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	<title>Comments on: That&#8217;s The Way Ah Ha A Ha We Like It</title>
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		<title>By: Paul</title>
		<link>http://firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-301745</link>
		<dc:creator>Paul</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Sep 2006 21:05:47 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description>&lt;p&gt;C-Span ran the Senate hearings on how Halliburton/KBR has been ripping off the US taxpayers with fraudulent claims of inflated expenses and such. We all knew that was going on.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;BUT — a big part of this testimony as well, was from former Iraq Halliburton/KBR employees (and their legal counsel), who delivered fuel etc. And how, in April 2004, they were sent down a road that was known to be in the middle of combat operations, a ‘blacked out’ route, which means no civilians allowed to travel - period.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Halliburton/KBR knowingly sent a large convoy of their fuel trucks into the middle of this raging conflict, which resulted in many civilian injuries and a few deaths (as well as the death of two US soldiers).&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Halliburton/KBR has completely stonewalled and delayed any inquiry or investigation into this matter, and has never even contacted the former employees since. The lawyers for these plaintiffs can’t even get the documents they need to progess with these cases. Speaking of which:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;It was also revealed, that Halliburton/KBR devised a plan to have injured employees sign away any and all rights to any claim — under the guise of a medical release form to be sent to the Pentagon. Employees did this to be awarded a ‘Civilian Award of Courage’, or something like that, which was created just after 9/11. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;How utterly f’king despicable can they be?&lt;br /&gt;
We’ll probably never find out. And I don’t think the MSM covered this whatsoever.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;The video is still the first link on the C-Span site here -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.c-span.org/&quot;&gt;http://www.c-span.org/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
_______________________________________________&lt;/p&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>C-Span ran the Senate hearings on how Halliburton/KBR has been ripping off the US taxpayers with fraudulent claims of inflated expenses and such. We all knew that was going on.</p>
<p>BUT — a big part of this testimony as well, was from former Iraq Halliburton/KBR employees (and their legal counsel), who delivered fuel etc. And how, in April 2004, they were sent down a road that was known to be in the middle of combat operations, a ‘blacked out’ route, which means no civilians allowed to travel &#8211; period.</p>
<p>Halliburton/KBR knowingly sent a large convoy of their fuel trucks into the middle of this raging conflict, which resulted in many civilian injuries and a few deaths (as well as the death of two US soldiers).</p>
<p>Halliburton/KBR has completely stonewalled and delayed any inquiry or investigation into this matter, and has never even contacted the former employees since. The lawyers for these plaintiffs can’t even get the documents they need to progess with these cases. Speaking of which:</p>
<p>It was also revealed, that Halliburton/KBR devised a plan to have injured employees sign away any and all rights to any claim — under the guise of a medical release form to be sent to the Pentagon. Employees did this to be awarded a ‘Civilian Award of Courage’, or something like that, which was created just after 9/11. </p>
<p>How utterly f’king despicable can they be?<br />
We’ll probably never find out. And I don’t think the MSM covered this whatsoever.</p>
<p>The video is still the first link on the C-Span site here -<br />
<a href="http://www.c-span.org/">http://www.c-span.org/</a><br />
_______________________________________________</p>
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		<title>By: Grandma M</title>
		<link>http://firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-299846</link>
		<dc:creator>Grandma M</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Sep 2006 16:58:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-299846</guid>
		<description>&lt;p&gt;Thanks for this Jane,&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I called the Democratic Policy Committee offices to thank them - Staffs mentioned that they would have no problem with us helping to make sure C Span broadcasts this live.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Y’all know what to do - Here is C Spans main telephone number:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;(202) 737-3220&lt;/p&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thanks for this Jane,</p>
<p>I called the Democratic Policy Committee offices to thank them &#8211; Staffs mentioned that they would have no problem with us helping to make sure C Span broadcasts this live.</p>
<p>Y’all know what to do &#8211; Here is C Spans main telephone number:</p>
<p>(202) 737-3220</p>
