silk cuts

And we're just going to run with this topic tonight.

The Spy Who Billed Me reports:

UPDATE: The online edition of the British newspaper the Telegraph is now reporting:

The senior government source, who is aware of the discussions of     the Cabinet’s emergency committee, Cobra, said the picture of the     killers that was emerging was closer to bungling assassins than cool     James Bond-type killers.

They also added this fact about the hotel room where Litvinenko was staying:

Clear traces of the radiation were found on the floor of a room,     thought to be in the Millennium hotel in central London, the source     said, as well as on a light switch in the same room. The traces were     so strong that they indicated the actual source of the radiation was present…

Translation:  "Whoops!  Where's the light switch?"

So, they took the pack of loaded cigarettes into his hotel room, dropped them, fumbled for the light switch, and planted them in the carton or on the night stand or in Litvinenko's coat pocket.

Of course, the question still remains as to who did it.  Dr. Hillhouse, in "Why You Should Never Use Your Shoe Phone After Stepping in Polonium-210" opines that they were in fact KGB and offers them some tips for the next time around:

  • When you’re going through airport security, make sure you carry a big water bottle.   Authorities are on the lookout for those and they’ll be so fixated upon taking it away from you that they won’t notice the clicking Geiger counters.
  • Ignore the CIA Italian rendition team’s example and quit collecting frequent flier miles.  Keep the boarding passes and send them in later when no one is on the lookout for your trail.

  • On the flight to London, whatever you do, don’t lower your window shade for the movie.  Turn on your reading light to reduce the chances of anyone noticing your warm afterglow.
  • When your hair starts to fall out from radiation poisoning because of your leaking packaging, do not keep running to the airplane lavatory to look in the mirror.  Flight attendants are trained to be on the lookout for suspicious activity in the loo and you don’t want them to nab you on suspicion you're mixing a liquid explosives cocktail there.
  • If British customs catches you with the Polonium-210, it’s no problem to escape British authorities and get out of the UK.  Calmly explain that the Polonium is for the jihad.  Before you know it, you’ll be on a CIA rendition flight headed back to a former KGB facility, having cleverly escaped from Great Britain.  Cross your fingers your colleagues still have the keys to their old digs.
  • If you don’t use all of the Polonium-210, don’t take the extra back to Moscow.  Dump it in London.  Or better yet, act like a true Russian and sell it on the black market and pocket the money.
  • NEVER fly the flag carrier of the country where you’re going to do the op.   Did you really think British police wouldn’t have access to the BA planes you flew in on to test them for radiation?  Next time use Aeroflot.  Sure, the service sucks, but when the British police are hot on your trail, act like your former KGB selves and don’t give them access:  crash the planes instead.  Then lie about it.

All very sound advice.  We should email her and ask to whom she sent the invoice for that consultation.

Related posts:

  1. Late Late Nite FDL: Real Kind Of Thing
  2. Late Late Night FDL: Wishin’ And Hopin’
  3. Late Late Night FDL: Club Poodle
  4. Late Late Night FDL: Paradise By The Dashboard Light
  5. Late Late Night FDL: Come Wander With Me