uncle sam

Well, it's come down to this, as we knew it would.  We're finding out who the real patriots are, simply by invoking the 'D' word.  That's right.  The Draft.

The military has been operating a back-door draft for a couple of years, now, extending tours of duty, telling troops and their families that they'll be coming home and then, oopsa-daisy!  We're going to need you to stay in Iraq for another 14 months, soldier!  The Preznint and his "men" (or more precisely, his father's men) are still trying to figure out what in the hell they're going to do about this mess they've made of Mesopotamia.  You don't mind, do you?  Your kids and parents and family don't mind, either, do they?  That waiting up and worrying and dreading a call from the DoD that you'll be coming home in a box, well, that just brings excitement to the lives of your loved ones!  They thrill with every late-night phone call, ecstatic to know that any day, the call could come that you've given your life in service to George Bush and the NeoCons' dreams of world conquest!  What an honor!  What a thrill!

Soon, everybody can play!

See, the three options are being presented to us as:

1. Go big.

2. Go long.

3. Go home.

Now, Options 1 and 2 are clearly going to require more troops and since Option 3 is going to be absolutely, positively off the table if people like Sean Hannity have anything to do with it, it looks like a reinstatement of the the military draft is going to be inevitable. 

Of course, I support Option 3.  We never should have gone in there.  We're not doing anything by staying.  There may be some bloodshed if we pull out quickly, but there'll be bloodshed if we stay, probably in equal or greater amounts than if we left, so we can do it fast, or we can do it slow and agonizingly. If the noises Preznint Clusterfuck has been making from overseas are any indication, the fast, smart solution would be more than his wounded pride can bear ("WE CAN'T CUT AND RUN!!  WE'RE AMERICA AND AMERICANS DON'T SURRENDER!!"), and we're going to need some more bodies to throw into the incinerator that is the Iraq War.

And where, pray, are those bodies to be broken, maimed, and murdered going to come from?   Enlistment's down!  As fast as the military can lower it's standards, it isn't fast enough.  Our boys and girls are dying in droves over there, and four times as many are coming back missing limbs or eyes or half their faces.  We've got to get some more cannon fodder in there to save the Preznint's ass!

So, it looks like we're going to have to start drafting some folks, aren't we?

Well, Charlie Rangel (D-NY) is way ahead of us all:

"There's no question in my mind that this president and this administration would never have invaded Iraq, especially on the flimsy evidence that was presented to the Congress, if indeed we had a draft and members of Congress and the administration thought that their kids from their communities would be placed in harm's way," Rangel said.

Rangel, a veteran of the Korean War who has unsuccessfully sponsored legislation on conscription in the past, has said the all-volunteer military disproportionately puts the burden of war on minorities and lower-income families.

I'm all for it.  I think it's a fantastic idea.  Mouth, meet money!  This could be just the thing!  Draft our young people!  It will solve this nation's obesity problem.  It could even solve our drug problem(s).  Let's get this shiftless generation of mouth-breathing, Cheeto-eating, Generation X-Boxers up off the couch and into uniforms!  It'll make them better people.  Getting shot and maimed builds character!  That is, if it doesn't kill you, of course, but then you get to bestow a Legacy of Glory on the loved ones you leave behind.  AND WHO DOESN'T WANT THAT?!

You know all the claptrap we were hearing a couple years ago about the Greatest Generation?  You know what made them great?  The military.  They had to fight real fascists and they came out of it better Americans, leading our nation on to an unprecedented age of peace and prosperity.  It would have worked in the 60's, too, except by then the rich people had figured out how to make sure that only poor kids went to Vietnam.  We'll close those loopholes this time around, though.  No more deferments.  Not even for Jenna and Not-Jenna. 

Oddly, though, this call to arms does not seem to be resonating well through the Wingnut-o-Sphere.  This reaction from conservative "War-Blogger" Gina Cobb seems pretty typical:

Charles Rangel Thinks He Owns You (Updated)

If Democrat Congressman Charles Rangel gets his way, everyone in America will be the government's slave for two years.  He doesn't call it "slavery."  He calls it a "draft."  But if you look closely at what he's demanding, it's not just military service.  It's all-purpose involuntary servitude:

WASHINGTON – Americans would have to sign up for a new military draft after turning 18 under a bill the incoming chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee says he will introduce next year.

Rep. Charles Rangel D-N.Y., said Sunday he sees his idea as a way to deter politicians from launching wars.  . . . .

He said having a draft would not necessarily mean everyone called to duty would have to serve. Instead, "young people (would) commit themselves to a couple of years in service to this great republic, whether it's our seaports, our airports, in schools, in hospitals," with a promise of educational benefits at the end of service.