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		<title>By: Sally</title>
		<link>http://firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-298135</link>
		<dc:creator>Sally</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Sep 2006 12:01:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-298135</guid>
		<description>&lt;p&gt;Who could rationally convict any military member for refusing to risk his/her life in this obscene war? The decision to report to the war zone must be incredibly difficult for those who recognize the truth that they are fulfilling their part of a contract while their leaders are not.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Re mental health.  I remember a statement by someone in that field to the effect that people go “insane” to maintain their sanity.  Sounds logical to me.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Who could rationally convict any military member for refusing to risk his/her life in this obscene war? The decision to report to the war zone must be incredibly difficult for those who recognize the truth that they are fulfilling their part of a contract while their leaders are not.</p>
<p>Re mental health.  I remember a statement by someone in that field to the effect that people go “insane” to maintain their sanity.  Sounds logical to me.</p>
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		<title>By: LindyH</title>
		<link>http://firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297922</link>
		<dc:creator>LindyH</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Sep 2006 03:53:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297922</guid>
		<description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;#comment-297916&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;prostratedragon @ 120&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;So, in this thread (I see there’s a new one up above) are we converging on the notion that it won’t really be over until we’ve reversed the whole trend toward utter civic irresponsibility? Until we restore the notion of critical public goods and public needs that cannot be left to the dictates of patronage and private advantage-seeking? That electing [better] Democratic candidates to office will be at best just a beginning? Because I think that’s the truth of the matter.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I agree with that. No WAY can we undo the damage that’s been done to our country and the world in this generation. We need to get the next generation at least started, though. Worthwhile work, I say.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="#comment-297916"><em>prostratedragon @ 120</em></a></p>
<blockquote><p>So, in this thread (I see there’s a new one up above) are we converging on the notion that it won’t really be over until we’ve reversed the whole trend toward utter civic irresponsibility? Until we restore the notion of critical public goods and public needs that cannot be left to the dictates of patronage and private advantage-seeking? That electing [better] Democratic candidates to office will be at best just a beginning? Because I think that’s the truth of the matter.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I agree with that. No WAY can we undo the damage that’s been done to our country and the world in this generation. We need to get the next generation at least started, though. Worthwhile work, I say.</p>
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		<title>By: prostratedragon</title>
		<link>http://firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297916</link>
		<dc:creator>prostratedragon</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Sep 2006 03:45:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297916</guid>
		<description>&lt;p&gt;So, in this thread (I see there’s a new one up above) are we converging on the notion that it won’t really be over until we’ve reversed the whole trend toward utter civic irresponsibility? Until we restore the notion of critical public goods and public needs that cannot be left to the dictates of patronage and private advantage-seeking? That electing [better] Democratic candidates to office will be at best just a beginning? Because I think that’s the truth of the matter.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So, in this thread (I see there’s a new one up above) are we converging on the notion that it won’t really be over until we’ve reversed the whole trend toward utter civic irresponsibility? Until we restore the notion of critical public goods and public needs that cannot be left to the dictates of patronage and private advantage-seeking? That electing [better] Democratic candidates to office will be at best just a beginning? Because I think that’s the truth of the matter.</p>
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		<title>By: LindyH</title>
		<link>http://firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297913</link>
		<dc:creator>LindyH</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Sep 2006 03:45:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297913</guid>
		<description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;#comment-297761&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;egregious @&lt;br /&gt;
