some years, we traveled. We’ve been to Christmas Eve services at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco and Mass at Taos Pueblo. We’ve been part of La Posada in Las Trampas, NM. We’ve also eaten grilled cheese sandwiches on Christmas Day because the only place open was a Sonic drive-in!
Other years, we stay at home. Gifts have always been sparing at Christmas; we’re lucky enough not need much and what we want (books!) we buy for each other during the year anyway.
Opt out of the buying frenzy. I highly recommend it as a means of rediscovering what a joy the whole winter solstice season can be.
Thanks, Twisted.
I wonder if there might be a place on FDL where we might be able to develop a professional network where our identities and vocations are known? The synergies there would be endless comparable to what we saw with the mid-terms.
I’d love to explore forming a vast left-wing an alliance that can effectively battle the money party that dominates business world.
As we gain in strength and number it would be a great benefit as our country faces the inevitable transition from a supply-side economy to a more sustainable one.
Hip hip hooray for the future little T-!!!
Congratulations!!
An Angry Old Broad at 24 — the best Christmas Mr. ReddHedd and I ever had was the year that I was pregnant with The Peanut. Because I was so paranoid about something going wrong, we decided to take a relaxing vacation somewhere else. We went to Hilton Head, walked on the beach (which was pretty much empty the whole time we were there), and had quiet time to relax, take naps, and not worry about what anyone else needed but our little family. It was just what I needed that year, and we still talk about doing it again because it was such a magical, relaxing week for us.
ReedHead, will do that, thanks…Happy holidays everyone.
Note on eggnog: If you are wary of using raw eggs (although if you buy local eggs from a farmer you know, you’re generally safe), then look at your grocer for Davidson’s Eggs, which are pasteurized in the shell and are completely safe to eat raw.
They do taste odd when you scramble and eat them plain — not really bad, just odd — but in eggnog you can’t tell the difference.
Cuz write is what I do in life…and thought this piece appropriate to the thread
So ’tis the season to get all stressed,
And try to put on our Holiday best.
We’ll shop and spend to our hearts’ delight,
With nary a care for the ultimate sight,
Of the credit card bill that will come this New Year,
And bring to our budgets a cold, icy fear.
We know our friend Hazel will look simply smart,
With a faux sequined cat pin stuck close to her heart.
And dear Uncle Robby could not be forgot,
So the singing bass plaque is what had to be bought.
Forget Grandma Rose and her fine Irish whiskey?
Are you crazy? You know to do that is quite risky!
The kids then of course, need the latest in games.
And we’re not talking Monopoly or Scrabble; too tame.
No, it’s fifty bucks each for those graphics galore,
And tough it out parents, so what if it’s gore?
It’s the in thing you know, so you can’t be a dip;
Not to get “that” for Christmas makes your kids so unhip!
Do you ever start thinking that something’s gone wrong?
That the spirit of the Holidays got lost in the throngs,
Of consumers all trying to buy what was best,
That we listen to ads, not the hearts in our chests?
Would the newborn babe Jesus have wanted a toy,
Or instead, people gifting each other with joy?
What of gifts of compassion, and self and good cheer?
Maybe moments of simply lending someone your ear.
A giving of time for a person in need,
Or a kind loving hug ~ these are all gifts indeed.
The true meaning of this time doesn’t come with a cost;
It is priceless and precious ~ don’t let it be lost.
Copyright 2004 s.terrell
Gotta run now–car takes a while to warm up when it’s this cold out. Please let me know if anyone has any good suggestions for what I mentioned in comment 45.
That would be the Roots Project
http://www.staterootsproject.org/
(Admittedly not much happening in IL)
T- @ 55
T- @ 55
Kind of like a political Craigslist? Isn’t that what Meetup started out as? I think it is a great idea. Forgot about the roots project…
Christmas season is hard for me as I can’t do anything because poinsettia is an asthma trigger for me. I do most of my shopping before Thanksgiving, or now, on line. I can’t go out to eat, movies, shopping, peoples homes, parties, etc. I had to fight with my workplace to get them removed from my department. At work, I’m confined to my ‘room’ (the division cube land of around 100 by 300 feet), 2 of however many dozens of entrances and one restroom. This is a place that employees around 5k people too. People look at me as though I’m an alien when I say poinsettia gives me an asthma attack.
This year has been pretty bad for asthma. I’ve been hypersensitive. Most people don’t get that the *^%$^&*I( plant needs to be completely away from me (not just in another room, completely out of the ventilation system). Then people just have to keep them until March!!!
Thankfully, I’ve got my nieces. They are 3, 5, and 7 years old and the center of our family. The oldest is starting to figure out the deal with Santa. It’s very interesting to watch her and listen to what she has to say about this.
I love the holiday performances and like to support the arts. I will be spending all weekend volunteering at the local Nutcracker production. It is my daughter’s 8th year performing. These dancers have been in rehearsals every weekend since Labor Day and, for me, it is a visual feast. I started taking my kids to see it every year when they were toddlers, and we all still go. My daughter started “dancing” in it in 1999–she was on stage for maybe 2 minutes, and I held my breath the whole time. Now she’s up there in pointe shoes, a beautiful, twirling snowflake. I still hold my breath! I also like to go to a Messiah sing along if I can find one. I just can’t get enough of the Christmas music!
egregious @ 56
Thanks, grege.
I just wish WV was a little closer to ATL.
My first one is just about the same age as Christy’s peanut. I’m thinking arranged marriage wouldn’t be a bad thing here, at least for Little T- number 1 it wouldn’t be. He’s a world class birder already, so he’d have that going for him.
First reply lost in mod?
Or did I click wrong?
Anyways
I think The Roots Project might answer this question
http://www.staterootsproject.org/
T- @ 55
Congrat’s T! I wish your wife (and you, too) a smooth pregnancy, easy birth, and healthy child!
This is the other lake I like to visit. Please have patience with the short commercial at the beginning of your visit to Pete’s Pond. It’s worth the wait.
http://www9.nationalgeographic…..camafrica/
Enjoy!
T- — CONGRATULATIONS! :)
A loss during the Christmas season always seems more poignant.
Already this month the families of 38 of our soldiers are going to have to deal with this sad truth.
Louisiana Girl @ 39
I sense that you have a lot of good ideas and energy.
You will get farther here if you use the positive form of presenting a subject. In place of saying, why aren’t we talking about X, just plunge in and begin talking about X.
If you have a long opinion you could post it on your own blog and then bring a link here so we can read it.
We talk about thousands of things. It doesn’t stop people from scolding us about why we’re not talking about thing # 1001. What about world poverty, Darfur, malaria and tuberculosis etc. It’s not possible for a single blog to solve all the problems of the world. Yet.
http://www.staterootsproject.org/
T- @ 55
Good Morning Firedogs,
Christy – get the hell outta here ! – I waited on and chatted with a man from Isle of Grimsay just yesterday – he actually showed me on a map as I’d never heard of it. So funny, he’d expended so much energy to ‘escape’ it’s bleakness, but found our current 30 – 40 deg. temps assuaging his increasing homesickness.
btw us, we have 5 kids, so it’s always a stretch – our 1st season together we needed any extra $$ t/b spent on decor t/b spent on the kids so we had a smaller tree and I used every Happy Meal toy in the house as ornaments – the kids loved it. The following year we hot glued them all to a giant wreath (from good will of course) Now as parents of young adults returning home for the holidays we get the house as Christmasy as we can but save the wreath for last – we get the biggest kick out of watching them all fuss over and hang it every season.
T- Congratulations to you and Mrs. T !
To RevDeb: the blessing of stuffed animals is right on. My youngest great aunt at 91, I had been taking care of her on a part time and knew her family was soon to place her in a assisted situation last year, so I bought her a stuffed dog. She had two cats that went to my daughters’ dad place. You know, I told her the truth about what was going to happen, the family wasn’t letting her in on their plans for her. She keeps that stuffed dog on her bed.
