harpy

Oh, you little bitch troll from hell! 

Melanie Morgan, you are a crab louse on the body politic, a human canker sore on American journalism, a grasping, pathetic piece of filth.  Not content with hysterically screeching for American journalists to be sent to the gas chamber, you have co-authored a "biography" (translation, "tawdry little hit-piece disguised as a book") of grieving war mother and political lightning rod Cindy Sheehan.  In it, you and your co-author Catherine Moy resort to that most time-honored technique for the silencing of rebellious women.

You call her a slut. 

But on today's Hannity and Colmes, for once in his life Alan Colmes didn't seem content to sit there doing his best Terri Schiavo impression (GASP!).  From Hannity and Colmes via C&L: 

Alan Colmes: Let me just say something, that I find the way you're going after Cindy Sheehan despicable.

What?!  Hold the phone!  Alan Colmes is actually standing up to a paid Reich Wing shill?

*faints dead away*

Apparently, Morgan and her co-author Catherine Moy (who resembles nothing so much as a peeled potato dressed in a black caftan)(miserable little turnip) are just as surprised by this sudden show of emotion from Mr. Lie-Down-and-Play-Dead Pox News Liberal as I was, because they just sit there looking at him like a couple of not-very-bright cocker spaniels hearing a high-pitched sound.  It's like they're utterly bewildered, aghast that anyone would question their decision to invalidate Cindy Sheehan's message by calling her a scarlet whore, a filthy hussy, and...a porn-junkie.

SHOCK!!  HORROR!!

Back to you, Alan:

Alan Colmes:  Here's a woman who lost a son.  Everybody grieves differently.  In your book, for example, you talk about Cindy Sheehan having an affair with Lou Rockwell, you say she's addicted to online porn, which has nothing to do with anything as far as I'm concerned.  You tie her to David Duke and the KKK and Hugo Chavez...

They were going to try and squeeze Susan Smith and Jeffrey Dahmer in there, too, Alan, but they came up hard against their deadline with the Reich Wing Press.

Alan Colmes: And I really think it's disgusting.  I really think it's disgusting what you're doing in terms of talking about her being on line in chat rooms doing porn things or whatever, what does that have to do with anything?

To which Melanie "Little Trail of Cat-Sick" Morgan replies:

Melanie Morgan: I'll be happy to answer that, Alan, happy to.  See, it is my single goal in life to become a bargain basement Ann Coulter, and I want to hit every sleazy stop on the way down.  Ann beat me to the 9/11 widows, so I figured grabbing attention by attacking Cindy Sheehan was the next best thing.  I couldn't actually accuse her of murdering her son for attention because she might sue me, so I just called her a dirty whore.  Also, I'll never be as skinny as Ann Coulter, so I hired Catherine Moy here.  I got her to do all the research and the bulk of the writing, but really I could have hired a secretary for that.  Catherine's here to come on these shows with me and make me look thin! 

If there's anything positive to be said here at all, it's that Morgan is lagging behind even Bill Frist in her GOP talking points.  Cindy Sheehan was soooooooooo 2004.  She's pretty much reached the end of her narrative arc in the public consciousness.  If anything, American Mourning is a swift-boating attempt that left out the "swift" part.  (A "slow-boating"?)  Two years too late and completely irrelevant to our current political situation, this book is destined to sell even fewer copies than Kate O'Burnout's Women Who Threaten Me and Make Me Feel Unattractive. 

Nonetheless, I urge you all to stop by and review Morgan and Moy's bitchy little slam book at your earliest convenience and leave us some juicy quotes from your reviews in tonight's comments.  Oh, and extra special bonus snark points for the best new nickname for Melanie!  Her career isn't going to last a whole lot longer, to be sure, so let's make sure to kick her as hard and often as we can while she's still around.  Hooray!  

(Really, this is the limit.  Melanie Morgan?  Pfffft.  That bitch isn't just dead meat, she's carrion.  Pure, reeking, fly-blown roadkill.  Let's make sure her book turns out just like her!)