                82              &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;jeffreyw at 47 &lt;i&gt;Every soldier and Marine has a least a weapon and training, the scabs, not so much&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I am seeing a HUGE overlap here between our fdl military threads and our fdl labor threads.  Contractor/private army versus regular military.  Who works for us, the American people?  Who works for those who use OUR TAX DOLLARS to hire mercenaries?  &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;The &lt;b&gt;B&lt;/b&gt;illions acknowledged lost on 9/10/01 and the &lt;b&gt;B&lt;/b&gt;illions lost in Iraq go a long way to providing a permanent mercenary army for those who would do us harm.  Or at minimum, those who do not care whether their actions do us harm.  Ahem $$$$. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What if people whose only goal was power have already used our tax dollars and our military to set up their own kingdom?  *cough*&lt;b&gt;MOONIES&lt;/b&gt;*cough*.  Should we continue to support this with the lives of our soldiers?  Tin or titanium, your choice.  Sometimes it seems the only possible explanation sounds like 1984 type fiction.  But what if that is what’s really happening?  &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Not asking you to believe, just asking you to think about what it would look like, if this was true.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;egregious, I don’t disbelieve you. I know the **cough**moonies**cough**. In fact, I thought pt911 smelled a lot like them, but this is not something I can prove or we can do anything about unless and until we get the thugs out of the picture.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Meantime, be kind to yourself. I, for one, value your insight.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="#comment-297761"><em>egregious @<br />
                82              </em></a></p>
<blockquote><p>jeffreyw at 47 <i>Every soldier and Marine has a least a weapon and training, the scabs, not so much</i></p>
<p>I am seeing a HUGE overlap here between our fdl military threads and our fdl labor threads.  Contractor/private army versus regular military.  Who works for us, the American people?  Who works for those who use OUR TAX DOLLARS to hire mercenaries?  </p>
<p>The <b>B</b>illions acknowledged lost on 9/10/01 and the <b>B</b>illions lost in Iraq go a long way to providing a permanent mercenary army for those who would do us harm.  Or at minimum, those who do not care whether their actions do us harm.  Ahem $$$$. </p>
<p>What if people whose only goal was power have already used our tax dollars and our military to set up their own kingdom?  *cough*<b>MOONIES</b>*cough*.  Should we continue to support this with the lives of our soldiers?  Tin or titanium, your choice.  Sometimes it seems the only possible explanation sounds like 1984 type fiction.  But what if that is what’s really happening?  </p>
<p>Not asking you to believe, just asking you to think about what it would look like, if this was true.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>egregious, I don’t disbelieve you. I know the **cough**moonies**cough**. In fact, I thought pt911 smelled a lot like them, but this is not something I can prove or we can do anything about unless and until we get the thugs out of the picture.</p>
<p>Meantime, be kind to yourself. I, for one, value your insight.</p>
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		<title>By: hufNpuf</title>
		<link>http://firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297884</link>
		<dc:creator>hufNpuf</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Sep 2006 03:23:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297884</guid>
		<description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;#comment-297844&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;*ilbo @&lt;br /&gt;
                116              &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;#110 hufnpuf. History has proven over and over the human to human misery created through war. They’re trying to push it all back into cave mentality. Fear, react, etc.. Hey, come to think of it a cave doesn’t sound to bad about now.  Sports is just another sign of this declining culture. I’m still a ‘basketball jonesey’ though I don’t celebrate as rabidly and enjoy a fair well played game.  Must change the game plan.  Jimmy Carter for Secretary of Peace is a good start Oldcoastie.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;  Amen brother,or sister. Pac 10 refs suck! Have a good one. Nite&lt;/p&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="#comment-297844"><em>*ilbo @<br />
                116              </em></a></p>
<blockquote><p>#110 hufnpuf. History has proven over and over the human to human misery created through war. They’re trying to push it all back into cave mentality. Fear, react, etc.. Hey, come to think of it a cave doesn’t sound to bad about now.  Sports is just another sign of this declining culture. I’m still a ‘basketball jonesey’ though I don’t celebrate as rabidly and enjoy a fair well played game.  Must change the game plan.  Jimmy Carter for Secretary of Peace is a good start Oldcoastie.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>  Amen brother,or sister. Pac 10 refs suck! Have a good one. Nite</p>
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		<title>By: egregious</title>