“Yet” is one of my new favorite words. It contains so much hope.
I can’t do that — yet.
I don’t understand that — yet.
This problem* cannot be solved — yet.
[*ok fellow math geeks, yes there are some unsolvable math problems]
Pull up a chair? That makes me want to pull up a heater! Morning all! :)
When I first viewed the photo I saw (if only for a moment) James Kim. It was the first time since the story broke that I had a visceral reaction to the whole story. The foot prints leading nowhere gave me such a lonely feeling. I am sad now.
Death, divorce, family angst, are the cruel winter that pierces your coat on a Chrstmas morning when you go out to walk the dog and see your neighbor’s homes full of life and joy. On Shabbot, lighting the candles alone or with just one child is a melancholy blessing at best.
The 1950’s were a strange moment when Catholics married Jews and everyone’s identities were formed by parents reading Dr. Benjamin Spock. After all the dust settled and we all went our separate ways the gift boxes remain empty save for the love of our own children whom we hope will never be like our parents.
Sometimes I walk alone in the snow on Christmas morning wondering where I should go. Eventually, I return home and call my daughter. If it’s Chanukkah I send my blessing for that day. If it’s Christmas I share a memory of a day when my family was still whole and we all gathered to share a meal and open gifts under a tree.
Family is a blessing.
Twisted at 40 — here’s hoping for a much less stressful time for you in the New Year. :)
Prairie at 42 — feel free to share that Greek lemon chicken recipe. *g*
I find that living on the opposite side of the Atlantic ocean helps me deal with my family during the holidays ;)
Seriously, it would be nice to see the nieces & nephews,but you can’t have everything. We have a novel holiday dynamic, as Mrs CO’s family is Jewish, and both her siblings are married to Catholics. Her stepfather & I do not subscribe to any organised religion. We all get along fine-it’s very civilised, really.
Congrats to T and Mrs. T.
Hugs to Cosmo and Pete and all who struggle with this season.
Iowa Christine–how about cyclamen instead of poinsettia? Encourage a new tradition!
My daughter spent several weeks of her pregnancy on medical bedrest…that year our international Christmas was Swiss fondues…in both our homes, at the same time. Wasn’t the same as all together, but driving the 200 mile roundtrip to deliver the menu for them was the best part of my Christmas that year.
for any Firedogs looking forward to or dreading that White Trash Christmas
Robert Earl Keen (whom I abso-friggin’-lutely love!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P37xPiRz1sg
Christmas was always my least favorite holiday. Go broke buying toys the kids will break inside of three months?? Plus buying for the extended family, just to have heart failure in January when the bills came due? Ugh!
The end of that came when my last niece was born 10 years ago, and my first thought was “Oh great! Another person to buy for.” I brought up the idea of killing the gift-buying, and it was amazing how fast the rest of the family agreed. Now we pick names and exchange ornaments (under $2).
My kids are all teens now, so we do smaller, more personal gift-buying. Two years ago, my son was thrilled to get the rear-window for the ‘88 Camaro he was restoring! (Weren’t they fun to wrap!)
iowa christine @64: My mom is also allergic to poinsettia (and pine). Her co-workers got an intimate understanding of her condition when she went into anaphylactic shock (from touching a plant as she moved it away from the nurses’ station) and had to be intubated. Luckily for her, she worked on the pulmonary floor.
I’m a longtime lurker. I graduated from Luther College where we sang a thousand voice choir(half the student body) of Handel’s Messiah accompanied by solos and a full orchesstra. Tomorrow I will sing in the local version which has endured annually since 1944. Music shines through the soul and reminds me of the real reason for Christmas.
Excerpt from text of an order signed by President Bush on Feb. 7, 2002, outlining treatment of al-Qaida and Taliban detainees:
Emphasis added.
alton-still chugging to get into the Nat. Geog. site. I do love National Geographic. For anyone looking for a gift idea, a subscription to this mag. is a good one.
Thanks, Christy. My boys are headed to the Pink Pig this morning, which is a wonderful holiday tradition for the kids for those of you around Atlanta.
The one atop the downtown Macy’s building back in the day was way cooler. It was suspended on a monorail that cruised around the roof for a few minutes. They also used to give you a pink pig cloth sticker which was ubiquitous on the shirts of most kids under the age of 10 on holiday weekends.
Thanks, Mack. I registered way back when…but I must have missed the roll-out. Will check it out now.
Here’s a little holiday present for you guys, to make the little trademark sign just cut and paste. Here, you can use this one:
trademark™
Save this in a file. Then copy and paste into a comment, then delete the word ‘trademark’, then insert whatever you want.
Bingo!™ [little dog humor]
When I first started going to the land downunder 10 years ago, I was impressed by the low key nature of Christmas there. As time has gone by the Aussies have gotten more like the Americans with the commercialism getting bigger and bigger. Not a good trend.
On the other hand, because this time of year is school holidays, Christmas and summer, everybody goes away or to the beach and the place shuts down for six weeks.
Having grown up in the north east, it does feel weird to see Santa at the mall when it is 90 outside. To be frank, I like this better. I never did understand the attraction of snow.
I wish all of you a happy and stress free holiday season and thanks to FDL for being a great place anytime of the year.
We’re having a party at our house this evening for some of Mr. ReddHedd’s friends/clients, so please pardon me if I weave in and out of the thread a bit this morning. Am cooking…
Christy Hardin Smith @ 89
Thought I smelled something good!
egregious — we sponsored a doggie, along with another attorney at Mr. ReddHedd’s office, a few years ago that needed surgery to fix a bladder problem. We got e-mail updates on how he was doing and the folks who adopted him from the shelter still thank us for helping him out. :)
Christy Hardin Smith @ 78
I think I already did a while back, but here goes:
prheat oven at 350 degrees while you assemble–
large baking dish, drizzle bottom with a healthy amount of extra virgin olive oil and fresh-squeezed lemon juice from a couple good juicy lemons,
add either fresh minced or dried garlic to taste,
sprinkle with oregano–Greek if you can find it and a wee bit of seasoned salt,
whisk all together then fill pan with chicken thighs [original] or skinless chicken breast pieces, turn to coat,
sprinkle a light coating of oregano across top,
bake, covered, turning once, until done.
Modifications to suit yourself! In season I add in sprigs of fresh oregano. We started with specific amounts but over the years we’ve adjusted.
For extra browning, remove foil/cover for last few minutes. Serve with rice–basmati’s terrific. And you may want to use enough liquid–add water if necessary–to spoon that lemony broth over the rice to serve. A quick and sunny recipe for busy and lazy days!
Prairie Sunshine @ 80.
Thanks, and I hope everone is happy and healthy now. If not, I’m sure you love them more for it.
Jim Clausen @ 83
Welcome Jim! A thousand voices…wo. At the University of Michigan this past weekend there were 200 including 2 of my cousins. I took my aunt who is newly moved to a nursing home. We had a splendid experience. I had good pitch and volume on the Hallelujia Chorus despite not singing a note the previous two weeks. It was a real boost for my usual winter depression, to hear this great music, to sing well, and above all to do something kind for my aunt, who is losing her mind.
cbl @ 72
Thanks, and what a cool story. It’s funny…kids are not really into all the latest-greatest, gotta-have-it commercial nonsense in a vacuum. It’s the parents that foist it upon them and then their natural tendencies kick in.
I’m surprised no one has commented on Congress taking a shit on America:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16116358/
I hate to put a damper on all the holiday cheer, but did the Senate really vote 79-9 for this shit?
Where are the Dems?
I’d like to share a Christmas tradition from my childhood to those with children.
Every Christmas, my mother would make four gingerbread cookies that represented my sistes and me. Before baking, she’d punch a hole at the top so the cookie could be hung on the tree as an ornament.
