instant karma

"Instant karma's gonna get you…" 

The last few days have not been kind to Clan Bush (or should that be Klan Bush?).  Interestingly, it seems that the entire crooked, shiftless family has been out of the country at once, which has led to a spate of hilarious misadventures for them all.

Yeah, right, don't everybody cry at once. 

Let's move from eldest to youngest, shall we?

Poppy Bush took some time away from shepherding the ISG on Monday to give a speech to what he thought would be a sympathetic audience over in the UAE.  Things went a little off-message during the Q&A part of the presentation:

The oil-rich Persian Gulf used to be safe territory for former President Bush, who brought Arab leaders together in a coalition that drove Saddam Hussein's troops from Kuwait in 1991. But gratitude for the elder Bush, who served as president from 1989-93, was overshadowed at the conference by hostility toward his son, whose invasion of Iraq and support for Israel are deeply unpopular in the region.

"We do not respect your son. We do not respect what he's doing all over the world," a woman in the audience bluntly told Bush after his speech.

Bush, 82, appeared stunned as others in the audience whooped and whistled in approval.

Guess this wasn't one of those hand-picked crowds of GOP donors and corporate cronies that you folks can order up here in the US, was it?  Who let actual citizens into the room?  FIRE THEM AT ONCE!! 

"This son is not going to back away," Bush said, his voice quivering. "He's not going to change his view because some poll says this or some poll says that, or some heartfelt comments from the lady who feels deeply in her heart about something. You can't be president of the United States and conduct yourself if you're going to cut and run. This is going to work out in Iraq. I understand the anxiety. It's not easy."

Yes, yes, of course, whatever.  Dry up, you tedious old one-termer!  We've heard this strain of specious bullshit a hundred times before from your kid.  "Deciderin' is haaaard work!  I don't give a shit what y'all think, anyhow!  Only I know what's right for you and the rest of the world!  Now y'all shut up and lemme think for a second, godammit!!"

When pressed by an audience member to explain exactly what the plan is for the failed mission in Iraq, Bush 41 replied:

"I have strong opinions on a lot of these things. But the reason I can't voice them is, if I did what you ask me to do — tell you what advice I give my son — that would then be flashed all over the world," Bush said.

"If it happened to deviate one iota, one little inch, from what the president's doing or thinks he ought to be doing, it would be terrible. It'd bring great anxiety not only to him but to his supporters," he added.

In other words, "I know, but I can't tell you.  National security 'n' all."  Where have we heard this before?

Kind of reminds you why it was such a relief to see Bill Clinton take office in '93, doesn't it?

Meanwhile in Indonesia, thousands and thousands of protestors turned out to hurl epithets, rocks, and garbage at our current Dear Leader.  He only stayed in the country for six hours and the Lower Orders were kept at bay by a big fence and a massive security detail.

The president was to spend just six hours in Indonesia, most of it at Bogor Palace, a presidential retreat outside the capital of Jakarta and far from the scene of protests on Sunday where Bush was denounced as a "war criminal" and "terrorist". 

Oops.  I guess they don't have Pox News in Indonesia to bathe their citizens in a 24-hour mind-numbing gush of pro-Bush eyewash.  You'd think Rupert Murdoch would have spotted the hole in the market.  Oh, well, what's six hours when you know your next stop is our own Nate of Get in Their Face!'s old stomping grounds, Honolulu?  What could possibly go wrong there?

Apparently, plenty:

Though Bush was cheered by troops and others on Oahu — a contrast to the thousands of anti-war demonstrators a day before in Indonesia — his visit wasn't without incident for those around him.

Three police motorcycle officers were injured when they crashed on slick pavement while escorting his motorcade on Tuesday. Two were taken by ambulance to a local hospital, where one was described as in serious condition and another was described as stable.

Ouch. 

Also, acting White House Travel Office Director Gregg Pitts was beaten and robbed by at least two men while out in Honolulu Monday night. Pitts suffered head and other injuries in the attack. He was awake and alert but remained behind at a Honolulu hospital because of a possible concussion, White House spokesman Tony Fratto said.