		<link>http://firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297880</link>
		<dc:creator>egregious</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Sep 2006 03:22:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297880</guid>
		<description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;#comment-297754&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Eli @ 75 &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;#comment-297751&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;neurophius @ 72&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;Without saying so directly, while discussing U.S./North Korea relations, Carter just compared Bush to a pouting child. Right on target.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Only a Democrat could say that like it’s a bad thing, because Democrats all hate children and babies.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I have sacrificed much to save the lives of  babies and I am a Democrat. Cost to my biological children that I hope to God are ok despite my time away from them in Russia.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;DEAR GOD WAS IT WORTH IT&lt;/p&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="#comment-297754"><em>Eli @ 75 </em></a></p>
<blockquote><p><a href="#comment-297751"><em>neurophius @ 72</em></a></p>
<blockquote><p>Without saying so directly, while discussing U.S./North Korea relations, Carter just compared Bush to a pouting child. Right on target.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Only a Democrat could say that like it’s a bad thing, because Democrats all hate children and babies.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I have sacrificed much to save the lives of  babies and I am a Democrat. Cost to my biological children that I hope to God are ok despite my time away from them in Russia.</p>
<p>DEAR GOD WAS IT WORTH IT</p>
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		<title>By: *ilbo</title>
		<link>http://firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297844</link>
		<dc:creator>*ilbo</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Sep 2006 02:57:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297844</guid>
		<description>&lt;p&gt;#110 hufnpuf. History has proven over and over the human to human misery created through war. They’re trying to push it all back into cave mentality. Fear, react, etc.. Hey, come to think of it a cave doesn’t sound to bad about now.  Sports is just another sign of this declining culture. I’m still a ‘basketball jonesey’ though I don’t celebrate as rabidly and enjoy a fair well played game.  Must change the game plan.  Jimmy Carter for Secretary of Peace is a good start Oldcoastie.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>#110 hufnpuf. History has proven over and over the human to human misery created through war. They’re trying to push it all back into cave mentality. Fear, react, etc.. Hey, come to think of it a cave doesn’t sound to bad about now.  Sports is just another sign of this declining culture. I’m still a ‘basketball jonesey’ though I don’t celebrate as rabidly and enjoy a fair well played game.  Must change the game plan.  Jimmy Carter for Secretary of Peace is a good start Oldcoastie.</p>
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		<title>By: Valley Girl</title>
		<link>http://firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297837</link>
		<dc:creator>Valley Girl</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Sep 2006 02:52:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.firedoglake.com/2006/09/16/thats-the-way-ah-ha-a-ha-we-like-it/#comment-297837</guid>
		<description>&lt;p&gt;egregious- Bush is mentally ill.  He has ruined the hopes and dreams of many.  Not to mention those he has killed by proxy, in one way or another.  As to your question, “am I still in grief..”.  &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Okay, I have sometimes done this, and call it “whying”.  On the whole, it only leads one deeper into despair, based on my own experience.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What I am going to quote below, my dear egregious, is something that I wrote (part of that unfinished ms. on depression that I sent you).  I don’t really have time to edit it so that it becomes a specific response to you, and as such some of it def. does not apply.  But, I offer it up, in case there is still something helpful in it for you, or others. xxoo&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;—————&lt;br /&gt;
One of the attitudes that you have to fight during depression, one of the voices, is the one that says it’s your fault.  You can waste a lot of time, and drive yourself further into despair by trying to “figure it out.”  By “figure it out” I mean all sorts of things, including trying to figure out why the people in your life that have disappointed and mistreated you have done so, or trying to figure out why depression has settled particularly on you.  Insight is a good thing in moderation, but figuring it out can become an addiction and trap that can block action.  Understanding has a good ring to it doesn’t it?  Yes except you can ruminate until the cows come home and end the day not having done much that helps you move out of your rut or your downhill spiral.  