For instance, I liked to skate and sing, so one year the cookie was cut out in the shape of a skater then frosted and painted to look like me – hair color, eye color, etc. – another year it was designed to look like I was singing.
Kids love to see their likeness up on that tree!
T @ 85:
I’m sorry you weren’t able to get on right away! There was a baby elephant playing in the water when I first posted. The pond is such a nice destresser; make sure you turn the sound on, too!
Twisted at 89 — well, let’s hope so, anyway. Here’s my menu:
– Small pumpkin tarts and pecan tarts
– Napoleons
– Cheese, olive and salami tray (buying from the store — bless the deli department!)
– Hot spinach and artichoke dip with sliced baguette
– Antipasto tray
– Assorted puff pastry appetizers (again, bless pre-made, frozen yummies from the store.) We’ve got chipotle chedder tarts, asiago potato puffs, parmesan proscuito strips, mini-crab and seafood cakes, and the obligatory pigs in a blanket (because I couldn’t help myself and had to have a little joke on the tray…)
– Stilton with cranberries and some candied walnuts and crackers
– Shrimp and cocktail sauce
Think I’ll be a little busy today? *g*
Egreg, you were in Ann Arbor recently? Did you go to Zingermans’s?
I’m still trying to figure that out.
Good morning, everyone!
Great post, Christy! : )
Prairie at 91 — oh, I think you did! Sorry to make you re-type it. It sounds delish, though. :P
O/T, but well worth reading if you have time this morning-two posts by Digby, who accurately describes the nature of aristocracy in modern America.
http://digbysblog.blogspot.com…..5080957566
http://digbysblog.blogspot.com…..5622087600
Danbury at 97 — that is SUCH a great idea!
Twisted Martini @ 100
Ann Arbor, yes. The only restaurants we hit were chez cousin; the place that used to be a Bill Knapps; and the little corner breakfast place across from the genetics/biotech building.
UM is the road not taken. I nearly went there for both undergrad and public health.
Christy, I’m getting in the car right now, how long is it to WVA? Seriously, sounds real yummy.
Twisted Martini @ 100
Delurking to say . . . mmm, Zingerman’s . . . slobber, drool. We lived a couple of blocks from there when I was in grad school . . . people who think Disneyland is the happiest place on earth have never been to Zingerman’s.
Are you talking about Angelo’s? Their food is real tasty. Hate the wait though.
(((((egregious))))
thanks for listening to me the other morning. love that Bingo boy ! my Dad raised and trained the winningnest field trial Brittany (6 titles) of all time – Shotgun Liz – I see from the google her progeny carry on the tradition
Welcome Jim Clausen !
Christy Hardin Smith @ 99
And you sing too (see #30)?
You set the bar awfully high for us mere mortals.
Bye, all. Gotta go clean the garage so Mrs. T- can get her car in there this winter.
And thanks for the Congrats. Ya’ll are the first to know, so don’t tell anyone. K?
Morning everyone!
It’s a beautiful sunny one here in ne OH – but c-o-l-d. Gotta get used to it. There’s more & colder coming. Actually, to be honest, we like the change of seasons.
Christy. I had not heard about your trials before precious little Peanut arrived. What a gift she is, as are you.
Frankly, I feel the same way about Peanut’s mom. I’m glad to have found FDL! This place is full of diverse, strong personalities. It surely must take some impressive wizardry to keep the place perking along semi-smoothly.
Congrats and THANKS to ALL the firedawg mgmt crew for their efforts in the toobes while the pups are rough-housing out here.
I’m somewhat surprised to find I’m having a bit of a low period recently. I suspect it’s simply letdown from all the stress of the last several years, suddenly released by this election. It’s HARD to adjust to winning! But I think I can give it a good try. *g* The FDL community bustling helps a lot, and so does a lot of what I hear from the Dem. leadership. They sound ready-to-roll, yeehaw, which is good, because they’re gonna have to.
The repubs. have left just an awful mess to clean up, but it feels good that THEY will apparently get “credit” for causing it. And for the first time in ages, it feels as if there are adults in D.C. planning to tackle some real problems instead of just yelling across the playground at eachother. Gives me hope.
PA_Lady @
82
Thankfully, I’m not that sensitive to the plant and hopefully won’t get that bad!!! So far, I only feel like someone is trying to strangle me while sitting on my chest.
It’s strange that no-one will believe you when you’re ‘allergic’ to something unusual until they see an actual allergic reaction. For several years now, I’ll do my PSA/rant about poinsettia and it never fails at least one person will thank me for pointing out that people can be sensitive to poinsettia. One mom thanked me profusely for her young daughter. The daughter was having ‘breathing’ issues and they had a poinsettia in the house. She put it out in the garage overnight and her daughter was breathing much better by the next morning. There’s been many a nurse that has asked if I’m also allergic to latex, as apparently they can go hand in hand.
T- at 110 — well, let’s just say that my soprano is quite rusty these days, other than the occasional sing-along with The Peanut or lullabyes (at which I am a pro at this point). I do not sing in public with this raspy soprano of mine any longer — my vocal chords are no longer in any decent shape, let me tell you!
cbl @ 109
Hey cbl, and open invitation to all, come on over and rant any time you like. I have a lot of experience with mentally ill people of various stripes, always glad to be an extra pair of ears on the subject.
My original brit Bernadette lived to be 17. She was a good girl and a beauty.
Riesz, just read that article. Doesn’t it have to be resolved in committee before it hit Clusterfuck’s desk? I think with Congress adjourning, he’ll never see it.
Christmas is the theft of Winter Solstice – a pagan holiday of much older origin.
The pagans (bless their hearts) figured out that around this time of the year people got depressed. So what better way to chase the blues then have a party, invite friends over and give each other gilfts.
Christmas is the season of suicidal depression and despair. Consequently my fave Christas movie is Christmas Holiday with Deanna Durbin and Gene Kelly.
Sounds sugar-sweet doesn’t it? Well it was directed by Robert Siodmak (the same year he made Cobra Woman and Phantom Lady) from a screenplay by Herman J. Makiewicz (co-author of Citizen Kane) adapted from Somerset Maugham story.
Deanna is discovered in a “road house” (ie. whorehouse) where through tremulous lips she intones “Sprng Will Be a Little Late This Year” — written by the great Frank Loesser expressly for this movie. As we learn in flashback she fell in love and married a mother-fixated (ie. queer) Gene Kelly who has become a homicidal maniac. He comes back to kill her but the cops step in and after a hail of bullets he expires in her arms.
Never was the True Spirit of Christmas more beautifully expressed.
Needless to say no local station or cable outlet EVER programs Christmas Holiday this time of year.
No guts, no glory
iowa christine at 112 — I would never have thought of latex and poinsettia having anything similar. What an odd thing! We only use fake poinsettias in our house — with a dog, a kitty, and a kid in the house, we take no chances with plants that have poisonous leaves.
Adie @ 111
So am I! It’s such a relief that I won’t have to cringe any longe when I flip on C-SPAN, and they show the House voting on a bill…
So often, it would be another bill stripping away our Constitutional rights, or another bill rolling back environmental protections, or another bill promoting some other awful thing…
Let’s hope that we won’t see any more of those next year! : )
Christy Hardin Smith @ 113
I’ll bet 50 bucks that you’re being modest.
I’ll bet 50 more that no one here will take that bet.
Mom, if you’re lurking again, sorry we didn’t get to tell you in person, and yes I’ll have my cellphone in the garage.
Christy Hardin Smith @ 104
Tip: If you have a dog, be sure to hang the cookie on an upper branch lest you see your child’s likeness gobbled up! A traumatic thing for both mother and child indeed!
T- at 110:
Bye, all. Gotta go clean the garage so Mrs. T- can get her car in there this winter.
Wait…people put cars IN the garage?
And thanks for the Congrats. Ya’ll are the first to know, so don’t tell anyone. K?