Double ouch.  That'll teach him to get all liquored up and start accusing strangers of working for Al Qaeda.  Also, perhaps someone should mention to BushCo staff that when you are travelling in a bubble, it's best to remain quietly within the bubble with your seatbelt fastened until the Preznint and his entourage have come to a complete stop.  In Washington.

Take for instance what happened to a member of Not-Jenna's security detail in Argentina: 

A Secret Service agent on the advance detail got into an "altercation" with someone after a night out and was badly beaten, according to the law enforcement reports.  The Secret Service said today the incident was an attempted mugging that occurred while the agent was on his own time. The agent is doing fine.

Sigh.  Why do I get the sense that on his "night out" this guy was strutting around down there with his chest all puffed out telling anyone who'd listen what a big BADASS he is and how he works for the SECRET!  FUCKING!  SERVICE! and he could kill you with his bare hands and blah blah blah de blah…?  

If that's the case, I think I'd have bopped him on the head just on general principle.  Don't cry for him, Argentina!

The rest of the trip wasn't without incident.  Not-Jenna was robbed!

First Daughter Barbara Bush had her purse and cell phone stolen as she had dinner in a restaurant in Buenos Aires, Argentina, even though she was being guarded by a detail of Secret Service agents, according to law enforcement reports made available to ABC News.

For the most (unintentionally) hilarious reaction to this, we have to go to The Political Pit Bull (via Salon's Daou Report): 

No harm, no foul, I guess. But this doesn't really bode well for the quality of protection that the twins are getting considering that if someone was able to steal one of their purses, someone probably could have slipped, oh, I don't know, a bomb into it too.

Dude.  Step away from the episodes of '24'!  Lord knows, though, Buenos Aires could well be swarming with Al Qaeda operatives who never leave home without little home-made bombs that are just the perfect size to slip into Not-Jenna's Chanel clutch.  It's what all the hip jihadis are doing this year.  (I feel naked without mine!)

Let this be a lesson to you, oh you spawn of robber-baron and Nazi sympathizer great-grampa Prescott Bush!  Outside the United States, you don't have the necessary numbers of foot-soldiers and handlers to keep the hoi polloi from exacting their vengeance on your soft, white, privileged backsides.  Here you can hand-pick your crowds, shun honest reporters, and play to your coteries of worshipful zombies, but out there beyond our borders, it's another story.  Your family and its enablers have robbed, killed, maimed, deceived, and double-crossed enough people that it's no wonder that the vultures of karma are constantly circling, circling, ever-vigilant for the moment when they can swoop down on your unguarded heads.

Is that clear?

Now, anybody want to buy a Chanel clutch and a cell-phone?

UPDATE: Reader rwcole reminds us to bear in mind that this may all be the result of a well-aimed curse by an Indonesian witch-doctor:

An Indonesian man claiming magic powers drank animal and snake blood today as part of a ritual he said would jinx the forthcoming visit of US President George Bush.

Ki Gendeng Pamungkas slit the throat of a goat, a small snake and stabbed a black crow in the chest, mixed their blood with herbs before drinking the potion and smearing it on his face.

“I don’t hate Americans, but I don’t like Bush,” said Pamungkas, adding he believed the ritual would succeed because “the devil is with me today”.

UPDATE 2:  How did I miss this? 

Air Force One had tyres go flat in Vietnam landing

Reuters

Monday, November 20, 2006  21:18 IST

BOGOR/INDONESIA: Air Force One had six tyres go flat on landing in Ho Chi Minh City on Sunday night due to a malfunction of the aircraft's automatic braking system, White House officials said on Monday.   

The problem forced the plane's mechanics to scramble to find replacement tyres, nearly forcing US President George W Bush to fly to Indonesia in a back-up aircraft. 

Officials said a malfunction in the aircraft's automatic braking system generated sufficient heat to activate a safety feature that blows out tyre valves.

Sheesh.  That witch-doctor may be on to something. 

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