I’m not saying that an “A ha” experience that triggers real insight about our own feelings or behavior isn’t a good thing, I’m saying that when the “A ha” is translated into action healing can occur.  Particularly if you have grown up in a situation where solutions were blocked, where you were covertly or overtly taught that you were helpless, or things were safest if you were helpless or didn’t make to many waves or have too many of your own ideas, then this pattern will have taken hold.  Learned helplessness.  The good ideas don’t get acted on, good ideas substitute for good actions, or and the good ideas stop calling upon you.  If you’re not used to thinking that there is something you can do about a problem, but rather accept it, then it might be that the good ideas will stop coming.  To change gears, there’s an import caveat here.  Some of the “what can I do about it questions” have to do with practical problems.  “My house is always a mess.  Why am such a slob?  What can I do to keep things more orderly?”  Ask the first question and you will tire yourself with a question that has no answer.  Ask the second question, with the certain assumption that there are some answers out there waiting for you, then act on those answers and you will find things changing.  Some other “what can I do about it questions” are trickier.  “I always feel so depressed after I talk to my mother”.  The whys on this one may or may not be obvious.  And perhaps or probably insight will help gain some clarity and acceptance.  But “what can I do about it?” is the question still waiting.  The important thing to remember when dealing with this one is that the question is, “what can I do about it”, not “how can I make her change, be happy, depress me less,  so that this isn’t a problem for me.”  The question  isn’t what can I get the other person to do to change, but what is realistically within my power.&lt;br /&gt;
———————&lt;/p&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>egregious- Bush is mentally ill.  He has ruined the hopes and dreams of many.  Not to mention those he has killed by proxy, in one way or another.  As to your question, “am I still in grief..”.  </p>
<p>Okay, I have sometimes done this, and call it “whying”.  On the whole, it only leads one deeper into despair, based on my own experience.</p>
<p>What I am going to quote below, my dear egregious, is something that I wrote (part of that unfinished ms. on depression that I sent you).  I don’t really have time to edit it so that it becomes a specific response to you, and as such some of it def. does not apply.  But, I offer it up, in case there is still something helpful in it for you, or others. xxoo</p>
<p>—————<br />
One of the attitudes that you have to fight during depression, one of the voices, is the one that says it’s your fault.  You can waste a lot of time, and drive yourself further into despair by trying to “figure it out.”  By “figure it out” I mean all sorts of things, including trying to figure out why the people in your life that have disappointed and mistreated you have done so, or trying to figure out why depression has settled particularly on you.  Insight is a good thing in moderation, but figuring it out can become an addiction and trap that can block action.  Understanding has a good ring to it doesn’t it?  Yes except you can ruminate until the cows come home and end the day not having done much that helps you move out of your rut or your downhill spiral.  I’m not saying that an “A ha” experience that triggers real insight about our own feelings or behavior isn’t a good thing, I’m saying that when the “A ha” is translated into action healing can occur.  Particularly if you have grown up in a situation where solutions were blocked, where you were covertly or overtly taught that you were helpless, or things were safest if you were helpless or didn’t make to many waves or have too many of your own ideas, then this pattern will have taken hold.  Learned helplessness.  The good ideas don’t get acted on, good ideas substitute for good actions, or and the good ideas stop calling upon you.  If you’re not used to thinking that there is something you can do about a problem, but rather accept it, then it might be that the good ideas will stop coming.  To change gears, there’s an import caveat here.  Some of the “what can I do about it questions” have to do with practical problems.  “My house is always a mess.  Why am such a slob?  What can I do to keep things more orderly?”  Ask the first question and you will tire yourself with a question that has no answer.  Ask the second question, with the certain assumption that there are some answers out there waiting for you, then act on those answers and you will find things changing.  Some other “what can I do about it questions” are trickier.  “I always feel so depressed after I talk to my mother”.  The whys on this one may or may not be obvious.  And perhaps or probably insight will help gain some clarity and acceptance.  But “what can I do about it?” is the question still waiting.  The important thing to remember when dealing with this one is that the question is, “what can I do about it”, not “how can I make her change, be happy, depress me less,  so that this isn’t a problem for me.”  The question  isn’t what can I get the other person to do to change, but what is realistically within my power.<br />
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