707!!
psst…ok we won’t tell…
David at 116 — I don’t think I have ever seen that — and I thought I’d seen every Gene Kelly movie. Will have to see if Netflix has it — sounds dark, and yet somehow intriguing. Thanks much for the mention of it…you are SUCH a wealth of knowledge on movies, I just love it when you chime in with a recommendation.
Christy at 117 – I too find it strange. The nurses have never been able to tell me the connection, only that if people are allergic to one, they are usually allergic to the second. Don’t blame you for not taking any chances with pets and little ones!! The plants beauty for a few weeks isn’t worth the possible tragic outcomes with them around.
egregious @ 114
Just did!
T- @
43
Congrats. Wee Balrog the 4th will be joining us in May. Ma is happy; I’m, well, happy Ma is happy.
Jim Clausen @ 83
Is it true that in order to sing it well requires a bellyful of lutefisk and Mabe’s pizza?
Danbury -
yes, yes ! have spent prev. seasons making everything from Karate Gingerkids to one w/ a cast on it’s broken arm.
chez cbl tradition is to have “this year’s ornament” and now the tree is made up almost entirely of them – you guessed it, despite spending small fortunes on Radko’s in more prosperous years – the kids now fight over who gets to hang ‘Elvis’ a plastic dino I turned in to an angel per their request and “Army Man” who’s been with us since that year we were too rushed and broke to seek out that year’s selection.
Good morning Christy. Great photograph. Being a photographer, I know exactly how the photographer must have felt that day. I experienced a similar sunset in Grand Teton National Park a couple of winter’s ago. It seemed like I had the whole park to myself. The beauty was painful.
Yay for the Balrog family!!
egregious @ 129
What a funny visual. The Balrog Christmas Card.
shooogarp @ 128
Glad to see you on. Pending the outcome of the Texas runoff election, you are the likely winner of the election pool. Where would you like your pony delivered?
Balrog @ 130
Speaking of which, where in Middle Earth has DarkBlack gone?
I’ve never really been able to suspend the old disbelief for portrayals of non-dysfunctional families. My favorite seasonal movie is “Home for the Holidays” with Holly Hunter and Robert Downey, Jr.
I will definitely look for “Christmas Holiday.”
Balrog @ 125
Congratulations, Balrog! : )
The holidays have always been up and down for me; some years have been good, some years quite bad. But I think of Steve Martin and Mary Steenburgen in Parenthood, and their different reactions to life in general. It’s a roller coaster, and the holidays represent that steepest part of the ride or the tightest turn, alternatingly exhilarating and nauseating. The holidays will not uniformly be bad; they can’t be. Nor will bad things consistently happen at the holidays alone; it’s impossible. But the holidays are a time when we magnify and intensify our perspective, putting events through greater scrutiny as we prepare for the birth of a new year. Easing that scrutiny — especially self-scrutiny — and simply accepting what happens as part of life and not part of the holidays will help enormously.
That said, after going through counseling eight years ago, I decided to “outsource” shopping. I don’t do it. At the time I sought counseling, I was working full-time at a job for which I was on call 7/24, had an infant and a preschooler, was going to night school full-time, my spouse traveled 3-4 days a week and had recently been diagnosed with diabetes. There was just too damned much on my plate, and I didn’t have the skills to say NO or STOP. But I figured it out, and I told my spouse that he was simply going to have to do more than cut the grass once a week; he was going to have to do the grocery shopping since taking two kids to the store every week had become anathema to me.
And he did, took it on, every week doing the shopping first thing Saturday morning (he’s doing it right now, in fact). But then he also took on Christmas shopping; I think it’s sublimation, a form of hunting he can indulge without having to sit in a blind in the cold, snowy wet, with greater rewards than a dead deer to show for it. I only have to wrap the presents now, which is quite enough if I have to do the Christmas cards, decorations, Christmas cooking and baking.
One caveat, though: he’s now a shopoholic. That wasn’t expected. At least he’s painfully thrifty, the kind of guy who cuts coupons and only buys in bulk or on sale. But the Black Friday “hunting” has gotten out of hand; he was standing in line at 1:00 am in front of Best Buy this year, didn’t come home until 8:00 pm that evening, running everywhere for Black Friday specials to fill the Christmas list. The kids were actually getting worried about him. [sigh]
Up and down, all around. Welcome to the holiday season.
Allergy info:
http://allergies.about.com/cs/…..111903.htm
shooogarp at 128 — click through on the link under the photo — there are some amazing shots there. Just gorgeous. One of these days I’m going to take a photography class or two. I love gorgeous pictures, but I rarely get one from my own camera. LOL
sofistic @ 136
Think of the festive condoms!
sofistic @
136
Cool!!!! Thanks for the link!
Balrog — CONGRATULATIONS!
Balrog @
132
egregious @ 114
Thanks, egregious! I’m on there now. : )
Twisted—oooh, a comment. I just love comments. Come on over any time.
Rants about mental illness, our specialty. Endless source of material.
[rants, mental illness, yes I get the irony]
Rayne at 135 — perhaps you could get Mr. Rayne to hang out with Mr. ReddHedd, and a little of that would rub off? {{{hugs}}}
congrats Balrog !
Bay Area Firepups – forget Messiah ! if they still do it, go see the SF Dance-It-Yourself Nutcracker. Probably an established big deal by now but I was lucky to have been a part of the first one – $10 entry fee went to homeless shelters – the memory of all those queens fighting over the role of Sugar Plum Fairy warms me everytime I hear the music
Iowa Christine at 139:
I know about these things because my wife is allergic to all sorts of things that can cause a severe asthma attack. Like paprika, which can send her to the hospital in serious condition.
What a beautiful post Christy. I never knew about your struggles trying to have a child and my heart goes out to you. I revel in the fact that you and your husband finally had success. Joy to you both.
My four 1/2 year old is learning to read, count, letters…everything at once, and she is reading the numbers as a I read the comments. Priceless.
Last year, we all went to see Joyeux Noel, which was a very moving film about the spontaneous truce in the midst of WWI. My kids wept, and they wanted their grandfather, a grumpy WWII vet, to see it and have his heart melted, too.
Our family spends all of November rehearsing the Christmas Story, our church’s version of the nativity, done with a professional production and real babies playing Jesus. All of December is devoted to performances.
That means that there is no way to go crazy with anything else. No wild party circuit. No shopping.
Except, of course, that my partner buys all the presents for the community center Christmas party for the kids and our large boy gets his friends to help, and they go and pack the gift bags and give them out.
cbl at 145 — OMG! I am having SUCH a mental image on that one…too funny! Thanks much for the giggle this morning.
shooogarp @ 147
Oh and Christy, the last 3 were IVF children.
Rayne @ 135
“If she’s so smart, why is she sitting in the neighbor’s car?!”
iowa christine @ 113
I know! If it’s an ‘odd’ allergy, people just won’t believe it unless they’re present during a reaction. They’ll tell you you’re just ’sensitive’ or that it’s all in your head.
egregious @ 131
Pony! I WON A PONY!!!!! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!
Could you give it to Santa? He knows where I live.
Balrog @ 150
No wonder you need a flaming whip and sword!
Christy Hardin Smith @ 137
That’s the wonder of digital. Last year I went to the Grand Canyon, took about 180 pictures, and got about ten I actually printed. I’d have never done that with conventional film, too expensive.
Christy 144 — be careful what you wish for! ;-)
I won’t let Mr. Rayne get too cozy with a couple of friends that are Sam’s Club freaks; last thing I need is 1) money going to Walton family and 2) a basement filled with bales of paper goods. I’ve already got MONTHS of paper towel and toilet paper in inventory.
