tina, get the ax

What's that burning smell?  Do you smell something burning?

OH MY GOD, IT'S ATLAS PAM!  SHE'S BURST INTO FLAMES!!  HER HEAD!!  SHE'S ON FIRE!!  SOMEBODY GET…A CAMERA!!

The events of the last week have been pretty hard on certain people, some more than others.  Nowhere on the web is this more in evidence than over at Pammy's place.  We already knew the insulation on her wiring wasn't up to code, but it seems that the specter of a rising Democratic majority and the (sweet, sweet, unstoppable, long-overdue) death of John Bolton's hopes for staying on at the U.N. have sent her delicate circuitry into overload.  And now we're starting to see the first wisps of smoke come curling out of her ears.  BZZZZZZZZZZZT!!  ZZZZZZAP!!  POW!!

Mr. Wolcott, would you care to do the honors?

But no one's gyroscope has gone screwier than the already wobbly Pamela of Atlas Shrugs. For her, John Bolton, on whom she has a mad pash, is too good to be merely president, only the throne of Aztec Sun God would suffice, and the prospect of him being sent out to pasture, along with the other setbacks of the week, has spun her into a fugue state, capped by a post genocidally titled Death to Germany. So hoarse is Pamela's latest yowl (which she quickly, clumsily retitled Eurabia: Death [Will Come] to Germany) that even some loyal readers fear her transmission is overheating.

Uh-oh.  You know it's bad when her reader(s) start to sound the alarms.  What does this reader of hers have to say?  Why, precisely what the rest of us have been saying about Pamela for ages!  PLEASE CRAZY LADY TRY AND GET SOME REST, YOU'RE SCARING ME!

Pamela,

I write as one of your biggest fans, but I think you should take a little break in the post-election. You're obviously working very hard and it shows, but there have been some slips lately…

forgetting your laptop
denouncing halloween as antisemitic…
that anti-arab racism in the chafee post…
and now, calling for the destruction of germany?!?!?!?!

didn't alqueda call for that reecently too?

please, we care about you. you deserve some rest.

Oh, does she ever.  But what?  She lost her laptop?

Oh, yes!

Laptopless in Vegas

So I hit the ground running in Vegas for the Terror Conference and your feckless blogging correspondent left her laptop on the plane! With the Verizon phonecard! And it's not even paid off! The plane was delayed for hours ….got in at like 3am so I was not on my game.

"Not on her game" means "too much 'infidel juice' (Pammy's word for Beefeater's) on the plane plus 40mgs. of Valium to take the edge off", or, not to put too fine a point on it, "I was in a blackout when we landed and I woke up in my hotel with no laptop and no idea how I got there".  Poor, poor Pammy.  But what is she thinking calling herself "feckless"?

feckless FEK-lis, adjective:
1. Ineffective; having no real worth or purpose.
2. Worthless; irresponsible; generally incompetent and ineffectual.

Pammy, you keep saying that word, but I don't theenk it means what you theenk it means.  I mean, I would use that word to describe you, but are you sure that you want to, necessarily?  

I'm so glad that Wolcott has remained vigilant for the signs of total nervous collapse over at Atlas Shrugs.  I don't have the stomach to watch anymore except on very special occasions like this.  A man has to draw the line somewhere, although I know that any time I need to take a trip to that sleazy motel room of the soul, Wolcott will always meet me there and gamely fight me for the last shreds of Pammy's madness that fall off the coffee table and down into the weave of the carpet.  Mmmmmm-HM!!  This shit's too good to waste, man!  I can't feel my teeth or lips or anything now!  Whooooo!!  Let's party!

But, gosh, what are we going to do if she really does retire?  We've all known from the moment we watched her first "Atlas Vlogs" post back in the day that this was going to be a fleeting pleasure, as transient as Tokyo's annual cherry blossoms.  No one could be that crazy and that shit-stupid for this long without starting to fry some crucial components in the old brain pan.  I'm only sorry that she didn't get to flame out on national television where we could all TiVo it and watch it again and again and again.

What will we do without her?  Who will stop the eeeeeeeevil Islamofascist evildoers at the Manhattan Levi's store who dared to spit on Israel and all of Western Civilization by KNOWINGLY draping a kaffiyeh on a mannequin?  Those GODDAMN TERRORIST SYMPATHIZING RETAIL WORKERS MUST BE KEPT IN FUCKING LINE!!  And only Pam understands the true, heart-pounding, life-or-death urgency of the situation facing us.  I mean, look at these headlines:

Bolton Foils Evil, again and again

Rumsfeld: A Staggering Loss

Brace Yourself: ISLAMERICA

Pam is providing us with hours and hours of delightful schadenfreudelicious fun!, ur, uh, I mean, a valuable service.  Only she recognizes the true nature of the the threat posed by the demonic Islamofascist hordes, but you my friend, you too will understand when they come to your house and CUT OFF YOUR HEAD.

Back to Wolcott from December of 2005:

And just this morning, the day after Christmas and the second day of Hannukah, blogdom's zestiest Zionist party girl elevated the discourse by dismissing the concerns of legal scholars perturbed about Bush's domestic spying thusly:

"Someone ought to tlell those legal scholars not to worry…….it's smooth sailing once those Radical Islmonazis saw through their jugulars."

(Her excitable italics.)

And what about posts like this?

This I gotta see

French Forces Almost Fired on Israeli Jets in Lebanon This should be sweet  ………. embed me!

No, really, please!  Embed her!  Someone has to!  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! 

Ouch, okay, that was a cheap shot.  But it's not like they don't all come in low and over the plate with Pam.  She's a national treasure, an invaluable resource to sharp-tongued satirists like me who love nothing so much as lovingly documenting the moral and intellectual disintegration of the parade of train-wrecks on the Pajamas Media roster.  So, let's all form a Feeling Circle and hold hands and send positive, healing energy Pamela's way.  Liiiiiiive, Pam, liiiiiiive.  Live to be batshit insane for another day.  Live to see Islamonazis around every corner and lurking in every trendy Manhattan boutique.  Live to declare war on Germany and the other nations of (*cough!*) "Eurabia" so that we may all laugh heartily at your expense forever!

Blessed be. 

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