flame thrower

If there's one thing I try to encourage in my fellows, it's Liberal Rage.  All those candy-asses on the Right were raising hell last year about those scary, UNHINGED, angry, angry liberal bloggers.  You remember that?  The Washington Post piece on Maryscott O'Connor and her "one long sustained scream"?  Mmmmmm.  Yeah.  Those were the days.

I remember reading all that hissing and flapping on the part of the Usual Suspects and thinking, "Sheeeyit.  You bitchez don't know the HALF of Liberal Rage!"

There was a bit of concern on my part that our spate of recent victories and seizure of the slimmest possible majority in the Senate would lead an inevitable neutering and softening of the discourse in Left Blogistan as we found ourselves being invited into the foyer of the Halls of Power, however reluctantly.  You know, Harry Reid might let me come to the table if I leave my battle ax and necklace of ears at home.  (But I'll feel naked!)

Fortunately, some of my favorite bloggers out there apparently didn't get the "We're Being Nice Now" memo.

Let's go over to Bob Cesca at HuffPo, who is handing out ass-kickings in the form of Nice Big Cups of Shut the Fuck Up:

2) The cowards who so easily disregard our liberties by shrugging off the president's illegal wiretapping; the cowards who shrug off the Military Commissions Act and the death of habeas corpus; and the cowards who shrug off torture with the phrases, "I'm not doing anything wrong, so I have nothing to worry about," or, "You can't [blank] if you're dead," ought to shut the f*** up.

Amen!!  But he's just getting started…

3) Anyone who still believes that global warming is a myth? Shut the f*** up.

4) Rush Limbaugh must shut the f*** up. On second thought, strike that. The more we see Violet Beauregard flapping his arms and mocking Parkinson's patients, the better off the rest of the nation will be.

5) In Ann Coulter's latest column, he wondered when the Democrats would be fitting Senator-Elect Jon Tester with a "leotard." Speaking of tards, Mr. Coulter needs to shut the f*** up. And this order stands for anyone who claims Senator-Elect Tester is a "conservative Democrat." He could very well be the face of the New Progressive Democrat and one of the most genuine lawmakers elected Tuesday. Prediction: if he isn't already, Tester will quickly become a rock star in this party.

It's waaaaay past time for Ann Coulter to Shut the Fuck Up.  She still has a column?  Surely there's something we can do about that.  The old bag could doubtless use some rest.

7) Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly and other homophobes who use the "San Francisco Liberal" label for Speaker-Elect Pelosi must… you know. We all understand that it's right-wing code language meaning "homo-values." If that's what you mean, just say it. That is, unless you're not man enough.

8) If you still believe that Karl Rove is a genius, wizard, architect or anything short of overrated, you must shut the f*** up. One popular vote loss, one win, one near loss to a disorganized opponent and one outright loss means one thing and one thing only: mediocrity. Racking up this kind of record by means of dirty tricks, race-baiting and questioning the patriotism of decorated war veterans makes Rove a mediocre hack at best.

9) Ed Gillespie, the man who's just a neck with a mouth, is officially ordered for the last time to shut the f*** up.

Hee.  "A neck with a mouth".  I'm sorry, David Sirota, I'm going to have to bail on my unrequited blog-crush on you.  It was nice while it lasted, not that you even noticed or anything, but my heart has been utterly and completely won by Bob Cesca, now.  I hope his wife doesn't mind me moving into the room over their garage.

But, speaking of the dashing Mr. Sirota, he's calling bullshit on the people who think that Lieberman winning the general election is going to make him more powerful than ever:

The senator’s post-election anger suggests he intimately understands just how much power and credibility he has lost. His victory speeches on election night and the day after were laced with rage. Far from being magnanimous or humble, he used the occasion to attack the majority of Connecticut voters who voted against him as representing the “extreme.” He then issued the political equivalent of pro-wrestler threats, reiterating to Democrats that he will now be even more “independent” (read: Republican) than ever. His campaign website now features one giant link across the top of the page—a link to a blogged screed by former Christian Coalition official Marshall Wittman that breathlessly attacks progressives and bloggers for having the nerve to challenge Lieberman. (What a gracious winner you are Joe—really, you stay classy Joe Lieberman.)

Some people might call it sour grapes, but I think Sirota is, as usual, right on target.  Lieberman is a suck-up and a habitual toady.  Now that there's a whole new set of powerful boots for him to lick, he's going to get right down on his knees again, just facing the other way.  That's our Holy Joe, the man who never met a set of principles he believed in too much to sell out.

And finally tonight, we'll go to Matt Taibbi, who has some further thoughts on Holy Joe's Election Night victory dance:

10:25 p.m. CNN showing Joe Lieberman's victory speech. Lieberman bearing leprechaunish grin, thanking everyone on planet earth. "And I thank," he shouts, "the firefighters of the state of Connecticut!" Lieberman looks at firefighters in room and smiles, like he really likes firefighters. Then he looks back at the camera triumphantly with a look that says it all — "Nice try, you fuckers! Get ready for six more years of ME!"

After that Lieberman starts blathering about his "Lieber leaders," drawing more cheers; he does the closed-fist/thumbs-up thing at the word "Lieber." Three years ago in New Hampshire, it was "Liebermaniacs." What's next? "Lieber-holes?" "Lieber peepers?" Worse? And I want to thank all the Lieberfuckers in the audience tonight, without whom this wonderful victory for all our Connecticut citizens would not have been possible…

To me, this ruins the whole evening. I can't see any way to describe any day in which Joe Lieberman wins an election as a good day, but here's the good news: Six years from now, both the Republicans and the Democrats will run serious candidates, and Joe Lieberman will be scrambling for the last eleven percent of Connecticut's half-in-the-grave vote, running on a ticket of "the terrorists support both of my opponents." It'll be worth staying in journalism just for that.

And it'll be worth staying tuned in just to see what you have to say about it, Matt Taibbi.  I think RG Joe won this election just so you'd have a nice pin-cushion to hold all your best poison darts.  Give em hell!

Yes, I expect Liberal Rage has a bright future, gang.  But it feels oh, so good when you let it out.  I know I'm not hanging up my flame-thrower just yet. 

Related posts:

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  2. Why Is Lieberman Scared of Big, Bad Rachel Maddow?
  3. Lieberman for Anything
  4. Klein on How Lieberman Went Bad: It’s All Jane’s Fault
  5. Late Night: Happy Birthday, Mr President. Now Let’s All Make a Wish!