You know, I think that might have been the detail I overlooked when I “outsourced” shopping to him; his family owned a store, in which he worked nearly every day as a kid, restocking and managing inventory. When cleaning our workshop recently, I discovered we had TWENTY-FIVE blue poly grommeted tarps sitting on the shelf, neatly stacked and sorted by size, still in their packaging.
As I said, be careful what you wish for!
Morning all. What a lovely thread.
Congratulations Balrog.
Alison, I just watched Joyeux Noel last night and wept too.
If we could only get the “leaders” to watch it.
Twisted Martini @ 154
“Fly, you fools!”
Every year I make Christmas pillowcases for the kids in my life. I look for great fabrics on sale after Christmas, then stockpile them. They take a yard each: a bag, serged, with the top folded over and stitched down. Simple, and the kids love them. I started when my son was small, then the nephews and nieces, now the neighbor kids too. My oldest nephew has 16 of them, which he uses all year round. They are an inexpensive gift and fun to give away. I tell them to open them on Christmas Eve and dream of Santa Claus.
Balrog @ 150
Does anybody else here have a bout of cognitive dissonance trying to wrap their minds around the concept of a Balrog with kids? (no offense intended, Balrog)
Christy Hardin Smith @ 137
I recommend this book.
angie @ 157
Yes, it is.
Good morning, angie! : )
Twisted Martini @
115
Is that the catch? Man, I hope you’re right.
I expected to see the blogosphere exploding when I read that, and I didn’t see one word on it.
Sorry it took so long to respond– I was in the shower.
My three year old son has food allergies (eggs, dairy-both cow and goat, beef, lamb) and I am endlessly frustrated by medical personnel who question me when I inform them of the allergies. They generally refuse to believe me until I describe his reaction.
My cousin the doctor explained that many people describe as “allergies” anything which gives them an upset stomach, but I still am infuriated by the indifference about something which impacts my son’s health so greatly.
Angie @ 157
“What a lovely thread.”
The “Pull up a Chair” threads are my favorite to read through. I am never able to join in due to work, family, etc. But I do read through them to keep track of the joys and sadness in my community. Whom to include in my prayers, etc.
However, this morning the lil’ girl is in a great mood and letting me post. She is sneaking up to wake up Mrs. Shooogarp right now. This is gonna be good…. : )
Oh Christy, forgot to mention something…have you ever read about “spirit babies“?
There are anecdotes out there about children who’ve told their mothers they “came back” when they couldn’t come through the first time. I’d read some of these when I was expecting my first child, during a rough patch in the pregnancy. It somehow makes sense.
Wonderful post, wonderful discussion. Holiday season has never been the same in our family since my mom died long ago, at a young age. The rest of the family is…shall we say: not close. And many of my friends are now gone, mostly from HIV complications. Now, making it through the sad season takes effort…getting together with the few people who really matter, staying simple, enjoying the music and some special goodies to eat, and watching the great Christmas movies: Alistair Sim’s “Christmas Carol”, Bette Davis’s “Pocketful of Miracles”, and my favorite: Kate Hepburn in “The LIon in Winter”.
I just got “Scrooge” whith Albert Finney from netflix. Looking forward to enjoying it with my kids tonight.
“Thank you very much, thank you very much, that’s the nicest thing that anyone’s ever done for me…”
alton @
164
Does the egg allergy cross over to chicken?? I don’t see the dairy as being odd!! My youngest niece is lactose intolerant and a friends’ youngest is also allergic to dairy.
I agree with you being infuriated about some taking allergies so cavalierly.
For people suffering from an abundance of emotions this season I give you a vintage egregious post from my humble blog:
Rejoice and cry, our motto.
A hearty welcome to all who go through life with bipolar,
ADHD, major depression, OCD, or any other mental
illness.
You are not alone.
Sometimes I feel like I am special, like special education.
But our differences can help us see the world in an unusual
way. That might be just what the world needs in this time
of trouble.
Glorfindel at 167 — I have to say, the Alistair Sim version is my fave as well. With the Muppet Christmas Carol coming in second and Bill Murray’s tongue-in-cheek Scrooged and Patrick Stewart’s version of A Christmas Carol in there as well. Yep, love this story, can you tell? ;-)
shooogarp @ 165
Googling addresses at the North Pole…
fedex…
instructions for pony delivery…
I have a difficult time at Christmas because of SAD, but I do keep a calendar of hash marks until the winter solstice because it gives me hope that the days will soon start to get longer again. Still, I try to approach this with an aggressive attitude (not just coping). Like, today I may bake some peanut butter cookies. Or go out and get some flowers for my wife (the kind she is not allergic to). That does two things: Gets me outside myself, and makes her happy.
alton @ 164
My three year old son has food allergies (eggs, dairy-both cow and goat, beef, lamb) and I am endlessly frustrated by medical personnel who question me when I inform them of the allergies. They generally refuse to believe me until I describe his reaction.
My cousin the doctor explained that many people describe as “allergies” anything which gives them an upset stomach, but I still am infuriated by the indifference about something which impacts my son’s health so greatly.
Yes people’s lack of seriousness regarding food allergies is irritating at best, and life-threatening at worst. I have a good friend who is allergic to avocados (which is sad since they are so yummmy!) and we will order food a various restaurants and they will forget and say what’s the big deal as she turns blue and we make them call the ambulance. Frustrating.
Glorfindel @ 167
I understand where you’re coming from…
Ever since my maternal grandmother died a few years back, the whole family on my mom’s side has broken apart from all the inheritance squabbling…
And now, things aren’t so good with my mom…
I’m sorry to hear about your family, and I’m glad you’re able to make it here.
: ) : ) : ) : )
My daughter has many allergies, including eggs, and for a long time people looked at us like we had two heads when we told thim. Just keep hunting until you find a good allergist who you are comfortable with. They are out there.
My daughter has been egg free for a couple of years, and we hope she will eventually outgrow it.
Congrats Balrog, T!, [any others wanna fess up?]
Heartening to imagine all the new little liberals coming along.
a-n-d- oh – please forgive me a giddy moment -
HILARIOUS thot just occurred that would send a shudder thru the wingnut community…
Mark my words. Someone should check the birth rate among liberals, oh, ‘long ’bout 9 mo. from, -say- Nov. 7, 2006… heh
rumi @
32
freakin’ brilliant
egregious @ 172
Don’t forget to poke holes in the box!
Adie @ 177
We’re trying to pad the numbers….
egregious @ 170
OH egregious! So true! Thankyou!
Rayne –
When cleaning our workshop recently, I discovered we had TWENTY-FIVE blue poly grommeted tarps sitting on the shelf, neatly stacked and sorted by size, still in their packaging.
What’s your point! You can never have too may tarps, or bungee cords; lots of rope is good. And you can never have enough different types of pliers, including three sizes of needlenose and that one special type that can open anything.
The most important spot in the house is “the drawer,” where one keeps at least one of everything. That way, if you need something, “it’s in the drawer.” And if you don’t know where to put something, you can put it in “the drawer.” Every house has one, and the older houses have one built in, which is the best kind.
Also, if you have kids, you need a spare of everything, cause they lose things or get them wet, such as an extra pair of sox, mittens, a ski pole, more boots, and so on.
In the trunk of my car, I still carry some of these “just in case” thingies, even though my “kids” are now 29 and 31 and live thousands of miles away! I mean, who knows? Maybe I’ll be with a friend and their kids will lose something. It happens. Just can’t let go, I guess. Maybe it’s a guy thing, Rayne.
shooogarp @ 180
Cool! All’s fair! I’ve heard some liberals make wonderful parents, but they tend to allow their children “too much” freedom. *g*
Here is a great holiday story for everyone.
My cousin works for United Airlines at Logan Airport (you can imagine what 9/11 was like for her. She had friends on those flights).
Anyway, she told me that every year, some pilots donate their time and a United plane is loaded with inner city, poor children. They are told they’re going to the North Pole to meet Santa. The take off and fly over Boston for a while, then land at another gate, where they’ve got the terminal decorated to look like the North Pole, and the kids meet Santa and have treats, then get back on the plane and fly back to the original terminal.
