smirking chimps

Did anyone but me snort through their nose when they saw that "Scarborough Country" graphic and the headline, "Fake News vs. Fox News"?    I mean, what’s the difference?  Apples, meet apples.

You know, I have disagreed with Barbara Boxer from time to time, especially in her endorsement of RG Joe back in the summer.  But after this bit of hard push-back with snotty Fox anchor Jane Skinner yesterday, I’ve got to show Senator Boxer some love.  Say what you will about her, the Lady clearly knows how to throw a punch.

Let’s go to the transcript, shall we?

Boxer: …and I think our policy is not helping matters at all.

Skinner:  Well, as you know, the President said this morning that the offense is not going to make us less safe.  Just a bit of disagreement with you.  We appreciate your perspective.

Boxer: I hear that you agree with the President and I’m not surprised. 

Skinner: We’re just trying to bring both sides, Senator Barbara Boxer from California.

Boxer: Oh, you’re "fair and balanced", thank you very much.

Skinner: Thank you very much indeed we are.  We want to know what you think because we ARE fair and balance blah de blah diddy blah…

The best part of the whole thing (aside from watching Jane Skinner recoil like Boxer just slapped her across the face, "How DARE a US Senator backtalk ME, a FOX NEWS ANCHOR?!") was the big bright smile Boxer flashed as she signed off, which clearly said, "Oh, and you can kiss my ass in Macy’s window, ya little chippie!!  And have a niiiiiiiiiice day."

Hell, yeah. 

It’s time to hit back hard like that, y’all.  Big Dog sounded the klaxon last weekend when he lowered the boom on that little assmonkey who tried to sandbag him.  Fox News is just the RNC’s propaganda wing.  It’s time we called them on it.

So tell everybody you know.  Push this meme, my little Blogistas!  EVERYBODY needs to make like Bill and Barbara.  Any time any progressive goes on Fox News, writes emails or letters to Fox News, or even discusses Fox News with coworkers or friends, you must establish a priori that it is a fraudulent organization.  Pox News, Fake and Biased!  I urge you to make liberal use of air quotes.  "Fair and balanced"!  Let’s do it together now.  Fingers up!  "Fair and balanced", right?  One more time, curl your lip in disgust just a liiiiiittle more…"Fair and balanced".  Yeeeeeah.  Feel the burn.

Think about it.  Pox News is the front line in the War on Truth.  They’ve been spinning a continuous line of specious Reich Wing bullshit since, oh, 1996.  (Hey, wasn’t that the year that the rightards dove straight to the bottom of President Clinton’s underwear drawer and set up their whole Ken Starr trailer-park?  Which, if "Path to 9/11" is to be believed, left the Clinton administration so distracted they couldn’t fight terrah?)

We have Faux News to thank for the ascendency of Bill O’Reilly, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, and all (and I mean ALL) the rest of the Usual Suspects.  It is without precedent (except maybe in North Korea) that an entire national media empire was founded on pushing the agenda of an elite fringe of wealthy right wing extremists. 

Our national dialogue has been hijacked and flown into a building.  Public perception has been warped to the right by an unremitting flood of 24-hour non-stop lies.  Fox was instrumental in the run up to the War in Iraq, incestuously amplifying the Bush White House’s message all day every day seven days a week, 365 days a year.  For that alone, they should all be jailhouse bitches like Judy Miller.  Humiliated.  Discredited.  Shills.

I saw Halloween decorations at Kroger the other night and realized that it’s almost time to start thinking about the War on Christmas™ season.  Already?!  I know!  It just seems to come earlier every year.  Before you know it, we’ll be having the After War on Christmas™ sales in November!

How can we most properly thank the media cesspool that spawned Bill "T-Warrior" O’Reilly?  "T-Warrior" and his homeez from Da Country Club gon’ be kickin’ some serious "S-P" bootay up in here (that’s "Secular-Progressive", ya greenhorn!), or at least that’s what I hear, y’all.  ("T-Warrior" stands for "Traditional Warrior", a role it is apparently possible to maintain in life even as you sexually harass your female employees by calling them on the phone and informing them you’re masturbating with a dildo up your ass.)

Jesus, has that guy got some kind of closed head-wound action going on?  Don’t be surprised when he starts carrying around a baseball bat and spouting snatches of dialogue from The Warriors, okay?  YOU foisted this upon us, Fox News.  And you will pay, oh, yes.  You will paaaaaaaaay.

And I know exactly how it’s going to happen.  In a startlingly poetic twist of fate, the Bush administration’s new Prescription Drug Plan will mean that your audience is no longer too medicated to find the remote and change the channel.  You will hemorrhage viewers until there’s no one left watching but John Gibson’s hairdresser and whatever unfortunate camera operator is on duty.  And that will make me so sad that I’ll laugh and laugh until I cry.