catfight!!

(Glenn Greenwald, left, prepares to take Ann Althouse to school.) 

Well, clearly I need to get out more.  When I asked last night whether or not the Talibangelical Christians in the world deserve to be known as "Christians", I had no idea that this discussion had already caught the drapes and burst into flame over at Glenn Greenwald's place.

(Typical.  Freaking Greenwald.  He's ALWAYS two steps ahead of me.) 

See, it was actually (ew!) Andrew Sullivan who started to push the term "Christianist" to describe the people who use the symbols and texts of Christianity to advance their pagan black-magic-anti-sex-cult's agenda, people like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell.  It's like "Islamist", i.e., a person who has taken the tenets of Islam and used them to prop up their fanatical, kill-everyone philosophy with little or no regard for the actual teachings of the prophet Mohammed, much like the Christianists have done with the New Testament.

"Christianists".  I'm okay with that, I think.  I mean, if it came from Sully's house, I'm going to put it through the washer on 'hot' a couple times and dry it on the highest temperature setting before I'll actually wear it, but if it stands up to that, I'm willing to give it a go.

Especially when it gives certain Reich Wingers such a bad case of the stomp-and-sputters. 

Enter cutting edge (*cough!*) legal mind Ann Althouse (snicker), who has taken violent exception to the term.  (Apparently, she's gotten tired of shooting digital snaps of the toes of her 9 Wests and the office water cooler in the University of Wisconsin Law Faculty Lounge and has decided to comment on something in the wider world.  Which, as we all have learned to expect, invariably results in disaster.)(And hilarity!)
(Via Glenn)

Ann Althouse today:

I wonder how many people "recoil" at [Andrew] Sullivan's sanctimonious pronouncements about "Christianists." He's become so devoted to that word of his. Does he not notice how snide and hostile it feels even to people who are not fundamentalists?

Ann Althouse, February 21, 2006:

I wonder how the history books would read on the cartoons story if, by some crazy chance, fascistic Islamists win World War IV.

Ann Althouse, January 22, 2006:

This isn't meant to appeal to Islamists, who, the article suggests, would find these depictions wrong. But Mutawa has Western leanings (a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and an M.B.A. from Columbia University) and is trying to appeal to kids who feel an attraction to Western culture. Interestingly, Teshkeel has acquired Cracked magazine and plans to bring it back. Not for Arab Muslims, however, for Americans.

Ecccccccccccchhhhh!!

'Scuse me while I take a moment to wipe teh stoopid off my monitor. 

There, that's better.  Greenwald pretty much mops the floor with Miss Outhouse and her erstwhile mentor, InstaPastehead, using their own words and wafer thin arguments against them. 

To wit:

How odd that such "sanctimonious pronouncements" about "Islamists" are everywhere — including coming out of Althouse's and Reynolds' own mouths — yet "do[ they] not notice how snide and hostile it feels even to people who are not fundamentalists?" People like Althouse and Reynolds love to complain about the supposed religious hostility which exists towards Christians — a whine triggered so easily that the mere use of the word "Christianist" is sufficient for us to be subjected to it — because feeling persecuted is an insatiable need they have.

Oh, Mr. Greenwald, I raise so much hell each night, sweating and spitting as I pull out all the stops in an effort to belabor points that you seem to make without ever wrinkling your suit-jacket.  You make it look so effortless.  I would hate you if I wasn't so eager to win your approval.

But anyway, as we all know, Rightards will always, always rise to the bait.

InstaPinhead responds with his characteristically incisive wit and terrifyingly adroit mastery of the English language:

WELL, YES. Glenn Greenwald is extraordinarily lame,

Oooh, that's gonna leave a mark.

Not.

That's kind of like Tony Snow calling someone "extraordinarily sleazy".  Hey, Greenwald, the guy who wrote Army of Davids says you're "lame", "extraordinarily" so!  Oh, I know, you're gonna cry yourself to sleep tonight, aren't you?  It's okay.  Don't take it so hard. 

Althouse, however, squawks like a wet hen, and we looooove it when she gets all heated and starts to melt through her talcum powder: 

* Glenn Greenwald is such an idiot.

Uhhh, I'm sorry, Mr. Pot.  Mr. Kettle isn't at his desk right now.  I'm afraid you'll have to call him black later…

* Am I supposed to respond to this foolishness?

Missy Ann, you silly goose!  Two things:

No. 1: You already did.

and

No. 2: The only foolishness I see in Glenn's post about you is your own words held up to the light.  And they look pretty goddamn foolish from here.

More from the Outhouse Queen:

Why not take a little trouble to try to understand the person you are criticizing before you write, you disreputable slimeball? (And your writing is putrid.) [But I do love the pathetic jealousy of your post title.]

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAAAA!!

Ann Althouse called somebody else a "disreputable slimeball" who can't write?! 

Oh, my…(*wipes eyes*) that's, uh, rather rich, isn't it?

Hoooo-heeeeeeee-heeeee!  (*cough*) 

For the last time, Ann, get a haircut and a boiler suit so we don't have to keep explaining you to our friends, alright, darling?  You are NOT a good blogger.  You're NOT (oh, sooooooo not) a clever person, and you are CERTAINLY not a good writer.  Your grasp of the language would shame a fourth-grade Christianist home-schooler.  You blog like it's 2003 all over again!  ("Ooooooh, I just read here that chocolate is good for your heart!  I love chocolate!  Yay!")(Pffffffffffft.) 

Listen, dollface.  At your age, you really shouldn't be getting yourself all lathered about stuff you don't understand.  It just makes you look silly (and kind of desperate) and it can't be good for your blood pressure.  Maybe you should take up a less strenuous hobby like consumer-rating soy supplements and shampoos for color-treated hair.

Of course, I know you won't take my advice, so it's some consolation that you'll keep providing us with hours of fun as you flog dead horse after dead horse, putting up endless posts and re-posts and feverishly adding updates to those posts about your spats with various people who make you feel threatened.  They say the beauty of blogging is that anybody can do it, and while I wouldn't argue with that, it should be added that not just anybody can do it well.  And that's why you shouldn't try and mix it up with people like Glenn Greenwald (or as I like to call him, "G2").  He's a hell of a lot smarter than you and won't have any problem demonstrating that fact ad infinitum.  As fast as you set 'em up, he's going to knock 'em back down, so QUIT WHILE YOU'RE BEHIND, YOU OLD BAG!

Why don't you go and fix yourself a nice hot cup of sugar-free General Foods International Coffee and grade some papers or something?  You look like you could use a break. 

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