That was one of the cutest things I’d ever heard, and I was imagining the kids reactions to arriving at the actual home of Santa Claus.
TA- DAH!!!!
Horsewoman, if you’re still here, re the question mark by the copyright: While I was going thru the copyright process for my music I learned that you get almost as much legal protection by putting the little “c” thingie or the word copyright as you do going the official route.
So just take the question mark out and you’re good to go!
iowa christine @ 169
Fortunately, the egg allergy does not cross with chicken. The reaction is to a specific protein found in the food, which is the difference between a milk allergy and lactose intolerance. Initially, the pediatrician said that my son might outgrow the milk allergy, but instead we’ve just added more foods to the list.
As an aside to all of you expecting babies, (Congrats, Balrog!) one of the best things you can do to minimize allergies, especially if there is a history of them in your family, is breastfeed your infant. (Hope that doesn’t send me into automod!)
Way, way OT, but, I would love to see some research done into how we are creating class/caste system, in which women who can afford to stay home and breastfeed do so, while poor women who must return to the workplace, not only are forced to feed their babies formula, which is not only less healthy, but an additional expense.
I’ll spare all of you my tales of the breastpump.
David Ehrenstein @
185
duh. whu’d you do? overload the toobes???
I don’t have that much patience…..
for shame….busted at this end…. oh well. bye for now. nice thread so far ;->
Dang, y’all start so early! Well, early for us West Coasters. I was up mixing songs til 1 and just awakened.
Well, the way I deal with family insanity is to ignore each and every one of them. I have not spoken to anyone in my familly for almost seven years. Chances are, my parents will die and I won’t even know it, and I couldn’t care less.
Once I realized I didn’t have to put up with their trailer-trash asses, didn’t have to listen to their bullshit and didn’t have to take their alcohol-fueled advice, I told ‘em all to eat shit and die, and I’ve never looked back. How’s THAT for holiday spirit?
WRT gifts, iTunes gift certies are my friends. That’s about all I give any more. Most of my holiday money goes to the Best Friends Animal Society.
I like kitties better than most people anyway. The people can ram it.
Adie @ 188
Yes… I’m still waiting as well…
This better be good, OR ELSE… ; )
Christy, March is my month, it was the month I lost my last pregnancy at 14 weeks. I had three miscarriages before a successful full term health baby boy. My son was 9 months old (ya they tell you that you cannot get pregnant if breastfeeding and not menstruating…NOT). For years, March was my dark month.
Take joy in Peanut which I know you do because they grow up so fast. The one thing about the whole thing is that I did not feel complete and sought adoption. As most here at the lake know, I am the proud mother of two kids adopted from Korea 20 years ago this September.
It does not matter if they are born from your body or from your heart, they are my babies.
Hmmmm…I have these little spanakopita pastry triangles. Should I serve some sort of sauce with them, do you think — or will they be fine alone?
atdnext @
190
okay. lets all click on the kindly fella’s moniker & see how HE likes it. heh.
can’t leave us kids for a second(!) *g*
atdnext–
The holidays are a good time to reach out to people who are estranged, as they may be feeling sentimental about the past and hence more open to a new approach.
Re reaching out to people, what we did was to keep treating my brother as if everything was normal, sending Christmas presents, birthday cards, messages on his answering machine during the 2 years he refused to talk with us.
Finally there was a family event he came too. I spent the whole flight out there wondering if he would even talk to me. He did, and it was so wonderful. It was like talking to a cousin, but he wanted to hear news of others in the family. At the end I asked him to make contact with our mother. A couple of months later they met up.
The important element in this is to shed one’s pride and simply treat the other person with love and understanding. This is pretty hard to do when one feels that the other person is at fault for being such a fill in the blank here. But loving them means seeing them as they are now, whether that is lost, mentally ill, in disgrace, angry, estranged, broke, drunk, or whatever.
Love is seeing people how they are this minute, and acting to guide them gently back towards the good.
scarecrow @
182
OMG!
i didn’t know that every house had “the drawer”! i thought it was only the houses in my family.
my problem is that i can’t keep “the drawer” limited to just one drawer. it’s a spreading phenomena that is in danger of taking over the whole house.
… p.s. don’t forget the duct tape!
Christy Hardin Smith @ 192
Traditionally they are served alone as an appetizer.
The best thing about the holidays (next to eating) is being with family & friends…the non-toxic ones. The toxic terrors are not invited. Home should be a sanctuary & I refuse to invite anyone with nasty energy messing with ours. All who do join us are totally in sync with that.
IMO, the barneycam type stuff is pretty lame & I hope future presidents deep six that tradition.
katymine at 196 — excellent! That’s what I remembered, but I’m beyond multi-tasking this morning (Mr. ReddHedd had a meeting, so I’m juggling cooking, blogging and Peanut-ing. *g*)
scarecrow 182 — oh, I understand entirely, having several toolboxes of my own. One with just tools, from telescoping magnets with which to retrieve missing toys down ducts, to special pliers with extra small and rounded tips for bending jewelry wire and jump rings for my daughter’s necklaces. Another toolbox for sewing, containing a vast selection of business shirt buttons and clear, stretchy beading wire, to hemastats for clamping small projects being glued. And one more for painting – many brushes for watercolor and acrylic, lots of tubes of paint, and a few for touching up the walls in the wake of kids banging scooters in the garage wall.
But his family’s history of owning a parts store means this guy has inventory in the blood. I know when he’s having a very bad day at work, too; he’ll call me at lunch from his cellphone while shopping at a local hardware store.
Don’t even go there about “the drawer”. There are SIX of those in the workshop alone: wrench drawer, screwdriver drawer, fastener drawer, tape and adhesives drawer, so on. Conveniently located next to the band saw, the routers and three table saws (the fourth is out on loan)…
On the other hand, if this is a guy thing, I so have the most guy thing going on here.
CHS — no sauce on the spanakopitas, that’s gilding the lily. Haven’t known any Greek yaya to serve sauce with them, either. ;-)
alton @ 165
And that’s medical personnel! As I’m sure you’ve experienced, if a child tells someone they’re allergic, many adults just simply discount it. My daughter went to summer camp and one of her bunk-mates was made to eat a PBJ, even though the girl told them she was allergic, and despite the medical forms detailing her allergies.
egregious @
194
When you’ve tried every approach you can think of, watched it fail and felt stupid for trying, when you’ve done that enough times, you pick and choose the people (and KITTIES) you want in YOUR family, blood or not, and love them.
Some people are beyond redemption. Besides, the whole “holiday and sentimental” stuff is fake. As soon as that wears off, it;s back to the same old shit they’ve always done.
As I get older, I find I only want people in my life who bring joy or peace. Some bring both. People who bring stress and unhappiness are just not worth it any more.
sofistic @ 173
I’m with you on the seasonal affective disorder. Might it help to realize the sunset is not getting any later as of now? The days are getting shorter til the 21st but that’s on the sunrise end.
Another fdl person also advised to get sun on skin, get outside not just to see the sun from a window, tho that helps me too. It helps me to get out of the house and either walk or do errands at sunset, to experience that I can still act even tho it’s getting dark.
For people who are anorexic in December, more protein sometimes helps. I lose my appetite for everything except cookies, very understandable but not very healthy :)
egregious @ 194
Well said… Thank you, egregious…
Now, my dad and I are looking for some X-mas presents for my mom…
Should we just take them over to her house?
I would like to call her first, but I don’t know the new phone #.
PA_Lady @ 201
Hey egregious at 186 ~ I is still here (yep, a writer that is what I yam :)…and I appreciate the tip thanks. Great conversation here this a.m. too as usual ~ back to reading…
Guitar_Playing_Bastard–
I hear you. Sounds like you have really tried.
