Jordan's King Abdullah: What's up, George?

Bush: Al-Maliki stood me up, again. 

JKA: Again?  Well, what's up with this puppet regime?  Do you really like him that much?

Bush: Yes, honey, I love him, he is fine.  He does a lotta nice things for me.

JKA: I know he used to do nice stuff for you, but what has he done for you lately? 

(Oooo-hooo-hoooooo, yeah.) 

Nasty notes, broken confidences, hurled epithets, dinner dates cancelled, and much hair-flipping and slamming of lockers.  Is it a junior high school cafeteria?  No.  Is it the latest anti-FDL Blogrom* that's brewing out there in Left Blogistan?  No, but close!

It's US foreign policy circa 2006. 

Bush arrived in Jordan earlier today and was supposed to meet tonight with Maliki and Jordan's King Abdullah II. High-level summit meetings like these are usually planned to a fare-thee-well, but the White House has just announced that tonight's meeting has been postponed. The ostensible reason? Abdullah and Maliki met with each other before Bush arrived in Amman, and Dan Bartlett said that meeting "negated" the need for the two of them to meet with Bush.

Mmmmm-hm.  And that has NOTHING, do you hear me, NOTHING to do with that leaked Stephen Hadley memo.

Just ask White House spokesman Dan Bartlett (via Joan Walsh at Salon):

But pay no attention to the memo, Bartlett says; the need for a "three-way" was obviated by a "two-way" between Abdullah and al-Maliki earlier today. Watch Bartlett try, and fail, to spin reporters in Amman. It's worth quoting at length:

Bartlett: The President is going to have a bilateral and dinner with the King of Jordan. Since the King of Jordan and Prime Minister Maliki had a bilateral themselves, earlier today, everybody believed that negated the purpose for the three of them to meet tonight, together, in a trilateral setting. So the plan, according to — since they had such a good, productive bilateral discussion, was just for the President to deal with bilateral issues and other issues with the King this evening in a dinner setting, and then the meetings set for tomorrow will still take place as scheduled.

Reporter: So the dinner is off, the three-way.

Bartlett: Right.

Reporter: Well, if Maliki — he was never going to the dinner anyway, right? It was just supposed to be a meeting.

Bartlett: There was going to be a trilateral meeting, and then the dinner with the King. Now, since they already had a bilateral themselves, the King of Jordan and the Prime Minister, everybody felt, well, there's no reason for them to do a trilateral meeting beforehand, because matters had been discussed.
I hate it when a three-way gets called off, don't you?  You get your hopes up, figure out what you're going to wear, pluck, tweeze, and moisturize, and then…nothing.  Not even a phone call.  You end up sitting alone on your couch with the cats and reading Flannery O'Connor, again.  (But, perhaps I reveal too much?)
 
There's no confirmation at this point whether or not King (aka "Sheikhy Bear") Abdullah was really filmed drunkenly calling al-Maliki "oilcrotch" outside an Amman nightclub while Bush looked on and cackled like a hyaena the whole time.
 
It's okay, George.  Sooner or later, we all spend the night alone.   
 
As we’ve learned from countless softcore movies on Cinemax, housewives are invariably hot young things always ready to have sex with Think Tank geeks. Today’s totally Not Safe For Work ad on Craigslist is from an alleged 32-year-old housewife who wants to get nasty with “guys who work at the Heritage foundation or other conservative think tanks.” She(?) continues:
I know I will get some email of someone accusing this of being some scam but it really isnt, I just have a real fetish for intellectual conservatives. That said I’m looking to talk dirty online and if its good enough and we click maybe meet in person. Married move to the front of the line. Don’t bother if you dont meet my stipulations I will not answer you.

Ewwwwwwww!  Sounds like someone's trying to drown their post-election sorrows in a little more than Tanqueray!  Is it just me or do you get the distinct feeling this might be someone we know?  There are so many candidates.  It's a veritable embarrassment of bitches.  Is it Atlas Pam?  Sara Evas?  Judy Miller?
 
Ned the Fighting Koi just swam four times clockwise around his castle and then waved his fins in the air while floating on his back, which means, "Maybe it's Mark Foley in drag!"
 
Bad goldfish!
 
I dunno.  My vote goes to Atlas Pam.  The writer of this personal ad clearly shares Pam's utter disdain for the apostrophe.  And the comma.  And syntax.
 
Do you guys have any ideas of someone I might have overlooked?
 
*And on that topic, I feel I should mention at this juncture that I know that some of you think that certain posts here at FDL of late have gone over the line, and how sorry I am that you feel that way.  Here at FDL, we pride ourselves on bringing you top-quality left-wing satire that occasionally skirts the line of acceptability.  Yes, sometimes we go over the line, and some of us, me particularly, tend to react angrily to getting called out, and respond by going even further over that selfsame line in an effort to upset you further.
 
For the record, I apologize to any of you who have been offended by things I have written here and elsewhere.  I will do my best to dial it back a notch from now on.  But while I'm here, I'm going to pre-emptively apologize to those of you whom I will inevitably offend in the future.  (You know who you are.)
 
As always, thanks for reading!  Keep coming back!
 
Sincerely,
T.Rex, Esq. 
 
 
 

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