I hope that you would at least leave one little corner of your heart open to getting an offer of reconciliation from someone in the family if they come to their senses in the future. There might be other relatives who need to leave the toxic center, and might need you to make it happen, and might be sorry they treated you badly.
I am glad that you are finding people in your life now that love you.
Come on over and we’ll have some cookies.
Rayne — yeah, that inventory thing might need some professional help.
But you should not complain about the fact the tarps are still in their original packaging/wrapping. There is a law of physics that says every object is smaller as long as it remains in its original wrapping; once it is removed, and unfolded, it can never return to its original size and shape; its size (and the space needed to store it) at least doubles. So I wouldn’t disturb that pile.
The rest of the house sounds analogous to a kid’s ToysRUs! Well, at least you know what to give your husband for Christmas: a gift certificate for four hours just hanging out in the Sears Tool Department. Don’t even need to buy anything.
Guitar_Playing_Bastard @ 202
Yeah, I understand…
I guess you can say that that’s what I’ve had to do lately, but I still miss my mom.
I’ll probably be epu’ed but I wanted to just say that I’m now in Fresno. My great gift this year is that I got to see my mother yesterday. I had said goodbye to her last January before going to NZ, not expecting her to live this long. But, courtesy of a prosecutor up north, I’ve come to the US and got here yesterday.
She is not really eating anymore, has pneumonia, and if she lives until Monday, we’ll move her into my sister’s livingroom and sit with her there (my sister is a hospice nurse, so we’re fortunate there).
Yesterday, though, she was lucid for the first time in weeks, I am told. She told me that maybe she loved me because of, not in spite of, my naughtiness. She gave me several of her radiant smiles. Then she said “close to the destination” and call in another sister from Kansas, which we did and she will arrive in a few hours.
Mom is 91 and wasn’t expected to survive more than a few days back in 1915. She is kindness and gentlness itself, practicing hospitality to strangers (including sponsoring two refugee families), making beautiful baby clothes for African relief (the children deserve beauty, her unspoken belief) and refusing to speak ill of others. I have never heard her gossip (I came up with snark all on my own, I guess).
It is an honor to be here with her.
atdnext @ 204
The advantage of not calling is, she can’t tell you not to come. Go for it, and keep us posted. Be gentle, she is probably scared along with everything else. A little corner of a person observes the descent into hell, and is rightly frightened.
Hey gang, Pachuatec is upstairs.
alton @ 205
selise 195
“the drawer” is a terrific idea. We had to move every year for awhile, and luckily someone told us about that concept before we got into that mode.
fabulous for allowing you to keep track of that elusive set of pliars, or special papers you might need at a moment’s notice, while everything else in the home is topsy-turvy.
i’ve never quite given up the practice.
around here, it’s called – ahem – “filing by piling.”
ain’t no marthastewart at this address…
but I purty much know where everything is. *g*
NZ Expat at 210 — what a lovely gift for you and your family that your mom had a lucid day yesterday. We went through that with my grandfather years ago, and it was so difficult. A lucid day is such a grace. Hugs to you and yours…
NZ Expat–She is kindness and gentleness itself, practicing hospitality to strangers (including sponsoring two refugee families), making beautiful baby clothes for African relief (the children deserve beauty, her unspoken belief) and refusing to speak ill of others.
What a saint. I am sorry that she is not doing well, in earthly terms.
She became lucid because YOU were there. What a great blessing to her.
((((NZ Expat and Mother))))
I am reminded of John Henry Faulk’s Christmas story, played on NPR every year. You can read the transcript on this link, but there is nothing as good as listening at the link provided.
http://www.npr.org/templates/s…..Id=5028755
Thanks, Christy.
And joy to you and the Peanut….your writing allows me to remember similarly joyous moments with young ones (mine are now 22 and 16….too big for the lap….and I may not see either one this Christmas. If I don’t make my flight back to NZ on Tuesday, the word is that the flights arefull till after Christmas. But we tend to be more flexible than traditional, anyway.
NZ Expat: How wonderful for all of you to share that time. One of my most cherished memories of my grandmother was that last day when she knew us and was ‘with’ us.
Kathryn in MA @
178
thanks
It would just be like putting ALL of the kids in time-out, to cool off and save lives. At least clean up the first messes they made before making any new ones….
I don’t think I’ve heard anyone call for a complete, temporary ceasefire. It might be like asking Santa for a pony but we always ask for one anyway.
scarecrow 208 — heh. Funny you should mention the gift certificate to Sears. The only thing on his Christmas wish list is one of those rolling tool chests. Too heavy for me to get into and out of the pickup truck, so a gift certificate will have to do. ;-)
And heck no, I’m not opening the tarps. But I have been quietly slipping them out the door and donating them to people who need them. The pile never seems to reduce in size in spite of my attempts to thin them, a veritable magic cornucopia of tarps.
egregious…..your heartful caring of little ones overseas reminds me of my mother’s spirit. I always get a lift when I see that you are here. (Consider flying to Australia or NZ for Nov/Dec next year. The sun will do you good.)
Heh, We’ve got “the drawer” in the kitchen. This has overflowed into “the room”, a spare bedroom, which has since filled and has become just a way station for junk enroute to “the basement”, itself an annex of “the barn”.
NZ Expat — wishing your mother an easy trip to her “destination”. It sounds like she has taught you well how to travel this road, including the last leg of the journey. Very glad you are able to keep her company as she makes this final leap.
Back from soccer games. Watching my sons, 8 and 10, play their hearts out. They’re so strong, full of heart, and oh so innocent-winning and losing mean so little to them at this age. The joy of play is what matters now.
I lost my Dad to leukemia two years ago this Christmas. One day he was here, the next he was gone. But I have a younger brother who looks more and more like him every day.
My Dad struggled with guilt and depression. The usual “did I did enough for my family” shit. Me, I struggle with the same thing although my wife told me this morning what a good Dad I am. As a friend of mine would say, it’s tough growing up.
Christmas brings all this stuff back, I gues that’s why I mch prefer Thanksgiving.
I’m reading Joan Didion’s book, The Year of Magical Thinking. It’s, well, magical.
“Life changes fast.
Life changes in an instant.
You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.
The question of self-pity.”
I like to tell my kids live today as if it was the best day of your life.
Peace all.
Oh, and I’ll take that fifth cup of coffee now. ;-)
jeffreyw @ 223
humbled, i bow before you.
NZExpat– I am happy for you and thank you very much for sharing your feelings about your Mom and that she has many more lucid times filled with family.
Travel safely!
My favorite way to spend Christmas is to get out of the country! My experience in Mexico is best of all. Everyone has a huge meal and the party starts at midnight on Christmas Eve. Even in small remote villages.
jeffreyw @ 223
Oh I have such a good book for you. Don Aslett is deeply sympathetic to the reasons why we accumulate so much stuff, and has REALLY good advice, in detail, about what to do.
It’s not one of the usual cleanup books that says, in essence, all you have to do is the triathalon! and then your house is neat and orderly! He takes it one little step at a time, holding your hand.
NZ Expat @ 222
Thanks, and good idea on the sun!
Tell us more stories about your mother, I mean when you have the time. She sounds like an extraordinary human being.
egregious @
207
I can’t right now, I have a kitty purring on my chest. To me, the season is about kitties. I just sponsored another kitty at Best Friends, too.
mc 225 — oh wow, thanks for the reminder. I mentioned Joan Didion’s book to a friend who is going through a very rough patch right now, having been told by her husband (in his mid-fifties) that he wants to start a family — but not with her.
F*cker, I want to b*tch-slap him for doing this to her. His idea of being kind is waiting until after Christmas to serve her with papers. Grrr…
She is grieving, taking this as hard as can be expected, going through all the stages of grieving right before my eyes, including the “magical thinking”. It’s going to be a very difficult holiday for her, will be doing as much as we can to build new and different rituals of seasonal passage for her.
Guitar_Playing_Bastard — you realize, of course, that kitties are symbolic of detached but unconditional love.
Something to ponder this season.
Guitar_Playing_Bastard @ 231
Oh Best Friends!!
My daughter recently spent a week there volunteering with the animals. Great place.
rumi @ 220
Shooogarp just got a pony from Santa. It’s worth a try.
We’re EPU’d here, I’m gonna go on over to the new thread. Seeya soon.
Rayne @
233
Mine isn’t detached, he’s been attached to my chest for about 45 minutes. he can purr and sleep at the same time =:-O
I never had kids, they never moved me…but put a lump of purring orange fur on my chest and I melt like a Hershey bar on a hot summer day.
katymine @ 196
My sister brought Korean babies from Seoul about 20 years ago…maybe yours? I still have the straw Christmas ornaments she brought us for that Christmas. So many memories on that tree. Ornaments for all the nieces and nephews each year, now we’re starting a new generation.
Oh, and, Gene Shepherd’s “Christmas Story”–must-see Christmas DVD. And there must’ve been more than one major award because another sister has one for the Christmas season at her house around the corner.
Our local paper does a “Season’s Needing” page for local charities…some I didn’t know existed. An opportunity to find joy through sharing with others. In much the same way we find joy here at the lake.
egregious @ 234
A friend of mine volunteered in NOLA and Mississippi, saving pets, and she found her new kitty there, named her Katrina, of course.
Katrina, the Mississippi Girl.
GPB — think “detached”, as in the Buddhist concept of “detachment”.
;-)
Cats do hurt, and a lot. I had a beloved kitty for 17 years, hurt like hell to lose her, as much as a child. It’s the act of choosing to be attached and detached that’s the trick; some pain is incredibly worthwhile as a cost of attachment. My kitty and my kids taught me that.
I do so love this community. Happy Holidays, everyone.
Christmas has been hard as an adult. My dysfunctional family always drank too much. No political arguements, we are all on the same page there, only rehashes of slights percieved and real, big who-struck-Johns that always devolved into tears and yelling and occasional estrangments. Once, our shrink neighbor, who had her office soundproofed after we moved in, said we never listened to each other in our arguements, only to ourselves. She never understood, she said, how such smart people could be so emotionally stoopid. That’s the end of your 50 minutes, thank you.
My mom protected my dad’s bi-polar tendencies by calling the lows his Black Irish mood. Mom and Dad are both gone now and, although we always travelled, long distances mostly, to be with family at Christmas when they were alive, we don’t now. We see each other at other times of the year and this leaves us, for the first time in our adult lives, with our own family Christmases. We’re building our memories with the Sprout and loving every minute.
And Christy, I hear you about Christmas. The infertility years were THE worst. I dreaded it on so many levels pre-Sprout, not the least of which was there was no child’s wide-eyed joy, no magic, only things. He’s just cottoning to the Santa thing now, he’s 7, and we’re talking about the spirit of Christmas giving and checking out how that feels.
It was 80 degrees yesterday here. I know you think I’m gloating, those of you who live in snowy climes, but I would gladly trade you a few days of your winter weather. I just can’t get in the Christmas mood when I’m in shorts and flipflops – unless I’m on Kauai.
Rayne, I used to love those articles that said that people who loved dogs best were dependent personalities and people who loved cats best were independent and happier.
I am blessed this year with two orange kitties and a gray 20 pounder with a hitler moustache. We rescued the 8-year old Hitler and his buddy, Nick (he has a missing piece of ear) after their owner died and got Toby the Great at 8 weeks. He’s going to be huge and my favorite thing is to see the two orange lovemuffins sleeping in a yin-yang symbol (albeit monotone), nose-to-tail on the sofa.
My brother died at 17, on Halloween. The empty chair at Thanksgiving and Christmas for the first few years was rough. My nephew died on Thanksgiving, at 18, in 2002. My sister, who was born with all sorts of immune weakness, has all but sunk into severe mental illness, terrible OCD since then.
We just had a family reunion last weekend. I believe the suffering has made us a better family, together. And for that I am really thankful. But my sister will not recover from her loss, I don’t think. A daily struggle. It is awful.
Peace, if peace there be, to you and your sister, BG.
Mommybrain — ah, thanks for that, I’d forgotten about the dependent/independent personality and the selection of pets. Probably a topic of discussion in the near future between my friend and I; he’s leaving the dogs along with her, including his own dog. [sigh]
Balrog @
150
Congrats, Balrog and Mrs. B! So, first and current are spontaneous combustion?
NZExpat, your mom sounds like a wonderful person. To be present at the end is a gift like no other.
My mom predicted the day of her death, too. She kept asking why there was a squirrel with scissors on her balcony. Needless to say, no squirrel, but we said “Well, mom, he’s here to cut your earthly cord.” She said “Oh, no, not today. Tell him to come back…Wednesday.” He did.
Namaste to you both.
Kathryn in MA @
178
Gore/rumi in ‘08
Mommybrain, thanks. This is gonna be another sad holiday for lots of people.
Peace out to all for sadness and happiness in the dark season. The festival of light, a season for that. Spring comes again. It is all part of the big wheel, rollin’.
For the record, I’m a cat person. My motto: “We don’t count ‘em. We just feed ‘em and love ‘em as long as we can.”
Goes for all loved ones, one minute at a time.
My dad died at 4:00 a.m. Christmas morning 2002. Fred and I were fortunate, in a way, to be there with him in the emergency room with my stepmom–my sisters were upset that they missed seeing him at the end–but the emergency room images, and his pain and fear at the end, still haunt me… And it was horrible to go back to my in-laws’ place to greet the kids with that news first thing Christmas morning. Just to top it off, my dad’s birthday was New Years’ Day, so both holidays are now colored by the loss.
It gets a little better every year, and it has helped that the past few years we’ve stayed in our own place and had assorted mothers come to us instead of travelling back east, but I just miss him & it comes back harder this time of year.
bg sed:
For the record, I’m a cat person. My motto: “We don’t count ‘em. We just feed ‘em and love ‘em as long as we can.”
Goes for all loved ones, one minute at a time.
Amen and peace,bg.
As Cheryl Wheeler once said in a song:
Life is short, but the days and nights are long.
egregious@ 74, I love your thoughts on “yet”
One of my favorites is “ordinarily”. It’s a great one to use when feeling overwhelmed (as at this time of year)as in: “Ordinarily I’d love to participate in the cookie swap, but….” And you finish the sentence. It sounds so polite, but it does the trick.
One thing I love at this time of year is to read (and then watch the movie) of A Child’s Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas. It’s rich, poetic, funny, and poignant.
bg—If you want some company talking about OCD, I’ve got some experience, come on over to my humble blog and we can chat.
Mommybrain–ditto the bipolar stuff. We are deep into that right now, several family members.
Other great Christmas Movies:
Brazil
The Apartment
Lady in the Lake
rumi @
32
Bears repeatin’.
HotFlash @
247
Gore/Feingold I’d be happy just to be the vagabond representative from the Office of Peace
:-)
Though EPU’d – I want to share a ritual I just heard about last year. My daughter committed suicide at age 19. This time of year sharpens the loss.
There is a worldwide group that helps those of us whose children have died. Tomorrow night is the candle lighting. Light a candle at 7 pm and let it burn for one hour. . . for all the children who have died.
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/
Besides my loss, I will light a candle for the thousands of children killed because American forces invaded Iraq and Afghanistan.
With love for your daughter and all children who have suffered, I will join you tomorrow night. Namaste, katecontinued.
(((((katecontinued)))))
Hugs coming your way. I am sorry for your loss.
The photo would make a great ECM album cover.
katecontinued -
Don’t know what to say except, Blessings to You and your loved ones.
*ilbo @
254
……..and again….